"Oogely boogely! " said Hermione.
The bat materialized with only one wing and spun pathetically to the floor, flopping around in a circle on the gray stone.
"Now what is it really?" said Hermione.
"3 to 2 to 1."
"Oogely boogely! "
This time there was no bat of any kind; instead, Hermione felt a pulling sensation somewhere in her stomach, and then she suddenly stood in a different room, facing a pink lady who looked like a simplistically drawn cartoon character. This struck her as odd – her first thought was that it had been Harry's plan somehow, but that didn't seem right. It was impossible to disapparate out of Hogwarts, so the only way she could be here was if they had discovered a new kind of teleportation that worked differently from ordinary disapparation, and so the founders of Hogwarts hadn't been able to prevent it. And if it that case, they would actually have made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of magic, even though they were only eleven (and had only been trying for an hour). And then Harry would have been right after all... sort of.
"Excuse me," the lady said, "can you talk?"
"Yes," said Hermione.
"Great! I had to bring you here, but if you cooperate, I promise it will be temporary."
"Wait, you did this?" In that case, Harry wouldn't have been right, because it was only a coincidence that she was here now. That didn't count.
"Yes."
"Great! How can I help?"
"It's complic-" the lady began, but they were cut off by several shrieks coming from the door across the room. Then what looked like the head of a similarly simplistically drawn dog came through the door, but the rest of the body didn't follow... or rather, it did follow but there seemed to just be more body by the second, and no legs, or was his body already this long, but then how was it moving? This was just bizarre.
"Jake! What are you doing? Go back to the dungeon, immediately."
"Come on, PB," the dog said, "this is stupid. You know I'm not a traitor, I've known you for years!"
"Go back to the dungeon, or I will use this potion to banish you." The pink lady picked up a flask from the desk she was standing at. "Remember that you aren't actually the real you, and all of this is just a miniature world that could be on the inside of someone's fingernail, for all we know Your actual size might be less than a centimeter. If I throw this at you, it's possible if not likely that you-"
"Come on! Listen to yourself. You've gotten some real crazy ideas into your head. Come on, give me that." It stretched forward. Without hesitation, the pink lady took the flask and threw it at his approaching head, whereupon it broke immediately. A moment later, he was gone.
"This confirms my theory that we are indeed living in a miniature universe ostensibly identical to the real one." She gave the puddle on the floor a frown. "That's what you get for disrespecting SCIENCE!"