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[StrongRhino]

I mean, things like upgrading a princess into a poor house, like, what the heck dude? Really?
There must be a billion of these.
Can you guys think of any more?

[sudgy]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

[NoMoreFun]

Being Swindled into thinking that your loyal Squire had turned into an Estate, but later finding that it grew up to be a Pirate Ship.

[NoMoreFun]

An Urchin was once weak, but learned the ropes and was trained to be a powerful Mercenary by a Bureaucrat

[mail-mi]

Cursing at the poorhouses...

...using remake.

[Just a Rube]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Nobles as well. I rebuild a duchy...into a pack of spoiled aristocrats.

[mail-mi]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Nobles as well. I rebuild a duchy...into a pack of spoiled aristocrats.

Well, my nobles trashed my great hall when I rebuilt it. Rude.

[sudgy]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Nobles as well. I rebuild a duchy...into a pack of spoiled aristocrats.

Well, my nobles trashed my great hall when I rebuilt it. Rude.

Another weird Harem one, rebuilding a great hall into a harem?

[markusin]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Nobles as well. I rebuild a duchy...into a pack of spoiled aristocrats.

The Nobles get hit by a Saboteur, and you're left with an Island.

Also, you can do something about your rat problem by getting a death cart.

[sudgy]

Also, you can do something about your rat problem by getting a death cart.

Ooh, I like that one.

[Just a Rube]

Smugglers also has some weirdness (how do you smuggle a remodel or a duchy)?

But my favorite is that building a highway lets them smuggle an entire king's court. I guess border patrols aren't what they used to be.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Your Conspirators will do better if you give them a Scheme. If your neighbor raises a Militia better build a Library- after all, the pen is mightier than the sword!

In the vein of Harem interactions being weird, it makes a little sense that the Thief can get all those women to follow him, but how the hell does he make off with an entire Quarry?

[dondon151]

Also, you can do something about your rat problem by getting a death cart.

I don't think that this is weird so much as the Rats/Death Cart synergy is intended. I really like it, too.

[RTT]

A funny antisynergy with counterfeit+spoils and bank =) The Bank just counts real money

[Awaclus]

Bank likes Beggars.

[RTT]

Bank likes Beggars.

And they offer them high interest credits. (i mean you are going to have 3 more coppers in your deck that should hurt you.

and a garden full of beggars isnt quite fun but effective.

[brokoli]

Hermit + Market square. When hermits become madmen, suddenly the population buys lot of food (they probably fear a madmen invasion), the sales increase : you gain a bunch of gold.

[Just a Rube]

Ambassadors are perfectly willing to give away estates as bribes, but they have standards. If the estate has been overgrown, or is reduced to a mere hovel, they refuse to redistribute it.

+2 action cards represent gatherings of people (nobles, villages, bandit camps).
As such, a necropolis must represent a gathering of zombies.

[AJD]

+2 action cards represent gatherings of people (nobles, villages, bandit camps).
As such, a necropolis must represent a gathering of zombies.

...And Wandering Minstrel has collected all the children in town...

[Witherweaver]

You spend a bunch of Silver to mine for better things.  You're workers are weary, almost giving up.  Then, suddenly, they strike...

A bunch of women.


Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

I think the point of Harem is that you own the Harem (or receive a cut), so it's a source of income as well as property.  So you essentially invest your silver into it.

[PSGarak]

In practice, I don't think holing up in your castle behind a moat is an effective way to prevent bureaucratic delays.

Repeatedly rebuilding a property into an indistinguishable version of the same property sounds like a money pit, but if you do it with Feodums you somehow end up with a giant pile of silver. I feel like there must be some sort of tax-evasion/kickback scheme going on with a mafia-controlled construction company.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Repeatedly rebuilding a property into an indistinguishable version of the same property sounds like a money pit, but if you do it with Feodums you somehow end up with a giant pile of silver. I feel like there must be some sort of tax-evasion/kickback scheme going on with a mafia-controlled construction company.

Well it is the Dark Ages...

[Just a Rube]

Advisor: Milord, our enemy has sent a fortune teller to bring us bad tidings
King: To my secret chamber!
Advisor: Oh... good thinking; we'll hide there while your harem "distracts" her.
King: No, the secret chamber is where I keep my moat.
Advisor: What?
King: Don't worry, I'll put it back when I'm done with it.

Also, for Monty Python fans, note that if you have a witch, you can build a bridge out of her (with the help of a remodel).

[Titandrake]

My favorite by far is that you can Smuggle cards under an Embargo and won't suffer any loss.

[Nic]

and a garden full of beggars isnt quite fun but effective.

Well, if gardens are the analogue of public parks, every well-run kingdom will want to fill them with beggars.

No wait . . . I'm thinking of Eugene, Oregon.

[markusin]

A knight sought to destroy the catacombs, but instead it became an oasis. Who knew?

[eHalcyon]

A group of awkward, scruffy looking men are among the best performance artists in the world, able to convincingly mimic such things as Bridges, Lighthouses, Pirate Ships, Young Witches, Sea Hags, and even entire Villages!

Sometimes they can also portray a Knight, but only one who is a shopaholic.

[Just a Rube]

Native villages have surprisingly developed systems of infrastructure. In particular, they often hold more bridges than the rest of the kingdom together.

[papaHav]

A tactician with a scheme places very strategic outposts =]

[Archetype]

I don't know how the heck you could make an entire Island in a Workshop.

Besides the time I called the toll-free 'buy precious metals now' advertisement on TV, playing Dominion is the only time I've bought Gold for double it's actual value.

[Nic]

My favorite by far is that you can Smuggle cards under an Embargo and won't suffer any loss.

I always thought the best one was bequeathing your estates to the bishop. They're no longer yours, but the priest puts in a good word with the big guy upstairs, and you store up treasures in heaven. It almost makes me sad that the other +VP cards weren't named Cathedral and Simonist, just to continue the theme.

[buggy]

I enjoy riding down the Highway until it stops at a Bridge.

[shMerker]

In addition to diplomacy, music, and alchemy you can apparently study theft and black magic at the University.

If you hide your Gold on an Island you will never be able to get it back no matter how many Treasure Maps you have.

[GendoIkari]

If you hide your Gold on an Island you will never be able to get it back no matter how many Treasure Maps you have.

But if you just sit around and wait long enough, you'll automatically get it back... (at game end).

[sudgy]

If you hide your Gold on an Island you will never be able to get it back no matter how many Treasure Maps you have.

You will find new gold, however.

[shMerker]

The Beggar is so good at what he does that he can even get money from Pirates, Thieves, and Cutpurses.

[ChocophileBenj]

As already said, Bank loves beggars, but Poor house also hates them.

Torturers can be so nasty, sometimes when you suffer from them even Mountebank's poison doesn't affect you anymore.
(if you take the curse in hand then discard it...)

Catching a peddler wandering somewhere is easy (especially when lots of people help you ; you may also often see one of them near worker's villages, wharves and at festivals where they have lots to sell) then denounce him to a bishop to punish him and he'll reward you very well.
You buy border villages because they have good things to bring to you, but then why don't you consider it as whole part of your deck ? "Dire law of the business, my friend, we call it trash-for-benefit !"

(not an interaction, but...)
Militia didn't want to meet other people in the council room... so they sent a margrave to represent them.

EDIT : harem joke :
A woman from the harem was upgraded... now, she works into a forge !

[Julle]

If you first send your Scout to explore the surroundings, you'll usually have a better idea which way to go at Crossroads.

[Synthesizer]

First, you donate money and Estates to the church in the Chapel, in the hopes of being blessed with a highly productive populace. After a while though, it becomes eerily clear that the dominant religion in Dominion-Land definitely isn't catholicism; when the Chancellor, Baron and Coppersmith wander into the Chapel, only to disappear forever...

[gman314]

As already said, Bank loves beggars, but Poor house also hates them.

Actually, the Poor House has no problem with beggars until they've been on the street for a while.

[RTT]

A Swindler can only swindle you coppers. he should be called noble swindler cause if he wants to swindle a gold he gives it back to you or in exchange a whole Bodervillage with a city nearby.

[eHalcyon]

A Swindler can only swindle you coppers. he should be called noble swindler cause if he wants to swindle a gold he gives it back to you or in exchange a whole Bodervillage with a city nearby.

Nah, he burdens you with some misguided Adventurers.

[RTT]

if an Adventurer finds 2 Adventures on his Adenture. Whats next?. Hopefully not a fools gold on the end of the rainbow.

[shMerker]

Actually if the adventurer finds only Fool's Gold then he's doing a pretty good job.

[Asper]

I think that a Hunting Party charging through a Tunnel would look somewhat weird.
Also you shouldn't wonder why your economy goes south if you have Beggars leading your King's Court...

[sudgy]

You realize that your Province is bagging you down, so you give it to the Bishop for greater rewards.  But then you miss it and buy another one...

[gman314]

I think that a Hunting Party charging through a Tunnel would look somewhat weird.

Depends on what they're hunting.

[Qvist]

If a Poor House is out of money coins, but has a Throne Room in it, it can suddenly afford a whole Province.

[NoMoreFun]

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=3857.msg79541

[NoMoreFun]

If a Knight tries to attack your Fortress, that Fortress is ready to respond immediately.

But send a Knight to the Hunting Grounds, and there won't be anything left to hunt.

Too many bones in your Catacombs? A Knight will give your Tunnel such a good cleaning you could even use it for your Throne Room.

If a Knight trashes Rats for you, it's just as good as playing a Laboratory.
They are even pioneers in scientific research!

But a Knight knows he can't force a Squire to become a Knight himself; that Squire must find his own path.

[markusin]

One of the nice things about having provinces is that you can get explorers to search your land and they'll find gold for you. The same can't be said for colonies. I guess, they're not up to the challenge.

[Just a Rube]

A throne room improves a bridge, but not a princess.

Knights are known for their chivalry. If two knights fight, they both die. But if a knight is attacked and has, say, a wandering minstrel with him, he can run away and sacrifice the minstrel instead; that way both knights survive. Perhaps this dishonorable behavior is how Sir Vander ended up with a bounty on his head.

You can't use a scrying pool to spy on someone with a lighthouse. If you try, I assume you are "blinded by the light."

[Julle]

First, you donate money and Estates to the church in the Chapel, in the hopes of being blessed with a highly productive populace. After a while though, it becomes eerily clear that the dominant religion in Dominion-Land definitely isn't catholicism; when the Chancellor, Baron and Coppersmith wander into the Chapel, only to disappear forever...

At least they are properly buried there because the local Graverobbers can easily find them*.

(*unless there's a bridge or a highway built on the graveyards)

[SCSN]

Despite its presumed perceptiveness, Watchtower considers King's Court and Throne Room as exactly the same card.

[ChocophileBenj]

A junk dealer walked into a fortress...
A cultist met an apprentice...
...but they were just thought of as just some peddler.

[mail-mi]

Despite its presumed perceptiveness, Watchtower considers King's Court and Throne Room as exactly the same card.

And even then not worth much anyway.

[Asper]

I think that a Hunting Party charging through a Tunnel would look somewhat weird.

Depends on what they're hunting.

Gold, probably. Inanimate objects are easiest to catch. After all, it's dark as hell down there, and the Hounds keep running in walls.

[Markov Chain]

Despite its presumed perceptiveness, Watchtower considers King's Court and Throne Room as exactly the same card.

Not quite.  If you play Throne Room with Watchtower the only action in hand (say because a Golem led you to the Throne Room), you must climb the Watchtower.  King's Court is optional, so you can decide not to play the Watchtower and top-deck whatever you buy that turn.

[Just a Rube]

A great king decided to hold a masked ball at his court. Sadly, a couple of uncultured goons snuck in and trashed everything.

When marauders attack a kingdom, they leave ruin and desolation behind them. Countless depressed survivors are left devastated as their homes and villages are destroyed. For that reason, a good, wise king may invest in espionage, whether in the form of spies, oracles or scrying pools, in order to predict and ameliorate their attacks. An evil king,  on the other hand, will invest heavily in vineyards, to profit from the sudden demand for cheap booze.

[StrongRhino]

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=3857.msg79541

More Sage jokes!

Sage skips the estate, but goes to the Nomad Camp-He prefers roaming to settling down.
Sage skips the Vineyards-#sober4life

[Julle]

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=3857.msg79541

...
Sage skips the Vineyards-#sober4life

So that's why Donald put Gardens to Base set, instead of Vineyards.

Vineyard: This was originally in the main set! And Gardens was in Alchemy (with the costs switched)

[Just a Rube]

And to continue the alcohol jokes:

What is one of the best enablers for vineyards? University.

[markusin]

"...During this time in history, the land was suffering from many curses and the kingdom was overrun with rats. As a result, the cities became very prosperous".

[Warfreak2]

"...During this time in history, the land was suffering from many curses and the kingdom was overrun with rats. As a result, the cities became very prosperous".

But the end times were fast approaching.

[Just a Rube]

A haven is big enough to hide a merchant ship, or even an entire province, but can only fit half of a treasure map.

And speaking of treasure maps, trying to read one and failing is frustrating enough to cause you to burn it. You get so excited, sitting in your throne room pouring over it, that you eventually knock over a lantern and light it on fire. But really, you should have known better than to trust a map from that shady guy at the Black Market.

But hey, it could be worse: your neighbor was so excited to buy a piece of gold at the Black Market, that he didn't notice it was only iron pyrite. Fool me once...

Meanwhile, you both shake your fist at the guy who found a copy of "Tournament Planning For Dummies"; now all the cool Followers and Princesses come to his parties.

[Julle]

Conspirators really love schemes, but in most situations one is not enough. They do need the plan B to be really effective.

[qmech]

What is one of the best enablers for vineyards? University.

There is a default bot in Geronimoo's simulator called Drunk Marine Students: University/Wharf/Vineyard.

[Just a Rube]

Well, it's not easy for us Border Patrol Agents here in the Watchtower.

You wouldn't believe the crazy things people try to sneak into the country. Just the other day, there was this guy, pretty obviously a thief, who claimed he'd "found" a valuable cache, with lots of gold and copper, in the neighboring kingdom. Well, I told him he could keep the gold, but we had to impound the copper. Potentially infested with the Western Copper Aphid, a dangerous species don't you know. Well he tried to argue, but we just told him to dispose of it in the conveniently located trash receptacle. Ditto with those goons the other day, with a huge load of copper that they'd just bought; I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

There's also that crazy witch across the border, who keeps trying to ship cursed artifacts into the kingdom. I must have told her a thousand times "You're in violation of the International Convention on Magical Item Trafficking," but she won't stop.

And don't get me started about that obnoxious ambassador, seems like he's always trying to bring an entire estate with him. I tell him "I don't care what your title is, we treat everyone the same" and then secretly impound all his stuff and deny his servants visas.

Everyone entering the country has to fill out an entry form for visas. I can't count the number of would-be marauders checking off the box for Purpose of Visit: "Reducing your villages to ruins." Well, needless to say, those guys get denied visas and kicked out. We're not heartless though, they each get a packet of souvenir candy from the desk bowl. They may be spoilt though, we haven't cleaned it out since Halloween.

Of course, it's not all about preventing people from smuggling things into the country. Occasionally we receive priority shipments that HQ tells us to send strait to the King's Inbox. And we do.

So I hope, next time you invest some copper with your local spice merchant, you remember the brave men and women here at the Watchtower. We're keeping your coppers free of aphids and your villages unruined.

[Julle]

Well, it's not easy for us Border Patrol Agents here in the Watchtower.

You wouldn't believe the crazy things people try to sneak into the country. Just the other day, there was this guy, pretty obviously a thief, who claimed he'd "found" a valuable cache, with lots of gold and copper, in the neighboring kingdom. Well, I told him he could keep the gold, but we had to impound the copper. Potentially infested with the Western Copper Aphid, a dangerous species don't you know. Well he tried to argue, but we just told him to dispose of it in the conveniently located trash receptacle. Ditto with those goons the other day, with a huge load of copper that they'd just bought; I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

There's also that crazy witch across the border, who keeps trying to ship cursed artifacts into the kingdom. I must have told her a thousand times "You're in violation of the International Convention on Magical Item Trafficking," but she won't stop.

And don't get me started about that obnoxious ambassador, seems like he's always trying to bring an entire estate with him. I tell him "I don't care what your title is, we treat everyone the same" and then secretly impound all his stuff and deny his servants visas.

Everyone entering the country has to fill out an entry form for visas. I can't count the number of would-be marauders checking off the box for Purpose of Visit: "Reducing your villages to ruins." Well, needless to say, those guys get denied visas and kicked out. We're not heartless though, they each get a packet of souvenir candy from the desk bowl. They may be spoilt though, we haven't cleaned it out since Halloween.

Of course, it's not all about preventing people from smuggling things into the country. Occasionally we receive priority shipments that HQ tells us to send strait to the King's Inbox. And we do.

So I hope, next time you invest some copper with your local spice merchant, you remember the brave men and women here at the Watchtower. We're keeping your coppers free of aphids and your villages unruined.

A letter From the King.

16 April 1563
My Dear Fellow Watchmen:

I must say I really approve your work there at Watchtower. Countless times you have re-directed lots of goods that my Smugglers, Thieves and Universities have produced, to my court. You can't imagine how long it used to take to get that little workshop to work before.  Also, I thank you for training the squires, I sent to you, so quickly into Knights, Thieves, Spies or even Scrying pools! I don't know how you manage to do that, but keep up the good work!

However, I also have some bad news to you. Firstly, last night a thief from our rival kingdom broke in to my castle and stole my entire Harem! I can't believe you didn't even notice him. I mean, there was nothing you could do, when they also stole my Talisman last week, but the whole Harem! My miners spend whole day to build that from the old Quarry.

Secondly, I don't understand why do you refuse to work harder when I'm in a hurry. My loyal Witches, Foragers, Golems work thrice as much when I command them, even the poor Scout at least tries his best.

Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood.

[A Drowned Kernel]

The prizes for the local tournament include the hand of a beautiful Princess, a never-ending bag of gold, and a crowd of loyal followers.

But for some reason everyone goes for the damn horse.

[mail-mi]

The prizes for the local tournament include the hand of a beautiful Princess, a never-ending bag of gold, and a crowd of loyal followers.

But for some reason everyone goes for the damn horse.

Don't forget the crown itself which is always left behind.

[brokoli]

Butcher like rats. Rat meat for everyone !

[Katran]

Butcher like rats. Rat meat for everyone !

I had a bot game earlier where I butchered many rats into feasts, and made money off the deal. Suckers.

[Warfreak2]

Butcher and Baker together make rat pies.

[Qvist]

Butcher like rats. Rat meat for everyone !

Let's butcher Rats into a Harem. Ugh, disgusting.

[Just a Rube]

The bishop is attempting to raise funds for his new cathedral:

Monarch 1: Your Grace, I will donate this province to you, so you may have land to support your new cathedral.
Bishop: Your generosity is appreciated. I will give you a plaque by the altar.
Monarch 2: Your Grace, here is Gold for the costs of construction.
Bishop: Your generosity is appreciated. I will give you a plaque in the nave.
Monarch 3: Your Grace, here is a fortress, to show my devotion.
Bishop: Ehhh...I'm not sure what to do with it; you can keep it. But I'll give you a plaque in the narthex anyway.
Monarch 4: We found a Young Witch. What shall we do with her?
Bishop: BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH! Here, I'll give you a plaque in the narthex for your devotion.

Monarch 5: Your Grace, here is copper for the costs of construction.
Bishop: Copper? Does this look like a poorhouse? I guess I can give you a plaque in the bathroom, but that's it.
Monarch 5: I'm sorry, Your Grace, but the hordes...
Bishop (ears perking): Hoards? I can take Hoards! That's as good as gold for me!
Monarch 5: No, H-O-R-D-E-S, hordes of Rats have devoured everything else.
Bishop: Rats, eh? You know, I've always been partial to the Nutcracker...

[AJD]

=
+

[Witherweaver]

Someone probably did this already, but:

"Lo, Scout!  Welcome back to the kingdom.  What new lands have you found for me?"
"Well, I found this chick wandering around.  Says she's a knight.  Calls herself Josie.  She likes to go around and tear other people's stuff up."
"Oh, um, well.. erm.. thanks."
"I also found this Harem."
"Sweet!"

[NoMoreFun]

Thief: Here you go sir, some spare money I found lying around   
Beggar: I want no part of your crimes, take that silver back Thief!
Thief: Fine... Hey I gave you 2 silvers!
Beggar: Everyone knows you only steal one treasure at a time.

Mountebank: You poor thing, have 3 coins
Beggar: Wow, 2 of them are Silver! Usually it's just 3 copper coins. I have a feeling my good luck has only just begun.

Knight: I weep for you sir. The least I could do is bestow you this silver.
Beggar: Thank you very much... hey this is just trash!
Knight: Good day!
Beggar: Every... single... time...

[NoMoreFun]

"Wow, this really is a Masterpiece! Such a kind fellow, and people call him a Swindler..."

[brokoli]

Stonemason - by only stone and some coins, he can basically create everything twice.
Candlestick maker - A very good business in the dominion world : if you have a bunch of them the kingdom will light up and you'll gain lot of money.

[PSGarak]

Smugglers are quite experienced at sneaking things in past customs. They usually carry mountains of treasure, but they're good enough at evading the border patrol that they can relocate entire villages overnight. In fact, they're so sneaky, that the thing stopping them from bringing in bigger goods isn't the stealth, but the physical act of carrying the damn things. But then we built a few bridges over that river, and a highway, for trade. Next thing we know, those guys show up on our doorstep out of breath, with an entire overseas colony slung over their back. "It fell off a truck." Right.

They won't touch any alchemical goods, though. Too prone to explosions.

[Witherweaver]

Stonemason - by only stone and some coins, he can basically create everything twice.
Candlestick maker - A very good business in the dominion world : if you have a bunch of them the kingdom will light up and you'll gain lot of money.

Dude, Stonemason is MacGyver!

[florrat]

All cities start out small as villages... If you remodel heavily that is 

[Just a Rube]

Minister: Sir, we have a critical shortage of hard currency. We'll have to buy some more.

King: What happened to it?

Minister: We melted it all down at the Mint to turn it into Fool's Gold.

King: Can't we at least use the Fool's Gold? It's got to be worth something!

Minister: Remember when our neighbor "acquired" that last Province?

King: Yeah, I had no idea that the Postal Service had a hard limit on the number of Province abbreviations they would  recognize! Otherwise I would never have let him rename it and call it a "Remodeling Project".

Minister: Quite. I took the liberty of trading all our old Fool's Gold for real Gold in the confusion.

King: Then we should be set, right?

Minister: Unfortunately, our rival hired the out-of-work postal employees as "Noble Brigands"

[Tables]

Moneylenders are great and all, but they can sure get frustrating with all their constantly turning up and moping around after they've done a lot of work. Fortunately, there's some great solutions to this problem:

1) Ask the Bishop to take them off your hands. I don't even know how this makes sense, but the Bishop is pretty happy for your contribution.
2) Alternatively, just dump him in the Chapel and well, whatever happens, happens. You won't see that Moneylender again. Ever. Look, don't ask, okay?
3) Retraining him can be a good idea. He's got the skills needed that he can upgrade to a Rogue or a Mountebank, pretty easily.
4) Or if you prefer to work on his more honest characteristics, consider instead giving him a makeover and remake him into a Duke, or a Count.
5) Just be careful not to Develop him. We're not quite sure how it happened, but last time we told a Moneylender we were going to Develop him, we ended up burdened with a Loan and his Ill Gotten Gains.
6) Send him to work on the farm. You should get some gold out of it, or possibly more.
7) If all else fails, there's something you can do which... uh... well, Moneylenders have certain qualities that make them... uh, operate well in a certain condition which as ruler of the kingdom you can do but... uh... look, just send him to the Butcher, ask for a Feast, don't ask questions, okay? The Feast will even earn you some money. I suggest bringing a packed lunch.

[Warfreak2]

1) Bishop
2) Chapel

I don't think Moneylending is permitted in Church, I think it's even in the Bible. He would be told to go away and never return.

[Julle]

1) Bishop
2) Chapel

I don't think Moneylending is permitted in Church, I think it's even in the Bible. He would be told to go away and never return.

Maybe he confess his sins and starts to work there for good.

[Davio]

1) Bishop
2) Chapel

I don't think Moneylending is permitted in Church, I think it's even in the Bible. He would be told to go away and never return.

Well, I think it's allowed as long as you don't charge interest.

[Warfreak2]

It seems unlikely that a Moneylender could be Prosperous if he didn't keep at least some Copper for himself. In fact, he's something of a shark, targeting the Poor House with his business.

[Just a Rube]

Interesting thought: none of those cards can tell the difference between Moneylenders and Rats. Talk about shady...

Also, I gave the Black Market some grief earlier, but they're the only guys socially responsible enough to spay or neuter their Rats.

[Eran of Arcadia]

Quarries seem to make Stonemasons a lot more powerful.

[shMerker]

Scout is even bad at his job thematically. Sure he can help you navigate your Provinces and Colonies more quickly, but he works best helping you get around your own castle, finding your Harems and Nobles and leading you through your Great Halls.

Then again at sea no one else is better at spotting uncharted Islands and hidden Tunnels full of gold.

A Swindler can make trick you into trading your experienced Journeyman for a lowly Apprentice.

[Awaclus]

Scout is even bad at his job thematically. Sure he can help you navigate your Provinces and Colonies more quickly, but he works best helping you get around your own castle, finding your Harems and Nobles and leading you through your Great Halls.

Well, what would you rather do, find Provinces or find Harems?

[florrat]

Then again at sea no one else is better at spotting uncharted Islands and hidden Tunnels full of gold.

My scouts are doing something wrong. They've never found gold in Tunnels even once for me, only empty; barren tunnels. Unless I build a cellar in them of course. My Cartographers are much more successfully finding gold in tunnels.

[Warfreak2]

only empty; barren tunnels.

No, Baron discards Estates.

[A Drowned Kernel]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

[Awaclus]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Mountebank."

This is basically what we have here in my village, though I'm not really living close to the borders, but at least I'm living far from the capital.

[Witherweaver]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Mountebank."

This is basically what we have here in my village, though I'm not really living close to the borders, but at least I'm living far from the capital.

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

[mail-mi]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Mountebank."

This is basically what we have here in my village, though I'm not really living close to the borders, but at least I'm living far from the capital.

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint...

...a Governor."

[Tables]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Mountebank."

This is basically what we have here in my village, though I'm not really living close to the borders, but at least I'm living far from the capital.

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint...

...a Governor."

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Haggler. Actually, we already have three Hagglers here. Better appoint four Hagglers, then."

[markusin]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Splendid! This calls for a tribute."

[Just a Rube]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."

"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. We could choose a Margrave, a Governor..."

"How about a rag-tag Band of Misfits? They'll start arguing all the time, but eventually they'll learn to overcome their differences and work together as a team. It'll be the heart-warming comedy of the year!"

[eHalcyon]

Border Village yadda yadda...

"...and the Merchant Ship shall be their leader."

"Your majesty, do you mean to appoint the captain?"

"No, the ship.  It is a fine and worthy vessel."

"..."

[StrongRhino]

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint...
"A Treasure Map?"
"No, they're too unreliable, lets appoint a Vault instead."

[Synthesizer]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

"Oh no, this will turn into a Rabble...."

--------------

"Don't worry, I'll send my Minion"

--------------

"Well, too bad for the people there, I then only have this Torturer available"

--------------

(I think this one has run its course. Thing is, I'm not a funny guy, so I have no replacement available, anybody?)

[shMerker]

Even though you can get a lot of extras thrown in when you pay extra for a Masterpiece, the Hagglers, Traders, and Swindlers all know it's only worth $3 and that if they're willing to travel a few towns over (You just take the Highway that crosses two Bridges) they can get one for free. You could even get a Hermit to make one for you.

[Powerman]

I like developing a Duke of Mine into a Harem and an Island.  Next turn, I exile her to the Island.

[shMerker]

Trading a Bag of Gold for a Poor House is considered an Upgrade.

[KingZog3]

Hmmm, I think I need an Advisor to help me make decisions. I better appoint my sworn enemy in the rival kingdom!

[PSGarak]

Herald: A messenger from a neighboring kingdom wishes an audience!

King: Let him in, but please introduce him.

Herald: Your majesty, Bob... the Herald! *toots trumpet*

Herald 2: Your majesty, I bring news!

King: And what news is this?

Herald 2: A messenger from a different foreign land has come and wishes an audience!

King: A different one? Who would that be?

Herald 2: Your majesty, Rob... the Herald! *tootle*

King: Hello Rob.

Herald 3: Your majesty, I bring news of a messenger approaching!

King: You don't say.

Herald 3: Sirs, Job... the Herald! *tootle*

King: ...

Herald 4: Your Majesty, I bring news!

King: Get on with it.

Herald 4: Oh wait that's not a message. It's change for the bus back. My bad.

King: Sigh....

Herald 4: *tootle*

[JacquesTheBard]

For fans of The Incredibles:

Sir Destry steps out of the Border Village where he lives and gets on his horse, ready to save the day once again for his Kingdom. But on a smaller saddle on the back, some whiny kid is sitting.

Kid: Cool, ready for takeoff!

Sir Destry: What the...? Who are you supposed to be?

Kid: Well, I'm Destry-lad.

Destry: What? No, you're that kid from the fan club. [Stammering] Squeeky, Squirrely, Squire! Squire!

Squire: My name. Is Destry-lad.

Destry: Look, I've been nice. I stood for portraits, signed every scrap of parchment you've pushed at me, but this...

Squire: Oh no, you don't have to worry about training me! I know your moves, your drawing, your trashing, everything! I am your number one fan!

[Gets kicked off horse]

Years later, the Rogue in front of Sir Destry looks somewhat familiar.

[AJD]

...But a knight can't trash a squire.

[JacquesTheBard]

...But a knight can't trash a squire.

Disappointment can, my friend. Besides, Mr. Incredible is a guy. Dame Anna just doesn't work.
Almost considered Dame Sylvia, due to Rogue parallels.
And Elastigirl is Dame Molly. Flexible=works well with other heroes=+actions.

[mail-mi]

Violet=Sir Bailey. It's almost like he wasn't ever in your hand!

[StrongRhino]

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=3857.msg79541

More Sage jokes!

Sage skips Stonemason, but stops at the Ironmonger- He is out of the Stone Age, they build with iron now.

This makes me wish there was a "steel" card. Then I could say he is the "Man of Steel"

[Asper]

Sage doesn't fall for Fool's Gold.

[KingZog3]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

[Awaclus]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy. 

[gman314]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

[WanderingWinder]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

[WanderingWinder]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

Right, but it still doesn't make thematic sense.

[WanderingWinder]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

Right, but it still doesn't make thematic sense.

Sure it does - you use your advanced knowledge of the future to stop it from happening for a while.

[Just a Rube]

The important thing about mystic is that even if she guesses wrong, she still provides money.

Clearly, all calls to the Mystic Hotline are non-refundable.

[() | (_) ^/]

For fans of The Incredibles:
...

There are no fans of the Incredibles on this forum.

Stop that, I don't want you to look at my avatar.

[Schneau]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

Right, but it still doesn't make thematic sense.

Sure it does - you use your advanced knowledge of the future to stop it from happening for a while.

() | (_) ^/ upvoted every post in this quote chain.

[StrongRhino]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

Right, but it still doesn't make thematic sense.

Sure it does - you use your advanced knowledge of the future to stop it from happening for a while.

() | (_) ^/ upvoted every post in this quote chain.

Well () | (_) ^/ has up voted more posts than anyone else on this forum.

[awildnoobappeared]

The actual worth of a Masterpiece is proportional to the amount that you paid for it.

[() | (_) ^/]

...

() | (_) ^/ upvoted every post in this quote chain.

Reread that thing!  It was just oh so fun to read! So of course I upvoted them... each one added another small moment of happiness to my day.

[() | (_) ^/]

...

() | (_) ^/ upvoted every post in this quote chain.

Well () | (_) ^/ has up voted more posts than anyone else on this forum.

Mama always told me be a lover not a stingy-non-upvoting-punk.

... maybe I got that quote wrong... can't remember exactly, but it was something along those lines. 

[Warfreak2]

Mama always told me be careful who you love, be careful what you do, because a lie becomes the truth

[Synthesizer]

Mama always told me be careful who you love, be careful what who you do, because a lie becomes the truth

FTFY

[Sidsel]

The guy who copies money, must have friends in the cloning business - they can Mint Harems!

[StrongRhino]

The guy who copies money, must have friends in the cloning business - they can Mint Harems!

Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

[Asper]

The guy who copies money, must have friends in the cloning business - they can Mint Harems!

Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Making women (or people in general) a currency is weird to start with.

[Warfreak2]

Not to mention, making ownership of women part of the victory condition.

[() | (_) ^/]

The guy who copies money, must have friends in the cloning business - they can Mint Harems!

Almost any card's interaction with Harem is weird.

Making women (or people in general) a currency is weird to start with.

Not historically. 

[Warfreak2]

Historical accuracy, down to the gritty details, in Dominion? You don't think that's weird? :-p

[Just a Rube]

Historical accuracy, down to the gritty details, in Dominion? You don't think that's weird? :-p

I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to have see my Ironworks about making me some Silver.

[dondon151]

Making women (or people in general) a currency is weird to start with.

Slaves!

[Synthesizer]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to have see my Ironworks about making me some Silver.

Yet, for some inexplicable reason, Ironworks is not in Alchemy.

[ConMan]

The zoos are at their most popular just after the invading army has come and wrecked it all (Menageries are great against Militia).

[dondon151]

I guess people just like small zoos!

[ConMan]

I guess people just like small zoos!

They like zoos that have exactly one of each animal, regardless of how big the zoo is. So a zoo filled with a thousand elephants is actually less impressive than one with a single Rat.

[dondon151]

On the other hand, they just can't get enough of humans decked out in armor!

[thespaceinvader]

My favourite, I think, is still being able to sacrifice minions to a torturer, as long as you can keep one of them around to bail you out of trouble and come back with a posse.

Minion/torturer is fun.

[A Drowned Kernel]

The knights will strike down a witch, young or old. They'll cross blades with a common marauder or a noble margrave. They'll single-handedly take down a squad of goons, an entire militia, or even a whole ship full of pirates.

They won't go after the mercenary, though. He's just that badass.

[dondon151]

Vagrants are below their pay grade, but those poor Scouts...

[Just a Rube]

They only hit the leaders; Followers are safe.

And of course, no true knight would dare harm a Princess.

[markusin]

The seer of the scrying pool had a rough day. The visions of her own kingdom were obscured by images of incoming treasure.

As the visions started approaching the neighboring kingdom, she noticed a group of horse traders and was distraught when she realized that they knew they were being watched, fleeing as quickly as they could. Almost immediately after she started wrapping her head around how they could have known such a think, she saw a poor beggar. She felt so bad for him, that she sent her messengers to bring the beggar some treasure. When she finally tried focusing on the castle of the rival kingdom, the castle's moat blurred her focus too much for her to know what actions could be taken to slow them down.

She doesn't know the full story though. That beggar was hired by the rival king to panhandle for him. To top it all off, the horse traders that had fled town bumped into the messengers bringing the treasure to the beggar and lent some of their horses to help carry the treasure even faster.

[shMerker]

In the kingdom with the Horse Traders she also saw a tunnel full of gold, and decided to let it be for fear of enriching her enemy. It was for naught though as the Horse Traders found it shortly thereafter.

[Just a Rube]

Herald: My lord, the Adventurer we dispatched has returned.

Adventurer: Great King, I have traveled through distance Provinces, across the Silk Road. I stowed away on a Merchant Ship, then found some Smugglers at a Black Market to help me dodge an Embargo. I outwitted cunning Rogues, villainous Swindlers and a subtle Spy. I outfought Marauders, and avoided the Curses of a malevolent Witch. I and a ragtag Band of Misfits infiltrated a King's Court to thwart the vile Schemes of an evil Chancellor and his Conspirators. I hid in a Death Cart, to hide from their hired Goons, and faked my death with the help of a friendly Graverobber. I then defeated Knights and Squires alike at the royal Tournament, in order to present the Princess with evidence of his treason. I then fled the country, pursued by that treacherous Advisor's Minions, and accompanied only by my Trusty Steed. There, amid Ruined Villages and Abandoned Mines, I found the untouched remains of a Native Village, from which I acquired these two veritable Masterpieces.

King: ...Masterpieces? What part of "bring me some Fool's Gold" did you not understand?

[sudgy]

Herald: My lord, the Adventurer we dispatched has returned.

Adventurer: Great King, I have traveled through distance Provinces, across the Silk Road. I stowed away on a Merchant Ship, then found some Smugglers at a Black Market to help me dodge an Embargo. I outwitted cunning Rogues, villainous Swindlers and a subtle Spy. I outfought Marauders, and avoided the Curses of a malevolent Witch. I and a ragtag Band of Misfits infiltrated a King's Court to thwart the vile Schemes of an evil Chancellor and his Conspirators. I hid in a Death Cart, to hide from their hired Goons, and faked my death with the help of a friendly Graverobber. I then defeated Knights and Squires alike at the royal Tournament, in order to present the Princess with evidence of his treason. I then fled the country, pursued by that treacherous Advisor's Minions, and accompanied only by my Trusty Steed. There, amid Ruined Villages and Abandoned Mines, I found the untouched remains of a Native Village, from which I acquired these two veritable Masterpieces.

King: ...Masterpieces? What part of "bring me some Fool's Gold" did you not understand?

...Why would someone going for Fool's Gold have Silk Roads, Merchant Ships, Smugglers, Black Markets, Embargoes, Rogues, Swindlers, Spies, Marauders, Band of Misfits, King's Courts, Scheme, Chancellor, Conspirator, Death Carts, Goons, Graverobbers, Knights, Squires, Tournaments, Advisors, Minions, Native Villages, and Masterpieces?

[Witherweaver]

When a Doctor feels he has too many competitors, he can hunt down and eliminate his competition, as long as they operate close enough to him.

A new Doctor coming into the market can bully all other Doctors out of the business entirely if he has enough capital to invest.

[gman314]

Herald: My lord, the Adventurer we dispatched has returned.

Adventurer: Great King, I have traveled through distance Provinces, across the Silk Road. I stowed away on a Merchant Ship, then found some Smugglers at a Black Market to help me dodge an Embargo. I outwitted cunning Rogues, villainous Swindlers and a subtle Spy. I outfought Marauders, and avoided the Curses of a malevolent Witch. I and a ragtag Band of Misfits infiltrated a King's Court to thwart the vile Schemes of an evil Chancellor and his Conspirators. I hid in a Death Cart, to hide from their hired Goons, and faked my death with the help of a friendly Graverobber. I then defeated Knights and Squires alike at the royal Tournament, in order to present the Princess with evidence of his treason. I then fled the country, pursued by that treacherous Advisor's Minions, and accompanied only by my Trusty Steed. There, amid Ruined Villages and Abandoned Mines, I found the untouched remains of a Native Village, from which I acquired these two veritable Masterpieces.

King: ...Masterpieces? What part of "bring me some Fool's Gold" did you not understand?

...Why would someone going for Fool's Gold have Silk Roads, Merchant Ships, Smugglers, Black Markets, Embargoes, Rogues, Swindlers, Spies, Marauders, Band of Misfits, King's Courts, Scheme, Chancellor, Conspirator, Death Carts, Goons, Graverobbers, Knights, Squires, Tournaments, Advisors, Minions, Native Villages, and Masterpieces?

Well, Smugglers can get your more FGs in a mirror, Swindler can turn FG into Estate in a mirror, Marauder gives your opponent non-FG junk (but you wouldn't want it because it hurts you too in this case), Goons would probably work reasonably well in an FG deck as a later addition, and NV might help in some sort of not-just-FG strategy. But the others... they just don't belong.

[Just a Rube]

Opponents' Swindlers can explain some of these (e.g. Masterpiece). And he was planning to build a Goons engine (he has Goons, King's Court, Scheme, Band of Misfits, and a couple villages, one of which provides +Buy), but using the Fool's Gold as a money source to kick-start it. He got the Black Market for kicks, and pulled out some good cards (e.g. the Witch and the only Tournament) by chance. Not sure how he got the Rogue, but once he does, he might as well use it to pick up things like Spy, which can never hurt his deck.

[sudgy]

Opponents' Swindlers can explain some of these (e.g. Masterpiece). And he was planning to build a Goons engine (he has Goons, King's Court, Scheme, Band of Misfits, and a couple villages, one of which provides +Buy), but using the Fool's Gold as a money source to kick-start it. He got the Black Market for kicks, and pulled out some good cards (e.g. the Witch and the only Tournament) by chance. Not sure how he got the Rogue, but once he does, he might as well use it to pick up things like Spy, which can never hurt his deck.

Well, a good $5 in the Black Market could have been swindled into the Rogue, I guess...

[Gveoniz]

Herald: My lord, the Adventurer we dispatched has returned.

Adventurer: Great King, I have traveled through distance Provinces, across the Silk Road. I stowed away on a Merchant Ship, then found some Smugglers at a Black Market to help me dodge an Embargo. I outwitted cunning Rogues, villainous Swindlers and a subtle Spy. I outfought Marauders, and avoided the Curses of a malevolent Witch. I and a ragtag Band of Misfits infiltrated a King's Court to thwart the vile Schemes of an evil Chancellor and his Conspirators. I hid in a Death Cart, to hide from their hired Goons, and faked my death with the help of a friendly Graverobber. I then defeated Knights and Squires alike at the royal Tournament, in order to present the Princess with evidence of his treason. I then fled the country, pursued by that treacherous Advisor's Minions, and accompanied only by my Trusty Steed. There, amid Ruined Villages and Abandoned Mines, I found the untouched remains of a Native Village, from which I acquired these two veritable Masterpieces.

King: ...Masterpieces? What part of "bring me some Fool's Gold" did you not understand?

...Why would someone going for Fool's Gold have Silk Roads, Merchant Ships, Smugglers, Black Markets, Embargoes, Rogues, Swindlers, Spies, Marauders, Band of Misfits, King's Courts, Scheme, Chancellor, Conspirator, Death Carts, Goons, Graverobbers, Knights, Squires, Tournaments, Advisors, Minions, Native Villages, and Masterpieces?

And Herald too.

[Fragasnap]

"My kingdom is relatively healthy thanks to the work of that Doctor I hired in the early days of my rule. Ah, but times are hard, and good work is even harder to come by, eh, Butch? What say you do me a little favor right now and we can split the gains?"

[Ace539]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

[Asper]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

I wonder if Butcher/Survivors is any better...

Edit: Or any interaction with Butcher.

[AJD]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

I wonder if Butcher/Survivors is any better...

Edit: Or any interaction with Butcher.

Butcher/Menagerie?

[Awaclus]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

I wonder if Butcher/Survivors is any better...

Edit: Or any interaction with Butcher.

Butcher/Menagerie?

Into a Feast.

[sudgy]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

I wonder if Butcher/Survivors is any better...

Edit: Or any interaction with Butcher.

Butcher/Menagerie?

Into a Feast.

Although, that usually would be a HORRIBLE idea, you could just get the $5 cost right away...

[Tables]

Doctor, naming survivors, my brother actually did this IRL, we all laughed

I wonder if Butcher/Survivors is any better...

Edit: Or any interaction with Butcher.

Butcher/Menagerie?

Into a Feast.

Although, that usually would be a HORRIBLE idea, you could just get the $5 cost right away...

Hmm, wouldn't say it's THAT usual. You might need every remaining coin to get e.g. a Province.

[Anders Gabrielsson]

So the King will let nearly anyone into his court. Not just his loyal Knights and Stewards and the odd Wandering Minstrel for entertainment, no, he welcomes in all kinds of low characters: Cultists, Smugglers, Conspirators, Torturers, Rogues, Graverobbers and Mountebanks, not to mention his own Spies, Pawns and Minions.

But who will he not let in? His Barons are almost never allowed to visit him there (or even in his auxilliary Throne Room), and a Duke will never set his fot at court - but a Duchess can come visit anytime she likes. At least he keeps his Harem out.

He will also consult Witches, Oracles and Alchemists, and may even let a Golem visit. A Golem! And the Militia is in and out there all the time.

It's no wonder he doesn't want his daughter the Princess there.

[Wrclass]

All the king's gold was stolen by pirates, but with help of a local graverobber he was able to retrieve it.

[Gveoniz]

A tournament winning knight's followers is consisted of witches, militia and barons.

                                                                                                                                             

Advisor: Your majesty, our explorers have discover a number of native villages across the ocean.
King: We should start colonization. We shall build bridges to improve the transportation infrastructure.
Advisor: But the native villages are all across the sea, we should focus on water transport...
King: No, just bridges, lots of them.

[AJD]

That's why you need a lot of bridges.

[A Drowned Kernel]

All the king's gold was stolen by pirates, but with help of a local graverobber he was able to retrieve it.

Well, they got back the silver and gold at least, but they couldn't be bothered to dig up all that copper.

[sudgy]

King: Where's my court?
Someone else: Um, we need to be quiet about that...  You can only get one at the Black Market.  By the way, here's a few Goons we got for you.

[markusin]

Moneylender: I'd like to speak with the King.
Guard: He's very busy right now, but we shall ask him if he is willing to see you right now.
*a few minutes later, in the Library*
King: Why have you interrupted my research of the land and my studies on economic theory?
Guard: My Liege, a moneylender has asked to see you.
King: Bah, send him away.

Seriously, what in the world is going on with Library thematically? Does the King go there in his spare time or something? And why does it let you skip actions? Is it a central hub for all your staff?

[Gveoniz]

just my guess:

The Library is full of knowledge, going into it can enhance the administration of the kingdom. But the capacity of the brain is limited, your king can only remember up to 7 thing if he just spent time researching in the library. The most efficient way to use the library is to lean from the books, use them in practice, then go back to the library to lean more, then put new knowledge in practice...

And when you go to the library, you can pick which book you would like to read, instead of reading through all of them.

Edit: typos

[Awaclus]

And when you go to the library, you can pick which book to would like to read, instead of reading through all of them.

But the books about treasures and victories are so good that you've got to read and re-read them every time you go there!

[Asper]

Moneylender: I'd like to speak with the King.
Guard: He's very busy right now, but we shall ask him if he is willing to see you right now.
*a few minutes later, in the Library*
King: Why have you interrupted my research of the land and my studies on economic theory?
Guard: My Liege, a moneylender has asked to see you.
King: Bah, send him away.

Seriously, what in the world is going on with Library thematically? Does the King go there in his spare time or something? And why does it let you skip actions? Is it a central hub for all your staff?

I once considered making a Smithy that can't draw Actions dead - then i noticed that's what Library is if you play it from a normal 5 card hand... So my question would be: What the heck do a Smithy, a Library and some Catacombs have in common???

I think this is what Donald meant when he said that in the early days he didn't think much about card names.

[AJD]

I once considered making a Smithy that can't draw Actions dead - then i noticed that's what Library is if you play it from a normal 5 card hand... So my question would be: What the heck do a Smithy, a Library and some Catacombs have in common???

I think this is what Donald meant when he said that in the early days he didn't think much about card names.

And, well, in general, throughout Dominion, even in later expansions, vanilla effects like +Cards and +1 Action don't tend to have any meaningful way of being reflected in card names.

[Witherweaver]

You can go to the Warehouse and get stuff (cards), but you have to put back exactly as much as you took out.  However, it need not be worth as much.

A similar principle applies to the cellar, but for some reason you put things in the Cellar before you take other things out.

[eHalcyon]

You can go to the Warehouse and get stuff (cards), but you have to put back exactly as much as you took out.  However, it need not be worth as much.

A similar principle applies to the cellar, but for some reason you put things in the Cellar before you take other things out.

But you don't put back.  You discard.

[Wrclass]

You can go to the Warehouse and get stuff (cards), but you have to put back exactly as much as you took out.  However, it need not be worth as much.

A similar principle applies to the cellar, but for some reason you put things in the Cellar before you take other things out.

But you don't put back.  You discard.

You have to take exactly 3 things out and put three things back. But you can take out an entire King's Court, a Grand Market and Village and just put back three measly coppers!

[Witherweaver]

You can go to the Warehouse and get stuff (cards), but you have to put back exactly as much as you took out.  However, it need not be worth as much.

A similar principle applies to the cellar, but for some reason you put things in the Cellar before you take other things out.

But you don't put back.  You discard.

You put it in the back of the Warehouse. (They come back to the front eventually~)

[KingZog3]

Moneylender: I'd like to speak with the King.
Guard: He's very busy right now, but we shall ask him if he is willing to see you right now.
*a few minutes later, in the Library*
King: Why have you interrupted my research of the land and my studies on economic theory?
Guard: My Liege, a moneylender has asked to see you.
King: Bah, send him away.

Seriously, what in the world is going on with Library thematically? Does the King go there in his spare time or something? And why does it let you skip actions? Is it a central hub for all your staff?

I once considered making a Smithy that can't draw Actions dead - then i noticed that's what Library is if you play it from a normal 5 card hand... So my question would be: What the heck do a Smithy, a Library and some Catacombs have in common???

I think this is what Donald meant when he said that in the early days he didn't think much about card names.

You search a Library for books, so the card "searches your deck for things other than actions. Why does it really have to make 100% sense thematically. Counterfeit gives money that doesn't exist. That's pretty close to fake money, so meh, it's good enough.

[Asper]

Moneylender: I'd like to speak with the King.
Guard: He's very busy right now, but we shall ask him if he is willing to see you right now.
*a few minutes later, in the Library*
King: Why have you interrupted my research of the land and my studies on economic theory?
Guard: My Liege, a moneylender has asked to see you.
King: Bah, send him away.

Seriously, what in the world is going on with Library thematically? Does the King go there in his spare time or something? And why does it let you skip actions? Is it a central hub for all your staff?

I once considered making a Smithy that can't draw Actions dead - then i noticed that's what Library is if you play it from a normal 5 card hand... So my question would be: What the heck do a Smithy, a Library and some Catacombs have in common???

I think this is what Donald meant when he said that in the early days he didn't think much about card names.

You search a Library for books, so the card "searches your deck for things other than actions. Why does it really have to make 100% sense thematically. Counterfeit gives money that doesn't exist. That's pretty close to fake money, so meh, it's good enough.

I'm pretty sure you misread Catacombs, which is also a Smithy variant, as Counterfeit...

Edit: Typo

[WanderingWinder]

Moneylender: I'd like to speak with the King.
Guard: He's very busy right now, but we shall ask him if he is willing to see you right now.
*a few minutes later, in the Library*
King: Why have you interrupted my research of the land and my studies on economic theory?
Guard: My Liege, a moneylender has asked to see you.
King: Bah, send him away.

Seriously, what in the world is going on with Library thematically? Does the King go there in his spare time or something? And why does it let you skip actions? Is it a central hub for all your staff?

I once considered making a Smithy that can't draw Actions dead - then i noticed that's what Library is if you play it from a normal 5 card hand... So my question would be: What the heck do a Smithy, a Library and some Catacombs have in common???

Easy: they're all examples people point to when people complaining about Dominion having no theme.

[Just a Rube]

Although, now that I think about it...

I previously determined that, since +action cards are represented by groups of people (e.g. Village), thus Necropolis must be providing groups of Zombies.

Libraries and Smithies increase your local economy, represented by letting you draw more cards.

But Zombies don't need books; they eat brains not use them. So where do you get more Zombies for your Necropolis? The Catacombs.

QED

[Asper]

But Zombies don't need books; they eat brains not use them. So where do you get more Zombies for your Necropolis? The Catacombs.

It's all so clear now! Reading in a Library is good for your brain, and Zombies love good brains. That's why Library draws an additional card for Necropolis!

[Just a Rube]

But Zombies don't need books; they eat brains not use them. So where do you get more Zombies for your Necropolis? The Catacombs.

It's all so clear now! Reading in a Library is good for your brain, and Zombies love good brains. That's why Library draws an additional card for Necropolis!

Although that brings up questions about the Lovecraftian horror that is Shanty Town. When other people (cards) are around, they act just like a Necropolis. We've already determined how disturbing that is. But when no one else is looking? They act as a super Laboratory, or even a good-sized City. What research are they conducting? Where do those extra inhabitants come from? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?



Of course, as an academic, I'm contractually forbidden to publicly speculate about the disquieting relationship between University and two related cards: Necropolis and Altar.

[mail-mi]

But Zombies don't need books; they eat brains not use them. So where do you get more Zombies for your Necropolis? The Catacombs.

It's all so clear now! Reading in a Library is good for your brain, and Zombies love good brains. That's why Library draws an additional card for Necropolis!

Although that brings up questions about the Lovecraftian horror that is Shanty Town. When other people (cards) are around, they act just like a Necropolis. We've already determined how disturbing that is. But when no one else is looking? They act as a super Laboratory, or even a good-sized City. What research are they conducting? Where do those extra inhabitants come from? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?

[Witherweaver]

Building a Moat does not keep out unwanted guests from your Masquerade ball.

[Awaclus]

Building a Moat does not keep out unwanted guests from your Masquerade ball.

http://www.online-literature.com/poe/36/

[JacquesTheBard]

And lo, in the fourth year of his majesty's reign, his copper and silver mines brought him an unprecedented windfall of 5 coins. Greatly pleased, he joins his trusted advisors (Although not the creepy bald one. What is with that guy?) to discuss the proper course of action.

King: "Well, my most excellent friends, these 5 coins may prove our path to greatness."
Harold the Herald: "Indeed, Sire. Looking throughout the landscape, I know of many great allies we may be able to purchase with this wealth."
King: "Well by all means, my boy, show them in!"

A man with a helmet and a large sword enters and kneels impressively before the throne.
Harold: "Sire, this man is the legendary Margrave. He has fought in many wars and conquered many lands. With his aid, we shall be better able to gather the resources of our kingdom. If we're lucky, he may strike our foes as well, forcing them out of their own holdings just as he strengthens our own."
King: "Astonishing! What an honor to have him at this court."
Margrave: "I do not forget the honor."
The margrave bows once more and leaves.

A new man enters, huddled in shadows. An aristocratic and eerie presence surrounds him.
Harold: (shuddering) "Majesty, this is the Count. He is a man with a reputation. They say he continues to exact his price from you even after you would have the sure loyalty of any other man. He will conceal from you things in your own court, sow graft in our bureaucracy by patronizing his copper-mining friends, or even attempt to undermine parts of the land."
Count: "Business is business, your majesty."
King: "What do you do besides this?"
Count: (with a knowing and condescending smirk) "I have a lifetime of political savvy. If need be, I can execute every member of a corrupt and decedent court like that."
The count snaps his fingers, and in another room, all the inhabitants beg for mercy.
King: "I'm unsure of this. Your price is a heavy one. With that much wealth, I could easily buy a duchy instead, expanding my lands."
The count snaps his fingers once more, and the map on the king's table transforms, to include significantly more land.
King: "But... How?  "
Count: "Everything is possible with the aid of the count, sire."
He bows, and departs.

King: "You weren't kidding, Harold. We have some of the greatest men in the kingdom at our disposal."
Harold: "That's only the beginning, sire. The brave Hunting Party can scour an entire kingdom from top to bottom to find your lost holdings in the course of a single morning. The mad and seemingly unhinged Cultist controls a vast network of like-minded allies, who will tear your foes' buildings to ruin in order to appease their heathen gods. The wicked Mountebank has ruined countless lives by devaluing the currency of countries he pretends to befriend... and today, for the first time, he is ours to purchase."
A raggedy man surrounded by flies walks into the room.
Man: "Hey, don't forget me!"
King: "Wait. Aren't you the janitor?"
Man: "Don't try my patience. I've been at the back of the line all day. Here's my offer: 5 coins, or I'm out of here."

The man picks his nose and wipes it on a tapestry while the King stares in silence.
King: "Who are you supposed to be?"
Man: "A Junk Dealer. Hey, can I buy that there copper mine?"

You have to admit, it's pretty weird that his services cost as much as they do.

[sudgy]

While I knew the punchline while reading that whole thing, it was still pretty great.

[Warfreak2]

The man picks his nose and wipes it on a tapestry while the King stares in silence.

Was expecting "so do you want me to get rid of this Masterpiece or not?"

[JacquesTheBard]

Warfreak, that's amazing. I'd replace it, but that would be plagiarism. +1, my friend.