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[Insomniac]

Waiting for qvist

[Qvist]

Sorry, yesterday I had surprisingly guests. And yes there is this timezone thingy.
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Hello all,

I wanted to introduce me, but then I noticed that my name doesn't matter.
I'm just an average guy doing my everyday work, just vegetating. But I like meat more than vegetables. Nevermind.
My friends call me a Zombie, and that's my name Rob Zombie.
You ask me what I have here? That's just a normal Sack of things I like to pick up, but there's nothing really interesting in there beside of that coin I found.
What? You want to challenge me? Well, I'm not in my best condition, well I'm never in a good condition, but I think I can beat you while juggling without breakfast.
I like to juggle with my breakfast more (Braiiiinss!) but you can't have everything in life right?

[Galzria]

Robz has been on the forums posting Dominion Videos.

But he hasn't boasted.

Fail.

[Galzria]

By the way, Qvist, you stole my character! /shakesfistsinrage

(Actually, I wasn't married to the thought of wanting him, but I did have some fun flavor for the role).

Ahh well. There's still some good options.

[Qvist]

You could still steal it from me.

[Jorbles]

yeah, just throw on a couple more boasts so no one else will steal it from you. or better yet four more. 

[Robz888]

Robz has been on the forums posting Dominion Videos.

But he hasn't boasted.

Fail.

Ooh, I really should get around to reading the rules...

[Insomniac]

Robz has been on the forums posting Dominion Videos.

But he hasn't boasted.

Fail.

Ooh, I really should get around to reading the rules...

>:| take your turn!

[Galzria]

Boast! Boast! Boast!

[Robz888]

I'm an Avenger with a Sword.

... That is all.

[Galzria]

I'm an Avenger with a Sword.

... That is all.

You can do better than that! Boooring!

[Voltgloss]

I'm an Avenger with a Sword.

... That is all.

You can do better than that! Boooring!

Well Galz, it's your turn to show him how it's done.

[Galzria]

Good evening Gents!

Please, allow me to introduce myself. M'name's Luigi Vercotti, and I'm a publicist - World famous ya know!

...

...

What?!? You haven't heard of me? Surely you're joking!

*sighs*

Well, I shouldn't be surprised I suppose. I DID get out of the publishing business years ago...

,Ahem! Nevermind that! This just won't do! Allow me to fill you in!

Ah! But first, allow me to introduce my minion... Err, subject... Whoops! Ahaha... My "friend":

Ron! Over here Ron! RON! Mr. Obvious, IF YOU PLEASE!

Yes. Well. You'll have to excuse him, he seems to have lost some of his brains during the latest, uhh, experiment. See, whom you believed to be "Rob Zombie", is none other than Mr. Ron Obvious, world reknown Very Talented person!

Oh COME ON! What do you MEAN you haven't heard of him either??

Don't you remember when he Jumped the English Channel™?

Or what about when he Ate Chichester Cathedral™?

Surely you heard about him Tunneling to Java™ or Splitting a Railway Carriage with his Nose™ or, or, how about when he Ran to Mercury™...

Well... Ok, I admit. Those weren't all GREAT successes. But I never gave up faith in Mr. Obvious! No Sir! I believed in him to the very end!

Ha! Well let me tell YOU, sir! His last, greatest talent COULD NOT BE DENIED!

Mr. Obvious, Very Talented, set about setting a record for Most Time Underground™ and after MANY long years, I'm thrilled to report that this had been a complete and utter...

Well here, perhaps this would work better if I just showed you:



Well, sadly, with Mr. Obvious... Ahem... "Down for the Count", as it were, it seemed nobody wanted my business. But still, *I* never lost faith. And after many, many years (and many, many beers), I decided it was time to see how 'ol Mr. Obvious was doing!

So... I spent a few years out of country learning my newest profession:

Necromancy!

I slammed a few beers (perhaps too many. I've a splitting headache), left before dawn (Without Breakfast even!), grabbed my trusty Bow (A modern necessity for the modern Necromancer),  and came out here to bring Mr. Obvious back up from the grave.

Well, like I was saying. Aside from a few missing brains, an obvious and complete success!

Oh, did I forget to mention that the Necromancy ritual involves Juggling? Seems rather important. Don't know how I could've forgotten it.

Ahem. Yes. As I was saying. M'name's Luigi Vercotti, world famous Publishing Necromancer, welding my trusty bow, while hung over, juggling, and WITHOUT breakfast!.

[Voltgloss]

A pause in the boasting led one of the more raucous participants to shout towards an unassuming, ordinary-seeming young man down at the end of the bar, who was absent-mindedly strumming on a guitar.  "Oi!!  What's YOUR story then?  You ain't one a' them spoony bards, are ya?"

The young man broke into a rhythmic pattern of strums, looked up, and quietly addressed the crowd.


"They got a buildin' down the end of this town.  It's called Whitehall Temple.

You walk in, you get consecrated, desecrated, rebated, defenestrated, overrated, and packing crated. 

I went down to get my ecumenical examination today... I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in this morning. 

'Cause I wanted to look like the all-medieval kid from New Hamlet City, man, I wanted, I wanted to FEEL like the all-... I wanted to BE the all-medieval kid from New Hamlet, and I walked in, sat down, I was prayed down, sprayed down, sprayed up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things.

And I walked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, 'Kid, see the Head Priest, room 604.'

And I went up there, and I said:

'Priest, I wanna kill.

I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill.

Kill.

I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. 

Eat dead burnt bodies.

I mean kill.  Kill.  KILL.  KILL.'

And I started jumpin' up and down yellin' "KILL KILL"
And he started jumpin' up and down with me
And we was both jumpin' up and down yellin' "KILL KILL"

And when we was done the priest came over, put a dagger in my hand, sent me out the door sayin' 'You're our boy.'"

And the young man stopped and grinned, a bizarre, feral grin.

"Feel pretty good about it."

Arlo, the Zealot from Whitehall Temple with his trusty Dagger, "Alice," will challenge the Gauntlet, notwithstanding his wicked hangover.  Also, because he has to use one arm to carry his guitar at all times, he'll be doing everything with one arm effectively tied behind his back.

[Jorbles]

Voltgloss, Voltgloss, Voltgloss. Your boasts betray you, for I know that you could not possibly be a Zealot with a Dagger with a hangover and a hand tied behind your back because that is my story except for one small detail which you conveniently forgot about. Don't you remember how I told you that in addition to getting wasted the night before and tying my hand behind my back that I'd also skipped breakfast? Next time you should try to remember which stories are your own, and which stories someone else has told you.

[Insomniac]

Back to Volt.

[Voltgloss]

The man who had called Arlo a "spoony bard" listened to all the boasting, and stood up.  With his face in the light, the rest of the bar could see he was an exceedingly old man, with bright white hair, dressed in robes that suggested a wizard more than a warrior - but with a self-proclaimed "wizard" in the bar holding an axe, who was to say what was normal anymore.

The old man spoke.  "You all don't know it, but you are already dead."

He turned his face and his glasses gleamed in the firelight.

"But that's all right."

"For I shall avenge!  With the mightiest of mighty powers:  METEO!!"

There was a pause.  Then someone in the back said, "That some kinda some spell or somethin'?"

"No, you idiot, it's my big eff-off sword!!"

And then someone jostled the old man, and his glasses fell off and got stepped on, rendering him functionally blind.

Tellah, the Avenger, with his Sword "Meteo", will challenge the Gauntlet blindfolded.

[Insomniac]

Back to Robz

[Kuildeous]

The fact that no one is fighting over my wizard with an axe does not bode well for my not-reading-the-rules self.

Why did I switch to lumberjacking? Why?!

[Galzria]

The fact that no one is fighting over my wizard with an axe does not bode well for my not-reading-the-rules self.

Why did I switch to lumberjacking? Why?!

I was eyeing him out the gates, but after my turn rolled 'round there was just too much good stuff left on the table to bother dealing with all your boasts... I had boasts of mine own to make!

Really though, you're in decent shape right now... But boasting is far from over.

[Ozle]

The fact that no one is fighting over my wizard with an axe does not bode well for my not-reading-the-rules self.

Why did I switch to lumberjacking? Why?!

YOU'RE A LUMBERJACK AND YOU'RE OK!
YOU SLEEP ALL NIGHT AND YOU WORK ALL DAY!

[Robz888]

Avenger, Sword, Blindfolded, no breakfast. Although IRL, I had breakfast, but no lunch, and am starving.

Also, I'm at a conference in Florida. Just went for a run on the beach and swim in the Atlantic. So pseudo-VLA, I guess.

[Voltgloss]

As the boasting went on through the night, one man wearing black slipped out the back.

He had no boasts to make.
He just had a big spiked club...
...and an utter lack of self-imposed disadvntages.

Maybe that would be enough.

The Thief With No Name will challenge the labyrinth with no boasts.

[Galzria]

Hah!

My friends, gather round! Gather round!

I am proud to announce on this evening, Mr. Obvious shall be setting forth to accomplish his next great event! Mark my words, THIS is the one that Ron 'ol boy will be absolutely remembered for above all others!

Yes, that's right, Ron Obvious shall attempt to recite Pi backwards, from from it's end to it's beginning!

How? Well, it's really quite simple, see. Given it's believed infinite length, there must be an infinite number of possible number combinations. All Mr. Obvious must do is start reciting whatever numbers come into his head, and eventually he'll find himself on the right track!

Well from there it's easy - see, it may be infinitely long going out, but it has a concrete beginning. Once he's on track to reciting back in... Oh, somewhere around 3,000... He'll know that all he has to do is keep going, and he'll eventually finish!

Yes'sirs this is the BIG one...

Huh?

What do you mean I'm insane?

What do you mean I'm just taking advantage of a poor, deceased Zombie?

No no no! You've got it all wrong! I care quite deepl...

Hey now! Wait a minute! There's no need to get hostile!

What're you doing with that sword? Don't point that at me! I most certainly will NOT!

.....

So it was that the local villagers, fed up with Luigi's extortion of one Ron Obvious, decided the only just punishment was to banish him to the local Gauntlet. Only through the "noble" act of ridding the town of the Evils within could he be redeemed. As it turned out, Zombies are loyal fellows, and Ron still seemed to believe that Luigi genuinely was

AHEM! Quite right too! I'm just misunderstood! I've always had Ron's best interest at... OK OK! I'M GOING! No need to poke me in the back with that thing!

Where was I? Oh yes. Ron still believed that Luigi was looking out for him. And thus, where Luigi went, Ron followed. ((To be perfectly honest, I don't know that there was enough of Ron left to think for himself. It seems Luigi was about as skilled a Necromancer as he was a Publicist.))

What fate awaits these two in the darkness? Will anybody else take pity and decide to join them? What destinies lie ahead?

Hell if I know! I'm just the narrator! Now get off my lawn you dang kids!

[Insomniac]

Encounter will go up tomorrow morning, prepare yourselves fools!