Monkey's Paw | Victory | $5
Worth 1% per Wish you have.
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When you gain this, take 3 hexes. At the start of your next 3 turns, receive one of those hexes to gain a Wish.
The Monkey's paw is a mythical artifact that grants three wishes -- but each wish is corrupted and it turns out bad for the wisher. Perhaps the wisest thing is to not use the Monkey's paw at all.
The best way I could make this fun and theming is to pair the wishes with hexes. I do note that in the real story it takes your specific wishes and turns them rotten, but I couldn't do that easily in span of card, so instead you just get hexed first. Seems fun. You also get some choice in what hex you get when, so you may be able to make a wiser choice based on your hand. They do hit hardest, hexes are strongest at the beginning of your turn.
There's another fun play, perhaps it is wisest not to use those wishes at all. Then your Monkey Paws could become quite valuable -- there are up to 12 wishes in the deck to get 12VP per MP. But be warned, going a victory strategy means you have tolerate all the hexes that come along (even if all wishes are gone you still get hexed).
Doing the math of some situations for fun.
(2MP, 6 wishes) = 12 VP, 8 junk cards (1.5VP/card), 6 hexes. Spent a "junk" wish and lose 2VP
(3MP, 9 wishes) = 27VP, 12 junk cards (2.25VP/card), 9 hexes. Spent a "junk" wish and lose 3VP
(4MP, 12 wishes) = 48VP, 16 junk cards (3VP/card), 12 hexes. Spent a "junk" wish and lose 4VP
(6MP, 12 wishes) = 72VP, 18 junk cards (4VP/card), 18 hexes. Spent a "junk" wish and lose 6VP
Of course this requires your hoarding of the wishes to be uncontested. Especially tough since the 3 wishes or gained once a turn starting the turn after you play a monkey's paw
I'm open to suggestions. I was considering costing it at $4 since if you spend the wishes it's self junking and that balances decently with the hex at start of turn for a delayed wish -- but I don't like War being able to kill Monkey Paws. I could be convinced though, it's tricky to balance.
Rules clarification 1: you can only receive a hex you have "taken." So if you first take Bad Omens, Delusion, and Envy, next turn you receive Bad Omens, then the turn after that you can only choose to receive Delusion and Envy.
Rules clarification 2: if you have bought multiple Monkey Paws that still have hexes, you treat the hexes piles as separate. So if MP 1 has Delusion and Envy left, and MP2 has Fear left, you can't choose to receive Delusion and Envy, you'd have to get one of those and Fear.