We each opened our mailbox on a dull and dreary November day. Bill, campaign advertisement, bill, wrong address, bill, ad, ad, ad... wait what is this?
The letters on the stamps were in a language that we didn't know and was from a place called Suomi? Suomi? Where is that? And who would be writing a letter to each of us from there? On the back of each letter was a sticker sealing the envelop shut. A cute, furry Pokemon!
With a rising curiosity, each of us carefully opened our letters--except for Galzria and Voltgloss who thought it was likely junk mail and quickly threw it in the recycling--and read the following:
Dear cayvie*, Insomniac, Cuzz*, Robz*, ashersky*, TheMunch*, Captain_Frisk*, Ozle, Abra655, yuma*, jotheonah*, Archetype*, shraeye & ehunt*:
As you may know, I play poker for a profession. It is a difficult profession, one with many lows and one with many highs. Well, let me tell you about one of the recent highs. Online one day I came across a player by the name of Zucky Berg. He had a large blue F for his avatar picture and I thought, "Hey, maybe he is from Finland. A large F, the color blue... Perhaps I will play a game or two with him."
Well, as it turned out Zucky Berg was more than wiling to play and he quickly increased the tension by announcing that he was in a brazen and crazed mood and was willing to bet 1 million U.S. dollars for every U.S. 100 U.S. dollars that I bet in our games. I was astounded and quickly accepted. We only played a couple of hands, but I quickly won 10 million U.S. dollars off the chump. So now I am a millionaire and to celebrate I want to invite all of you to come to Finland, also known as Suomi in Finnish or Suomen Kieli. I will treat you to Smoked Zander, Ruisleipä, Sahti and some Pulla. After that we will head to Casino Helsinki where we can play the tables a bit and then play a round of real life mafia in a room I have rented for us.
Your airfaire is paid for and enclosed is a ticket. Don't ask how I found out your real names and addresses... Money can buy anything these days. Please RSVP by typing confirmed into this thread--wait a second... how did a letter just morph into an online thread? Oh, right! Money can buy anything these days.
Your cuddly friend,
Eevee