This would be the greatest facepalm moment I've had.
--- Dutchman's turn 26 ---
Dutchman plays a Golem.
... revealing an Apprentice, a Province, a Silver, a Copper, an Estate, a Copper, a Copper, and a Throne Room.
... discarding the Silver, the 3 Coppers, the Province, and the Estate.
... playing the Apprentice first.
... ... trashing an Estate.
... ... drawing 2 cards and getting +1 action.
... playing the Throne Room second.
... ... and plays a Golem.
... ... ... (Dutchman reshuffles.)
... ... ... revealing a Throne Room and an Apprentice.
... ... ... playing the Throne Room first.
... ... ... ... and plays an Embargo.
... ... ... ... ... getting +$2.
... ... ... ... ... trashing the Embargo.
... ... ... ... ...
embargoing the Provinces. ... ... ... ... and plays the Embargo again.
... ... ... ... ... getting +$2.
... ... ... ... ...
embargoing the Provinces. ... ... ... playing the Apprentice second.
... ... ... ... trashing a Duchy.
... ... ... ... drawing 5 cards and getting +1 action.
... ... and plays the Golem again.
... ... ... revealing a Province, a Copper, a Province, a Copper, an Estate, a Silver, an Estate, an Embargo, a Silver, a Copper, an Estate, a Copper, a Silver, a Copper, a Copper, and a Goons.
... ... ... discarding the 3 Silvers, the 6 Coppers, the 2 Provinces, and the 3 Estates.
... ... ... playing the Embargo first.
... ... ... ... getting +$2.
... ... ... ... trashing the Embargo.
... ... ... ...
embargoing the Provinces. ... ... ... playing the Goons second.
... ... ... ... getting +1 buy and +$2.
... ... ... ... Jimmmmm discards 2 cards.
Dutchman plays 2 Silvers and 3 Coppers.
Dutchman buys a Gold.
... getting +1 ▼.
Dutchman buys a Gold.
... getting +1 ▼.
(Dutchman reshuffles.)
(Dutchman draws: 2 Coppers, a Golem, a Duchy, and an Apprentice.)
--- Jimmmmm's turn 27 ---
Jimmmmm plays a Gold and 2 Coppers.
Jimmmmm buys a Throne Room.
(Jimmmmm draws: a Silver, 3 Coppers, and a Duchy.)
--- Dutchman's turn 27 ---
Dutchman plays a Golem.
... revealing an Estate, a Silver, a Copper, a Copper, a Copper, a Copper, a Province, an Estate, a Silver, a Silver, a Gold, a Throne Room, a Golem, an Estate, a Copper, and an Apprentice.
... discarding the 3 Silvers, the 3 Estates, the Province, the Golem, the Gold, and the 5 Coppers.
... playing the Throne Room first.
... ... and plays an Apprentice.
... ... ... trashing a Duchy.
... ... ... drawing 5 cards and getting +1 action.
... ... and plays the Apprentice again.
... ... ... trashing a Throne Room.
... ... ... drawing 4 cards and getting +1 action.
... playing the Apprentice second.
... ... trashing an Estate.
... ... (Dutchman reshuffles.)
... ... drawing 2 cards and getting +1 action.
Dutchman plays a Goons.
... getting +1 buy and +$2.
... Jimmmmm discards 2 cards.
Dutchman plays 2 Golds, 2 Silvers, and 4 Coppers.
Dutchman buys a Province.
... getting +1 ▼.
...
gaining 3 Curses. Dutchman buys a Province.
... getting +1 ▼.
...
gaining 3 Curses. (Dutchman draws: 2 Silvers and 3 Coppers.)
All Provinces are gone.
Jimmmmm and Dutchman rejoice in their shared victory!