Confused King's Court
Action-Reaction - 7$
You may reveal an action card from your hand. Trash it three times.
Whenever another player plays an Attack card, you may reveal this from your hand. If you do, they play the attack card three times.
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Neigh! Whinny!
Action - 2$
Choose zero: +2389523528 actions, +1337 buys, -2$, trash your deck and put the trash pile on your discard pile.
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Bed Mastication
Action - 6$
You may eat your mattress. If you do, +2 VP.
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Askew Inventor
Action - $6
+1 Action
Write a post in the Really Bad Card Ideas thread. +X Cards, where X is the number of upvotes the post gets within 6 hours.
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Fever
Action-Reaction - $5
+1 Action
If you actually have a fever when playing this card, then go to bed. Otherwise, +2 Cards.
When another player plays this card, you may reveal this from your hand. If you do, you both gain a Cowbell.
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Yes I'm procrastinating going to bed in case anyone is wondering.