If our worst experiences shape our perception of these hexes, maybe it's worthwhile as a corrective to look at the other extreme: When do these hexes actually help?
#1 Locusts: We've all had that Locusts-trashes-Curse moment where we realize the loophole. A bit rarer are the Copper/Estate trashes after the Curses are out. And then there are the beneficial trades like trashing Skulk into Experiment or whatever.
#2 War: War trashing Fortress or just plain flipping your deck can be one of the friendliest hexes. Or maybe it gets rid of your Sea Hag once Curses are gone, or Potion once Scrying Pools are.
#3 Bad Omens: A classic boon when opening Cursed Village on 5-2. Also helps in slogs when having money on top of your deck is beneficial, or when you want good cards in your discard pile to find with Mountain Village.
#4 Haunting: In money decks, the quasi-Haven effect can also help you either smooth or spike money.
#5 Poverty: Helps filtering for non-discarding Draw-to-X like Cursed Village.
#6 Fear: Activates Swashbuckler!
#7 Plague: Can save you from a sad Cathedral trash, give you something to pass with Masquerade, or otherwise feed Bats or Foragers.
#8 Greed: If you're overdrawing, that's an extra coin of payload that could help you hit a needed price point.
#9 Famine: Can undo a bad topdeck (e.g. due to Rabble), reveal Patron for Coffers, or discard a Settlers for your Bustling Village to pick up.
#10 Envy: Apart from weird hypotheticals involving not wanting to draw with Storyteller, never.
#11 Delusion: Never. Fewer options is always worse.
#12 Misery: Never. Fewer points is always worse.