Ok. Big story time. This is without a doubt my most epic crawl experience thus far. I badly want to share it.
I was playing a Minotaur Gladiator of Xom, with a large amount of skill invested in Axes. I had a book of random basic spells Xom gifted me, and shouting, hooves, and cold resist mutations. I also had an amulet that blocks some deflects some attacks from summoned monsters.
_This raw flesh tastes terrible.
_You continue eating. x2
_You start resting.
So, I'm chilling out, eating meat and healing up from 60% with the imp xom summoned for me. Mostly new floor
_Your crimson imp disappears in a puff of smoke!
"Let's go for a ride!"
Your surroundings suddenly seem different.
_Your surroundings suddenly seem different.
Found a ring mail and 19 gold pieces.
A necromancer and 2 simulacra come into view.
When Xom decides to make my life exciting and teleport me into a room with an extremely dangerous necromancer and some simulacra. It's a roughly square room with a lower left door, lower right door, necromancer in the upper left, and a vertical dead end in the upper right hidden from the necro's line of sight.
_The sheep simulacrum moves out of view.
_You now have 992 gold pieces (gained 19).
You see here a ring mail.
Since the necro hasn't seen me yet I bolt for the dead end, hoping to regen that 40% before escaping or fighting. The sheep saw me, I hope it will forget about me.
You start memorising the spell. You continue memorising.
I decide to try to memorize summon butterfly from the low level book even though my character is nonmagical up to this point. Almost no other tricks are up my sleeve
The sheep simulacrum bites you. Your memorisation is interrupted.
_The sheep simulacrum freezes you.
You hit the sheep simulacrum.
Your headbutt misses the sheep simulacrum.
The sheep simulacrum barely misses you. You furiously retaliate!
_You headbutt the sheep simulacrum, but do no damage.
You hit the sheep simulacrum. You kick the sheep simulacrum!
_The sheep simulacrum vapourises!
Woops, now I'm at 50%. At least I am pretty sure now that only the sheep saw me. I definitely have time to do a switch that leaves my AC temporarily low.
You start removing your armour.
_You continue taking off your +0 orcish cloak.
You finish taking off your +0 orcish cloak.
You start removing your armour.
_You continue taking off your +1 ring mail. x5
You finish taking off your +1 ring mail.
You start putting on your armour.
_You continue putting on your +2 orcish robe of resistance. x2
You finish putting on your +2 orcish robe of resistance.
You feel resistant to extremes of temperature.
You start putting on your armour.
_You continue putting on your +0 orcish cloak.
You finish putting on your +0 orcish cloak.
That's better.
_You start memorising the spell. You continue memorising.
_You finish memorising.
ok, cool. Now I'll just hit 5 until I'm at full health, then summon 8 butterflies and make a break for it.
_A yell rips itself from your throat!
_You hear a shout!
shiiiiiiiit
You miscast Summon Butterflies.
You are very lightly contaminated with residual magic.
[successful butterfly cast]
Something misses your butterfly.
Something completely misses your butterfly.
_Something barely misses your butterfly.
_You miscast Summon Butterflies. Nothing appears to happen.
You don't have enough magic to cast that spell.
It begins to drip with poison!
_B - an uncursed trident of venom (weapon)
You reach to attack! You hit the grizzly bear simulacrum.
The grizzly bear simulacrum misses your butterfly.
The grizzly bear simulacrum completely misses your butterfly.
The grizzly bear simulacrum claws your butterfly.
The grizzly bear simulacrum freezes your butterfly!
_Your butterfly dies!
_You reach to attack! You hit the grizzly bear simulacrum.
Your uncursed trident of venom stops dripping with poison.
m - a +4,+1 orcish hand axe (weapon)
The grizzly bear simulacrum barely misses you.
You furiously retaliate!
You headbutt the grizzly bear simulacrum.
The grizzly bear simulacrum claws you but does no damage.
_The grizzly bear simulacrum closely misses you.
_You hit the grizzly bear simulacrum. You kick the grizzly bear simulacrum.
You hit the grizzly bear simulacrum.
The grizzly bear simulacrum barely misses you.
You furiously retaliate!
You headbutt the grizzly bear simulacrum.
The grizzly bear simulacrum closely misses you.
The grizzly bear simulacrum claws you.
The grizzly bear simulacrum freezes you.
_You resist.
You slash the grizzly bear simulacrum!
_The grizzly bear simulacrum vapourises!
_You feel clever all of a sudden.
Generic fighting against the frosties while my butterflies flutter.
The necromancer hits your butterfly with a runed dagger.
Your butterfly writhes in agony.
_Your butterfly dies!
The necromancer casts a spell at you.
_You resist.
_The necromancer hits you with a dagger of pain.
Oh god, a dagger of pain. I'm bolting past him to the lower right door.
You open the door.
9 simulacra come into view.
You gotta be kidding me. A dead end with nothing but 9 simulacra I just released.
_The necromancer hits you but does no damage.
_As you read the scroll of blinking, it crumbles to dust.
You open the door.
I blink to the other door. Please have up-stairs and a bat.
Psyche comes into view. She is wielding a runed dagger.
_Psyche shouts!
Seriously? Definitely close enough to get some hits on me when I run past her to flee down the only hall this room has. At least it is a 1 tile thick hall if I get there alive. I don't expect to at this point. I have no potions, no cards, no wild card scrolls, nothing but EV and cold resist rolls, butterflies, and Xom's funny ideas about honor at this point.
Found a dagger.
Psyche barely misses your butterfly.
Psyche you are usually unintimidating compared to other uniques but that's kind of a new low for you hun.
The necromancer casts a spell at you.
The bolt of cold hits you! You resist.
The sheep simulacrum bites your butterfly.
_Your butterfly dies!
You don't have enough magic to cast that spell.
You hit the necromancer but do no damage.
Your kick misses the necromancer. You headbutt the necromancer.
The necromancer is lightly wounded.
Psyche's eyes start to glow.
The grizzly bear simulacrum barely misses your butterfly.
The grizzly bear simulacrum claws your butterfly.
The grizzly bear simulacrum freezes your butterfly!
_Your butterfly dies!
You closely miss the necromancer.
The necromancer is lightly wounded.
Psyche looks braver.
_The necromancer hits you with a dagger of pain.
You slash the necromancer! Your kick misses the necromancer.
The necromancer is moderately wounded.
Psyche gestures at you while chanting.
The puff of flame hits your butterfly.
Your butterfly dies!
The butterflies block Psyche's LoS for a moment so I try to see if the necro is surprisingly squishy for an "extremely dangerous". He's not, so once Psyche destroys my butterfly cover I head back to the hall
_Psyche hits you with a runed dagger.
There is an open door, spattered with blood here.
The necromancer gestures at you while chanting.
You resist.
Psyche points at you and mumbles some strange words.
_The puff of frost hits you! You resist.
Psyche casts a spell at you.
The magic dart hits you!
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
Psyche laughs secretively.
Psyche gestures wildly while chanting.
_Psyche seems to speed up.
Psyche is faster than me and demonstrating that she has the INT to kill me using spell that doesn't miss. I don't have a choice besides fighting back now, and it looks really bleak.
You hit Psyche. Your kick misses Psyche.
Psyche is lightly wounded.
_Psyche hits you but does no damage.
You hit Psyche. Your kick misses Psyche.
Psyche is lightly wounded.
Psyche hits you with a runed dagger.
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
Psyche cries, "You've killed my pet!"
Psyche points at you and mumbles some strange words.
_The puff of flame misses you.
Psyche casts a spell at you.
The puff of flame hits you! You resist.
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
_Psyche barely misses you. You furiously retaliate! You headbutt Psyche!
Psyche hits you with a runed dagger.
* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
_You partially resist. You feel drained.
Psyche hits you with a dagger of chaos!
* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
You partially resist. You feel drained.
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
I am literally at 1/86 HP at this point guys. 1/86 HP. There's still a blob of simulacrams in the hall waiting for their turn, and the necro. But at least Psyche is wounded right?
You hit Psyche. Your kick misses Psyche. Your headbutt misses Psyche.
Psyche is heavily wounded.
_Psyche hits you but does no damage.
You hit Psyche. You kick Psyche.
Psyche is severely wounded.
_Psyche drinks a potion. Psyche is healed!
Not even..
You hit Psyche. You kick Psyche.
Psyche is severely wounded.
Psyche barely misses you. You furiously retaliate! You headbutt Psyche.
Psyche laughs secretively.
Psyche casts a spell at you.
The puff of flame hits you! You resist.
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
You closely miss Psyche. Your kick misses Psyche. Your headbutt misses Psyche.
Psyche is severely wounded.
I'm literally overdue for death at this point, not even gambler's fallacy, the chick is gonna get down to 1MP and cast magic dart because it's cheapest.
"Let's see if it's strong enough to survive yet."
Psyche's dagger of chaos dances into the air!
It bites your dagger of chaos but does no damage.
Something completely misses your dagger of chaos.
It claws your dagger of chaos but does no damage.
The necromancer closely misses your dagger of chaos.
0.0 I didn't even know Xom could do that!! Now Psyche is unarmed and my AC makes it very likely she does 0 damage. She actually does just enough damage to counteract my regen and put me back to 1, of course.
Psyche hits you.
_* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
You hit Psyche.
Psyche is almost dead.
_Psyche closely misses you.
You hit Psyche.
You kill Psyche!
Your life force feels restored.
Your dagger of chaos hits the hound simulacrum.
The necromancer closely misses your dagger of chaos.
The hound simulacrum barely misses your dagger of chaos.
Something bites your dagger of chaos. Something freezes your dagger of chaos.
Your dagger of chaos resists.
Something closely misses your dagger of chaos.
_It claws your dagger of chaos but does no damage.
Your dagger of chaos hits the hound simulacrum!
The hound simulacrum vapourises!
Something hits your dagger of chaos.
_Your dagger of chaos closely misses something.
Your dagger of chaos closely misses something.
_Something misses your dagger of chaos. Your dagger of chaos misses something.
Your Axes skill increases to level 16!
_You feel a bit more experienced.
_You feel a bit more experienced.
_You feel a bit more experienced.
I run away while the dagger distracts them. It quickly falls to 1 HP as an act of loyalty and unity and then it starts owning stuff.
A kobold and a centaur come into view.
_The kobold shouts!
_The centaur wields a bow. The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow misses you.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow hits your butterfly.
It never ends. I'm at 2-3 HP, and the hall lets out into an open area with these two ranged enemies with good accuracy. I spam the hell out of butterflies and constantly try to juke and hide in the butterflies, hoping my dagger will finish all the dudes, then come over here and kill or distract the centaur.
Your butterfly dies!
_Your dagger of chaos barely misses the sheep simulacrum.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow misses your butterfly.
The arrow hits you!
* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
Your dagger of chaos hits the sheep simulacrum!
The sheep simulacrum misses your butterfly.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow hits your butterfly.
Your butterfly dies!
Your dagger of chaos hits the sheep simulacrum!
_The sheep simulacrum vapourises!
The kobold misses your butterfly. The centaur shoots an arrow.
_The arrow misses your butterfly. The arrow misses you.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow misses your butterfly.
The arrow misses your butterfly. The arrow misses you.
The kobold barely misses your butterfly.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow hits your butterfly.
_Your butterfly dies!
The kobold completely misses your butterfly.
_The hound simulacrum barely misses your butterfly.
Quivering t - 2 darts of flame for throwing.
You throw a dart of flame.
The dart of flame misses the hound simulacrum.
The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow hits your butterfly.
The hound simulacrum misses your butterfly.
The kobold barely misses your dagger of chaos.
_The centaur shoots an arrow. The arrow misses you.
You swap places.
Your butterfly disappears in a puff of smoke! x2
_The hound simulacrum barely misses your butterfly.
Quivering D - a throwing net [frayed] for throwing.
You throw a throwing net [frayed].
The throwing net [frayed] hits the kobold.
The kobold is caught in the net!
Your butterfly disappears in a puff of smoke!
The kobold struggles to escape the net. Your dagger of chaos hits the centaur!
_Your dagger of chaos freezes the centaur.
You swap places. The kobold struggles to escape the net.
_The hound simulacrum misses your butterfly.
You swap places. The kobold struggles to escape the net.
The centaur unwields an uncursed bow. The centaur completely misses you.
Your dagger of chaos hits the centaur. The centaur is healed somewhat.
The centaur closely misses you. You furiously retaliate!
You headbutt the centaur!
_You kill the centaur!
The kobold struggles against the net.
_The rat simulacrum completely misses your butterfly.
The kobold struggles against the net. Your dagger of chaos hits the kobold!
_The kobold dies!
_You feel a little less clever now.
You swap places.
Your dagger of chaos hits the hound simulacrum!
The hound simulacrum bites your butterfly.
The hound simulacrum freezes your butterfly.
Your dagger of chaos hits the hound simulacrum!
_The hound simulacrum vapourises!
Your dagger of chaos hits the rat simulacrum!
_The rat simulacrum vapourises!
_You start resting.
I finally five, the dagger kills everything. Then it falls to the ground for me to keep. I thank the Xoms, a lot. Nothing wanders by before I 5 up to full HP, the end.