Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Tables]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Mountebank."

This is basically what we have here in my village, though I'm not really living close to the borders, but at least I'm living far from the capital.

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint...

...a Governor."

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Haggler. Actually, we already have three Hagglers here. Better appoint four Hagglers, then."

[markusin]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Splendid! This calls for a tribute."

[Just a Rube]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint a Margrave."

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."

"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. We could choose a Margrave, a Governor..."

"How about a rag-tag Band of Misfits? They'll start arguing all the time, but eventually they'll learn to overcome their differences and work together as a team. It'll be the heart-warming comedy of the year!"

[eHalcyon]

Border Village yadda yadda...

"...and the Merchant Ship shall be their leader."

"Your majesty, do you mean to appoint the captain?"

"No, the ship.  It is a fine and worthy vessel."

"..."

[StrongRhino]

"Sir, we've established a village in the borders of out territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint...
"A Treasure Map?"
"No, they're too unreliable, lets appoint a Vault instead."

[Synthesizer]

"Sir, we've established a village on the borders of our territory."
"Hmm, we need someone to govern it. Better appoint some Nobles."

"But Sir, the Nobles require too high of a salary."
"You're right.  Let's put the Witch over there instead and let her have at it."

"Oh no, this will turn into a Rabble...."

--------------

"Don't worry, I'll send my Minion"

--------------

"Well, too bad for the people there, I then only have this Torturer available"

--------------

(I think this one has run its course. Thing is, I'm not a funny guy, so I have no replacement available, anybody?)

[shMerker]

Even though you can get a lot of extras thrown in when you pay extra for a Masterpiece, the Hagglers, Traders, and Swindlers all know it's only worth $3 and that if they're willing to travel a few towns over (You just take the Highway that crosses two Bridges) they can get one for free. You could even get a Hermit to make one for you.

[Powerman]

I like developing a Duke of Mine into a Harem and an Island.  Next turn, I exile her to the Island.

[shMerker]

Trading a Bag of Gold for a Poor House is considered an Upgrade.

[KingZog3]

Hmmm, I think I need an Advisor to help me make decisions. I better appoint my sworn enemy in the rival kingdom!

[PSGarak]

Herald: A messenger from a neighboring kingdom wishes an audience!

King: Let him in, but please introduce him.

Herald: Your majesty, Bob... the Herald! *toots trumpet*

Herald 2: Your majesty, I bring news!

King: And what news is this?

Herald 2: A messenger from a different foreign land has come and wishes an audience!

King: A different one? Who would that be?

Herald 2: Your majesty, Rob... the Herald! *tootle*

King: Hello Rob.

Herald 3: Your majesty, I bring news of a messenger approaching!

King: You don't say.

Herald 3: Sirs, Job... the Herald! *tootle*

King: ...

Herald 4: Your Majesty, I bring news!

King: Get on with it.

Herald 4: Oh wait that's not a message. It's change for the bus back. My bad.

King: Sigh....

Herald 4: *tootle*

[JacquesTheBard]

For fans of The Incredibles:

Sir Destry steps out of the Border Village where he lives and gets on his horse, ready to save the day once again for his Kingdom. But on a smaller saddle on the back, some whiny kid is sitting.

Kid: Cool, ready for takeoff!

Sir Destry: What the...? Who are you supposed to be?

Kid: Well, I'm Destry-lad.

Destry: What? No, you're that kid from the fan club. [Stammering] Squeeky, Squirrely, Squire! Squire!

Squire: My name. Is Destry-lad.

Destry: Look, I've been nice. I stood for portraits, signed every scrap of parchment you've pushed at me, but this...

Squire: Oh no, you don't have to worry about training me! I know your moves, your drawing, your trashing, everything! I am your number one fan!

[Gets kicked off horse]

Years later, the Rogue in front of Sir Destry looks somewhat familiar.

[AJD]

...But a knight can't trash a squire.

[JacquesTheBard]

...But a knight can't trash a squire.

Disappointment can, my friend. Besides, Mr. Incredible is a guy. Dame Anna just doesn't work.
Almost considered Dame Sylvia, due to Rogue parallels.
And Elastigirl is Dame Molly. Flexible=works well with other heroes=+actions.

[mail-mi]

Violet=Sir Bailey. It's almost like he wasn't ever in your hand!

[StrongRhino]

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=3857.msg79541

More Sage jokes!

Sage skips Stonemason, but stops at the Ironmonger- He is out of the Stone Age, they build with iron now.

This makes me wish there was a "steel" card. Then I could say he is the "Man of Steel"

[Asper]

Sage doesn't fall for Fool's Gold.

[KingZog3]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

[Awaclus]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy. 

[gman314]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

[WanderingWinder]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

[WanderingWinder]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

[Witherweaver]

It's good that Mystic works with deck inspection, and otherwise it's just guessing. Really shows that predicting the future is just guesswork.

It isn't guesswork when there has been an Oracle helping her predict the future. Or a Fortune Teller. And even a Scrying Pool is sometimes enough.

At first the Mystic is just blindly guessing, but if she gets it wrong then the next Mystic predicts with 100% accuracy.

Unless you're just an idiot.

Or don't want the card.

Okay, right, but this is about theme of cards.  The point was that guessing the future once allows you to know the future for your second guess.

Right - but you can also delay that future if you want.

Right, but it still doesn't make thematic sense.