Wilson,
As an author, I'm sure you have a firm grasp of the rules of the English language. But sometimes writers make mistakes, so presumably you have an editor who catches errors, consolidates your work, etc. Dominion cards have extra rules and subtleties all their own. Because you're new to creating cards, you've made quite a few mistakes. We're here to edit your cards to bring them in line with the "rules of Dominion", as it were.
It's pretty clear that you're fairly new to Dominion (compared to many of us), which is great! I'm glad you enjoy the game. However, since you posted on this forum, I'm assuming you're looking for advice from people much more knowledgeable about the game. I'm going to exercise the same rigorous standards when critiquing your cards that I'd use for any cards here, so I apologize up front for my harshness.
I'm guessing from the cards you've posted that you own Dominion, Dominion: Intrigue, and maybe Dominion: Prosperity and that you don't have much familiarity with the cards outside those sets. When I reference an existing official card, I'll make it into a link that you can click on to see that card.
I'm going to critique each card. The first paragraph or two that I write for each card is going to cover syntax errors. Changes I make here are changes that are necessary in order for your card to be valid. I will strive to change the functionality of the card as little as possible in this first section. Second, I will post an edited version of the card with those syntax changes. Finally, I will talk about the power of the card, compare it to existing cards, and suggest changes to the card's function.
Ale House
$5 - Action
Discard a Treasure from your hand.
+4 Cards
+1 Action
Put two cards on the bottom of your deck.
By default, discarded cards come from your hand, so you don't have to specify that. However, most cards that are moved do not have a default initial location, so you do need to specify 'from your hand' when putting cards on the bottom of your deck. Alehouse also has an accountability issue when the player claims not to have a Treasure in hand, so a hand reveal is necessary in that case.
Ale House$5 - Action
Discard a Treasure card (or reveal a hand with no Treasures).
+4 Cards
+1 Action
Put 2 cards from your hand on the bottom of your deck in any order.
I'd test it with discarding the two cards rather than putting them on the bottom of your deck. The fact that this leaves you with the same hand size if you had any Treasures in hand means that it's not strictly better than
Laborartory or
Stables. The discarding is faster than putting cards back into your deck and the card could probably use the power boost. If it's too powerful, go back to putting the cards on the bottom of your deck.
Confessor
$2 - Action
+2 Actions
+ $1
---
While this is in play, you may trash up to two Curses. If you do, each other player discards a card from his hand.
I'm glad you got rid of the Action – Treasure hybrid. That's generally a very confusing type combination. The bottom of the card still has problems, though. You cannot have a "While this is in play" clause that is open-ended about when the events trigger. I believe that the idea is to be able to trash Curses that you draw after you play Confessor. As the card is currently worded, though, I could play it, discard zero Curses (which is in the range of "up to 2"), and make each other player discard a card from his hand. Since I can just do this while Confessor is in play, I can immediately do it again four more times, completely wiping out my opponents' hands. The card didn't have the discard portion earlier, and I suggest you remove it again.
Confessor$2 - Action
+2 Actions
+ $1
---
When you discard this from play, you may trash up to 2 Curses from your hand.
This might be OK as-is, but I think it's going to nullify Curse-giving attacks a little too much. I suggest changing it so that if you trash Curses from your hand, you also trash the Confessor.
Confessor$2 - Action
+2 Actions
+ $1
---
When you discard this from play, you may trash up to 2 Curses from your hand. If you trashed at least one Curse this way, trash this.
Crusader
$5 - Action-Attack
Choose one:
+$3
Or trash this. Each other player reveals his hand and trashes an Attack or Treasure of your choice. You may gain any Treasure trashed in this way.
You should put the "+$3" inline with the rest of the text, rather than offsetting it on its own line. It also needs a semicolon after it. Also, as it is written, the attack is not contingent on trashing the card. So I could get +$3, not trash the card, and perform the Attack.
Crusader$5 - Action–Attack
Choose one: +$3; or trash this and each other player reveals his hand, trashing a revealed Attack or Treasure card of your choice. You may gain any or all of the trashed Treasures.
As others have said, +$3 is already a pretty solid—if boring—$5 Action card. Adding more on top of that makes the card quite powerful. I'd replace the +$3 with +3 Cards or something of that sort. The attack portion is problematic because when played repeatedly, it can wipe out your opponents' turns. You should include a clause so that this only hits players with 5 or more cards in hand.
Helping Hand
$3 - Action-Victory
Reveal your hand. If you have no Treasure cards or only one Copper, gain a Gold and put it into your hand.
---
Worth 2VP
Interpreting this wording as strictly as possible, I could reveal a hand of Copper/Gold/Gold/Gold and gain a Gold, since I only have one Copper in hand. I'd revise the card such that it activates if you have no more than one Treasure in hand, regardless of what that Treasure is. Also, you need to specify that you
revealed zero or one cards, not that you
have them. "Having" cards is not a defined Dominion term.
Helping Hand$3 - Action–Victory
Reveal your hand. If you revealed at most one Treasure card, gain a Gold and put it into your hand.
---
Worth 2VP
I generally dislike Action–Victory cards where the Victory portion just feels tacked on and has nothing to do with the rest of the card. I think
Great Hall,
Nobles, and
Harem sufficiently cover that territory. However, it seems OK to me on this card because its Action portion is going to trigger so seldom. It's a card you have to work to activate (or get really lucky). I like the idea.
Infirmary
$3 - Action-Reaction
Choose one: Draw 2 cards, or trash up to 2 cards.
---
When another player plays an Attack, you may reveal and set this aside from your hand. If you do, at the start of your next turn, gain a card costing up to $5 from the trash and discard this.
Instead of "Draw 2 cards", use "+2 Cards". Again, you have to specify that you're trashing up to 2 cards
from your hand. When a card is set-aside, it is implicitly revealed, so you don't need to specify that.
Infirmary$3 - Action-Reaction
Choose one: +2 Cards; or trash up to 2 cards from your hand.
---
When another player plays an Attack, you may set this aside from your hand. If you do, at the start of your next turn, discard this and gain a card costing up to $5 from the trash.
I'd say that the top part is a little too close to
Steward. It's a little more flexible with the trashing and doesn't have the +$2 option, but it's similar. The bottom part is interesting, but cards that gain from the trash generally need a component that puts good cards into the trash, or they'll be useless in most games. See
Graverobber and
Rogue.
Lady of Learning
$4 - Action
+1 Action
Choose one: Pass one card from your hand to the player on your left; or look at the top 3 cards of your deck, put one into your hand and discard the other two.
I only have minor wording nitpicks here. These are just for ease of understanding though. They're not strictly necessary changes.
Lady of Learning$4 - Action
+1 Action
Choose one: Pass a card from your hand to the player on your left; or look at the top 3 cards of your deck, put one of them into your hand, and discard the rest.
People have already talked about the asymmetry issues this card has. If you're cool with that, there's nothing else I have to say.
Patron of Arts
$5 - Treasure
Worth $0
---
When you buy a card, you may gain one costing up to $5 that is a different card type than any others gained while this in play.
"Is a different type" is vague because it's not clear whether it refers to each individual type or the combination of types. I'd replace it with "does not share a type with". You also need a "while this is in play" clause. Also, you used to have a "bought or gained" clause. You should bring that back so that it applies to the card you bought to activate this ability. Otherwise, as others have pointed out, it doesn't count the card you're buying now because Patron of the Arts's gain happens before you actually gain the bought card.
Patron of Arts$5 - Treasure
Worth $0
---
While this is in play, when you buy a card, you may gain a card costing up to $5 that does not share a type with any card you've bought or gained while this was in play.
I have no idea how this would actually play, so I can't comment on its power. If it seems to be working for you, great! Keep in mind that once you buy your first card (during your buy phase), you can no longer play any Treasure cards that turn. So you'll have to play all of your Patrons of the Arts before buying a card, making it weaker.
Pied Piper
$3 - Action-Attack
+1 Card
+1 Buy
Each other player trashes a Copper or reveals a hand with no Copper. You gain +$1 for each card trashed in this way.
You must specify that the Copper trashed comes from the other players' hands. Also, you don't "gain" coins. You only gain cards.
Pied Piper$3 - Action–Attack
+1 Card
+1 Buy
Each other player trashes a Copper from his hand (or reveals a hand with no Copper). +$1 for each card trashed in this way.
This card has a couple of issues. First, although trashing Copper from an oponent's hand hurts their next turn, it's almost always a net benefit for them. Second, the coins you get scale badly as the number of players changes. You'll note that there are several trashing Attack cards that get better as the number of players increases (
Thief,
Noble Brigand,
Pirate Ship,
Jester), but none of them scale by giving you more coins to spend this turn. An early play of this card will almost certainly get you +$5 in a 6-player game.
Sculptor
$4 - Action
+$1
Look at the top 4 cards of your deck. Put two of them into your hand, discard the others.
Usually you'd use "the rest" rather than "the others", but it's not crucial.
Sculptor$4 - Action
+$1
Look at the top 4 cards of your deck. Put 2 of them into your hand and discard the rest.
The version you had before that gave +$2 was way too powerful for even a $5 card. I'd say this version should cost $5. It's not terribly interesting, but might be a fine card at that price.
Shepherd
$5 - Action-Victory
You may reveal any number of Victory cards from your hand; +$1 for each one, including this.
---
Worth 2VP
As multiple people have told you, you should not say "including this" for a set of cards that clearly does not include "this". Espeically not when the fix is as easy as adding "+$1" to the card. Also, you don't need the "you may", since zero is included in "any number". Honestly, for expediency's sake, you really should change it to "Reveal your hand. +$1 for each Victory card revealed." That's how
Crossroads handles it.
Shepherd$5 - Action-Victory
+$1.
Reveal your hand. +$1 for each Victory card revealed.
---
Worth 2VP
This is what a Action–Victory card should be. It matters that it's a Victory card because it synergizes with itself. Very nice.
Sisters of Charity
$3 - Action
+1 Card
+2 Actions
Discard a Treasure, or reveal a hand with no Treasures and gain two Silvers.
As this is written, it's not clear whether I can gain two Silvers even if I reveal no Treasures.
Sisters of Charity$3 - Action
+1 Card
+2 Actions
Reveal your hand. If you revealed no Treasures, gain 2 Silvers. Otherwise, discard a Treasure.
I think this overlaps too much with Helping Hand. I like Helping Hand better, personally. I'd cut this card, or at least give it an overhaul.
Sisters of Mercy
$4 - Action
+2 Cards
+1 Action
Reveal a hand with no Treasure cards, or give a Treasure to the player on your left.
As many people have told you, "give" is not a defined Dominion term. If it goes into that player's hand, use "pass". If not, use "gain". Also, if you use "pass", the card must be revealed first so that the other players know that it is a Treasure card.
Sisters of Mercy$4 - Action
+2 Cards
+1 Action
Reveal a Treasure card from your hand (or reveal a hand with no Treasures). Pass it to the player on your left.
It's another card with asymmetry, and quite similar to Lady of Learning. Personally, I'd cut the passing option from Lady of Learning and keep Sisters of Mercy as-is.
Cudgel
$5 - Action-Attack
+2 Cards
+$2
Each other player draws one card, then chooses one: Discard two cards, trash a Treasure that is not a Copper, or gain a Curse.
You need some semicolons here to delineate the options. Also, the Treasure-trashing part has accountability issues, and needs a hand reveal.
Cudgel$5 - Action-Attack
+2 Cards
+$2
Each other player draws a card, then chooses one: he discards 2 cards; or he gains a Curse; or he trashes a Treasure from his hand that is not a Copper (or reveals a hand with no such cards).
This is another card with several issues. First, +2 Cards/+$2 is already pushing the power limit for a $5 card. Adding an attack onto that is just nuts. Second, it's really too similar to
Torturer, a card I'm guessing you're already familiar with.
Here's something you may not know about Torturer: when another player plays one, you can choose to gain a Curse even if the Curse pile is empty. So once all the Curses are gone from the Supply, Torturer's attack does nothing. Cudgel's attack is even more prone to missing because a player without non-Copper Treasures in hand can choose the Treasure-trashing option and not be hit it.
Savoyard
$4 - Treasure
Worth $2
---
When this is in play, it is worth an additional $1 for each other Savoyard you have in play.
This wording is incorrect. As others have pointed out, Treasure cards give you coins when they are played, not by being in play.
Savoyard$4 - Treasure
Worth $2
---
While this is in play, when you play a Savoyard, +$1.
However, this card has other issues. First, you should never make a Treasure that costs $4 and generates $2 without some sort of penalty. The reason is that $3 and $4 are pretty similar in how often you're able to afford them, and good players will often gladly buy Silver for $4 in many games. So $4 Silver-with-a-bonus will be bought up very quickly.
Also, this card is too similar to
Fool's Gold to be interesting. In fact, Fool's Gold was originally meant to work exactly like this (except it was worth $1 instead of $2), and the eventaul decision was that it would require too much crazy wording.
Inventor
$6 - Action
+1 Action
Trash a card. Discard a card. When you do, put 2 Action cards from any supply pile into your hand. During the clean-up phase, return both cards to supply, even if the card was a Duration or was trashed. Inventor can be played only once per turn.
I will comment on Inventor. Many seem to think that tracking the two Action cards is an issue. I just don't get it. If, for one turn, I choose Council Room and Market, for example, how hard is it to play them on this turn just as I would if they'd already been in my hand and then to remember--and I'm sure your opponent will have no problem remembering!--which two cards you chose for this turn.
This is where the harshness comes in. This card is a train wreck. It's like a laundry list of what not to do on a Dominion card. I'm not going to attempt to fix the syntax because the card isn't worth saving. Here's what's wrong with the card:
- It has too many moving parts. It does too many different, disconnected things at different times, which might make it hard to remember how the card works.
- "Trash a card" should be "Trash a card from your hand".
- "When you do," should be "If you do,".
- "2 Action cards from any Supply pile" sounds to me like the two cards have to come from the same Supply pile, which I assume is not your intention.
- "During the clean-up phase" is not an acceptable timing; it's too vague. You could say, "At the start of Clean-up."
- In Dominion, there is a rule called the "lose track rule" that prevents a card from moving other cards if it has "lost track" of them. eHalcyon has done a beautiful job of coming up with many situations in which Inventor loses track of the cards it gets you, but the worst ones are when the cards are already shuffled back into your deck.
- eHalcyon has likewise demonstrated why you can't say, "Inventor can only be played once per turn."
- It's too close to Band of Misfits, which is a much cleaner and better take on this sort of card.
Gargoyle
$5 - Action-Attack
+ 2 Cards
Each other player reveals his hand. If he holds a Gold or Province, he gains a Curse.
---
If no players gained a Curse in this way, you gain a Silver and put it into your hand.
"If he holds" should be "If he revealed".
Gargoyle$5 - Action–Attack
+2 Cards
Each other player reveals his hand. If he revealed a Gold or Province, he gains a Curse.
---
If no players gained a Curse in this way, gain a Silver, putting it into your hand.
I think it would be a solid card if the Silver didn't go into your hand. I think that really pushes it over the edge in terms of power. See my earlier comments on +2 Cards/+$2 being very powerful. The fact that it's not reliable might make it OK.
Castle Builder
$5 - Action
+ 2 Cards
+ $1
Trash a card from your hand, gain a card of equal cost or less and put it into your discard pile. When you do, each other player gains an Estate card.
You don't have to specify that gained cards go into the discard pile; that's the default destination.
Castle Builder$5 - Action
+2 Cards
+$1
Trash a card from your hand; gain a card costing no more than it. Each other player gains an Estate card.
Having other players gain Estates is a bad idea because there aren't that many in the Supply. I'm really not sure how the rest of the card would play out. I forsee a lot of trashing Estates for other Estates or Coppers near the beginning of the game, and trashing Provinces to gain Provinces near the end of the game. I recommend making the trashing optional and possibly making the player return the card to the Supply rather than trashing it.
By the way, did you name this card because the prototype for Dominion was once called "Castle Builder", or is that just a coincidence?