Topic: theory really needs to stop with the terrible puns on his gmail. (Read 4903 times)

Tables · « **on:** December 12, 2012, 01:39:35 pm »

Just a sample of ones I've seen him have (some paraphrasing):

I recently watched a documentary on how ships are held together. Riveting!

I was shocked when I found out my toaster isn't waterproof.

(Not a pun but still) I used to be bad at sports, until I found out you can just buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.

theory · « **Reply #1 on:** December 12, 2012, 01:48:48 pm »

You missed one, the one I had previously (before the toaster one):

Did you hear that Al Gore is trying his hand at music? His band is called Algorithms.

(The trophies line is from Demetri Martin.)

Ozle · « **Reply #2 on:** December 12, 2012, 01:52:11 pm »

Theory, as your forum is so awesome can we have a seperate 'Suck-up' forum?

Tables · « **Reply #3 on:** December 12, 2012, 04:41:24 pm »

Quote from: theory on December 12, 2012, 01:48:48 pm

You missed one, the one I had previously (before the toaster one):

Did you hear that Al Gore is trying his hand at music? His band is called Algorithms.

(The trophies line is from Demetri Martin.)

That was the one I was trying to think of, can't believe I missed it.

theory · « **Reply #4 on:** December 12, 2012, 04:45:04 pm »

Oh and the one before that --

Given that Apple's last two hardware technologies are named Thunderbolt and Lightning, I expect the next one to be named Very Very Frightening.

PS: Come up with a good one-liner and I'll make it my next Gchat status!

Drab Emordnilap · « **Reply #5 on:** December 12, 2012, 04:50:15 pm »

Quote from: theory on December 12, 2012, 04:45:04 pm

PS: Come up with a good one-liner and I'll make it my next Gchat status!

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

ALTERNATIVELY

Never hit a man with glasses. Bottles are easier to swing.

Ozle · « **Reply #6 on:** December 12, 2012, 04:51:51 pm »

You can use my personal motto if you like?
"Eagles may soar....but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"

Cuzz · « **Reply #7 on:** December 12, 2012, 05:14:31 pm »

Shamelessly stolen from a friend's gchat status: "inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing."

jonts26 · « **Reply #8 on:** December 12, 2012, 05:21:01 pm »

Fights on moving staircases tend to escalate quickly.

ConMan · « **Reply #9 on:** December 12, 2012, 08:18:40 pm »

If a saint is de-sainted, is he fired from the canon?

Synthesizer · « **Reply #10 on:** December 13, 2012, 09:43:55 am »

Here's one from a certain someone called A. Einstein, regarding neat/organized people who tend to annoy the crap out of chaotic people like me with their unrelenting complaints about the state of my desk:

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

----

And another good one, especially for theory, from a certain W. Churchill:

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

michaeljb · « **Reply #11 on:** December 13, 2012, 02:12:53 pm »

From one of my Facebook friends the other day: "Just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to reverse and fleeing the scene."

Kuildeous · « **Reply #12 on:** December 14, 2012, 01:52:35 pm »

I've seen Peter Jackson's latest movie four times already! That's a hard hobbit to break.

ConMan · « **Reply #13 on:** December 16, 2012, 02:22:17 am »

Quote from: Kuildeous on December 14, 2012, 01:52:35 pm

I've seen Peter Jackson's latest movie four times already! That's a hard hobbit to break.

Don't get me started on hobbit puns. Irregular Webcomic managed to make just about all of them in its run.

theory · « **Reply #14 on:** February 15, 2013, 06:03:19 pm »

I'd tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it.

Java developers need glasses because they don't C#.

Bad news. I've looked up your symptoms on WebMD and it looks like you have ... "Network Connectivity Problems". (Andy Dwyer)

jonts26 · « **Reply #15 on:** February 15, 2013, 06:08:54 pm »

Quote from: theory on February 15, 2013, 06:03:19 pm

Bad news. I've looked up your symptoms on WebMD and it looks like you have ... "Network Connectivity Problems". (Andy Dwyer)

Not really a pun, but upvote for P&R.

eHalcyon · « **Reply #16 on:** February 16, 2013, 01:41:26 am »

Quote from: theory on February 15, 2013, 06:03:19 pm

I'd tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it.

Also works for UPS. /this dig is based on nothing; I'm not even American

^_^_^_^ · « **Reply #17 on:** February 16, 2013, 03:18:03 pm »

Working, but not on the railroad.

My take home pay doesn't take me home.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

They say hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance?

My doctor told me the good news: I am going to have a disease named after me.

Asia: 4 little letters, 4 billion little people

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

editing as I think up more

werothegreat · « **Reply #18 on:** February 16, 2013, 08:21:52 pm »

So a Palestinian and a Texan got married and named their first boy Yasir Yabetcha.

ConMan · « **Reply #19 on:** February 17, 2013, 07:40:37 pm »

I'm going to start a band of hipster coal miners. They'll be really underground.

I planned to call my band of hipster coal miners "Black Canary" but it died. That was probably my first warning sign.

I finally decided to call the band "Polonium". We're real heavy metal.

I tried to book "Polonium" into a gig, but apparently the club doesn't allow miners in.

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Author Topic: theory really needs to stop with the terrible puns on his gmail. (Read 4903 times)