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[ipofanes]

I put it into semi-interesting dominion moments, but this feels more appropriate.

Dear my opponent, I am sorry for Princing an Envoy on Turn 4.

I opened Envoy and Stockpile, drew Envoy/Stockpile on Turn 3, drew five coppers, bought Prince, drew Prince and Envoy on Turn 4, felt dirty.

[Jack Rudd]

Dear my opponent,

I am sorry for pulling Possession/Way of the Horse on you. Thank you for taking it in good spirit.

[mxdata]

Dear my opponent, I'm sorry that my Ghost turned over Mastermind.  And that on the turn where I got to Mastermind twice, I drew a hand with 3 Bridges and 2 Golds, letting me buy all 6 remaining Provinces and 2 Duchies in one turn

[ipofanes]

Dear My Opponent, I am sorry for the 5/2 I got in a game with Falconer, which delivered me a Potion, allowing me to buy a Turn 3 Familiar.

[ehunt]

no memory of this, but found this draft text document while cleaning up my desktop. anyway, sorry, opponent, that you had that bad hand and that i appeared very rude in the chat due to an error!!

===
my dominion adversary typed "my hand sux" and he indeed had a truly awful hand (four coppers and a horn of plenty)
so i typed "brutal" but forgot to hit enter
then i facecrushed him and at the end he typed gg and i typed gg and mashed enter
such that he saw brutalgg after the face crush

[silverspawn]

wouldn't worry too much about this. with a bit of charity, that could be understood as showing compassion for your opponent's bad luck

[Augie279]

Sorry for getting 9 Collections on a Poor House/WotHorse board. If it's any consolation, I'd never gotten 507 VP in a game prior to that.

[Awaclus]

And then I bought 4 Alliances in 11 turns, on a board where the most worthwhile strategy was Sea Witch big money.

[IsotropicWasBetter]

Dear everyone,
I am sorry that you can't play on Isotropic, as #isotropicwasbetter
On the plus side, at least it's better than Goko/Making Fun, as #gokowasworse

[GokoWasWorse]

On the plus side, at least it's better than Goko/Making Fun, as #gokowasworse

#gokowasworse is my hashtag, stop stealing it 
I want a divorce

[IWBIsBetter]

On the plus side, at least it's better than Goko/Making Fun, as #gokowasworse

#gokowasworse is my hashtag, stop stealing it 
I want a divorce

#isotropicwasbetterisbetterthanyou

[Awaclus]

I had a Canal.

[ehunt]

Turn 2 - pilayer
p starts their turn.
p plays 5 Coppers. (+$5)
p buys and gains a Cursed Village.
  p takes Locusts.
  p receives Locusts.
  p shuffles their deck.
  p trashes a Cursed Village.
  p gains a Herald.
  p discards Locusts.
p draws 5 cards.

Turn 3 - ehunt
e starts their turn.
e gains a Cursed Village. (Shaman)

[Snorka]

Dear my opponent,
I'm sorry about all those neverending turns with Ironworks and Experiment, and also Watchtower topdecking all the experiments that meant Goons just went crazy. Although maybe it's kinda your fault for not forfeiting earlier.

[Awaclus]

Dear my opponent,
I'm sorry about all those neverending turns with Ironworks and Experiment, and also Watchtower topdecking all the experiments that meant Goons just went crazy. Although maybe it's kinda your fault for not forfeiting earlier.

Dear opponent:

I'm sorry that you're a bad player and I crushed you,

Let me tell everyone about it.

[Snorka]

Dear opponent:

I'm sorry that you're a bad player and I crushed you,

Let me tell everyone about it.

Full transparency here, I lied a little. I was actually on the losing end of that game. Just salty and wanted to pretend my opponent at least felt bad about thwomping me.

[dirkdebeule]

Dear opponent,
Sorry I Ghosted a Reckless Quartermaster with still all Estates and Cemetries in play.

[AJD]

I don't blame my opponent for resigning after I gave them a Curse on each of the first six turns of the game.

(The board had Siren and Rush and I opened with $5.)

[DaveColMD]

Dear opponent I am sorry,
Opened 5/2
Turn 1 bought a Torturer
Turn 2 nil
Turn 3 Village
Turn 4 Tortured you and bought another Torturer
Turn 5 double torture
turn 6 double torture
turn 7 double torture
resigned.

That could not have been nastier if I was able to put my deck in the order I wanted.

[IWBisbetterisbetter]

On the plus side, at least it's better than Goko/Making Fun, as #gokowasworse

#gokowasworse is my hashtag, stop stealing it 
I want a divorce

#isotropicwasbetterisbetterthanyou

#isowasbetterisbetteraccountisbetterthanisowasbetteraccountandgokoisworseaccount

[valb_7k]

Dear my opponent: I'm sorry that literally every time you played your Vampire it helped me.
Haunting let me fix my two Workshops colliding with no village.
Bad Omens put all but one of my Mountain Villages in my discard, allowing me to play enough cards to activate my Leprechaun.
Famine revealed only Coppers which I shuffled back into my deck, saving me from a dud turn.
Locusts trashed a Curse you had given me earlier with Witch.