Why are Colony, Province, Duchy on the left, whereas estate is with curse on the right? (not that this is actually a real problem).
Because it's a Colony game. Normally it's Province Duchy Estate, Gold Silver Copper Curse. With Colonies, Estate doesn't fit there, and since you buy Copper/Estate/Curse less often than other cards, they're together there.
I assume there's mint, silver, copper, silver in play. Is this the opponent's cards played? I have to assume that's the case, and you've got copper, monument, colony, pawn, and gold in your hand.
Yes Mint etc. are opponent's cards in play, thus the person who took this picture wasn't making people wait.
I assume that avatar in the lower left corner represents you.
Yes.
Is the junk in the bottom right (there's a copper with an eye over it) your discard pile? If so, can we have any inkling as to how many cards are in it? I guess not, but in a real game, there's some indication of how big the stack is.
The trash is in the bottom right.
Above the avatar in the lower left, there's a rectangular box with a cardback and a number twelve. I assume this is your draw deck, and there's 12 cards in it.
Yes.
Why does this box have enough space for you to have another deck stacked up above that?
Discard pile.
Above that rectangle, there's another avatar, which is, I assume, your opponent. Next to that we see a silver, which is, I assume, the top card in his or her discard pile. There's a little tiny card below him. I assume that means he or she has at least one card left in the draw deck.
That's one card in his hand.
Where's the trash (maybe that's the thing on the lower left)?
Lower right.
Actually, how did we get to this game state?
Man I wasn't there, but it's not weird-looking. An opponent played Mint on something, then played some treasures and is considering what to buy. Meanwhile our hero has a hand that includes some stuff that must have looked good at the time.
More important, why can't I see how many cards my opponent has left in his hand?
You can.
What is that 1 in a VP chip thing in the lower left? I guess it's probably some kind of level thing relating to your user information.
It's a VP chip from playing Monument on a previous turn.
Duration cards go to the right of your deck, very small. Pirate Ship / Island / Native Village stuff is all over there to the right of your deck/discard.
Currently you can't actually see the trash - that eye lets you see all of the kingdom cards at once, without having to click on them individually, which you can also do. Being able to see the trash, like every other thing anyone will helpfully point out in that cute outraged way people have, is obv. needed and will obv. be done, obv., and no you are not the first one to think of this, hypothetical helpful outraged person.
When you have a million cards in play, they scrunch up, and that's fine, you can click on one if you really want to see it, but you just don't have to see them, you can see your total number of coins and buys and so on (to the left of cards in play), and you can see that cards are cheaper from Bridge and whatever. Anyway if you desperately need to know and there are a million, you can click on them to blow them up. When you have a million cards in your hand, they scrunch up, and I've never been unable to play my hand but if you try to push it it can be hard to tell some action cards apart without clicking on them, which you can do though.
Other opponents go above the displayed opponent. Opponent duration cards show up somewhere near the avatar, but certain other information like number of Pirate Ship tokens is not currently visible except when it increments. If anyone thinks this information will not become available unless they point it out personally, I am sad for the state of humanity.