Ok, since nobody seems to care that much about things, and since I don't have a lot of time to sink into re-doing everything soon, I'm just going to post the results. I've attached a file with all the bots that were submitted. Check out the bottom of the post.
Results, in alphabetical order:
Bot Record Overall percentage
CQMBWO By DG 9-2 73.87
Dstu-Chapel/Quarry/GM/Highway/Outpost 6-5 (5-3) 52.08 (54.11)
Drunk Marine Students 5 2-9 (2-6) 28.88 (36.81)
Go SMoKL by DG 6-5 49.02
Goons/Governor/Quarry 1-10 (1-7) 19.49 (24.05)
Ill-Gotten Gains/Gardens/Council Room 3-8 (2-6) 28.14 (30.64)
Ironworks Rush 10-1 (7-1) 78.24 (78.83)
KC-Bridge with Wharf* 5-5 (5-3) 52.69 (56.62)
SaW by DG** 5-4 60.87
Wharf/Hamlet/Bridge 1-10 (1-7) 10.95 (12.60)
blueblimp: Governor/Goons/Quarry/Masquerade/Fishing Village* 9-1 (8-0) 84.08 (88.07)
blueblimp: Ironworks/GH/Island/Lighthouse/Silk Road 7-4 (5-3) 65.29 (66.57)
The * represent how many of the matchups of that bot couldn't be finished. Basically, there's something with the SaW bot that for some reason can smash the simulator up sometimes. Not sure what the deal is exactly.
The parentheses represent the records of what happened if you take DG's bots out - they used starting conditions, so are technically 'illegal' - well, I don't know how much of an impact that has; on one of them, a lot, but overall, I don't know that if it's that much.
Anyway, you can see who's won already, but I'm going to talk a bit about the top few bots here.
CQMBWO: This bot is really really long. I actually had to get DG to resend the end of it, because it got cut off. Anyway, the cards it uses are quarry, worker's village, chapel, menagerie, and bridge. The idea is to build an engine capable of going mega pretty quickly, while looking to pile the game out if it can with a win at any point along the way. Interestingly, even though there are so many conditions, I'm guessing it's missing a LOT from how a human player would see it, in terms of piling out with a win. It's very hard to check everything, there are so many conditions. Of course, in the real matchups, your opponent is much more likely to pile out on you, too! This did use starting conditions, but given that it's 4/3, and that it wants a chapel pretty early anyway, I don't think this had a huge huge impact.
Ironworks Rush: A nice bot from the simulator-writer himself, Geronimoo. It's actually quite simple, quite possibly the simplest of all the bots I've seen in a long while for anything remotely competitive on the stupidly-powerful level. All it does is chapel down, gain lots of ironworks, then great halls, then islands, running piles super fast. I can't help but wonder if it would have been better if you could come up with a better 5th card than peddler. But anyway, it's extremely strong as is.
blueblimp: Governor/Goons/Quarry/Masquerade/Fishing Village: The winner, and well-deserved. Also fairly simple. The idea is to draw your whole deck with governor, play a goons, buy something, rinse and repeat, buying more FVs, Governors and Goons along the way, to achieve massive scores. Now, this deck benefits A LOT from being able to play goons into masquerade, which in the sim is going to mean stealing good cards, but them's the shakes - totally legal by the rules here.
I also want to mention Dstu's bot for a second - it is pretty cool, and of course quite strong, but it loses just over 20% of its games to everyone, and I don't just mean here. I mean, throw it up against a BM bot, it loses that much. What's the deal? Over-aggressive chapel trashing. I think this is fixable too, sadly? Someone want to explain how? Anyway, I don't think it's going to actually swing that many matchups in this tournament, but it's definitely something that made it look like it's a lot weaker than it is.
Also, only a handful of match-ups went to 100,000 games before getting a clear enough winner, and only one was close enough after that to call for more looks - Go SMoKL against KC-bridge with Wharf. Finally, these sims took tons more time than the stuff I normally simulate. All those buy rules were having me go over half a minute for several of the 10k sim matchups, whereas normally I'm in the ballpark of 10 seconds. You guys really know how to complicate things up