Once upon a time, there was a Stable boy named Wesley, who was in love with Buttercup. He set out to make his fortune, when he was beset upon by a Pirate Ship. Buttercup swore to never love again.
Alas, Prince Humperdinck took a shine to Buttercup and offered to make her his Princess. She agreed, of course; it's the freakin' prince, after all, but her heart wasn't in it. Little did she know that she would be a Pawn in his Scheme to wage war with a neighboring kingdom. She was kidnapped by a Sicilian, a Spaniard, and a giant.
To their surprise, they were being followed by the Man in Black, who defeated them one by one. Thinking that he was just another scoundrel, Buttercup shoved him down a hill, only to learn that the Man in Black was none other than Wesley, who donned the Masquerade of the Dread Pirate Roberts.
Wesley and Buttercup were surrounded by Humperdinck's men who were ready to strike. Not wanting to lose Wesley once more, Buttercup surrendered and agreed to marry Humperdinck. Wesley was betrayed by the six-fingered man and hidden away to be at the mercy of an albino Torturer.
The Spaniard and the giant felt bad for their roles in Buttercup's capture and Wesley's almost-death. They brought his almost-corpse to the home of an Alchemist and some woman who claims she's not a Witch; she's his wife. He was able to bring Wesley back to life (technically, True Love did that).
Together, Wesley, the Spaniard, and the giant assaulted the castle while the Bishop wed Humperdinck and Buttercup in holy mawwiage—though it didn't count since she didn't say, "I do." Humperdinck was promptly defeated, the heroes left the castle, and Wesley and Buttercup lived happily ever after.
The end.
Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot that Princess is not technically a Kingdom card. I don't want to change the story, so if the Princess bugs you, imagine the story expounding a bit more on the wedding Chapel.