So I'm not going to be intentionally mean or anything like that, but I'm not really going to sugar coat this post, because I don't think it will make much of a difference. Either AdamH will react to it negatively, or he will listen to the post and consider the points made in it. I don't think the tone I use makes much of a difference at this point.
Maybe you are under a lot of stress. Perhaps, it's work-related or that you're recently married
Look, I understand you don't mean this in an offensive way, but I'd really rather the rest of my life stay separated from this. The rest of my life is going just fine and I'm seeing this very clearly, I've had several weeks to read and re-read these PMs, I've talked to IRL friends who I trust more than anyone I've met on the internet. I would really appreciate it if my personal life didn't enter this discussion, it's none of anyone's business by my own and the people I choose to share it with.
Yes, my feelings are hurt. That tends to happen when people insult you personally. If it was just my feelings that were hurt, I don't think I'd be making such a stink about this. I've spent over a year working to make Dominion broadcasts like these better, I've come a long way and the only outlet I have for improvement is the League champion matches (nobody seems to want to have any other competitive Dominion out there because we have the League, which is fine). That work is being discarded and I have no other outlet for this -- I feel like there's something at stake here for me besides my own personal feelings.
But I don't want to make this personal -- my personal life is my own and not any of yours. Please keep it out of this. I thought I had actually brought this up publicly before, but it turns out I think that discussion happened in the League Staff sub-board and I no longer have access to it. In any case, now you all know, please don't make assumptions about my personal life; I take it... personally (ba dum tss).
So this isn't the first time people have said this. I've said it before, others have as well during the numerous negative threads on F.DS you've been involved in. Perhaps you're wondering why this comes up so often. It really has nothing to do with any of us wanting to make the debate personal, or taking shots at you, or anything like that.
Frankly, what's happening when people say this is that people are observing you having a disproportionately negative reaction to words, posts, or events in F.DS, and that you're stirring shit an order of magnitude more than the situation calls for. I mean, this particular case we can't (or at least initially couldn't) judge if you were making a mountain out of a molehill, but in other cases you've taken comments people have considered perfectly innocuous and read a degree of hostility in them no one else could, so I have to infer that it's happening here to some extent.
Anyway, when people see this strong, emotional response to events and perceived hardship blow up out of nowhere, they're asking about your personal life because frankly they don't understand how you could be so hotheaded and rushing to judgement based on the facts of the scenario alone. They are suspecting that you are stressed in other manners of your life, and that said stress is spilling over into your Dominion Strategy posts and interactions with others. The reason they are suspecting this is because
they are trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. They are trying to offer you an explanation for why you're acting out so much, an explanation that lets you save face and lets them continue to regard you highly. And frankly it doesn't always make much sense why you're reacting this way otherwise.
You don't have to tell us about your personal life here, that's not what we're asking of you at all, and ultimately only you can say if you've got other shit going on that's influencing the way you react to things, but honestly, after all this, maybe you just take everything fucking personally. I don't know anymore dude.
A lot of people have said that my words have no teeth without seeing the PMs. I agree, I'd think the same thing in your shoes. I've seen some ideas suggested here, most of them seem perfectly reasonable but I can't do all of them, you know? I'd like to know what people actually want to see before doing something un-undoable. If only people could put +1s on the posts whose ideas they liked... I'll reiterate -- I'm willing to share anything, I have nothing to hide, but I don't want to go posting something that I shouldn't have, and it's just not clear to me what I should post yet. Until that happens, it would be unreasonable of me to expect anyone to take my word over anyone else's.
This conclusion I'm coming to is a big stretch here, could be totally off base, but I have trouble understanding a different one. I think you're afraid that if you actually share the PMs you won't have as much support as you would if you didn't. You've seen it happen before - you feel wronged by others, lash out, but don't receive much support for it, and those are when the fights were in public when people could see everything. You say you want to post something you shouldn't, but you have repeatedly attacked Stef's character when he has said openly that he would much rather you post the PMs he sent rather than just saying he lacks integrity over and over again. The only reason I can think you aren't posting his PMs when you know that is actually preferred by him than how you are currently treating him, is if you think we won't be as sympathetic once you do. I just don't understand it.
As for creating a division on the board, or trying to take over the League for myself -- that's definitely not what I want. I never said I wanted that. Please read my posts carefully and you'll see exactly what I'm saying and what I want. Organizing the League was something I felt I had to put up with in order to do what I was good at, which was organizing the Champion matches -- at the end of season 11, Stef and I had a discussion and we both agreed that it made more sense for me to not be a full League moderator but still put together the champion matches.
My point is that organizing an online league or tournament isn't exactly at the top of my list -- I've been putting all of my efforts into my IRL scene (mostly because of Adventures) and there are plenty of people online who would rather help out with this. I don't want all of the power or the responsibility; I could probably handle it but I'd really rather not. I feel the League moderators have acted with a lack of integrity here severe enough that it would be dishonest of me not to tell the community, and I think the solution is that they don't moderate the League anymore. It is because they wouldn't want to step down that the League would be dissolved and something put in its place, but I'd really like for that to not be my problem, which is why I said the community should come up with it. I feel like I already typed all of this in my OP, though. Is something not clear?
You want a division on the board - you want the community to turn against the current League moderators. Don't deny that, it's what you're asking us to do. Stop playing in the League so that we can get new moderators. This is exactly what you said. This will divide the community between those who support the moderators and those who support you. You know this.
I'm questioning your integrity for reasons entirely unrelated to this. If you don't like it, then I'd suggest acting with integrity.
And those reasons are...? Because he didn't respond to a few PMs? What did the PMs he didn't respond to say? You should have no issue sharing THOSE, since those are a completely one way discussion, right? You created all that content. And regardless, Stef said he would rather you post his PMs than continue to just insult him like this. You're being a huge dick dude. Without knowing any of the story, just the way you are treating Stef
in this thread makes me and I think many others inclined to take his side.
You had not told me of the date or time of that champion match until like a day or two before it was happening -- I was not included in the discussion for when that match would take place which had happened previously
Point of clarification: Was this not posted in the forum for everyone to see several days in advance, like it always is?
Theory sees all of the reports regardless, I think. This thread belongs in the Dominion League board, not here. You couldn't edit posts there without it showing up that the post had been edited. Yes, you moving the topic here is a clear abuse of power, don't try and pretend that it isn't.
Dude, there's a redirect link created when he moves a thread. This isn't hidden from ANYONE. I saw it, and I never go here. If you have legitimate gripes, splitting hairs and being so damn petty isn't winning you any favors.
Look, after reading this whole thread Adam, all I can say is that, without knowing what happened, I can totally plausibly see how some moderators could have difficulty working with you and not want to include you in some aspects of planning the final match. Stef seems more than accomodating - for heaven's sake, while you were arguing (and it's not like Stef is the world's most argumentative person) he put aside your quarrels to ask the creator of Dominion if he would like to do commentary with you. I could totally see how literally anything negative said about you in PMs when you demanded to know why you were excluded was taken as an insult. I can totally see how at some point they decided no answer would satisfy you without resulting to more screaming about how they're insulting you. You're being really difficult here. Aren't we all kind of sick of this?
I'm sorry, dude. I enjoy your stream, I respect your opinions, I like your commentary, but please learn to work with people you don't see eye to eye with!
