I think e is V/La so I guess we'll just start without him.
It’s the Dark Ages. You’re not really sure what that means, but that’s what everyone keeps saying. Maybe it’s some kind of pun on those “knights” that have been raiding your town? But that seems like a stretch. Maybe it just has to do with the general misery everyone’s in. When will that obnoxious Beggar ever stop demanding your money? And what’s up with that guy who’s always hanging around the graves late at night? You like to pretend you don’t notice him, but he’s awkwardly loud and you’re worried one day he’ll try to strike up a conversation with you. You always assumed he was robbing those graves, but the other night you could have sworn you saw him putting something in there.
Maybe the kingdom is in such bad shape because the ruler is a moron. The other day, as you were passing through the Market Square, you overheard a merchant trying to sell him some Rats.
“Are you seriously considering paying for Rats?” the Count cried in frustration.
“It could be a worthwhile investment,” the ruler explained.
“What!? Name one thing you’re going to do with those Rats! One thing!”
“Well, I could Remodel them, or Upgrade them into more Counts, or we could hold a Procession for them…”
“You could even Butcher them into a Feast!” the merchant chimed in.
“Remodel Rats? I don’t even…” the Count stormed off in frustration. The ruler was clearly being suckered into a good sales pitch.
But these things seem to be the norm these days, and you just have to carry on as if everything’s fine. Pretend like you understand what the hell that Madman is talking about. Pretend like you don’t notice that guy standing next to you, copying everything you do. “I’m a Misfit!” he says, as if that explains everything. “No you’re not, you’re just some weird guy who copies everything I do.” These are the Dark Ages, and you just have to make the best of it.