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[sudgy]

Homeopaths do not drink water!  Don't you know that would pose a serious risk of overdosing?!

Spread the word! http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

[should I be using a spoiler tag?] Pages talking about DHMO are hilarious.  "It is a major component of acid rain."

[Awaclus]

Homeopaths do not drink water!  Don't you know that would pose a serious risk of overdosing?!

Spread the word! http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

[should I be using a spoiler tag?] Pages talking about DHMO are hilarious.  "It is a major component of acid rain."

My favorite part is "Married couples have found that regular ingestion of DHMO can improve their marriage-related activities, while couples that never ingest DHMO often find that their marriage suffers as well."

[florrat]

Studies have shown that even after careful washing, food and produce that has been contaminated by DHMO remains tainted by DHMO.

[ashersky]

The Wikipedia entry for that is also hilarious.

[Minotaur]

Homeopathic Cartographer
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  Put the revealed Victory cards into your hand.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.

[Sidsel]

Sociopathic Cartographer

Cost: 4

Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  Trash the revealed Victory cards.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.

[ConMan]

Psychopathic Cartographer
Cost: 4
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck. Trash them.

[ashersky]

Telepathic Cartographer
Cost: 4

Remove the victory cards from among the top four cards of your deck and place them in your hand without looking.

[Asper]

Hepatic Cartographer
Cost: 4
Drink something alcoholic.

[ConMan]

Empathic Cartographer
Cost: 4
Understand how the top 4 cards of your deck feel.

[Awaclus]

Apathetic Cartographer
Cost: 4
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck. Trash this.

[Minotaur]

Hemophiliac Cartographer

Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  If you get a paper cut, lose the game.

[ashersky]

Hemorrhagic Cartographer

Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck, causing a papercut and bleeding profusely all over them.  Put the bloody ones in your hand and return the rest in any order.

[sudgy]

Tired-of-these-jokes Cartographer

Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck, and trash all variations of Cartographer (but not Cartographer itself) there.  Put the rest back in any order.

[Axxle]

Forum Cartographer

Reveal the last 4 replies of this thread, trash all Cartographer jokes, put the rest back in any order.

[eHalcyon]

Do you guys realize that the very first one was actually a Scout joke?

[Axxle]

Do you guys realize that the very first one was actually a Scout joke?

I only looked at the last 4.

[Kirian]

Do you guys realize that the very first one was actually a Scout joke?

I only looked at the last 4.

And that's the first good joke since the original Scout/Carto joke.

[Eran of Arcadia]

This one came to me in a dream:

Silver Thread
Cost: 3$

Each other player who owns any object on the table or playing surface that is not related to Dominion, trashes their discard pile, hand, and any duration cards in play.

[Dsell]

This one came to me in a dream:

Silver Thread
Cost: 3$

Each other player who owns any object on the table or playing surface that is not related to Dominion, trashes their discard pile, hand, and any duration cards in play.

I win with the cards on my Island and Native Village mat.

[Marcory]

Land of Misfits
$5
Victory
When this is in play, treat this as if it were a Victory card in the supply costing less than this that you choose.


Hand of Misfits
$5
Reaction
React with this as if it were a Reaction in the supply that you choose

Brand of Misfits
$5
Treasure
Play this as if it were a treasure in the supply costing less than this that you choose

Ruined Band of Misfits
$1
Action
Play this as if it were the top Ruin in the supply

Stand of Misfits
$2
Action-Shelter-Reaction
When you draw this, you may reveal it. If you do, it acts as a Shelter that you choose until the end of your next Cleanup Phase.

 

[Dsell]

Eagle Scout
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  Put the revealed Victory cards into your hand.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.
---------
When you gain this, gain a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm proud of my Eagle Scout."

[Witherweaver]

Eagle Scout
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  Put the revealed Victory cards into your hand.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.
---------
When you gain this, gain a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm proud of my Eagle Scout."

And here I thought there was no room for new Scout jokes.

Cub Scout
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top card of your deck.  If it is a Victory card, put into your hand.
---------
If you successfully reveal a victory card with Cub Scout, attach the Navigator Activity Badge to your sash.

Boy Scout
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top two cards of your deck.  Put the revealed Victory cards into your hand.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.
---------
If you successfully reveal a victory card with Cub Scout, attach the Surveying Merit Badge to your sash.

[Dsell]

Alternatively...

Eagle Scout
Cost: 4

+1 Action
Reveal the top 4 cards of your deck.  Put the revealed Victory cards into your hand.  Put the other cards on top of your deck in any order.
---------
When you gain this, gain a superiority complex.

[Ozle]

Are those real badges? You can have a +1 if they are...