Endless discussions, a bazillion of argument and counter-arguments, heated exchanges – but still no conclusion. What is reality – is it grounded solely in matter, or does it only exist in our minds? Since the beginning of philosophy, two schools of thought stand opposing: The Idealists, who claim that the reality we can know of is only mental, and the Naturalists, in whose opinion all that is real is simply a result of physical interactions.
Finally, this conflict should be brought to an end. The greatest minds of all time were invited to a conference in the ivory tower, where they planned to lock themselves in until an agreement was found.
The conference started out badly. Every single attendant already held a firm conviction in this matter, and barely anyone was willing to concede the tiniest bit to the other faction.
As the discussion was at its worst point, John Rawls stepped forward. "This is leading nowhere!", he yelled. "We need another method to solve this problem. Luckily, I have already developed one. In my book 'A Theory of Justice'..."
At this point Friedrich Nietzsche cut him off sharply. He rose from his chair and exclaimed: "Justice! What is justice but an empty word, brought to us by lower, weaker humans that seek to prevent the arrival of the Übermensch!"
"For Christ's sake, Nietzsche, just let the man finish!", answered René Descartes. "Christ is dead", murmured Nietzsche as he unwillingly returned to his seat.
"Well, where was I?", continued Rawls. "Ah yes, my method. See, I brought with me this 'veil of ignorance'. We are all far too concerned with our personal animosities against each other. If we all hide behind this veil, we will not know each other's identities. That way, we are able to continue our discussion on a more objective basis."
Soon everyone agreed that this was the way they should proceed, and it was determined that, come the next Day, all would hide behind the veil and thus be unknown to each other.
In the night however, three supporters of the Naturalist concept, Thomas Hobbes, David Hume and Karl Marx, met secretly in the hallway. "I fear that with this plan proposed by Rawls, our views will fail to reach consensus", said Hobbes. "Too many here are ignorant towards the way the world really works."
"What we need is nothing less than a revolution", agreed Marx. "If we just erase the other's material existence, we'll see what is left of their claimed 'mental reality'. Listen, I have found a way for us to escape this veil of ignorance..."
At the start of the next day, as the attendees of the conference, shrouded in the veil of ignorance, got out of their chambers, they found John Rawls lying on the conference table, stabbed in the back with a black dagger. Everyone looked around, but the veil prevented them from knowing each other's true identity.
"It appears that our famed justice theorist became a victim of his own idea", remarked Zeno of Citium stoically. "I guess we better look for those who committed this crime."
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Topic: MXL: The Philosopher's Mafia (Serial Killer wins!) (Read 130402 times)