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[GendoIkari]

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

I have this problem wherein
there's nothing that rhymes with "errand".
This lack of a rhyme
gives me a hard time
writing a poem about Baron!

The only other thing that rhymes with "baron" is "heron."  So far, there aren't any birds in Dominion.

You want to write about Baron
But its rhyme space is totally barren
With great unease
you try Charlize
But that's just a red herrin'.

On your first turn you buy a Baron,
Hoping that with Estates they'll be parin'
But then you draw your hand,
and you just don't understand,
At 4 coppers with your action you are starin'!

[Voltgloss]

I planned to spam Estates and Baron;
You might say, to go I was rarin'.
But those Ill-Gotten-Gains
Struck me dead with curs'd pains!
...My Coppers?  They all went to Charon.

[theory]

Why the hell did we do a Dominion-playing tournament when we could have had a Dominion Literary tournament instead?

[mischiefmaker]

Why the hell did we do a Dominion-playing tournament when we could have had a Dominion Literary tournament instead?

When making up limericks, man
You've got to have some kind of plan
Or else you may find
You have a last line
That doesn't scan

I've been part of other community limerick-creating events, and even with clear instructions to do so, nearly half the submissions didn't scan.

Creating true limericks is quite a bit harder than it looks.

</wet blanket>

[jotheonah]

this one got a little weird trying to make it rhyme:

The Governor looks pretty fun
It's three tasty cards in one bun
But when buying, recall,
that though you get it all,
Your opponent get all minus one.

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

[AJD]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

[Voltgloss]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

Cartographers can save your neck
By cleaning the top of your deck.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your deck may be wrecked into dreck.

[tlloyd]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

This is excellent. One of the best so far in my opinion, both lyrically and strategically. 

[tlloyd]

My twist:

Two Masquerades and big money,
Is a highly advanced strategy,
But you must show discretion,
Lest your foe buy Possession,
And pass himself your Colony!

[AJD]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

This is excellent. One of the best so far in my opinion, both lyrically and strategically. 

Thank you! 

[HiveMindEmulator]

Okay, time to bump this...

Saboteur
At times, Sab’s attack can seem horrid,
especially when it’s King’s Courted.
But in typical games,
it’s really quite tame,
and often it’s best to ignore it.

Cutpurse
He's supposed to be some sort of robber,
but Cutpurse is kind of a jobber.
He'll pick your pocket
but only make off wit'
one single piece of your copper.

[Silverback]

I'm not a native speaker, so no limericks from me. Just props for your work. I liked Ghost ship the most.

[Peeves]

Alchemist

My opponents alchemist chains
Are making me go insane
I've been here for a week
And though I'm a geek
I really cant stand all the strain!

[ehunt]

A player who looks like an elf
left the mandarin pile on the shelf:
"I won't defeat Michael
by delaying a cycle
in order to ghost ship myself!"

Late game that elf's plans hit a wreck
when Michael said "oh what the heck -
it's a little bit touchy,
but I'll pass up a duchy
to leave these two golds on my deck."

[Avin]

Stables (based on an actual hand I drew)
My engine's completion enables
my deck to now turn the tables.
I'll win this game yet!
But what do I get?
A hand that consists of five stables.

Scheme
I scheme and I scheme and I scheme,
I conspire as much as I deem,
and then play my witch!
Oh this will be rich,
I think of my next turns agleam.

I scheme and I scheme and I dream.
Conspirators love my regime.
I give you a curse,
Your retort is much worse.
There's no need to be so extreme.

I scheme and I beam and you scream!
Your deck starts to lose all its steam.
The curse pile runs out.
I'm mostly without.
The game is now over it seems.

[ehunt]

Governor

You're a governor noob, and I know this sounds snobby,
but you've drawn me six cards - you should get a new hobby.
Your play is too bold --
- you do WHAT to four golds?
but on my turn I'll- [Opp has returned to the lobby].

[werothegreat]

I can't wait for the coming Dark Ages
For this expansion, this forum's old sages
Will start threads 'bout new cards
But the faves will be the bards'
New limericks scrawled on these pages.

[Death to Sea Hags]

Torturer

This torturer's play was quite rude,
He threatened my hand to denude.
No longer a pain -
No curses remain!
Just a Smithy with bad attitude

[CaptainNevada]

Tactician

Sometimes the battle is won
By discarding your hand down to none
If Black Market's in play
It allows you to pay
For a card before your next turn's begun

[Galzria]

Thief

Noone gives love to the Thief
For his crimes are beyond disbelief
Some say he's no good
WW says misunderstood
But we all know Noble Brigand is chief.

[Piemaster]

Duchess

My opponent was laughing at me
When I opened with Duchess for 3
I realise his meaning
Now I've started greening
I don't even want one for free

[HiveMindEmulator]

So I've decided to necro this because the Dark Ages Limerick thread got me to realize that it could be fun to write Limericks not about cards, but about forum events! So here goes...

Funsockets Beta
I was glad to get into the beta,
for nothing on earth could be greater
than to make Forum topics
'bout how it's not isotropic
and just be a Funsockets hater!

Point Counter
Who'd have thought that a point counter tiff
could cause such a forum-wide rift?
"It makes the game neater!"
"No, you're just a cheater!"
[img]popcorn.gif|

[mail-mi]

/necro

Forager
There once was a card from Dark Ages.
Which was better than Urchins and Sages
Put coins in the Trash
Like Quarry and Stash
And the For'ger will pay you his wages.

[Drab Emordnilap]

I can transplant from the power outage haiku thread too. :p


There once was a card from Prosperity
Which caused confusion with celerity
To buy Mine is bold
With a Silver and Gold
But instead to buy Mint is hilarity


And a new one:


I play Village drawing a Village
And another Village draws a Village
Now my coins I disclose
Three Coppers? I suppose
That there's no harm in buying a Village?

[dominator 123]

At the start of the game I told,
Torturers and Ghost Ships are sold
But what's this I'm seeing
He isn't complaining
No wonder--He has gotten a Moat!