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[HiveMindEmulator]

Inspired by this thread, I decided to create my own poetry thread! Haiku's are nice and poetic, but I'm a simple man. I like poems that rhyme. So I decided to contruct some Limericks, and I'd love to read some of yours!

Masquerade
I built up my deck in a flash:
Masquerade and tons of cash.
But when my foe played
King's Court/Goons/Masquerade,
it all ended up in the trash!

Torturer
It was just like militia at first,
but it got progressively worse.
Mass torturer play
makes my hands go away.
I guess I should just take the curse...

Fairgrounds
Provinces were his to collect,
but the thing that he did not expect
was that with my fairgrounds
I would also compound
20 cards from the black market deck!

Ghost Ship
A ghost ship at the side of the sea
reduces hand sizes to three,
and when played every turn
will quite often earn
a rage-quit without a gg!

[HiveMindEmulator]

OK, I made 3 more:

Bridge
I was up 27 to 3,
but the one who would lose would be me.
Can't believe what I saw.
He managed to draw
triple bridge and a pair of KCs!

Black Market
Cursers? the kingom had none.
But as soon as the game had begun,
in the market of black
he found that witch attack.
So the curses, I took every one.

Jack-of-all-Trades
Tell me what's the point of attacks
when he can simply ignore and relax?
Trash every curse,
draw and spy first,
with nothing but money and jacks?

[tlloyd]

Tactician
The own-hand discarding Tactican,
Is an engine in need of ignition.
Vault or ‘Chamber can spark it.
Still better: Black Market.
You’ll be drawing cards like a magician!

Ambassador
It’s a card that you cannot ignore.
If you lose the Ambassador war,
You’ll think things can’t get worse,
‘Til your foe buys a curse,
And you end with a negative score.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Goons
Goons are no subject for jokin'
My friend and I still haven't spoken
since the time I was rude
and in one game acrued
200 victory tokens.

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

Sea Hag
I used my sea hag attack
to put curses on top of his stack.
But they never stayed.
For with his masquerade,
he passed all the curses right back.

City
My deck build-up took quite a while,
but I plan on winning in style
with level 3 cities.
But oh what a pity!
The game has just ended on piles!

Warehouse
It just didn't work out as planned
When mass warehouses I spammed.
I drew and I drew,
but when I was through,
I had to discard my whole hand!

Mint
I drew 5 coppers all at one time.
I thought I mint buy was in line.
Then they’d all be gone,
but boy was I wrong,
as that “mint” turned out to be “mine”!

[tlloyd]

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

I note a general tone of frustration in your limericks--if only all of us could vent our Dominion rage in such an artistic fashion! And I bet I can guess how your limerick for Witch would go...   

[tlloyd]

Pawn
My opponent's quite-flexible Pawn
Costs me minutes each time it is drawn.
For he just can't decide:
Card, coin, action or buy?
Wake me when he's made up his mind. Yawn!

Scout
I had such great plans for my Scout.
Thought I'd root all my vic'try cards out.
It turned out not to be
Such a great strategy:
All I got was a vic'try card drought.

Possession
It's time that I made a confession:
I can't stand the effects of Possession.
To leach off my success
And make his deck a mess
Becomes my opponent's obsession.

[Anon79]

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

Gotta wonder, was this a real game? (I recognised the Mine/Mint one.) 'Cos to get 39 coin, means that likely there were 2 silver with the 7 coppers...

[HiveMindEmulator]

I note a general tone of frustration in your limericks--if only all of us could vent our Dominion rage in such an artistic fashion! And I bet I can guess how your limerick for Witch would go...   

Haha. Thanks . I just think the frustration tone lends itself well to comedy, since we've all experienced situations like these.

Coppersmith
The throne room/lab/coppersmith guy
drew his deck and made coppers worth 5.
But then screamed out "F@#$!"
"I've got 39 bucks
and no f@#$ing source of +buy!"

Gotta wonder, was this a real game? (I recognised the Mine/Mint one.) 'Cos to get 39 coin, means that likely there were 2 silver with the 7 coppers...

Haha, no, I think it's a bit over-dramaticized, but 39 instead of 35 gives that sense of realism

And just to add a couple more:

City
My deck buildup took quite a while,
but I plan to win mega-turn style
with level 3 cities.
But oh what a pity!
The game has just ended on piles!

Swindler
With 5/2 I though I was lucky.
But soon I would feel pretty sucky,
when my turn 1 witch
was on turn 3 switched
by a swindler into a duchy!

[Davio]

Smithy
A faithful servant of metal and fire
His blackened hands will never tire
He gives me three
And does it for free
When the times are most dire

[rspeer]

When making up limericks, man
You've got to have some kind of plan
Or else you may find
You have a last line
That doesn't scan

[jimjam]

Lookout
A counter to opening sea hag
I reduced curses to slag
It was quite slick
A couple of clicks
I had the game in the bag

I was so eager just to trash
It proved, finally, quite rash
I had to wince
All three: "Province"
And one went away in a flash

[Geronimoo]

Familiar
Ik zag een vreemd wezen uit Ende
't was raar, geen Oude Bekende
Familiar, heet ik
zei het met een snik
Vertalingen zijn soms zwaar ellende

I couldn't do it in English, because it's about the horrible translation of the Familiar in Dutch.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Fool's Gold
This 2 dollar treasure looks cool.
The though of 4 coin makes you drool.
But it's really no fun
if you only draw one.
That's why its the gold of the fool!

Noble Brigand
With 2 coppers in the first hand,
for 5 on turn 2 I had planned.
But what did I see?
I only had 3
for he bought a noble brigand!

Duke
I noticed his plan much too late.
Of the duchies, he got 6 of 8.
Though Dukes split 4/4
his gained province score,
while mine were just double estates.

Expand
With expand I have been told
that for provinces 5s can be sold.
But with every expand
I draw 5 cash in hand.
I should have just purchased a gold!

[Axxle]

Remodel
I decided to Turbo Remodel
For it was a tactic I coddle
I 'modeled away
But to my dismay
It was more of a Remodel Toddle

[jotheonah]

Alchemist

Should on your board alchemist pop,
Buy them all fast and don't stop.
Did your foe miss the split?
Then they'll prob'ly rage quit
As you slowly put each back on top.

Vault

If Vault is in play, some advice
I know Council Room looks real nice
But you'll certainly wince
When I buy a Province
Every time you play Council Room twice

This is a fun game.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Tunnel
Minion was my choice of action,
but did not work to my satisfaction.
My attacks every turn
allowed him to earn
mass gold with the tunnel reaction.

Mountebank
With each play of his Mountebank,
I feel that I ought to say "thanks,"
Although it seems funny,
he's giving me money
and fueling my counting house/bank!

Counting House
It's clear to me that I am cursed.
My shuffle luck must be the worst.
As I shuffle my deck,
I can always expect
my counting house to be drawn first!

[jotheonah]

Amen to that last one!

Gardens

On a Kingdom with lots of plus buyin'
I made every last Copper my-in.
Crammed every last card in
To feed hungry Gardens
But ended with just fifty-ny-in.

[Jorbles]

I love that these all have little lessons in them.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Apprentice
With apprentice I'm sometimes too rash.
To keep drawing, I trash and I trash.
Gold for 6! Silver, 3!
Province, 8! Look at me!
Oops! I'm all out of cash...

Crossroads
This crossroads card is just great!
I draw 4, and then 6, and then 8!
With drawing aplenty,
I've drawn up to 20!
Too bad all my cards are estates...

Duchess
Duchess is spy the wrong way.
It treats foes as friends when you play.
But that really sucks.
It’s not worth the 2 bucks.
They have to just give them away!

[jotheonah]

I wonder if a limerick for every card is too lofty a goal?

[HiveMindEmulator]

^I think so. We have like 30, but it's easier to do these first few than the next 100+. At some point, you run out of rhymes. Looking back, in just 20 limericks, there are a lot of rhymes I reused (cash/trash, first/worst/curse, play/away, turn/earn, planned/hand, eight/estate). There are only so many words you can use to describe dominion!

[jotheonah]

True. And literally the moment it stops being fun you stop doing it.

Although I've already resorted to slant rhyme in my Gardens one, so that should expand the options a little.

[tlloyd]

What we need to keep this going are challenges! I challenge someone to write the limerick for Scrying Pool.

[rspeer]

It seems like when I buy the Scrying Pool
It turns into an overpriced spying tool.
But when I ignore it,
My rival goes for it
And spams it until I'm a crying fool.

[jotheonah]

Terrific idea (and terrific answer!) I propose that when someone answers a limerick challenge, they offer a new challenge. Who wants to have a go at Embargo?

[ehunt]

Terrific idea (and terrific answer!) I propose that when someone answers a limerick challenge, they offer a new challenge. Who wants to have a go at Embargo?

A noobish young player named Margot
opened pawns at a tourney in Fargo.
She was aiming for peddler,
but I knew to unsettle her
with a perfectly well-timed embargo.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Talisman
If cheap cards you would like to score,
Talisman helps you get more.
But one is enough.
You don't want to stuff
your deck with nothing but 4s.

Nobles
3 cards or 2 actions, your pick.
But don't rush for nobles too quick.
You won't get too far
by using 2 cards
just to increase your handsize to 6.

[Glooble]

Young Witch

I know most of the time it will seem,
If you don't get a curser you're creamed.
But if Young Witch is all,
it may be a bad call,
to pick up if the bane card is Scheme

[jimjam]

awesome limerick, Glooble!

[jotheonah]

Torturer

One Torturer's kind of a drag
To choose 'twixt Militia and Hag
But play four in a row
And you either have no
Cards left or a deck full of slag

But what's this you're doing, by George?
Taking curse after curse into storage
It isn't that hard,
After two, just discard -
Oh wait, you're holding a Forge

[meshuggah42]

Embargo

Third round and in hand a copy I hold
Adding a Curse to each Minion sold
But he is too crafty
Going for Big Money
Oh, crap, I should have put it on Gold.

Edit: Eh, ehunt was faster...

[HiveMindEmulator]

Golem
Mass card-drawing was my ambition.
For drawers my golem was fishing.
I drew quite a hand.
It was working as planned,
'til the dumb golem found a tactician.

Stash
When it's time for the cards to be mixed,
my stashes become the first picks.
But if someone reacts
with discard attacks,
my hand is worth no more than 6.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Trader
You can ask of a rules know-it-all:
When ironworks gains a great hall,
do you get card and action
after trader reaction?
Even Donald cannot make that call!

Alternatively:

Can someone tell me what to do?
I really just don't have a clue.
I play ironworks
but a trader inserts
a silver for my dog of blue!
(reference: http://boardgamegeek.com/article/7743728#7743728)

Yet another:

On this topic I feel defeated.
I don't know what action is needed.
Walk and then feed
were the tasks we agreed,
but if I don't walk the dog, do I feed it?

[tlloyd]

Trader
You can ask of a rules know-it-all:
When ironworks gains a great hall,
do you get card and action
after trader reaction?
Even Donald cannot make that call!

Alternatively:

Can someone tell me what to do?
I really just don't have a clue.
I play ironworks
but a trader inserts
a silver for my dog of blue!
(reference: http://boardgamegeek.com/article/7743728#7743728)

Yet another:

On this topic I feel defeated.
I don't know what action is needed.
Walk and then feed
were the tasks we agreed,
but if I don't walk the dog, do I feed it?

Despite addressing only about 1% of what Trader does, these limericks are my favorites by far. Props.

[Voltgloss]

Transmute

I Transmuted Estates to Gold,
And Coppers for more 'Mutes I sold.
Then 'Muting the 'Mutes -
My Duchies are beauts!
...you're 6 Provinces up?  I fold.

[werothegreat]

Loftiest of all Action targets
A card that promotes such largesse
To get one is hard
So try to discard
Your coppers to get the Grand Markets.

Much like the proverbial pringle
Grand Markets don't long stay single
For once one has popped
The fun can't be stopped
With ten, you'll have colonies for shingles.

[jotheonah]

Tournament

As a card, Tournament's pretty touchy
To use it you have to get lucky
If you just try to spam
And don't have a plan
Then have fun with that top-decked Duchy

Challenge: Come up with limericks for the Prizes. Bonus points if you have two bad rhymes for Diadem.

[theory]

My favorite Prize is Diadem
No one usually takes them
But with a City
it's not so s**ty
With +Buy it can cause mayhem

[rinkworks]

Followers

Chapel/Tourney to Followers creates
Circumstances of mean dire straits.
I hurt my opponent,
But then, in a moment,
I found myself swamped with Estates!

[HiveMindEmulator]

Bag of Gold
I'm losing like it's not even funny.
I took Bag of Gold like a dummy.
Not Followers first.
The attack really hurts,
but who can resist bags of money?

[Voltgloss]

Princess

With my Princess I was quite thrill't
To buy cheap what's normally gilt.
From King's Court I trumpet
"Get tripled, ye strumpet!"
...'tis Bridges I should have had built.

[werothegreat]

As much as you may want to try-a-dem
With prizes, you have to be sly-wi'-dem
If you pass up Followers
You'll wish you were a wallower
In poo, because you went with Diadem.

Whenever in desperate need
We all seem to have agreed
While there might only be one
It's a steroid-ed Pawn
Can't go wrong with that Trusty Steed.

[jotheonah]

Well that didn't take long. Nice work, team.

[tlloyd]

Another go at Princess:

At the tourney I won a Princess.
She helps me buy more cards for less.
But why should a woman,
Have this trait in common,
With a highway or bridge? I can't guess.

[Meserach]

A Bridge helps you get places quicker,
A Highway makes your passage slicker,
So the princess most chaste
Must induce greater haste
With an inspiring flash of her kincker!

[Meserach]

Treasure Map

The map's often lacking in power
As too often the shuffle goes sour
So behold my despair
When my foe bought a pair
And twice revealed Watchtower

[werothegreat]

My chosen supply will often host
The remarkably useful Trading Post
Get rid of Estates
Hey, these Silvers are great!
And then, of Provinces, I'll have the most.

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

[HiveMindEmulator]

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

I have this problem wherein
there's nothing that rhymes with "errand".
This lack of a rhyme
gives me a hard time
writing a poem about Baron!

[werothegreat]

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

I have this problem wherein
there's nothing that rhymes with "errand".
This lack of a rhyme
gives me a hard time
writing a poem about Baron!

The only other thing that rhymes with "baron" is "heron."  So far, there aren't any birds in Dominion.

[theory]

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

I have this problem wherein
there's nothing that rhymes with "errand".
This lack of a rhyme
gives me a hard time
writing a poem about Baron!

The only other thing that rhymes with "baron" is "heron."  So far, there aren't any birds in Dominion.

You want to write about Baron
But its rhyme space is totally barren
With great unease
you try Charlize
But that's just a red herrin'.

[GendoIkari]

Conflicting with this is the Baron
Who's most often sent on this errand:
Get Estates out of hand
Plus 4 cash I command!
Something about Charlize Theron?

Forget orange, nothing rhymes with chamber or errand!

I have this problem wherein
there's nothing that rhymes with "errand".
This lack of a rhyme
gives me a hard time
writing a poem about Baron!

The only other thing that rhymes with "baron" is "heron."  So far, there aren't any birds in Dominion.

You want to write about Baron
But its rhyme space is totally barren
With great unease
you try Charlize
But that's just a red herrin'.

On your first turn you buy a Baron,
Hoping that with Estates they'll be parin'
But then you draw your hand,
and you just don't understand,
At 4 coppers with your action you are starin'!

[Voltgloss]

I planned to spam Estates and Baron;
You might say, to go I was rarin'.
But those Ill-Gotten-Gains
Struck me dead with curs'd pains!
...My Coppers?  They all went to Charon.

[theory]

Why the hell did we do a Dominion-playing tournament when we could have had a Dominion Literary tournament instead?

[mischiefmaker]

Why the hell did we do a Dominion-playing tournament when we could have had a Dominion Literary tournament instead?

When making up limericks, man
You've got to have some kind of plan
Or else you may find
You have a last line
That doesn't scan

I've been part of other community limerick-creating events, and even with clear instructions to do so, nearly half the submissions didn't scan.

Creating true limericks is quite a bit harder than it looks.

</wet blanket>

[jotheonah]

this one got a little weird trying to make it rhyme:

The Governor looks pretty fun
It's three tasty cards in one bun
But when buying, recall,
that though you get it all,
Your opponent get all minus one.

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

[AJD]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

[Voltgloss]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

Cartographers can save your neck
By cleaning the top of your deck.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your deck may be wrecked into dreck.

[tlloyd]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

This is excellent. One of the best so far in my opinion, both lyrically and strategically. 

[tlloyd]

My twist:

Two Masquerades and big money,
Is a highly advanced strategy,
But you must show discretion,
Lest your foe buy Possession,
And pass himself your Colony!

[AJD]

challenge: In an aborted idea for this, I originally had the middle lines "But if the board has Possession / Then show some discretion" Can someone write a limerick about any card that uses these lines?

The Ambassador's tactful but mean:
An attacking, deck-thinning machine.
But if the board has Possession
Then show some discretion
Or your rivals may steal all your green.

This is excellent. One of the best so far in my opinion, both lyrically and strategically. 

Thank you! 

[HiveMindEmulator]

Okay, time to bump this...

Saboteur
At times, Sab’s attack can seem horrid,
especially when it’s King’s Courted.
But in typical games,
it’s really quite tame,
and often it’s best to ignore it.

Cutpurse
He's supposed to be some sort of robber,
but Cutpurse is kind of a jobber.
He'll pick your pocket
but only make off wit'
one single piece of your copper.

[Silverback]

I'm not a native speaker, so no limericks from me. Just props for your work. I liked Ghost ship the most.

[Peeves]

Alchemist

My opponents alchemist chains
Are making me go insane
I've been here for a week
And though I'm a geek
I really cant stand all the strain!

[ehunt]

A player who looks like an elf
left the mandarin pile on the shelf:
"I won't defeat Michael
by delaying a cycle
in order to ghost ship myself!"

Late game that elf's plans hit a wreck
when Michael said "oh what the heck -
it's a little bit touchy,
but I'll pass up a duchy
to leave these two golds on my deck."

[Avin]

Stables (based on an actual hand I drew)
My engine's completion enables
my deck to now turn the tables.
I'll win this game yet!
But what do I get?
A hand that consists of five stables.

Scheme
I scheme and I scheme and I scheme,
I conspire as much as I deem,
and then play my witch!
Oh this will be rich,
I think of my next turns agleam.

I scheme and I scheme and I dream.
Conspirators love my regime.
I give you a curse,
Your retort is much worse.
There's no need to be so extreme.

I scheme and I beam and you scream!
Your deck starts to lose all its steam.
The curse pile runs out.
I'm mostly without.
The game is now over it seems.

[ehunt]

Governor

You're a governor noob, and I know this sounds snobby,
but you've drawn me six cards - you should get a new hobby.
Your play is too bold --
- you do WHAT to four golds?
but on my turn I'll- [Opp has returned to the lobby].

[werothegreat]

I can't wait for the coming Dark Ages
For this expansion, this forum's old sages
Will start threads 'bout new cards
But the faves will be the bards'
New limericks scrawled on these pages.

[Death to Sea Hags]

Torturer

This torturer's play was quite rude,
He threatened my hand to denude.
No longer a pain -
No curses remain!
Just a Smithy with bad attitude

[CaptainNevada]

Tactician

Sometimes the battle is won
By discarding your hand down to none
If Black Market's in play
It allows you to pay
For a card before your next turn's begun

[Galzria]

Thief

Noone gives love to the Thief
For his crimes are beyond disbelief
Some say he's no good
WW says misunderstood
But we all know Noble Brigand is chief.

[Piemaster]

Duchess

My opponent was laughing at me
When I opened with Duchess for 3
I realise his meaning
Now I've started greening
I don't even want one for free

[HiveMindEmulator]

So I've decided to necro this because the Dark Ages Limerick thread got me to realize that it could be fun to write Limericks not about cards, but about forum events! So here goes...

Funsockets Beta
I was glad to get into the beta,
for nothing on earth could be greater
than to make Forum topics
'bout how it's not isotropic
and just be a Funsockets hater!

Point Counter
Who'd have thought that a point counter tiff
could cause such a forum-wide rift?
"It makes the game neater!"
"No, you're just a cheater!"
[img]popcorn.gif|

[mail-mi]

/necro

Forager
There once was a card from Dark Ages.
Which was better than Urchins and Sages
Put coins in the Trash
Like Quarry and Stash
And the For'ger will pay you his wages.

[Drab Emordnilap]

I can transplant from the power outage haiku thread too. :p


There once was a card from Prosperity
Which caused confusion with celerity
To buy Mine is bold
With a Silver and Gold
But instead to buy Mint is hilarity


And a new one:


I play Village drawing a Village
And another Village draws a Village
Now my coins I disclose
Three Coppers? I suppose
That there's no harm in buying a Village?

[dominator 123]

At the start of the game I told,
Torturers and Ghost Ships are sold
But what's this I'm seeing
He isn't complaining
No wonder--He has gotten a Moat!

[AndrewisFTTW]

I once played Dominion in France,
I happened to win just by chance,
I struck up a song,
And not before long,
We all did the safety dance.

[HiveMindEmulator]

Rogue
I'm winning, but wait just a sec...
My opponent bought Rogue, what the heck?
He Thrones to play twice.
Now that isn't nice,
He's stealing the cards from my deck!

Procession
I'll give mass Procession a try.
Play Fortress twice and gain a 5.
Oh what a feeling,
I'm Celestial Chameleon!
I'll empty out the whole supply!

Hermit/Market Square
Mass Hermit? Are you insane?
Okay, that's a nice Madman chain.
What is that there?
Discard Market Square,
And oh all Golds you can gain!

Death Cart
Mass Death Cart seemed worth pursuin'
But I didn't know what I was doin'
I get 5 coins cash
but it goes in the trash
And my deck is now chock full of Ruins!

[terminalCopper]

Rats

Oh Lord, my deck is a shame
I wonder who is to blame
Only rats I can see -
the problem might be
Lord Bottington is my name.

[qdread]

A level 1 player named Gerald
Tried to draw his whole deck with a Herald-
Conspirator chain,
Alas! 'Twas in vain!
Too much Silver! His win was imperiled.

[AndrewisFTTW]

I can't believe nobody liked my limerick! Doesn't anybody listen to Men Without Hats!?

[Piemaster]

I have fond memories of the song, I just didn't really understand it's relevance to Dominion or France.  I guess I'm missing something.

[WalrusMcFishSr]

[AndrewisFTTW]

Not sure if Walrus is making fun of me or recognizing the brilliance of the safety dance. I'll +1 it anyway.

There's no connection, it just happened to fit.

[terminalCopper]

Scheme

Scheme is a village machine
if you throne it (and both will be schemed)
Just never divide
them and term's won't collide
It's called "A torturers dream".

[WalrusMcFishSr]

Not sure if Walrus is making fun of me or recognizing the brilliance of the safety dance. I'll +1 it anyway.

There's no connection, it just happened to fit.

Nah man Safety Dance is legit! More than anything I was impressed that I could google "that guy safety dance gif" and get exactly what I was looking for

[terminalCopper]

The Province Fool

Accidentally, your engine grabs 8
You're thinking "A province! How great!"
But you should better stay cool,
don't be a province fool!
for only patient engines get paid.

[qdread]

Bomminator
Big Money's a style ill-fated,
As a strategy, some say it's dated.
But with Gardens on board,
Royal Seal and a Hoard?
Consider yourself Bomminated!

This is in homage to the old Councilroom achievement, which I never did pull off myself.

[ehunt]

 I would like to note that it's annoying that the first vowel in butcher is the one in put and not the one in putt

[ehunt]

When you cleaned out your deck that got junked,
the Rats/Butcher pair wouldn't have flunked,
but you forgot Butcher,
so call Ashton Kutcher,
'cause your rating's about to get Punk'd.

[Marcory]

I would like to note that it's annoying that the first vowel in butcher is the one in put and not the one in putt

Not the one in butte? Or suite? Or suit? Or guide? or Belarus?

Ah English. So many choices.

[mail-mi]

+2 actions, gain silver, or buys.
A bonus plus money on th'side
Ah, but the on-trash
Play Chapel, then FLASH!
You've just got a Goons alongside.

[cayvie]

I read Tunnel to see what the card did
It seemed pretty sweet when discarded
But Chancellor neglected
To work as expected
Now my deck's worse than right when I started

[mail-mi]

Oh Hermit/Madman/Market Square.
Makes me seem like a billionaire.
Have Madmen 3 more
Other cards you ignore
"I have all of the points!" you declare.

[cayvie]

Australia's swarming with cats
But compared to my misery, that's
a walk in the park!
The future looks dark:
I just drew Rats, Rats, Rats, Rats, Rats

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_cats_in_Australia#Feral_cats)

[cayvie]

An entrepreneurial chap
Stole a buccaneer's old treasure map
But found, when it's sold
On the black market for gold,
That a single one isn't worth crap.

[terminalCopper]

Treasure Maps

I had the increcible plan
to scheme those treasure maps, man!
But without being played
to the discard they went straight
should have read the rulebook, damn.

this one really happened...

[Polk5440]

Treasure Maps

I had the increcible plan
to scheme those treasure maps, man!
But without being played
to the discard they went straight strayed
should have read the rulebook, damn.

this one really happened...

 

[cayvie]

I promise you, lord, I'm not fronting,
Just decking the manor with bunting.
With the Chancellor, Gold,
Lady Silver, I'm told
This party's now ready for hunting.

[WalrusMcFishSr]

Some Bridges combined with King's Court,
Is a combo not easy to thwart;
With Bridge not in supply, they
may be swapped out for Highway...
Oh shit, never mind--Abort!



Based on a true story

[terminalCopper]

Rebuild
A board with amazing stuff
but a single card throws down the glove
puts a clock on the game
many engines are tamed
cause challenging rebuild is tough

[sudgy]

Rebuild
A board with amazing stuff
but a single card throws down the glove
puts a clock on the game
many engines are tamed
cause challenging rebuild is tough

Reminds me of the game where I was looking at the cards, and saw Rats and Develop.  I realized that has the possibility of being an amazing combo, getting $3 and $5 cards and +1 Card for each Rats you trash.  I looked at the $3, they looked pretty good.  I looked at the $5, some pretty good ones, - oh, Rebuild, I didn't see you there...

[liopoil]

Rebuild
A board with amazing stuff
but a single card throws down the glove
puts a clock on the game
many engines are tamed
cause challenging rebuild is tough

Reminds me of the game where I was looking at the cards, and saw Rats and Develop.  I realized that has the possibility of being an amazing combo, getting $3 and $5 cards and +1 Card for each Rats you trash.  I looked at the $3, they looked pretty good.  I looked at the $5, some pretty good ones, - oh, Rebuild, I didn't see you there...

...and so you went for rebuild, trashing rats with develop, topdecking rebuild?

[sudgy]

Rebuild
A board with amazing stuff
but a single card throws down the glove
puts a clock on the game
many engines are tamed
cause challenging rebuild is tough

Reminds me of the game where I was looking at the cards, and saw Rats and Develop.  I realized that has the possibility of being an amazing combo, getting $3 and $5 cards and +1 Card for each Rats you trash.  I looked at the $3, they looked pretty good.  I looked at the $5, some pretty good ones, - oh, Rebuild, I didn't see you there...

...and so you went for rebuild, trashing rats with develop, topdecking rebuild?

No, I just went for rebuild, I think my opponent did rats+develop, and I won.

[ehunt]

I asked for some strategy hints,
when I lost my first game with a Prince,
cause I knew all along
I had done something wrong,
when I drew it with mine and two mints.

[Elanchana]

Oh what a good card is KC
How I love to play actions times three
What cards will I pick up?
There's two King's Courts, what luck!
And no other actions? F**k me.

[jotheonah]

Oh what a good card is KC
How I love to play actions times three
What cards will I pick up?
There's two King's Courts, what luck!
And no other actions? F**k me.

I might go with
"What cards will I draw?
Two King's Courts! Huzzah!"
because it scans a little better and also lets you say "Huzzah"

[Elanchana]

Oh what a good card is KC
How I love to play actions times three
What cards will I pick up?
There's two King's Courts, what luck!
And no other actions? F**k me.

I might go with
"What cards will I draw?
Two King's Courts! Huzzah!"
because it scans a little better and also lets you say "Huzzah"

I was wondering how to make that third line scan better. And I say "huzzah" all the time so I can't believe I didn't think of this.

[ehunt]

Compared to Ghost Ship, its attack is angelic,
but it costs just the same -- it's expensive, this Relic!
but cut it some slack:
it's a Treasure-Attack,
and also its artwork is plain psychedelic.

[werothegreat]

Compared to Ghost Ship, its attack is angelic,
but it costs just the same -- it's expensive, this Relic!
but cut it some slack:
it's a Treasure-Attack,
and also its artwork is plain psychedelic.

I like it, but there are too many syllables in the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines.

[joel88s]

Compared to Ghost Ship, its attack is angelic,
but it costs just the same -- it's expensive, this Relic!
but cut it some slack:
it's a Treasure-Attack,
and also its artwork is plain psychedelic.

I like it, but there are too many syllables in the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines.

But at least they're consistent - it's sort of a four beat limerick.
Perhaps the 3rd and 4th lines should be one; then it would just be a quatrain with limerick rhyme scheme. Which would be weird in a cool sort of way.

[Petrovic]

Champion
A champion's power beguiles
No attacks or dead actions bring smiles
But as you still travel
Your plan may unravel
When the messenger empties three piles

[convolucid]

This buy phase I made my decision
Two turns can be granted by Mission
My opponent may cry
"Mission won't let you buy!"
But don't fret, I'll just play Tactician!

[belugawhale]

I played a game against the bot lord
I tried comboing Scout with Hoard
But he played Witch Big Money
Ouch! That isn't funny!
I guess it depends on the board...

[Rafy235]

How's this?

Oh how to use Embargo
To best debilitate my foe
I block off the golds
But man, now behold
He's purchasing alternate cargo