I'm not kidding. This is probably the worst game of Dominion I've ever played.
Not because of misplays or unfun cards or anything, but rather it was the only game of Dominion I've ever played that made me feel physically exhausted after it ended. It's not even that long compared to the worst of slogs, topping out at 27 turns when I finally found a three-pile.
Behold, the log (I'm Islacchi):
http://www.gokosalvager.com/static/logprettifier.html?20150627/log.540b8bcee4b06be045d24ce1.1435427803867.txtBlack Market, Watchtower, Bishop, Militia, Moneylender, Young Witch, Apprentice, Explorer, Market, Torturer, PrinceI thought the play was rather simple. The kingdom was devoid of villages, but full of trashing, so an engine was possible, and I looked in the Black Market for villages. I noticed quickly that my opponent didn't, though, giving up quite a few villages as they passed by. Also in the BM deck were several power cards: Highway, which allowed Princed Markets as villages, and Goons, which I didn't even notice until it came out with the Highway.
My opponent quickly went for a Bishop strategy, trashing most of his deck, even Princing one to trash every turn. I was convinced this was a terrible idea, but after he collected 2 provinces and over 20 VP chips, I began to get worried.
I realized that there was only one way out: Goons. I knew, though, that once he Princed his Bishop, with my Princed Militia, he was never going to spike Province ever again, so I only had to fear a 3-pile. I was extremely lucky that my opponent had neglected all the markets, going pretty money-heavy, allowing me to collect the entire stack after trashing down. However, the game had already become incredibly sloggy, with Princed Militias on both sides. Watchtowers were difficult on defence due to the lack of villages.
Sure enough, on turn 21, almost 40 VP down, I had the fortune of collecting the Goons.
And I entered the second stage of hell. I knew I was going to win, but I wasn't going to enjoy winning.
Because my opponent was trashing *every single turn* with his Princed Bishops (yes, he princed a second later), I had to look forward to endless turns of buying treasure, revealing watchtower, and tossing it into the junk. It was at this point I truly understood the resentment for Goko's Watchtower implementation. Because it was a Black Market Goons, I was earning VP way slower than a normal watchtower goons deck. Which sucked. Oh wow did it suck. At some point I even feared running out the coppers before I could catch up in VP, mixing in silvers and golds, though I might have overestimated the Bishop gain rate.
All in all, it was an experience I never wish to repeat.
Yeesh, venting felt great, though.
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