Dominion Strategy Forum
Dominion => Dominion General Discussion => Topic started by: Spellbound on July 12, 2015, 02:09:05 am
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I thought it would be fun and clarifying, so here it goes.
How to post here:
Answer the question from the lastest post.
Ask a question about theme or story behind cards in Dominion, anything. End the question with 'literally'.
Starting question:
How does a Chapel trash your cards, literally?
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Your petty copper and pathetic estates were obtained through sinful behavior and you must repent. Only by letting go of sin and the redemption of your actions can you obtain the divine right to rule.
(Is that what you were going for?)
How does a Conspirator only become non-terminal on or after the third action, literally?
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Sounds fun.
The Conspiracy wants to help you, but they ask that you prove yourself true to them with Actions, not words.
Why does Apothecary want you to have so many coppers?
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Because Apothecary devotes himself to aid the poors for his religion. To live such a humble life, one must denounce the excesses, thus he only works with Potions and Copper and nothing else.
(To Elanchana, yes :D)
How come a Crossroad only give Actions the first time you play it and not after that, literally?
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A Crossroads represents a significant choice in your life; you have three choices of direction. Once you've made that choice, you can't rewind the clock and make it again.
Why do Haunted Woodses, literally, draw you cards?
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Deep within the woods lives an old blacksmith, desperate for work. He takes a while to find, but if you do track him town, he's still as good a smithy as he once was. Meanwhile, as you walk through the woods, the spirits flee, working their sinister ways on everyone around you.
How does a Soothsayer, literally, earn you gold?
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The Soothsayer spreads her words of disaster and woe across the town. She inevitably encounters a rich lord who offers her gold in exchange for a protection charm.
Why does Ranger only draw 5 cards every other time, literally?
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Because he needs to Scout before shooting.
Why does Adventurer care about money so much?
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He *does* have to make a living. "I'm going on an adventure!"
Why does Sage cross over Crossroads and stop in the middle of the Highway?
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He knows the way already, but he needs to take breaks when the distance is long.
Why does a bunch of Madmen and Hermits visiting your Market Squares make your kingdom overflow with Gold?
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Because they breakdown from economic crisis and decide to rob Market Squares.
Why does Miser set aside Coppers, and then produce huge amount of money?
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Because he sets aside coppers, and so later has a huge amount of money.
Why do rats draw you a card when you trash them?
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You know how cats sometimes bring you dead animals as a "gift?" Well, rats are sort of the opposite; when they die, they present their own corpse as a present.
Why do Mined cards go into your hand, literally?
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Because when you mine something up you put it in your pocket.
Why are Poor Houses literally richer the less money you have
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Socialism.
Why, literally, does Taxman get rid of your own money this turn?
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Socialism.
(sorry this was just something i couldn't let go)
Why does Beggar gain better treasures when your dominion is attacked, literally?
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Socialism He's available to hire for cheap defense.
Why does the person with fewer turns win in a tie game, literally?
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In a literal tie game, the challenge is to tie your tie in less turns than your opponent. Every child knows that.
Why is a Gardens worth more if you have many cards, literally?
Edit: Okay, i'm done with stupid answers, i swear.
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Socialism ♫ You have to till your gar-den ♫
Why do Feoda, literally, care how many Silvers you have?
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Because if fey cared about all Treasures fey would be Fiefs.
Because serfs aren't rich enough to pay their fealty in Gold.
Why are 8 Fools Golds worth more, literaly, than 8 Golds?
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Because people are gullible and can be tricked into thinking fake gold is better than real gold.
Why, literally, do you need 2 Treasures Maps when they both have the same thing on them. Wouldn't, literally, 1 suffice. Literally.
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Because you always accidentally trash the first one before finding the treasure.
Why can't a Band of Misfits just exit the tavern like everyone else?
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They can never agree on how to split the check.
Why, literally, do Ill-Gotten Gains Curse other people, and not you?
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While you obtain the Ill-Gotten Gains you frame everyone else and accuse them of theft, plunder and contraband.
Why does the player to your right get to bar a card for you when you play Contraband, literally?
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It's the player to your left who does so.
And since you're playing Contraband, which is a kind of gold for $5, you are stepping on his land (he was to play after you and maybe would have bought a card that you bought that was last of its pile) so he officially declares a product that is illegal.
Why isn't the Apprentice a master yet if he can draw you so many cards at once ?
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Because he keeps accidentally destroying various things while trying to cast his spells.
Why, literally, does the Sea Hag put a curse on top of your deck?
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Because she had a bad childhood and wants you to suffer equally.
How the hell do you put the whole Village into the death cart?
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A giant shredding machine.
Why does Chancellor discards your deck, literally?
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He's never satisfied with the plans he comes up with for your kingdom, and keeps starting over.
Why, literally, do Messengers do the same thing?
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Because he wants to give you another chance to draw your cards in the order you need them, that's why he's called Chancellor, duh.
Why does a mere Messenger do what both Woodcutter and Chancellor do instead of being content with delivering stuff to other players?
EDIT: Ninja'd me. Good thing you posted basically the same question :D
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Because you didn't get the message the first time.
Why does a physical Moat, literally, protect you from metaphysical cursing attacks?
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Because water is a witch's weakness. Duh.
Why does the Throne Room double actions, literally?
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Because the actions find the Throne Room comfortable, and stay there twice as long.
Why can Rats eat an entire province?
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Why can Rats eat an entire province?
Courtesy of my wife (WOOHOO! ;D ;D ;D):
"Because they're Rats Of Unusual Size"
Why is a Trusty Steed worth about as much as two Pawns?
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Because you sacrifice one Pawn and promote the other one into a Horse.
Why are the Knights the only people in the Kingdom that literally have individual specialities?
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Everyone else is grown in a test tube on Kamino. Knights are the only species in Dominion that remember how to breed sexually.
Why, literally, is an Abandoned Mine able to give (http://wiki.dominionstrategy.com/images/thumb/6/6d/Coin.png/16px-Coin.png) in a situation where a normal Mine isn't?
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It's a tourist attraction.
Why, literally, does Altar take anything, including inanimate objects, as a sacrifice?
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The sacrifice is dedicated to a materialist god.
Why can you transform Rats into Nobles when you buy Farmland, literally?
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The farmland is so rich and fertile that everything you plant will grow as something better, even rats.
Why, literally, are peddlers cheaper the more actions you have in play?
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Because you gain the trust of the Peddler by acting more, and she demands less from you ; after 4 actions she is so convinced that she joins you for free !
Why, literally, does an Outpost allow you to take a second turn ?
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Because it secedes from your nation and forms it's own miniature Dominion.
How, literally, does a Native Village hold so much junk?
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Because it secedes from your nation and forms it's own miniature Dominion.
How, literally, does a Native Village hold so much junk?
Because that's where the kingdom dumps its garbage.
Why, literally, is it better to start building your dominion by getting rid of your land?
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Why, literally, is it better to start building your dominion by getting rid of your land?
Shorter distances are beneficial.
Why, literally, do two Laboratories achieve the same effect as a Village and a Smithy do?
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Scientists found out how to reduce an entire Village and an entire blacksmith in their two Laboratories.
Why, literally, does a Tunnel produce gold when Vaulted?
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Without the Vaulted supports, the last time the dwarves tried to dig too deep, the Tunnels collapsed long before they got anywhere near Balrog territory.
Why, in violation of tradition, does the Fortune Teller refuse to foretell riches of any kind?
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Why, in violation of tradition, does the Fortune Teller refuse to foretell riches of any kind?
She doesn't know much about Treasure, but she will tell you everything about your future Victories.
How can the Trader literally exchange a Curse for a Silver?
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Why, in violation of tradition, does the Fortune Teller refuse to foretell riches of any kind?
She doesn't know much about Treasure, but she will tell you everything about your future Victories.
How can the Trader literally exchange a Curse for a Silver?
She has knowledge of the occult arts and knows Silver repels bad spirits as well as Curses. How she manages to "exchange" them though, i don't know.
Why can having a Feast give you a Cultist, literally?
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The cult leader manages to convert someone while they're engaged in festivities.
Why are Knights especially valuable for fairgrounds, literally?
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Everyone wants to watch the jousting there.
Why, literally, does Procession let you play another action twice?
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The first play is the birth procession, the second is the funeral procession.
Why, literally, does a wandering minstrel discard all your victories and treasures?
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Because songs and stories are only interesting when they have focus on actions; the actions taken are more interesting than their results.
Why, literally, can you buy a Duchess if you don't have any Duchies?
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She came from a Duchy in another kingdom, and now decides to join your harem. That's also why she gives you money.
Speaking of which: Why do Harems give you money instead of taking it, literally?
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You buy/gain them, so they are yours. You relish the victory and rewards as you play them.
Why do a Princess, Bridge, Highway, and Bridge Troll reduce costs, literally?
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Bridges and Highways facilitate travel, thus reducing costs, as Donald X has said. The Bridge Troll has presumably been hired to your services, and is able to collect tolls from foreigners to make goods cheaper for your people. The Princess has suitors begging for her hand in marriage, and in order to be seen as most attractive, sign treaties with you, her non-gender-specified royal parent, removing tariffs on goods from their kingdoms, making them cheaper. Much cheaper.
Why, literally, do Haunted Woods make you keep useless cards in your hand from turn to turn?
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Presumably, all your useful cards have been put to use at other places, like Villages or Smithies. What is left in your hand are the only things you can take with you to give you comfort in the Haunted Woods so you want to cling to them.
When you Possess someone, of course you keep the cards you make them gain for yourself. But why does the possessed one get the trashed cards back?
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Why, literally, do Haunted Woods make you keep useless cards in your hand from turn to turn?
You may wander forever, unable to let go of the past.
Edit: ninja'd.
When you Possess someone, of course you keep the cards you make them gain for yourself. But why does the possessed one get the trashed cards back?
You've got good insurance for that sort of thing.
Why, literally, are young witches powerless against cheap cards?
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They are still going through a rebellious phase where they think kingdoms which rely on cheap cards are undeserving of their magic. Which doesn't make much sense, because nobody wants their magic, but they are teenagers so you better not argue with them.
Why is a Talisman, literally, a Treasure, while an Amulet is not?
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The Amulet is imbued with magic powers that let you do all kinds of things so the action type seems rather fitting. Talisman is just a boring old trinket that people seem to adore which is why you get stuff for free.
What, literally, is the story behind the Teacher line? Get creative!
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I think the story is pretty obvious, so, as we are asked to be creative, i'll put it in rhyme:
(http://wiki.dominionstrategy.com/images/f/fc/Wandering_MinstrelArt.jpg)
There was a Peasant once,
and his name was Hans.
Was lazy, more than me or you,
sat around, nothing to do.
And he was so bored that when
the army came to town
he signed up for Adventures and
to fight for king and crown.
Chosus:
Hans, Hans, Hans the Peasant - yes that was his name,
he became a Soldier, the army is to blame.
The army fought and killed
and Soldier Hans was thrilled.
He was a teen and shucks,
didn't see that dying sucks.
But then the army lost the fight,
Hans had to run away,
to hide at night in fright out of sight,
under a Bridge to stay.
Chorus:
Hans, Hans, Hans the Soldier - yes that was his name,
he became a Fugitive, the king's adivsor to blame.
He had lost everything,
and Hans began to think.
Maybe i was wrong,
this way it can't go on.
A Hermit gave him Shelter,
he told Hans many things,
and Hans learned from the elder,
and now the chorus sings:
Chorus:
Hans, Hans, Hans the Fugitive - yes that was his name,
he became a Disciple, and that is not the same.
He studied much a year,
and he got wise, i hear.
So when the war was gone,
the Hermit sent him on.
I once was Soldier too, he said,
i made your mistakes, too,
dear Hans my friend, now go your way,
find someone who needs you.
Chorus:
Hans, Hans, Hans the Disciple - now the story's done,
became a Teacher, so to make the world a better one.
Why do Goons what Militia does, literally?
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Why do Goons what Militia does, literally?
They both beat people up, seems like something they'd both be good at.
How can the Swindler convince you that a Curse is better than your Copper? Like, how does he even sell that to you, literally?
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Because copper weighs you down but a curse is immaterial, so you're actually taking a load off. And then he skips town before you notice that that's literally the only benefit.
How does a Princess do (in part) double what a Highway or Bridge does, literally?
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She's not a virgin Princess. i.e. she's been ridden all the way over town aha
Why, literally, does Training your Dungeons make them make money for you?
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If you train your prisoners in extra skills it makes for some wonderfully cheap labor. Profit!
Why do Wandering Minstrels share most of their capabilities with Villages, literally?
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A village consists of village people. Wandering Minstrels are musicians. Village People are musicians. Therefore, Villages consist of Wandering Minstrels.
Why does Ambassador cause other players to gain cards, literally?
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It's a gift - a xenium! There's actually a word for that.
Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
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Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
The intrepid sailors know if they return empty-handed, you'll just send them back out again.
Also, big applause for the Song of Hans. That will forever be the Peasant's name.
Why does a Trader and a Trade both give you more silvers-per-card-trashed than a Trading Post?
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Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
The intrepid sailors know if they return empty-handed, you'll just send them back out again.
Also, big applause for the Song of Hans. That will forever be the Peasant's name.
Why does a Trader and a Trade both give you more silvers-per-card-trashed than a Trading Post?
It costs more to set up a shop; you have to pay the city for the space. Ever stop by one of those holiday markets?
Why does Young Witch draw and discard?
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She tries to be as good as her older sister but keeps dropping some of her magic ingredients on the floor.
Why, literally, does Sea Hag curse ever harder than Witch but does nothing for you who played her?
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Why, literally, does Sea Hag curse ever harder than Witch but does nothing for you who played her?
Does nothing? Really? Look at that pink hair glisten in the moonlight, then look me in the eye and tell me that does nothing for you. When you fall for the Sea Hag, you fall hard, man.
(http://wiki.dominionstrategy.com/images/8/8d/Sea_Hag.jpg)
EDIT: Oh my, that picture was quite large :-[
Why does Ambassador cause other players to gain cards, literally?
It's a gift - a xenium! There's actually a word for that.
How, literally, does this Ambassador convince you that a Curse is actually a gift?
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EDIT: Oh my, that picture was quite large :-[
Well, you used the "width" property, but then you set it to 640. That's not going to help much. On the other hand, i never noticed that pink hair thing.
Edit: Oh, so you edited that in after you noticed how big it was... Oops.
One should also mention that the reason she curses so hard is because she hangs out with sailors so much. Dirty, dirty sailors.
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How, literally, does this Ambassador convince you that a Curse is actually a gift?
"In my country, purple is color of fortune. Please accept this gift from my people to yours."
Why do you win the Tournament by revealing a Province?
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Why do you win the Tournament by revealing a Province?
"Look, young knight, I am a landed noble, with a Province to my name. If you know what's best for you, you will let me win the Prize."
Why does Peddler cost less the more Actions you have in play?
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Why does Peddler cost less the more Actions you have in play?
Poor Peddler despises his life of trading and coin and fancies himself an Action hero.
Why can you, literally, gain a cheaper card when you buy Border Village?
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You gain the thing that the Border Village borders.
Why, literally, does it take a potion to buy a vineyard?
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Because only a drunkard would sell his vineyard for nothing.
Why, literally, can Rats devour a Watchtower, a Lighthouse, a Moat, and a Dungeon, but not a Fortress?
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Because only a drunkard would sell his vineyard for nothing.
Why, literally, can Rats devour a Watchtower, a Lighthouse, a Moat, and a Dungeon, but not a Fortress?
Rats fill the water to create a live bridge, cover the light of the watchtower, and fit between the bars of the dungeon. But the fortress is made impenetrable with no holes for the rats to get in.
Why does the Jester get to decide who gets the card?
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Because you never know the true intentions of a jester : gifting you, or doing evil to other people
Why can a single beggar protect you from a pillage or from an evil minion ?
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Looting a beggar gives no benefit. He shouts out to all those aggro folks: f*ck yourselves. YOLO! ...and is gone.
Why, literally, does Masterpiece let you gain silver instead of gold or platinum?
_________________
OMG my rank now is Scout :o
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The Masterpiece was created by the Candlestick Maker, who is poor but generous. He gives coin tokens to charity, and refuses Gold or Platinum because he is humble.
Why, literally, can a Teacher teach an entire Village to Seaway?
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Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
Also, big applause for the Song of Hans. That will forever be the Peasant's name.
I thought his name was Seprix.
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Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
Also, big applause for the Song of Hans. That will forever be the Peasant's name.
I thought his name was Seprix.
I can make a song about you, too, if you wish.
*tunes lute*
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Why, literally, do Expeditions draw you cards?
Also, big applause for the Song of Hans. That will forever be the Peasant's name.
I thought his name was Seprix.
I can make a song about you, too, if you wish.
*tunes lute*
If you want.
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*plays beautiful instrumental*
It's 05:05 here, and i have to work tomorrow.
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There once was a guy who owned a boat
His name was Cap'n Seprix;
He wasn't a very good captain, though
He got in lots of shipwrecks.
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There once was a guy who owned a boat
His name was Cap'n Seprix;
He wasn't a very good captain, though
He got in lots of shipwrecks.
You must be thinking of Captain Siprex. Seprix is an excellent captain.
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There once was a guy who owned a boat
His name was Cap'n Seprix;
He wasn't a very good captain, though
He got in lots of shipwrecks.
If he gets in lots of shipwrecks he's probably a good salvager, ahahaha