Halting Rebuke and Warding Circle nombo with Hedge Guardian. Golem or Veil Warden are better there. If you want cheap intercept, Warding Circle is better because it won't use your pocket.
Cantillation does close to nothing for Jesmai that Behold the Veil doesn't better, and I don't think you need Tome of Memory for Jesmai either. Most of your cards shouldn't be spending any time in your pocket past the early game.
I have never tried Gilded General, so I can't comment on that, but it feels like pretty much anything else would be doing something better for you?
I would add some powerful Incantation to round up your deck. Song of Spring is good with Jesmai, Word of Unmaking and Banishing Gust give you some board control that you will probably need, Odashir's Echo and Summoning Rift win games.
EDIT: I can win Master semi-reliably with Jesmai with this sort of deck, but a Grandmaster trifecta seems tough...