Herald: My lord, the Adventurer we dispatched has returned.
Adventurer: Great King, I have traveled through distance Provinces, across the Silk Road. I stowed away on a Merchant Ship, then found some Smugglers at a Black Market to help me dodge an Embargo. I outwitted cunning Rogues, villainous Swindlers and a subtle Spy. I outfought Marauders, and avoided the Curses of a malevolent Witch. I and a ragtag Band of Misfits infiltrated a King's Court to thwart the vile Schemes of an evil Chancellor and his Conspirators. I hid in a Death Cart, to hide from their hired Goons, and faked my death with the help of a friendly Graverobber. I then defeated Knights and Squires alike at the royal Tournament, in order to present the Princess with evidence of his treason. I then fled the country, pursued by that treacherous Advisor's Minions, and accompanied only by my Trusty Steed. There, amid Ruined Villages and Abandoned Mines, I found the untouched remains of a Native Village, from which I acquired these two veritable Masterpieces.
King: ...Masterpieces? What part of "bring me some Fool's Gold" did you not understand?