So counting words in
this thread reminded me of counting syllables in haikus, and I thought, why not explain what a card does in a haiku? Because that would be awesome, right?
For clarity, "haiku" is meant to be American haikus in English, the standard 5-7-5 structure you learn about in elementary school.
Advisor by ElanchanaNon-terminal draw
Just try to make sure that you
Only show good cards
Bureaucrat by scott_pilgrimGets you free Silver
And puts it atop your deck.
It's unstoppable!
Chapel by RobzThinning is winning
This trashes faster than most
Always buy early
City by ElanchanaExpensive village
Level up and it becomes
Pretty damn awesome
Cultist by Donald Xthe first frost of fall
we sit in the cold kitchen
and race for cultists
Duchess by schaddinfinite value
duchies are for the cool kids
she will find her place
Duke by theright555JGoofy-looking dude
Crafty like used car salesman
Outscores provinces
Expedition by werothegreatSail the seven seas!
For three small payments of one
Coin, draw two more cards!
Golem by theright555JCost is a challenge
But really kicks off darn well
Caution with trashers
Harvest by WalrusMcFishSrAutumn approaches
We rejoice for the Harvest
But it kind of sucks
Haven by schaddcheaper orange card
if you can draw your deck you
Haven a good time
Highway by ElanchanaCosts reduced by one
A cantrip action to boot
Stack 'em with plus buys
Hunting Grounds by werothegreatWell, it draws four cards
Condescending to say that?
We were all newbs once
Knights by ConManBuy the better ones,
Which ones depends on the board,
Mogami River.
Magpie by wereothegreatOne for sorrow, two
lead to a summer flock of
Treasure-drawing birds
Mandarin by werothegreatChing chong ning nang nong
Racist stereotypes are
Not that amusing
Mine by scott_pilgrimTrashes cards on buy.
Making jokes with mine and mint
Gets you free upvotes.
Mission by werothegreatDeck on a mission
Trash junk, alt gain, but no buy
More of a crusade
Moat by scott_pilgrimDraws and blocks attacks.
Answer to ev'ry puzzle:
Ozle: "Is it Moat?"
Mountebank by ElanchanaJunk your friends up twice
Give them curses and coppers
Games can get nasty
Oasis by schadddiscard 'state, i guess
will it be the better choice?
i just watch others
Pawn by ElanchanaPick two bonuses
But please don't take forever
Just to say "cantrip"
Peddler by RobzWhen plus-buys abound
They disappear like snowdrifts
At Spring's first sighting
Rabble by eHalyconseason of green dies
rabbles rise to chill your deck
winter is coming
Rebuild by WitherweaverBeats most strategies
All but the strongest engines
But not with Shelters
Rebuild II by eHalcyonPer this articleRebuild is not any worse
Even with Shelters
Rebuild III by GeoLibLonely juggernaut
Beats all but strongest engines
Even with shelters
Saboteur by ElanchanaSeems like a strong card
Throws their high costs in the trash
But where's the bonus?
Sage by SheCantSayNoClever as a hare
Seduced by sunny green lands
Wisdom crawls him by
Scout by asherskyReveal the top four
emotions from your stone cold
heart, discard the rest.
Steward by schaddhave this guy join you
make the most out of spring's $3
junking sets standards
Stonemason by werothegreatOverpay is neat
Trashing bit is fine, sometimes
Gain all the Actions
Swindler by schaddwhy you have a scout
your turn 1 buy was nice, bud
but how 'bout a duch'?
Tactician by ElanchanaWhat? Give up my hand?
But I would have hit Province!
(next turn) Oh, I see.
Tactician II by Erick648An autumn harvest
Means a sacrifice in spring
Unless you cheat it
Trade by werothegreatHave I got a deal
Better than Trading Post! But
Just once; buy again?
Watchtower by hvbcaterpillar butterfly invert
summer squire trashed
winter witch will hurt
Watchtower II by scott_pilgrimI feel bad for you,
I got 99 problems,
but a Witch ain't one.
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Wishing Well by Arctic PenguinAtop wooden deck
You spy me, peer inside, and
Wish for more wishes.
Tournament by Arctic PenguinO' landed knight come
Claim thyne prize! To puzzled looks
You choose horse, not gold.
Torturer by Arctic PenguinOnce fear'd tormentor,
Thy rival mutters curses.
Alas, they've run out.
Shanty Town by Arctic PenguinNight finds you alone,
In a dismal town. Fearful,
You call for more friends.
Harem by Arctic PenguinPoor choices brought you,
Still, you wonder, why pay to
Be objectified?
Lighthouse by Arctic PenguinOn the horizon,
Hope shines bright. To spectral ship
You say, "Not today!"
Transmute by Arctic PenguinAlchemists dream of
Making gold from lesser coin,
Instead, get more junk.
Counting House by AsperFiendish Mountebanks!
How to reach Colony now?
This weakling can do.
Jester by schaddfun in 4-player
sure, have another smithy
nay, i merely joke
Jester by werothegreatIt's only turn five
But all the piles are empty
Six-player game: why?
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This thread by ElanchanaHow can we explain
In seventeen syllables
What ev'ry card does?