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[Kuildeous]

From this month in the Oatmeal calendar…

5 Reasons to Have Rabies Instead of Babies

You can't give babies to your friends, but you can give them rabies.
Rabies stops predators; babies do not.
Rabies makes a flight unbearable, but rabies makes it fun!
Babies make you slow; rabies makes you fast!
You can't take a baby to the movies, but you can take rabies!

[Drab Emordnilap]

Watching American real life shows or documentaries, I always wonder how much is scripted.

I mean, when I watch "Hardcore Pawn" (love the pun) which seems to be set in the Detroit area, there are always a lot of stereotypical African American women raising a scene: "This engagement ring isn't pure gold? You cheap-ass son of a ....." Now I tend to believe that it's not that far from the truth, but I think there's someone outside paying them to raise a scene, no?

I always figured it was just them taking the most exciting 20 minutes out of a week of footage. THere'll be enough crazy people for TV if they wait long enough.

[Davio]

That too.

On the other hand, it's pretty annoying having trimmed your nails and having to use them to open something.

[Cuzz]

Another: Store names with bad grammar annoy me. I mean, in Dutch, we append the letter s without an apostrophe (if possible) to show property, like "Berts Winkel" to show that it's a shop (winkel) owned by Bert. But, suffering from over Anglicization perhaps, often it will turn into "Bert's Winkel". The thing that bothers me is not only that the owner didn't know the correct form, but also roughly 80% of the people think it's correct!

To me, the worst is when people unnecessarily put things in "quotes".  WTF are you doing?

Oh man I love that blog.

[Drab Emordnilap]

On the other hand, it's pretty annoying having trimmed your nails and having to use them to open something.

Again another golden days. Of all of my own mind and in what sense has entirely abandoned the remarkable sense of the pain and that I have received, so that if poisoning may eat bread, very beautiful belly of the muscle. Me in a festival of our Lord one thousand six thirty and I made a calculation that everything is made of the whole of my years in time, the situation in the river thirty, and he went down with me, however, that the right to walk on in the mouth.

[theory]

Apropos of the recent age discussion, I've thought about making a list of "realizing you are old" moments.

For me, it was when I realized what people meant when they said that birthdays do not matter as much as they once did.

Or when you go to the doctor and can't just draw a line through all the "NO" boxes any more.

Or when you realize that professional athletes are younger than you (or worse, when an athlete younger than you is "over the hill").  Robert Griffin III was born in 1990 (!).

[Ozle]

The moment I knew I was old was when I saw a policeman and thought 'He looks far too young to be a policeman'

[Davio]

For me it's becoming a father and going to bed around 9 am and setting an alarm for 11 am to feed him his evening/night bottle.

[() | (_) ^/]

For me it's becoming a father and going to bed around 9 am and setting an alarm for 11 am to feed him his evening/night bottle.

[Futurama Fry meme:]
not sure if he meant "pm"
[squint]
or his family has a really odd schedule


(I keep trying to make the meme, but quickmeme isn't saving my creation and I'm too lazy to find another meme-creating site.)

[theory]

So I am going to the 4/16 Muse concert at Madison Square Garden.  You should obviously come as well, Lekkit, to make up for your cancelled Stockholm show

[Kuildeous]

One of the BBSes I frequented in the 90s had a forum called "Non Sequitur." You literally had to post something that had nothing to do with the previous posts. Of course, it had to loop back around, but the forum had a post limit of 150, so as long as you didn't post the same thing in 150 posts (which translated to about 30 minutes to 4 hours), you were good.

[qmech]

One of the BBSes I frequented in the 90s had a forum called "Non Sequitur." You literally had to post something that had nothing to do with the previous posts.

This is also a good party game.  As is Mafia, of course.  Which gets me wondering: are there pockets of the internet where people while away their time playing Psychologist?

[ipofanes]

Another: Store names with bad grammar annoy me. I mean, in Dutch, we append the letter s without an apostrophe (if possible) to show property, like "Berts Winkel" to show that it's a shop (winkel) owned by Bert. But, suffering from over Anglicization perhaps, often it will turn into "Bert's Winkel". The thing that bothers me is not only that the owner didn't know the correct form, but also roughly 80% of the people think it's correct!

To me, the worst is when people unnecessarily put things in "quotes".  WTF are you doing?

"It is a particular German habit to deny a world history event by putting it between quotes. France has not emerged "victorious" from this war [WW1], but victorious and Germany has lost."
-- Kurt Tucholsky, in a critical appraisal of a schoolbook published 1925
http://www.textlog.de/tucholsky-kinder-republik.html

That said, I would have put "Bert's winkel" in quotes too.

[Davio]

There was a fresh layer of snow this morning as I spent several minutes wiping it off my car.

Still, a magical feeling.

Snow in spare time (don't have to drive): Yay!
Snow during work time: Boo!

[Kuildeous]

I've never had persimmons. We bought some the other day, but we haven't tore into them yet. I have no idea the best way to eat them. My wife seems certain, but she's been too busy to prepare them.

So I stare at them on the countertop, looking like little weird tomatoes. Soon, my little persimmons, soon.

[Davio]

I've never had persimmons. We bought some the other day, but we haven't tore into them yet. I have no idea the best way to eat them. My wife seems certain, but she's been too busy to prepare them.

So I stare at them on the countertop, looking like little weird tomatoes. Soon, my little persimmons, soon.

This is about the most difficult to eat Dutch delicacy I can think of:


When you press down on the top, the cream in the middle comes out.

[shraeye]

(I think of how most people use Excel (or Photoshop) as like sitting in a Lamborghini and listening to the radio.)

Heh, fitting enough analogy.

Back when it was important for me at the time, I got myself certified as a Microsoft Office User Specialist for Word and Excel. I got the advanced certification, and I was shocked at how little of Excel the advanced test covered. Sure, it handled things like formatting, charts, and pivot tables, but it didn't even touch on VLOOKUP, which is probably my favorite formula (I'm sure SUMPRODUCT would be my favorite, but for some reason I don't always see that as a solution). I think it covered SUM and that was it.

VLOOKUP and SUMIF I think are the two most key functions in terms of power multiplied by usefulness.  If you forced me to choose, I guess VLOOKUP is more essential than SUMIF, but I use SUMIF basically all the time.

SUMIF is great.  And VLOOKUP.  But frankly, most situations now where I could use VLOOKUP it's quick just to make a workaround, though when I was doing actuarial work, that was definitely not the case.  SUMIF is crucial.

[theory]

(I think of how most people use Excel (or Photoshop) as like sitting in a Lamborghini and listening to the radio.)

Heh, fitting enough analogy.

Back when it was important for me at the time, I got myself certified as a Microsoft Office User Specialist for Word and Excel. I got the advanced certification, and I was shocked at how little of Excel the advanced test covered. Sure, it handled things like formatting, charts, and pivot tables, but it didn't even touch on VLOOKUP, which is probably my favorite formula (I'm sure SUMPRODUCT would be my favorite, but for some reason I don't always see that as a solution). I think it covered SUM and that was it.

VLOOKUP and SUMIF I think are the two most key functions in terms of power multiplied by usefulness.  If you forced me to choose, I guess VLOOKUP is more essential than SUMIF, but I use SUMIF basically all the time.

SUMIF is great.  And VLOOKUP.  But frankly, most situations now where I could use VLOOKUP it's quick just to make a workaround, though when I was doing actuarial work, that was definitely not the case.  SUMIF is crucial.

Come for the board game strategy, stay for the Excel function rankings.

[Kuildeous]

Maybe we can have Qvist compile a list of the best three-argument Excel functions.

[Ozle]

COUNT.

It's simple, easy to use an does exactly what it says.

[ipofanes]

COUNT.

It's simple, easy to use an does exactly what it says.

It can do nine different things though, depending on the two parameters you pass.

[SwitchedFromStarcraft]

COUNT.

It's simple, easy to use an does exactly what it says.

CHOCULA.

It's plain, so easy to use a child can do it, and it is what is says.

[Watno]

I've never had persimmons. We bought some the other day, but we haven't tore into them yet. I have no idea the best way to eat them. My wife seems certain, but she's been too busy to prepare them.

So I stare at them on the countertop, looking like little weird tomatoes. Soon, my little persimmons, soon.

This is about the most difficult to eat Dutch delicacy I can think of:


When you press down on the top, the cream in the middle comes out.

Looks like a clear case of "Eat with your fingers" to me.

[SwitchedFromStarcraft]

Apropos of the recent age discussion, I've thought about making a list of "realizing you are old" moments.

For me, it was when I realized what people meant when they said that birthdays do not matter as much as they once did.

Or when you go to the doctor and can't just draw a line through all the "NO" boxes any more.

Or when you realize that professional athletes are younger than you (or worse, when an athlete younger than you is "over the hill").  Robert Griffin III was born in 1990 (!).

For me, it was two things:

In the late 80's, I was in a record store and heard a young woman of about 16 say to her friend "Did you know that Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?".

One day in 1995, I realized that the kids that were born in the year I graduated from HS (1977) were graduating from HS.

[() | (_) ^/]

I've never had persimmons. We bought some the other day, but we haven't tore into them yet. I have no idea the best way to eat them. My wife seems certain, but she's been too busy to prepare them.

So I stare at them on the countertop, looking like little weird tomatoes. Soon, my little persimmons, soon.

This is about the most difficult to eat Dutch delicacy I can think of:


When you press down on the top, the cream in the middle comes out.

Looks like a clear case of "Eat with your fingers" to me.

No joke, I would just use my mouth for that like the barbarian I am.  No utensils, even the natural ones (phalanges) with which I was born.