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[Watno]

But there are quite a lot of names in the world and the chance that someone would randomly search teh facebook page associated with that name withot knowing the person it belongs to is pretty low.

[pacovf]

would it be inappropriate to post her name?

Yes.

General rule of thumb: don't divulge information of someone without their express consent. Yes, information on a public facebook page is a tricky subject. Still, don't share it.

BTW, it is wrong to share information/pictures of celebrities when they don't want it to be public. The thing is, the more these people try to stop the spread, the more attention this stuff gets, so tough chance.

EDIT: I ninja'd WW. Today was a good day.

[Witherweaver]

btw... I still don't get the image thing. the image is on her fb page, so if posting an image is a problem, posting a link to the fb page must be a problem too. but I found her facebook page having zero information except her name. so her name must be private too. but man, it's a name. your name is like the least private thing you have, you get assigned one without your agreement and lots of people know him before you do. would it be inappropriate to post her name?

Yes, it is inappropriate to post any kind of personal information about someone without their consent.  Even if that information is attainable. 

I think the difference should be clear.  You know her in real life, you know her name, you have a reason to plop it in and see if she has a page.  You even have reason to send her a friend request.  Everyone that can possibly see this page (which is the entire world, you don't even have to register just to view) can see anything you post here.  It's possible (though unlikely) someone that knows that person in real life saw the picture. 

A Facebook page is not realistically accessible by those that don't know the person's name... sure, they could stumble upon it somehow (though possibly only if they're connected through friends of friends?), or if they know enough about a person, but because of the sheer volume of Facebooks users, a given user is someone protected from being found by someone without specific knowledge.

If it was a less personal thing, it probably wouldn't be an issue.  ("Hey, look at this cool and funny thing my friend did <post picture>").  But a link to someone's page, a picture, their name, etc. shouldn't be just shared without someone's knowledge.  Especially since this person doesn't even know that you're going about looking at their stuff.

[silverspawn]

I feel like a kid being lectured but it's fine, I'll keep it in mind and act accordingly.

I don't agree with it though. It's stupid. You're uploading something on a site that everyone can visit, you shouldn't have any claims of privacy about the things you upload there. People may not be likely to find it, but they always could. You could always go to a facebook page of anyone you know, open a random thing they posted, read a random comment, go to the page of the person who posted the comment, repeat the same thing 10 times and you'll end up on the page of someone who has no connection whatsoever with the person whom you started with. and now it's not okay to post stuff about that person somewhere? really, that's dumb.

[Witherweaver]

I feel like a kid being lectured but it's fine, I'll keep it in mind and act accordingly.

I don't agree with it though. It's stupid. You're uploading something on a site that everyone can visit, you shouldn't have any claims of privacy about the things you upload there. People may not be likely to find it, but they always could. You could always go to a facebook page of anyone you know, open a random thing they posted, read a random comment, go to the page of the person who posted the comment, repeat the same thing 10 times and you'll end up on the page of someone who has no connection whatsoever with the person whom you started with. and now it's not okay to post stuff about that person somewhere? really, that's dumb.

Because someone taking your information and posting it somewhere else is something that is targeted.  They're taking action that specifically involves you, presenting your information to many other people that you wouldn't expect would find it normally.  In one case it's someone randomly stumbling upon something you've put up on the internet.  Fine.  In the other case it's someone that you used to go to school with and that had a crush on you posting your picture on a forum you've never heard about saying "hey guys, think it's okay for me to creep on this girl"?  You're specifically targeted here.

Try to imagine it from the viewpoint of someone who actually has to think about being stalked or being victimized in any way.

(Edit: I know you're not actually being creepy; I'm just trying to explain how it could feel to the other party.)

[Awaclus]

I think I'll just do it. it's not like i can lose anything, worst case I'll pretty much be at the same position I was before I had the dream

the dream was weird btw, she looked differently and I can't recall much of what happened. but after i thought i woke up, i went to my pc and did the exact same thing (google her). i found a weird site that was sort of a summery of what to do when looking for that girl, but before I could do much with it, I realized that that was a dream too and I woke up (not really though, just part of the dream). I think I repeated a similar process ~2 more times before I woke up for real. but I also recall that the window was closed in my dream, which is very unusual because I usually don't close it during the night, and when I woke up it was really closed.

dreams are awesome 

The repeated attempts at contacting that girl, but ultimately failing every time because you wake up, is clearly symbolizing a situation where you want to do it, but the "reality" tells you that it's not a good idea. You have the website with the instructions, those are the key to opening the closed window.

Or something like that. Actually I'm just pulling this out of my ass, which was probably obvious too.

In any case, more than being a creepy guy, I'd be concerned with agreeing to Facebook's terms and conditions. I mean, as you said, you can't really lose anything even if she ends up finding you creepy.

[silverspawn]

all of that stuff aside, seeing that picture is some sweet nostalgia. i used to spend countless hours in class just sitting there staring at her. other people would have done something, but I never did. just looking at her was way more interesting than class.

[pacovf]

I think Kirian and I are some of the oldest members of the forum. Not the oldest, but we have life experience. We know what we're talking about.

* Kirian shakes cane in agreement

Edit:  Holy shit, the forum software supports emotes using "/em"

Man, the oldest members of this forum are really in their thirties? We're a bunch of kids around here.

Anyone older than 50 around here (that wouldn't mind other member knowing that they are over 50)?

I can't wait to have a cane to shake at younger people, by the way. I was born to sit in a bench mumbling bad things about how "young people these days don't have any respect for their elders". Can't wait, I say.

[KingZog3]

all of that stuff aside, seeing that picture is some sweet nostalgia. i used to spend countless hours in class just sitting there staring at her. other people would have done something, but I never did. just looking at her was way more interesting than class.

I find masturbation more interesting than school work too.

[eHalcyon]

You could always go to a facebook page of anyone you know, open a random thing they posted, read a random comment, go to the page of the person who posted the comment, repeat the same thing 10 times and you'll end up on the page of someone who has no connection whatsoever with the person whom you started with.

Technically, where you end up really does have a connection to where you started. The process you describe is following those connections. 

Edit: also, Kevin Bacon links us all!

[Kuildeous]

Man, the oldest members of this forum are really in their thirties? We're a bunch of kids around here.

Anyone older than 50 around here (that wouldn't mind other member knowing that they are over 50)?

42 here.

I believe SwitchedFromStarcraft is older, but I might be misremembering...in my old age.

[Kuildeous]

I think I'll just do it. it's not like i can lose anything, worst case I'll pretty much be at the same position I was before I had the dream

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!

I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.

I agree with a lot that's been said, but if you can't resist, then at least make the conversation more natural. Is there a question that has never been resolved? Maybe there's a mutual friend that you haven't seen in a while and can ask about him/her. Did one of your former teachers die or retire?

I also think your best bet is to just make a FB account and create a network of friends. I get into conversations with people that I haven't seen in a while. They all kind of sputter out after a few days, though. You don't have to get all obsessive with FB. Hell, keep your photos limited to abstract ideas. The nice thing about FB is that it will recommend new friends. When you suddenly have 20 new friends, it's obvious that you're a new user, and no one's going to freak out over that. In fact, you could post on the wall things like, "Should I tell FB which high school I went to?"

Come to think of it, status updates and comments are a great way to get some conversation going anyway. Post engaging status updates. See which friends respond to them. If she replies to one, then you could expand on that. It might even lead to being able to chat in mail without seeming weird. And while it's not conclusive if she never replies to your witty status updates, it's very likely that she isn't that interested in chatting if she doesn't. So make sure you include some status updates about common interests (but don't make them all about that, or it'll look creepy again).

[Kirian]

Man, the oldest members of this forum are really in their thirties? We're a bunch of kids around here.

Anyone older than 50 around here (that wouldn't mind other member knowing that they are over 50)?

42 here.

I believe SwitchedFromStarcraft is older, but I might be misremembering...in my old age.

And of course DXV is 40+.  I think there are a few others older than me as well (36 tomorrow), and I think someone posted an age poll at some point that showed the average age here was skewed well toward 20-25.

[Watno]

@Kuildeous: Setting up an elaborate scheme like that sounds a lot more creepy to me then simply sending a message along the lines of "Hey, I thought about you recently, how are things these days?"

[Kuildeous]

@Kuildeous: Setting up an elaborate scheme like that sounds a lot more creepy to me then simply sending a message along the lines of "Hey, I thought about you recently, how are things these days?"

I'm just saying that if he is hellbent on getting into a conversation with her, then at least take steps that don't make him look like he makes suits out of people's skins.

Besides, you want to hold conversations with people who'll find them interesting. If she has no interest in what he's saying, then it's best not to force the issue. If there's a spark, then by all means let the conversation take you where it goes. And conversations usually build off of common ground. See if that's there.

[enfynet]

I've been blocked for "liking" too many posts by a "new" friend on FB. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I have very few friends so I see a LOT of what they post. I've also been blocked for complimenting people, because apparently compliment = infatuation in the world of Facebook.

[Tables]

I've been blocked for "liking" too many posts by a "new" friend on FB. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I have very few friends so I see a LOT of what they post. I've also been blocked for complimenting people, because apparently compliment = infatuation in the world of Facebook.

A certain friend of mine (who I won't name but he has an account on F.DS and was my housemate for about two years) I've got blocked permanently on Facebook because on three occasions he's reported posts of mine as bullying him, and Facebook has upheld it and sanctioned me for various periods - the most recent being a 3 day ban and being told that any further infringement will result in a permanent ban. What was I doing to bully him? Oh, things like saying that he did something innocuous and not me, like renaming a group, or tagging him in a generic photo he's in. I'm such a bully.

[Witherweaver]

I've been blocked for "liking" too many posts by a "new" friend on FB. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I have very few friends so I see a LOT of what they post. I've also been blocked for complimenting people, because apparently compliment = infatuation in the world of Facebook.

A certain friend of mine (who I won't name but he has an account on F.DS and was my housemate for about two years) I've got blocked permanently on Facebook because on three occasions he's reported posts of mine as bullying him, and Facebook has upheld it and sanctioned me for various periods - the most recent being a 3 day ban and being told that any further infringement will result in a permanent ban. What was I doing to bully him? Oh, things like saying that he did something innocuous and not me, like renaming a group, or tagging him in a generic photo he's in. I'm such a bully.

Sweet, going to stalk you on Facebook so I can report you!

[pacovf]

I'm actually fairly annoyed by the fact that people can tag you on photos without your consent, and then the picture appears on your page. Is there anyway for me to prevent that? I don't mind the tagging specifically (odds are, people_that_know_my_name == people_that_recognize_my_face), it's the fact that it appears on my page that bothers me.

[Davio]

Sometimes my "new replies" topics line up in a funny way: I don't think "Drinking Random Stuff" is a particularly good idea though.

[theory]

I'm actually fairly annoyed by the fact that people can tag you on photos without your consent, and then the picture appears on your page. Is there anyway for me to prevent that? I don't mind the tagging specifically (odds are, people_that_know_my_name == people_that_recognize_my_face), it's the fact that it appears on my page that bothers me.

There are privacy settings for this I am almost certain.

[eHalcyon]

I've been blocked for "liking" too many posts by a "new" friend on FB. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I have very few friends so I see a LOT of what they post. I've also been blocked for complimenting people, because apparently compliment = infatuation in the world of Facebook.

A certain friend of mine (who I won't name but he has an account on F.DS and was my housemate for about two years) I've got blocked permanently on Facebook because on three occasions he's reported posts of mine as bullying him, and Facebook has upheld it and sanctioned me for various periods - the most recent being a 3 day ban and being told that any further infringement will result in a permanent ban. What was I doing to bully him? Oh, things like saying that he did something innocuous and not me, like renaming a group, or tagging him in a generic photo he's in. I'm such a bully.

Some thoughts on this:

1. Did he make that report facetiously?  Maybe he doesn't realize how serious Facebook takes reports like that.

2. Did he actually find your actions hurtful?  You might have meant some things in good fun and they may seem harmless to you, but some little things may bother your friend a lot more than he'd care to let on.

Either way, it's probably worth discussing the issue with that friend.

[Kuildeous]

I've been blocked for "liking" too many posts by a "new" friend on FB. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I have very few friends so I see a LOT of what they post. I've also been blocked for complimenting people, because apparently compliment = infatuation in the world of Facebook.

That has the potential of having other creep factors. I have a friend who will periodically like four or five of my posts/comments in rapid succession. I presume because he was interested enough to view my wall and see all my activities and liking a bunch of them. I know the guy; I'm not surprised if he doesn't have time to constantly read updates from friends on Facebook so he periodically goes through and reads the walls of people he is interested in. It's flattering, though I do admit a slight weirdness when I see him shotgun liking my posts.

I could see someone really taking that the wrong way and freaking out. That person might not realize that you're liking the posts of 10 other people. People can be self-centered, and they may see such behavior as obsessive stalking when they think you're only liking their posts.

As far as complimenting people…that can be taken too far. Some people simply can't take a compliment. Then again, there are people out there who pay a compliment that really is creepy, so it's hard to blame them.

I'm actually fairly annoyed by the fact that people can tag you on photos without your consent, and then the picture appears on your page. Is there anyway for me to prevent that? I don't mind the tagging specifically (odds are, people_that_know_my_name == people_that_recognize_my_face), it's the fact that it appears on my page that bothers me.

Yes, there is a setting. I don't know it off hand, but I set mine so that anyone who tags me (not just photos) shows up in my timeline queue. I can either accept adding it to the timeline or deny it. Of course, if it's a picture, that picture is still up on FB under that person's account, but it doesn't have to show up under my name.

[eHalcyon]

For the first time in a long time, I don't think I get today's SMBC comic:



Can somebody explain the joke?

[Donald X.]

btw... I still don't get the image thing. the image is on her fb page, so if posting an image is a problem, posting a link to the fb page must be a problem too. but I found her facebook page having zero information except her name. so her name must be private too. but man, it's a name. your name is like the least private thing you have, you get assigned one without your agreement and lots of people know him before you do. would it be inappropriate to post her name?

In this day and age, posting the image *is* giving us a link to the facebook page - I just go to google and search for that image. Then I make a facebook account and say I'm that creepy guy who stared at her in high school, and see what it gets me. But you took the image down :rage:

It's possible that youngsters will have different attitudes towards this stuff, that they will think, of course everyone who wants to can find that naked picture of me that I sent on my phone to my special someone and that they posted after we broke up; everyone has one of those and there's no hiding them. Currently people aren't trying so much to shut down google's image-based search, but somehow they draw the line at it being part of a pair of glasses. I don't really know where things are headed but it's interesting.

I frequently use streetview, and I was looking at a block one day and saw a house that had been blacked out. They must have told google, no, sry guys, do not show pictures of our house on the internets, and google said sure fine np. Those people must not know about the Streisand effect.

Anyway my advice is, go out to eat. Try a different restaurant each night and after a few nights you will have found a cute waitress in the here and now that you can wish you had the guts to talk to, and can stop thinking about this girl from 5 years ago who after all is someone else now.