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Author Topic: Random Stuff  (Read 1171160 times)

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LastFootnote

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4225 on: July 14, 2014, 11:29:20 am »
+7

I think I'll just do it. it's not like i can lose anything, worst case I'll pretty much be at the same position I was before I had the dream

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!

I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.
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KingZog3

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4226 on: July 14, 2014, 11:30:24 am »
0

Sounds like inception. You should have checked for your secret totem that everyone know about.
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4227 on: July 14, 2014, 11:37:28 am »
0

Quote
I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.
aww really? but that's the only way to contact her... I just want to talk a little bit about the old days, it's the only way to do it.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 11:54:53 am by silverspawn »
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Witherweaver

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4228 on: July 14, 2014, 11:42:51 am »
+4

Be sure to tell her you've been thinking about her since school and created an account just to see if she had one and used to dream about her and write in your notebook every night and...

Seriously though, maybe just create an account to get in touch with friends in general.  It's not that bad, somewhat useful, and can be ignored if needed.  You may find you want to get in contact with other people from your past, not just her.. and no harm if you're connecting with old friends and she is one of them.
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LastFootnote

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4229 on: July 14, 2014, 11:44:21 am »
+3

aww really? but that's the only way to contact her... I just want to talk a little bit about the old days, it's the only way to do it.

Man, I get that. Or at least I think I do. And I'm not trying to rain on your parade. I'm just telling you—as a friend—how it looks to me. I'm calling it like I see it. It seems to me that you're hoping this will go somewhere beyond friendship. If you had her phone number, then that would be one thing. You could give her a call and see if she wants to talk. But buying a phone just so you can give her a call would be strange, and I think she'll perceive creating a Facebook account just to contact her as strange. If she notices, that is. 

Maybe I'm way off base and this isn't as horrible an idea as it seems. It just worries me, is all. Anybody else want to weigh in on this?
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pacovf

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4230 on: July 14, 2014, 11:45:28 am »
+6

First of all, please don't post pictures of people on the internet without their consent. Yes, she's cute. No, she probably doesn't want to be ogled at by a forum of people she doesn't know. Please remove it.

Second of all, she is going to notice that you created a facebook account just to talk with her. Depending on how close you were to each other, she will feel somewhere between surprised, annoyed, and seriously creeped out. Because it's a stalkerish thing to do.

Third of all, yes you are hoping this will go somewhere. Otherwise you wouldn't say "it's still the kind of look that I find attractive, that hasn't changed".

Fourth, if it's been five years since the last time you talked, this is not the way to renew contact. Yes, you might get lucky, but you are stacking the deck against you. Honestly, there's probably no good way to renew contact anymore. It's fine, life does this to people all the time, especially after school and college.

Fifth... there's probably other girls in Germany? Whose company is enjoyable in non-platonic ways.



To be fair, sometimes people get into you in ways you can't describe and that aren't rational, and they stay there for far longer than they should, maybe even forever. Heck, maybe you will still remember this girl while being in a relationship with someone else. It's confusing. It doesn't mean you should try to bring a sense of closure to the situation above and against common sense.

Obviously, you are free to do whatever you want. Try not to frighten her in the process. And/or severly taint your public image.

I hope I haven't been harsh? Just trying to bring an outsider's perspective.

EDIT: yay 12 posts while editing this, so nobody will read it  :-X
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 12:08:33 pm by pacovf »
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Watno

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4231 on: July 14, 2014, 11:45:52 am »
+2

I think posting pictures of her in a public (or any) forum is much more creepy.
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KingZog3

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4232 on: July 14, 2014, 11:46:18 am »
0

Is this f.ds or a stalking forum? I feel like I'm creeping in this person now. :P

EDIT: double ninja'd
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 11:47:54 am by KingZog3 »
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4233 on: July 14, 2014, 11:49:22 am »
0

Quote
as a friend
oh, we're friends? <3

Quote
I think posting pictures of her in a public (or any) forum is much more creepy.
huh? it's on her facebook page. if you post picture on your facebook page, you obviously don't mind people seeing them. that's one of the reasons I don't want to do much with facebook.

Witherweaver

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4234 on: July 14, 2014, 11:50:50 am »
0

Quote
as a friend
oh, we're friends? <3

Quote
I think posting pictures of her in a public (or any) forum is much more creepy.
huh? it's on her facebook page. if you post picture on your facebook page, you obviously don't mind people seeing them. that's one of the reasons I don't want to do much with facebook.

The point is she voluntarily put it on there; she didn't give permission to someone to take that picture and post it somewhere else.

(You can argue there is implied permission, but it's hard not to see it in a bad way.)
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Kirian

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4235 on: July 14, 2014, 11:51:39 am »
+1

Quote
I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.
aww really? but that's the only way to contact her... I just want to talk a little bit about the old days, it's the only way to do it.

Dude, please kill the image, as described above.

Pre-edit:  I was going to give advice, but no.  Just... don't do this.
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4236 on: July 14, 2014, 11:54:41 am »
0

Quote
The point is she voluntarily put it on there; she didn't give permission to someone to take that picture and post it somewhere else.

I don't get it... isn't facebook this thing where everyhting you do gets spread around to everyone and whenever you upload anything you lose any claim of pricavy about it?

i mean what if i just linked her fb page?

but I can delete it if you want...

LastFootnote

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4237 on: July 14, 2014, 11:57:12 am »
0

Quote
I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.
aww really? but that's the only way to contact her... I just want to talk a little bit about the old days, it's the only way to do it.

Dude, please kill the image, as described above.

Pre-edit:  I was going to give advice, but no.  Just... don't do this.

I think Kirian and I are some of the oldest members of the forum. Not the oldest, but we have life experience. We know what we're talking about.
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4238 on: July 14, 2014, 11:59:06 am »
0

well, sorry about the image anyway. I've linked similar images in other forums before, and noone had a problem with it.

Witherweaver

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4239 on: July 14, 2014, 12:01:03 pm »
+3

Quote
The point is she voluntarily put it on there; she didn't give permission to someone to take that picture and post it somewhere else.

I don't get it... isn't facebook this thing where everyhting you do gets spread around to everyone and whenever you upload anything you lose any claim of pricavy about it?

i mean what if i just linked her fb page?

but I can delete it if you want...

No.. try using Facebook.  It really is to connect better with friends and family.  Yes, you lose legal privacy claims, but I basically expect that people that visit my Facebook page won't really do anything with my images that I wouldn't endorse.
I don't really want to see pictures of me popping up randomly on other websites, or used in ways I'm not aware of.  I, personally, wouldn't feel violated about it, because I tend to shrug things off, but I imagine people would be, especially a girl. 

You shouldn't link her FB page without her permission, either.  There is a difference between being out there and available and having someone direct others towards you.
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Kirian

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4240 on: July 14, 2014, 12:01:08 pm »
+1

Personal note:  I'm FB friends with a HS crush on FB, but the whole crush thing was (1) acknowledged and (2) resolved well before high school was over.  If the crush were still a secret, it would have been really, really, really creepy to send her a FB friend request even though all of this happened over twenty years ago.

Meanwhile, both of my exes routinely show up in FB's "You Might Know These People" lists (because of course we have multiple mutual friends), and I have no trouble not sending friend requests to them.
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LastFootnote

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4241 on: July 14, 2014, 12:03:31 pm »
0

well, sorry about the image anyway. I've linked similar images in other forums before, and noone had a problem with it.

For what it's worth, I have no problem with the image. I just think the fact that you posted it shows that you are very much interested in a relationship with her. Which means that you aren't really trying to get in touch with her "just to chat". That's how it looks to me, anyway. Sorry if I'm putting words in your mouth.
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Witherweaver

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4242 on: July 14, 2014, 12:04:13 pm »
+4

I say "especially a girl" above because (I'm pretty sure) girls are more likely to be stalked than men are.  Just about every girl I know has some story of a guy acting creepy towards her at some point (many have many such stories), and some have become somewhat conditioned to be on the defensive.  So this kind of behavior, while not done with any kind of malice intent, would set off red flags and worry a lot of people.
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Kirian

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4243 on: July 14, 2014, 12:07:45 pm »
+8

Quote
I feel obligated to inform you that from an outside, unbiased perspective, creating a Facebook account just to contact a girl you once had a crush on is VERY CREEPY. I strongly advise you not do it.
aww really? but that's the only way to contact her... I just want to talk a little bit about the old days, it's the only way to do it.

Dude, please kill the image, as described above.

Pre-edit:  I was going to give advice, but no.  Just... don't do this.

I think Kirian and I are some of the oldest members of the forum. Not the oldest, but we have life experience. We know what we're talking about.

* Kirian shakes cane in agreement

Edit:  Holy shit, the forum software supports emotes using "/em"
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LastFootnote

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4244 on: July 14, 2014, 12:09:33 pm »
0

* Kirian shakes cane in agreement

Edit:  Holy shit, the forum software supports emotes using "/em"

Nice find!
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pacovf

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4245 on: July 14, 2014, 12:13:37 pm »
0

I say "especially a girl" above because (I'm pretty sure) girls are more likely to be stalked than men are.  Just about every girl I know has some story of a guy acting creepy towards her at some point (many have many such stories), and some have become somewhat conditioned to be on the defensive.  So this kind of behavior, while not done with any kind of malice intent, would set off red flags and worry a lot of people.

Very much this. I wouldn't condone creating a facebook account just to send her a message, but posting pictures is right out, I'm afraid.

Also woooh all these responses so quickly. I am sorry we didn't say what you would have like us to say, but we thought you were about to make a big mistake...

In other news, also be careful about asking strangers in the internet about life advice! Yes, this contradicts everything I said beforehand!
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4246 on: July 14, 2014, 12:14:27 pm »
0

Quote
For what it's worth, I have no problem with the image. I just think the fact that you posted it shows that you are very much interested in a relationship with her. Which means that you aren't really trying to get in touch with her "just to chat". That's how it looks to me, anyway. Sorry if I'm putting words in your mouth.
you're way too concerned about my feelings... but no, I'm absolutely not trying to do any of that stuff. It never even considered the idea. aside from everything else, I don't think she is the kind of person I could have a functioning relationship with.

to be honest, I didn't even expect people to draw that conclusion (it's cool that it spawned so much discussion though  :) ). maybe I have a different perspective on relationships, but even considering a person you haven't seen in such a long time seems like really stupid to me. I have no idea what kind of a person she is, she has no idea what kind of a person I am, there's nothing to start with. thats probably why I didn't realize how weird it would be... in my mind it's really harmless

oh and she has a friend too, according to her fb page. or a girlfriend.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 12:19:56 pm by silverspawn »
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Witherweaver

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4247 on: July 14, 2014, 12:23:46 pm »
+1

Well, I still think it's okay to just become a regular Facebook user.  At some point you can reconnect with friends from the past, and there's no harm in that.  I got in touch with multiple people that I went to high school with through Facebook.. and in most cases got to know them better than I did in high school. (I was also a loner in high school.)
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enfynet

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4248 on: July 14, 2014, 12:30:12 pm »
+5

I'm very good at being accidentally creepy. You're idea is about on par with most of mine...
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silverspawn

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Re: Random Stuff
« Reply #4249 on: July 14, 2014, 12:35:35 pm »
0

btw... I still don't get the image thing. the image is on her fb page, so if posting an image is a problem, posting a link to the fb page must be a problem too. but I found her facebook page having zero information except her name. so her name must be private too. but man, it's a name. your name is like the least private thing you have, you get assigned one without your agreement and lots of people know him before you do. would it be inappropriate to post her name?
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