This is one of my favorite topics so far.
Let me just add:
[snip]
Scumbag Santa knows what your subconscious wants.
No... Now you've done it. The great nation of ponies is coming to attack! All manly men to arms! Villagers man your Villages! Jesters Keep Jestering! Jack Of All Trades Teach the others how to be manlier men! And most important of all, Coppersmiths, I hereby order you all to, become Goldsmiths or join the ponies
So what, women aren't allowed to play Dominion? I'm sure the nice lady on the Forge card would beg to differ.
You're right! Take all the women away for safety!
5 hours later
Villager: uhh... Sir?
Me: Yes?
Villager: Well... we told the women to go away and well...
Me: Hmm?
Villager.. They all went away... to the Ponies....
Me: WHAT? NOOOOO! Please tell me we at least kept the Witches.
Villager: Well... one stayed... but uhh....
Me: Yes?
Villager: She wants gifts or she will leave too.
Me: Fine... tell the Witch she can rig as many competitions for herself to win as she wants. Free of charge bla bla bla. And, if anyone reports her or w/e she is allowed to do whatever she wants with them outside of lethal action unless they are obviously with the ponies. Also, be warned, teenage boys have been infected by the Pony Plague. Just check out
this scout report. But be warned... it is terrifying.Villager: Omg how did so many teenagers be caught by their influence?
Me: I don't want to know...
DUN DUN DUN...