I see your logic, and it's entirely pragmatic (you could be either pro or anti simulators, I can't tell from that last post). The thing is that there's various things that are not set up right for competitive play - why are time-out kicks optional? If there's a time-limit that you exceeded, tough shit, game over (like chess), if there isn't a time limit then and it's just in case someone dropped then a) why can I kick someone none-the-less, and b) you will need a real time limit if simulators are allowed otherwise you might get kicked for the wrong reasons - taking too long is not against the rules, and if you take too long because you're simulating then that's not against the rules either is it? The timers would need a countdown too.
Basically, if a simulator is allowed then fuck it I'm going to run as many simulations as I damn well want before my first turn, and during the rest of the game too. Regardless of it being less fun, that's now a situation that needs dealing with in a proper way if it's fair competition you're worried about.
The only real solution is, I'm afraid, that you simply cannot have meaningful competitive play online with iso in its current state. The only way to allow aids is to bring them into the game and thus control them effectively. Otherwise it would be like having a hard and fast time-limit in chess without actually providing the clock, but hey, you can bring your own if you want.