| 139. Province The Province art offers us a scenic vista; the yellow-red hues of the land hint that evening nears in the kingdom, and a placid lake rests on her bosom. An armed formation of troops stands in the center, poised to march in to the lake and drown. It's a mellow scene, one that is calming, perhaps soothing to the player who has fought the whole game to earn such victory. I'm not sure what that pattern is on the flag, though. It looks a bit like a yellowed strand of bacon; perhaps diseased. We can fix that by placing it on the skillet and heating at 350 degrees for a couple of minutes. |
| 138. Sir Vander Vander and his horse are imposing and rugged, truly the types of warriors you don't want to mess with on the battlefield. You can tell they both ate copious amounts of bacon this morning, adorned with cinnamon and extra pig fat to add spice and vigor. While the background is but a pale fog, the mountains that stand smaller than the magnificent Vander show his characteristic strength. It's all rather wonderfully done, even if the doomed knight is bound to become a sack of gold come morning. Maybe we shouldn't even bother preparing his breakfast.
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| 137. Peddler Peddler isn't the first ambiguously gendered character we've seen on a Dominion card. Hopefully two out of however many has been enough to satiate the gender-neutral community. My dogs are both neutral now; some guy I met last Thursday told me it might be because I haven't fed them enough bacon. Putting all that aside, this is a great little picture. The Peddler's choice of dress is fashionable (we're after Labor Day but I'll give the poor guy/girl the benefit of a doubt), especially his/her fancy hat. S/he's even offering a peace pipe from his/her enormous arms. The little cart behind him/her is brimming with detail, which helps to bring the scene to life. I can buy that this Peddler is making bank in the community, and I hope I can get a few sacks of raw bacon on the cheap once I'm done here today.
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| 136. Swindler
If you don't think this man's facial expression and mannerisms are perfect, man, we just don't see eye to eye. In terms of those, it's one of the most skillfully realized pictures on all of the range of card art. The trees are a little washed out, and I'm not sure about the pink outfit (those creases and folds are a bit over the top if you ask me) but he certainly looks stylish enough to score this highly on the list. There's really just one other problem I have. I was munching on a strip of bacon a moment ago, and now I'm carrying a pipe bomb instead. BRB
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| 135. Laboratoy
This is such an efficient-looking laboratory; Dexter would be proud. You can see all the warlocks boiling up the bacon grease in those giant flasks, and the oven is at the ready. I love how this card meshes aesthetically with Alchemist later on too, but we'll get to him. There's some excellent color choice here (browns and grays, but they work), and it you squint enough you can make out details you probably never noticed. Like a lot of these packed pictures, it benefits a lot from looking at high-res art, which has to count against it somewhat since cards are the intended vehicle of ocular bacon. I mean pleasure. Just watch out for girls with pigtails; they can do a number on these wonderful places.
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| 134. Masquerade
There are some cards that are just beautiful and striking. There are some cards with a lot of great technical detail that makes them shine. Some, like Masquerade here, are effective because of the mood they convey more than the image itself. Oh, not that the masks aren't interesting. Not that the man hiding his strip of bacon behind the sad mask isn't fabulously handsome. It's the red and black colors, though, that give us the feeling of a sinister ball where shady things are being exchanged. I came to this place for breakfast and left with a chainsaw I didn't ask for. You can't even cut bacon in to thin strips with this thing; it just saws holes in the paper you're soaking the grease off with. Eeriness is a mood that's easier to pull off than many, but it's hard to deny how effective it is. I like the cards that make me feel something as much as the ones that look nice, though I wish I could say this one fits in both of those worlds for me. If it did, it'd rank much higher.
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| 133. Noble Brigand Lush forest scenery, a nicely-draw arrow, and Nicolas Cage wearing a dreary thief's cloak. It's like something out of a dream. The ferns on the left are nice, and the bacon growing on them looks scrumptious if a bit round. Maybe they're potatoes, actually. Hash browns go pretty well on the side. I guess the thing I don't like about this picture is Mr. Cage's face. He seems awfully smug, when he should have a more noble expression if he plans to bring home the bacon for the less fortunate. His arms are also goliathine, but that seems to be a common symptom among Dominion card characters. Overall, I'm not saying this looks bad because it doesn't, but parts of it could use some shrinking or reworking. The Russian judge would give him a 4.5, but we all know that probably doesn't mean anything one way or the other. |
| 132. Duke
Guess what, it's the same window the Duchess was standing near! Or is it? I'm not actually going to fact-check that, but I think it is. What, you think I'm putting effort in to this now? Anyway, the Duke seems like a nice guy. I like his shirt, but it appears to be made of the same material as his chair. In fact, I wonder if the bacon plant came from the same farm. I would also like to say that it's criminal this guy didn't end up on SirPeebles's facial hair list; that is one beastly stache he has going on. The resemblance to Mario is noted. The shape of the window bothers me, though I guess someone might have cut it out wrong and never bothered to fix it. Maybe they missed breakfast that morning. |
| 131. Merchant Guild The red tone doesn't work entirely for me here, but it's not that bad either. The wigs and wine make this out to be a true meeting of the minds where only the highest-quality bacon is at the hors d'oeuvre table. Something about the grumpy, confident looks on these guys faces really jumps out to me, though I can't say what it is. If I can offer one real criticism, the crowd in the background seems pretty lazy to me, not just because there's no detail, but because every single person is standing so far away from the focal characters. It's a mixed bacon bag, folks.
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| 130. Stables We end this group of ten on a picture that isn't stellar but gets the job done nicely. The horses are cute, the men don't seem out of place, and the stables are well-kept. It's average in every way, which is a good thing, since next year's update will begin the very center of the list. Ever wondered why all the horses are being dropped off at the stables in this picture? Judging by the sky, I'd say this is taking place mid-afternoon. About time for dinner, perhaps. Go on, guess. I think you're smart enough to figure this one out.
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