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Author Topic: (Bad) Puns Thread!  (Read 19162 times)

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Archetype

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2013, 11:51:46 pm »
+10
Whiteboards are remarkable.
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eHalcyon

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #26 on: June 26, 2013, 01:15:56 pm »
+2
It's tough to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.  They always take things literally.
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theory

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #27 on: June 26, 2013, 02:54:56 pm »
+4
The magic tractor drove down the road, then turned into a field.
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Kuildeous

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #28 on: June 26, 2013, 03:33:13 pm »
0
Quote from: theory on June 26, 2013, 02:54:56 pm
The magic tractor drove down the road, then turned into a field.

Doesn't that detract from the subject?
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Axxle

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #29 on: June 26, 2013, 04:10:08 pm »
+1
I tried to get a team together to solve a problem involving massless, frictionless pulleys.  It didn't get much traction.
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mail-mi

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #30 on: June 26, 2013, 07:45:17 pm »
+1
I know a guy that's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
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Quote from: ashersky on June 11, 2015, 02:37:28 am
I currently imagine mail-mi wearing a dark trenchcoat and a bowler hat, hunched over a bit, toothpick in his mouth, holding a gun in his pocket.  One bead of sweat trickling down his nose.

'And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." - Moroni 7:41, the Book of Mormon

Dsell

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #31 on: June 26, 2013, 08:03:03 pm »
+5
If you guys have a twitter account, follow @AceMakesWords. Even if you don't, look him up. He consistently has some of the best puns I've ever seen. https://twitter.com/AceMakesWords

Edit: if you don't believe me, here are some samples:

You practice autocannibalism? You're full of yourself

You want a small coffee from Starbucks? That's a tall order

This budding anatomist isn't great yet but his heart is in the right place

First you said Y=X, then Y=2X, and now Y=3X? This is a slippery slope

"You've been diagnosed with acute incredulity" BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

My failed sculpting company went bust

Why does this police sketch artist keep drawing aggressor's heads facing sideways? That's profiling

The umpires at this baseball game have replaced the balls with human body parts but nobody's even batted an eye
« Last Edit: June 26, 2013, 08:08:56 pm by Dsell »
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SirPeebles

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #32 on: June 26, 2013, 11:50:21 pm »
+1
Quote from: Dsell on June 26, 2013, 08:03:03 pm
If you guys have a twitter account, follow @AceMakesWords. Even if you don't, look him up. He consistently has some of the best puns I've ever seen. https://twitter.com/AceMakesWords

Found this one:

The candlestick maker is on the mafia's hitlist? He's going to get snuffed.

Edit:  Have you all tried a Mafia game as Guilds characters?
« Last Edit: June 26, 2013, 11:51:22 pm by SirPeebles »
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Quote from: Axxle on April 30, 2014, 07:03:52 pm
Well you *do* need a signature...

mail-mi

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #33 on: June 27, 2013, 03:26:30 pm »
0
Quote from: SirPeebles on June 26, 2013, 11:50:21 pm
Quote from: Dsell on June 26, 2013, 08:03:03 pm
If you guys have a twitter account, follow @AceMakesWords. Even if you don't, look him up. He consistently has some of the best puns I've ever seen. https://twitter.com/AceMakesWords

Found this one:

The candlestick maker is on the mafia's hitlist? He's going to get snuffed.

Edit:  Have you all tried a Mafia game as Guilds characters?
No but... we should.
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Quote from: ashersky on June 11, 2015, 02:37:28 am
I currently imagine mail-mi wearing a dark trenchcoat and a bowler hat, hunched over a bit, toothpick in his mouth, holding a gun in his pocket.  One bead of sweat trickling down his nose.

'And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." - Moroni 7:41, the Book of Mormon

Axxle

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #34 on: June 27, 2013, 04:03:34 pm »
+7
Quote from: SirPeebles on June 26, 2013, 11:50:21 pm
Edit:  Have you all tried a Mafia game as Guilds characters?
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SirPeebles

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #35 on: June 27, 2013, 06:56:17 pm »
+3
I think I speak for everyone when I say that my becoming a solipsist was the best decision anyone has ever made.
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Quote from: Axxle on April 30, 2014, 07:03:52 pm
Well you *do* need a signature...

SirPeebles

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #36 on: June 28, 2013, 10:49:16 pm »
+8
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."  But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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Quote from: Axxle on April 30, 2014, 07:03:52 pm
Well you *do* need a signature...

Dsell

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #37 on: July 03, 2013, 04:42:44 pm »
+3
In the moment before the apple hit Newton's head, he didn't realize the gravity of the situation.
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eHalcyon

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #38 on: July 03, 2013, 05:24:25 pm »
+3
Rick will happily lend you any movie in his Pixar connection except for one.  Which one?
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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #39 on: July 03, 2013, 06:42:41 pm »
+2
Quote from: eHalcyon on July 03, 2013, 05:24:25 pm
Rick will happily lend you any movie in his Pixar connection except for one.  Which one?

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Quote from: Witherweaver on October 29, 2014, 03:10:13 pm
Quote from: Donald X. on October 28, 2014, 04:29:33 pm
...spin-offs are still better for all of the previously cited reasons.
But not strictly better, because the spinoff can have a different cost than the expansion.

Dsell

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #40 on: July 04, 2013, 12:56:55 am »
+1
(From AceMakesWords)

George Lucas opens a jewelry store and has a day-long sale on necklaces. Happy Indy Pendants Day
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eHalcyon

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #41 on: July 09, 2013, 05:05:31 pm »
+1
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mail-mi

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #42 on: July 19, 2013, 12:41:36 pm »
0
Quote from: mail-mi on July 18, 2013, 01:59:30 pm
Quote from: shark_bait on July 18, 2013, 01:51:15 pm
Quote from: mail-mi on July 17, 2013, 07:22:00 pm
Quote from: SirPeebles on July 17, 2013, 06:38:21 pm
Quote from: shark_bait on July 16, 2013, 04:27:34 pm
Quote from: remarkiwa on July 14, 2013, 01:56:18 am
A friend of mine introduced me to Dominion about a year ago, and we quickly became intrigued

I sea what you did there.  ;)

Was this side comment necessary?

Oh my these are some prosperous puns.

I'm just trying to get the F.DS user base to promote the introduction of a new member.

Oh man all these chesy puns are killing my brain!

Quote from: AJD on July 19, 2013, 02:08:27 am
Wait, what puns? Can you give me a hint? Or are you just going to keep me in the dark?

I felt these needed to be cross-posted.
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Quote from: ashersky on June 11, 2015, 02:37:28 am
I currently imagine mail-mi wearing a dark trenchcoat and a bowler hat, hunched over a bit, toothpick in his mouth, holding a gun in his pocket.  One bead of sweat trickling down his nose.

'And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." - Moroni 7:41, the Book of Mormon

AJD

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #43 on: July 20, 2013, 12:22:20 am »
+2
Quote from: mail-mi on July 19, 2013, 12:41:36 pm
I felt these needed to be cross-posted.

Eh, not corny enough.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2013, 12:23:22 am by AJD »
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Dsell

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #44 on: July 20, 2013, 02:13:06 am »
0
*coronation* I dub thee Pun Czar!
Haha I'm Putin the "pun" in "pundit!"
*cheers*
*man sneers in thick Russian accent*
Pun Czar horrible...
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sudgy

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #45 on: July 21, 2013, 12:03:28 am »
0
*Puts arm around someone else's shoulder*

"You are now armed."
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   Quote from: sudgy on June 31, 2011, 11:47:46 pm

mail-mi

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #46 on: July 28, 2013, 12:36:19 am »
+1
I went on a camping trip last week. It was in tents.
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Quote from: ashersky on June 11, 2015, 02:37:28 am
I currently imagine mail-mi wearing a dark trenchcoat and a bowler hat, hunched over a bit, toothpick in his mouth, holding a gun in his pocket.  One bead of sweat trickling down his nose.

'And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." - Moroni 7:41, the Book of Mormon

scott_pilgrim

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #47 on: August 27, 2013, 12:01:50 pm »
+9
"I trash, therefore I +$5" - René Deathcart.
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eHalcyon

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #48 on: August 27, 2013, 12:29:25 pm »
0
Quote from: scott_pilgrim on August 27, 2013, 12:01:50 pm
"I trash, therefore I +$5" - René Deathcart.

Probably it would go the other way around.  You get +$5 regardless of whether you trash. :)
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liopoil

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Re: (Bad) Puns Thread!
« Reply #49 on: August 27, 2013, 12:30:45 pm »
+4
you could stick with "am" because if deathcart doesn't trash, he is no more.
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