Topic: (Bad) Puns Thread! (Read 19148 times)

mail-mi · « **on:** February 21, 2013, 11:03:47 pm »

I renamed my iPod the titanic. It's syncing now.

Broken pencils are pointless

Edit: This may help: http://m.

Axxle · « **Reply #1 on:** February 22, 2013, 02:34:25 pm »

The contractor forgot to tighten all the bolts to the elevator when installing it, now they're screwed.

Titandrake · « **Reply #2 on:** February 22, 2013, 06:35:37 pm »

I think he's internalized his girlfriend's attitudes, and so his tastes have changed.

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http://xkcd.com/559/

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Drab Emordnilap · « **Reply #3 on:** February 23, 2013, 12:02:44 am »

FROG PARKING ONLY

All Others Will Be Toad

Kirian · « **Reply #4 on:** February 23, 2013, 06:30:15 pm »

How does a rabbi make wine for Passover? Hebrews it!

Morgrim7 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 24, 2013, 03:40:55 am »

When chemists die, we barium.

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

^_^_^_^ · « **Reply #6 on:** February 24, 2013, 08:18:02 am »

A clown retires and decides to hand over the business to his son.
His son says: "I dunno, Dad, those are big shoes to fill."

werothegreat · « **Reply #7 on:** May 11, 2013, 06:47:24 pm »

A boy from Alabama marries a girl from Palestine, and they name their son Yasir Yabetcha.

AdamH · « **Reply #8 on:** May 11, 2013, 07:52:16 pm »

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

Kirian · « **Reply #9 on:** May 11, 2013, 08:01:27 pm »

Quote from: AdamH on May 11, 2013, 07:52:16 pm

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

Sure you can, you just have to mess with its scales.

AdamH · « **Reply #10 on:** May 11, 2013, 08:04:07 pm »

Which knight invented the round table?

Sir Cumference

Dsell · « **Reply #11 on:** May 11, 2013, 08:36:12 pm »

Have you seen Skrillex's new cooking video?

He drops the beet.

mail-mi · « **Reply #12 on:** May 11, 2013, 08:41:22 pm »

Why did Moses rub his shoulder? Hebrews'd it!

Axxle · « **Reply #13 on:** May 11, 2013, 11:15:26 pm »

Quote from: Dsell on May 11, 2013, 08:36:12 pm

Have you seen Skrillex's new cooking video?

He drops the beet.

Lettuce
Turnip
The beet

zporiri · « **Reply #14 on:** May 12, 2013, 12:08:03 am »

What do you call someone who teaches people how to fart?

A tutor.

eHalcyon · « **Reply #15 on:** May 12, 2013, 02:24:08 am »

Quote from: Dsell on May 11, 2013, 08:36:12 pm

Have you seen Skrillex's new cooking video?

He drops the beet.

Awaclus · « **Reply #16 on:** May 12, 2013, 03:09:14 am »

I sent ten puns to a pun contest, hoping that one would win, but no pun in ten did.

sudgy · « **Reply #17 on:** May 12, 2013, 03:12:55 pm »

Quote from: Awaclus on May 12, 2013, 03:09:14 am

I sent ten puns to a pun contest, hoping that one would win, but no pun in ten did.

Was it punintentional?

mail-mi · « **Reply #18 on:** May 12, 2013, 06:48:49 pm »

Quote from: sudgy on May 12, 2013, 03:12:55 pm

Quote from: Awaclus on May 12, 2013, 03:09:14 am
I sent ten puns to a pun contest, hoping that one would win, but no pun in ten did.

Was it punintentional?

Aw man I feel like I've been punished.

Kuildeous · « **Reply #19 on:** May 13, 2013, 08:50:10 am »

Quote from: AdamH on May 11, 2013, 08:04:07 pm

Which knight invented the round table?

Sir Cumference

I guess it's obvious what Sir Cumcision invented. He started on family, but he had to force kin to do it.

theory · « **Reply #20 on:** May 13, 2013, 12:06:18 pm »

Three brothers started a cattle ranch, but could not think of a name for it.

They asked their father, and he suggested Focus: because that's where the sun's rays meet.

ConMan · « **Reply #21 on:** May 13, 2013, 08:16:24 pm »

When you go to a meeting of a historical reenactment society, it's usually pretty easy to work out what nationality everyone is. The Scot is in his Braveheart-style kilt and woad, the Japanese wears Samurai armour, and of course the Czech is in the mail.

Axxle · « **Reply #22 on:** June 24, 2013, 08:43:58 pm »

Galzria · « **Reply #23 on:** June 24, 2013, 08:58:23 pm »

Quote from: Axxle on June 24, 2013, 08:43:58 pm

I feel ripped off.

Galzria · « **Reply #24 on:** June 24, 2013, 09:03:46 pm »

I tried to force Sir Cumvent to come post here... but he always seems to find a way of avoiding me.

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Author Topic: (Bad) Puns Thread! (Read 19148 times)