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Author Topic: Dominion song parodies  (Read 32949 times)

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Just a Rube

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #125 on: December 29, 2014, 10:27:34 pm »
0

Well the Seaside of Dominion
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a card name of Pirate Ship

Now Pirate more than trouble
You see he cost exactly four
All those downtown ladies call him "Treasure Lover"
All the men just call him "Sir"

Chorus:
And he's bad, bad Pirate Ship
The baddest card in the whole damn strip
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog


Now Pirate he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to trash them treasure cards
Under everybody's nose

He got a Philosopher's Stone
He got Ill-Gotten Gains too
He got a Platinum in his pocket full a fun
He got a Silver in his shoe

Chorus

Well Friday 'bout a week ago
Pirate makin' trash
And at the top of the deck
Sat a card named Copper
And oh that card looked flash

Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon begat
And Pirate Ship had learned a lesson
'Bout a-trashing with the junk of an engine deck

Chorus

Well the two decks took to fighting
And when they pulled them from the floor
Pirate looked like a jigsaw puzzle
With a couple of pieces gone

And it's bad, bad Pirate Ship
The baddest card in the whole damn strip
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
« Last Edit: December 29, 2014, 10:28:53 pm by Just a Rube »
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Elanchana

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #126 on: December 30, 2014, 09:54:19 am »
+4

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enfynet

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #127 on: December 30, 2014, 10:05:48 pm »
0

Because you know I only got dat base...
I hope you have a hard copy of this to show your children some day. ;)
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Asper

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #128 on: February 08, 2015, 08:56:37 am »
0

I got a card that costed 4,
but when i play it, then what for?
I really feel that you should know,
that for the Scout you shouldn't go.

Does it trash cards? It never trashs cards.
Does it gain cards? No it never gains cards.
Does it draw cards? It NEVER draws cards.

It does nothing, the Scout does nothing!
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pubby

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #129 on: February 11, 2015, 12:54:02 pm »
+20

How about Dominion albums?



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Seprix

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #130 on: February 12, 2015, 09:40:24 pm »
+2

Come gather 'round players
Wherever you game
Now look, Iso's gone
Things just ain't the same
Now Goko has rights
They boldly proclaim
But now Making Fun has the reigns
It had better not be shoddy
Like Goko was
Or the devs, they'll soon be changin'.
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werothegreat

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #131 on: February 13, 2015, 12:17:11 am »
+2

Twinkle, twinkle little Rats
Look at you, so cute and fat!
What the fuck do you guys do?
Honestly I've not a clue
Twinkle, twinkle little Rats
You'd look dapper wearing spats
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jsh357

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #132 on: February 13, 2015, 02:43:24 pm »
+3



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silvern

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #133 on: February 16, 2015, 10:25:57 pm »
+1

From "Modern Major General" by Gilbert and Sullivan

Let's see the board today, oh my
It's looking like a awesome game
There's young witch as the curser
And we've got some squires as the bane

An engine looks quite winning
With some upgrades and some monuments
And King's Court seals the deal
And only adds to my excitement.

But look here, we have pools galore
To scry and scry and draw a bit
My deck is gonna soar
(Although each turn will take a hundred clicks.)

We open Upgrade/Squire
And trash into a nice scrying pool
Opponent goes big money
Quite unknowing that he will get screwed

I thin some more and trash estates
So that my deck's in tip-top shape
I dish out lots of curses
There's no way now that he can escape
(He thins some more, trashing estates
So that his deck's in tip-top shape
He dishes out the curses
There's no way that that dude can escape)

Opponent's got three provinces
But I still have the upper hand
I'm playing 20 actions each turn
All part of my expert plan

My monuments are churning
Dishing out piles of victr'y chips
(Opponent's AFK, he said
"I'll be back in five minutes")

No problem for me of course
For I have some tactics choices now
Do I play this pool first, then upgrade
Or the other way around?

In any case I'm winning
(well worth all the time I've wasted now)
The only thing left to do is
To find a way to pile out

So here we go, a well-won game
I'm gonna end it, so hurray!
Let's buy out all the estates
and I'll--
*goko crashes*

« Last Edit: February 17, 2015, 08:27:08 am by silvern »
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Elanchana

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #134 on: February 20, 2015, 06:52:08 pm »
+1

Cul, tist, junk you up. Cultist junk you up.  8)


I have no idea what would happen to the rest of the song but that was kinda stuck in my head last night.
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silvern

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #135 on: February 21, 2015, 11:03:41 pm »
0

You've got to buy some cards, love
You've got to buy some cards, for me
And trashing is just fine, cuz
I have possessed your hand

(From Death Cab for Cutie's "I have possessed your heart")
« Last Edit: February 22, 2015, 11:05:37 am by silvern »
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ConMan

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #136 on: March 02, 2015, 06:25:11 pm »
0

Cul, tist, junk you up. Cultist junk you up.  8)


I have no idea what would happen to the rest of the song but that was kinda stuck in my head last night.
Uptown Funk, I presume.
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Asper

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #137 on: March 02, 2015, 09:01:30 pm »
+3

Some from the Beatles:
Jesterday
Can't buy me Grand Market
Penny Loan
Masqerade Peppers lonely card swap band
Greening for the benefit of Mister Scout
The long and winding slog
Helter Shelter
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eHalcyon

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #138 on: March 31, 2015, 05:38:12 pm »
+7

And now for another Page out of the song book...

Where have all the Warriors gone
And where is all the Gold?
Where's that lady Traveller now
Her story still untold?
Isn't there a Madame Knight upon a Trusty Steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a Hero
I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the shuffle is right
She's gotta be strong
Well she's not very fast
But she'll gain me some Platinum might
I need a Hero
I'm holding out for a Hero in this Big Money fight
I'm totally sure
That I'm drawing her soon
And the gain will be larger than life

...

And she's travelling on and on and on and on

This is the Champion, my friends
And she'll keep on fighting 'til the end
She is the Champion!
She is the Champion!
No time for losers
'Cause she is the Champion of the world
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ConMan

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #139 on: March 31, 2015, 08:58:25 pm »
+2

And now for another Page out of the song book...

Where have all the Warriors gone
And just for that ...

Where have all the Pages gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Pages gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Pages gone?
Treasure Hunters, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Gone to Warriors, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Warriors gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Warriors gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Warriors gone?
Gone to Heros, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Heroes gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Heroes gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Heroes gone?
Gone to Champions, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
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jsh357

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #140 on: April 03, 2015, 01:09:42 pm »
+1

Man I've been waiting forever for this one.

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NoMoreFun

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #141 on: April 23, 2015, 11:23:58 pm »
0

Some from the Beatles:
Jesterday
Can't buy me Grand Market
Penny Loan
Masqerade Peppers lonely card swap band
Greening for the benefit of Mister Scout
The long and winding slog
Helter Shelter

Taxman
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eHalcyon

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #142 on: February 20, 2016, 08:39:08 pm »
+12

It's the third turn on a loaded board
The opening buys shuffled in
There are so many 3/4 components
Making plans 'cause I'm playing to win

I say, "Son I don't usually use this one
I'm not really sure how it goes
Though it tends to be weak
This time it competes
Let's see if my strategy holds..."

La la la di da da
La la di da da da dum

Gain me a card, you're the Talisman!
Gain me a card tonight!
Well I'm sure in the mood for efficiency
And for once you might do alright

Now down at the Tavern I've set it up
Duplicates ready to call
'Cause I won some key splits, P1's ready to quit
Two Highways and I'll win it all

I say, "terminal draw's not available"
As a smile appeared on my face
"But the next turn is gonna be beautiful,
We're nearing the end of this race..."

Oh la la la di da da
La la di da da da dum

Draw me some cards, all you Caravans!
Draw me more cards tonight!
Well I'm sure in the mood for a mega-turn
And with this hand I might do alright
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Asper

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #143 on: February 20, 2016, 10:03:41 pm »
+1

So this thread is active again? Then this one's for Roadrunner:

This is the game.
Hold your breath, you know it's lame.
Feel the urge to buy it, when
you know it's a mistake.

But this is the game.
Mystic and Inheritance,
Apothecary and Harem...
Will it really be the same?

Will the Scout fail?
Will it not pay?
Will it be bale?
Or was RR
right and won't the Scout Fail?
Won't it be frail?
Won't it make you wail?
You've seen it all -- but always did Scout fail.

Will Scout fail?

"Scout fails" is where he starts.
A thousand games he says he saw
where all came down to just that card
he may have examples
but he ain't my faith.
Cause i'll never think it's not

one big Scout fail.
It will be in vain.
Though it tastes stale
i tell you all:
It's always one big Scout fail.
It will be the same.
There's not one trail
of power in this card.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.


In case it's not obvious:    Skyfall   
« Last Edit: February 20, 2016, 10:05:26 pm by Asper »
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Roadrunner7671

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #144 on: February 20, 2016, 10:17:13 pm »
0

So this thread is active again? Then this one's for Roadrunner:

This is the game.
Hold your breath, you know it's lame.
Feel the urge to buy it, when
you know it's a mistake.

But this is the game.
Mystic and Inheritance,
Apothecary and Harem...
Will it really be the same?

Will the Scout fail?
Will it not pay?
Will it be bale?
Or was RR
right and won't the Scout Fail?
Won't it be frail?
Won't it make you wail?
You've seen it all -- but always did Scout fail.

Will Scout fail?

"Scout fails" is where he starts.
A thousand games he says he saw
where all came down to just that card
he may have examples
but he ain't my faith.
Cause i'll never think it's not

one big Scout fail.
It will be in vain.
Though it tastes stale
i tell you all:
It's always one big Scout fail.
It will be the same.
There's not one trail
of power in this card.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.


In case it's not obvious:    Skyfall   
I see. I think I know exactly what you need: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=14803.msg570501#msg570501
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benedettosoxfan

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #145 on: June 26, 2017, 11:29:40 am »
+16

I hate to be that guy who bumps an old thread and I know someone's already done a Piano Man parody, but this came to me in a dream last night and I couldn't not share it. It's a little ode to guilds:

Itís 9 turns into a dominion game
The rest of my deck shuffled in
Thereís a journeyman looking back at me
And I know that heíll help me to win

He says son came you name me a victory?
Iím not really sure where itís at
But I know that youíd hate to draw that useless estate
So Iíll skip it and thatíll be that

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Name us a card youíre the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well weíre trying to set up menagerie,
And youíll make our hand look alright

Now butcher from guilds is a friend of mine
He gains me more cards for free
And heís great in a slog and a good engine cog
If you try it Iím sure youíll agree

The advisor he reveals a trilogy
My opponent, he hatches a plan
Now Iím sure that I should have played cartographer
Cause Iíve picked up 2 green cards in hand

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now doctorís an early game trasher
Whoís better when you overpay
And heís talking with baker and candlestick maker
Who generate tokens for days

And the herald is setting up action chains
As the merchant guild gives me more buys
Yes theyíre building a deck based on synergy
Itís the greatest plan ever devised.

Name us a card youíre the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well weíre trying to set up menagerie,
And youíll make our hand look alright

Itís a pretty good hand for a megaturn
And the stonemason gives me a smile
Cause itís gold that he sees, which can trash to duchies
And can soon end the game on 3 piles

And the masterpiece gains me a silver flood
As the soothsayer deals out a curse
And I want to play taxman but Iím all out of actions
Guess I should have played my plaza first

Name us a card youíre the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well weíre trying to set up menagerie,
And youíll make our hand look alright
« Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 11:49:19 am by benedettosoxfan »
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Cave-o-sapien

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #146 on: June 27, 2017, 05:57:57 pm »
+3

I hate to be that guy who bumps an old thread and I know someone's already done a Piano Man parody, but this came to me in a dream last night and I couldn't not share it. It's a little ode to guilds:

Itís 9 turns into a dominion game
The rest of my deck shuffled in
Thereís a journeyman looking back at me
And I know that heíll help me to win

This is very well done. Quite often people blow the meter on these things, but you've nailed it.

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.
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ConMan

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #147 on: June 27, 2017, 09:51:18 pm »
0

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.
Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?
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Cave-o-sapien

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #148 on: June 27, 2017, 11:12:01 pm »
0

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.
Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?

Ha! I had the same thought re: Tangled up in Blue, but the song is so damn sprawling it was too intimidating.

Visions of Dame Anna?



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benedettosoxfan

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Re: Dominion song parodies
« Reply #149 on: June 28, 2017, 12:13:51 pm »
+7

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.
Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?

Ha! I had the same thought re: Tangled up in Blue, but the song is so damn sprawling it was too intimidating.

Visions of Dame Anna?

Challenge accepted. The thing about Bob Dylan is his style kind of wanders so much that you don't have to really adhere to a super strict syllable count and you can kind of tweak the delivery to make it flow however you want to fit the meter so it's not quite as hard as it seems at first.
Having said that, here's Tangled Up In Blue: A comedy of errors starring your favorite reaction cards.

Early one game I played a witch
He revealed me a moat
Left me looking like a fool
Left him happy to gloat
They said those attacking fives
Would sure make things insane
They never did tell me that little guy
Was a universal bane
I was hoping for some silver and gold
As two cards came my way
But I got colliding terminals
I could not even play
What I just drew
Tangled up in blue

He had 5 cards ready to go
I thought that needed to change
Played my militia but then lo
He started to do something strange
Picked up a pair to give him more
And then discarded down
That diplomat had something in store
Acts like a shanty town
He had actions, buys and draw
And somehow drew his deck
My attack be came a flaw
I knew Iíd soon be wrecked
GG to you
Tangled up in blue

I saw a beggar gardens board
I thought it might be slick
To try a little variation of
A well known base set trick
So I stacked my deck as well I could
To get it all nice and fat
But I never did noticed what I should,
There were colonies and plats
And all the while my gardens grew
As they were easy to feed
I gained a lot of coppers
But I never gained the lead
Shouldíve thought this through
Tangled up in blue

He opened up a lucky 5/2
And went with foolís gold, mint
At first impression I hadnít a clue
But I started to take the hint
And later on as his deck got thin
I kinda got the gist of his game
He was surely bound to win
If I didnít start to do the same
I gathered all my hard earned cash
Fools gold covered the cost
Bought my mint but then the gold got trashed
This game was all but lost
Iím just screwed
Tangled up in blue

I was looking at junk dealer
And market squares in my hand
Looking for a game sealer,
A megaturn was planned
I got me a copper good to trash
And discarded all the squares
I couldnít resist the flood of gold
My economy was unfair
Well later on after several draws
I found myself in a bind
I got myself to 20 yes
But I only had one buy
Now this is true
Tangled up in blue

We were playing an ugly board
A long and nasty slog
Neither of us had hardly scored
It wasnít a pretty log
Horse traders was my best bet
To boost me up and get to five
The game was not decided yet
My hope was still alive
Next turn when the horses came out
They came with no support
There was no benefit of the doubt
Even when Iím going for some sort
Of duchy/duke
Tangled up in blue

So now Iím gonna get him good
Gonna hit him with mountebank
A copper and a curse there should
Make sure his ship has sank
Some might call it lucky
Some may call it cheap
Me I call it getting even
Trying to avoid the sweep
I handed him the pair of junk
And then he smiled at me
His watchtower meant my plan stunk
And he even gained 2 VP
From Tomb
Tangled up in bluuuuuuue
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