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[h1402686]

[Drab Emordnilap]

"Hey, I just bought Goons, and this is crazy

Reveal Watchtower and topdeck maybe"

fits the meter better, I think.

[Robz888]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

[werothegreat]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

There's no "maybe" to that top-deck.

[Drab Emordnilap]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

"Five Nomad Camps in hand collided so bad"

[Titandrake]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

"Five Nomad Camps in hand collided so bad"

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
FIVE NOMAD CAMPS

[Jimmmmm]

FOUR GOLDS ON DECK
THREE COPPERS IN HAND
TWO RUINS TO TRASH
AND A PRINCESS IN A PEAR TREEEEEE

[Ozle]

FIIIIIIIIVE GOLDS ON DECK
<insert 4 here>
THREE COPPERS IN HAND
TWO RUINS TO TRASH
AND A PRINCESS With A Dutccccccchy

Suggested changes.

[zahlman]

Four cost villages, three card hands?

[Jimmmmm]

FIIIIIIIIVE GOLDS ON DECK
<insert 4 here>
THREE COPPERS IN HAND
TWO RUINS TO TRASH
AND A PRINCESS With A Dutccccccchy

Suggested changes.

Wow, how do you manage to get 5 Golds on your deck? (I used Treasure Maps.)

[Ozle]

Shuffle luck

[Ozle]

Or discarded 5 tunnels with a watchtower in hand?

[ipofanes]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

"Five Nomad Camps in hand collided so bad"

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
FIVE NOMAD CAMPS

Our family has a German version on an international Christmas carols record. The German line there is "Fünf Füllhörner" (five Horns of Plenty). So for our kids, Dominon is associated with this song ever since Cornucopia came out.

[SwitchedFromStarcraft]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

"Five Nomad Camps in hand collided so bad"

Maybe your opponent plays Minion for the draw.  All is good and right with the world.

[Robz888]

"Hey, I just bought you, and this is crazy,
But you're Nomad Camp, so top-deck maybe."

There's no "maybe" to that top-deck.

Well, then you could always reveal a Trader, choosing to gain a Silver instead.

[werothegreat]

12 Cards in Alchemy
11 piles with Young Witch
10 points from Colony
9 coins for Platinum
8 is too much for Peddler
7 I'll take King's Court
6 Goons or Go-old?
FIIIIIIIIVE  RUUUUU-UUUUUU-IIINNNNNNNNNNZ
Four Golds from Treasure Map
Three ways to Steward
Two Coppers with Cache
And a Masquerade pin... FUCK YOU I QUIT

[theory]

Note to self: do not recruit on F.DS for pop song lyricists.

[Powerman]

12 Cards in Alchemy
11 piles with Young Witch
10 points from Colony
9 coins for Platinum
8 is too much for Peddler
7 I'll take King's Court
6 Goons or Go-old?
FIIIIIIIIVE  RUUUUU-UUUUUU-IIINNNNNNNNNNZ
Four Golds from Treasure Map
Three ways to Steward
Two Coppers with Cache
And a Masquerade pin... FUCK YOU I QUIT

12 Sweet I'll buy three scouts...

[aaron0013]

Deck the halls with horns of plenty Cornucopialalalala...

[GendoIkari]

Away in the menagerie, no duplicates in his hand....

[Kirian]

OK, guys.  Guys.  Guys?  Christmas was two weeks ago.  Please no more Christmas carols.

[GendoIkari]

OK, guys.  Guys.  Guys?  Christmas was two weeks ago.  Please no more Christmas carols.

But Christmas is only 350 days away!

[SwitchedFromStarcraft]

Oh God.  Did you have to remind me? I was just cruising along, basking in the done-ness of it for another year, and this comes up. Sigh.

[GendoIkari]

Oh God.  Did you have to remind me? I was just cruising along, basking in the done-ness of it for another year, and this comes up. Sigh.

Perhaps your heart is just 2 sizes too small.

[SwitchedFromStarcraft]

Thanks.

[Drab Emordnilap]

Note to self: do not recruit on F.DS for pop song lyricists.

"Cause baby you're a WOODCUTTER!
Come on, show 'em what you're worth!"

"$2?"

[Voltgloss]

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
My VP couldn't get much higher
 
Come on baby, trash my Squire
Come on baby, trash my Squire
Make some Goons out of my... Squire
 
The time to hesitate is through
The game is right down to the wire
Try now you can only lose
And your Swindler make your funeral pyre
 
Come on baby, trash my Squire
Come on baby, trash my Squire
Make some Goons out of my... Squire!!  Yeah

[Kirian]

Dominion Filk Contest!!

[jotheonah]

Note to self: do not recruit on F.DS for pop song lyricists.

"Cause baby you're a WOODCUTTER!
Come on, show 'em what you're worth!"

"$2?"

Wouldn't

"Baby you're an Ironworks!
Come on, show em what you're worth!
Make em go +1 +1 +1
As you suck up the Great Hall Hall Halls!"

work better?

[theory]

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like drawing Tunnel, with your Spy
It's a free Peddler, with just one buy
It's the Squire without Attacks in the Supply
Who would've thought... it figures

[jaybeez]

Not a parody, but still appropriate:

[ednever]

Dominion Pie


Bye bye the base set spy
Not so cool now that pools with which you can scry
Vagrant is good, $2 ain't high
With 4 bucks there's better to buy
With 4 bucks there's better to... Buy

Ed

[Powerman]

Dominion Love Story

Chancellor, take me
Somewhere we can be alone
I love you, who cares
If you're not that good

I talked to the inn,
he'll shuffle you back in

It's a woodcutter,
baby just plus... buyyyy.

[ipofanes]

Scout, Scout, leave it all out
This is a card I can do without
Come on, you never draw green, come on

[zahlman]

Golden Deck, Go-old (wah, wah, wah) (x3)
Don't need reshufflin', my hand - ain't goin' nowhere
Bishop (come trash 'em, my Bishop)
Look at that score, endgame's begun
Estates all gone and the Coppers too-o-oo...
(Come trash 'em, my Bishop)
Just one Province, trashed, and then
Just replacin' it, buy it back again...
(Golden Deck, Go-old, wah, wah, wah... come trash 'em, my Bishop)
Last turn I made it,
Trashin' my Chapel and buyin' a Prov'.
Bishop (come trash 'em, my Bishop)
Shuffle luck, no, I ain't got time
Never look back, each turn I score fi-i-ive (come trash 'em, my Bishop)
I'll keep playing Bishop now, cause, what the heck
Nothing's gonna beat me with my - Golden De-eck!

[jotheonah]

I heard that you
Played Ghost Ship
Guess the turn I planned I'll just
Have to skip

I heard that your
Saboteur just found
All my sixes and
All my fours

I hate to put all my treasure back on my deck but I didn't have a moat, couldn't block it, I hope on your next turn you won't draw your stupid ghost ship and this game. It isn't over.

Never mind I'll buy
Something for $2
I want nothing in my deck
But two-oos
 
Play your Tort'rer, I beg
Cause at least that one says
Sometimes you lose your hand
But sometimes you're cursed instead.

[ipofanes]

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

No, otherwise we'd talk about the Irony Brian meme.

[ehunt]

this only works if you pronounce it the french way and not the anglicized way...

young witch! i'm not worried bout you - i said
young witch! you don't give me the blues - there's a
way to! escape cursing attacks, but you've
GOT
TO
HAVE
the
bane card

young witch! there's no curse in the land, i said
young witch! take a look at my hand! because
next turn! i'll be drawing three cards, cause
i've got
PAWN
DUKE
GOLD
and cop-per...

and i'm revealing my
MEN-AG-ER-IE (it's fun to reveal a)
MEN-AG-ER-IE
In this game it's the bane! do i make myself plain?
it's like moat except not as lame!

it's fun to reveal a
MEN-AG-ER-IE (etc.)

[Ozle]

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

No, otherwise we'd talk about the Irony Brian meme.

Alanis Morisettes song Ironic is the most Ironic thing I can ever think of

[Kuildeous]

12 Cards in Alchemy
11 piles with Young Witch
10 points from Colony
9 coins for Platinum
8 is too much for Peddler
7 I'll take King's Court
6 Goons or Go-old?
FIIIIIIIIVE  RUUUUU-UUUUUU-IIINNNNNNNNNNZ
Four Golds from Treasure Map
Three ways to Steward
Two Coppers with Cache
And a Masquerade pin... FUCK YOU I QUIT

I have to give props just for using Dominion cards to justify the numbers.

And also, rage quit.

[buggy]

I found this on Boardgame Geek.  It is by Hipper Than Thou and I can't give any better attribution at the moment because BGG is down as I post this.

http://www.interactivitiesink.com/dominion.mp3

Edit: BGG is back up!  Here's the geeklist with all the songs: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/66405/the-voices-in-my-head-a-musical-geeklist

[jotheonah]

Ok, time for some GaGa.

I wanna trash em' like they do in Chapel decks
Draw and send my bad cards out like they're bad checks (I love it)
Soon I'll have my deck trimmed down and you'll have my Estates
And then I'll buy King's Court and Goons and I'll set you straight

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh
My cards I'll pass and your cards I'll trash
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh,
My cards I'll pass and your cards I'll trash

Can't block my
Can't block my
No you can't block my Masquerade
(Doesn't count as an attack card)

Can't block my
Can't block my
No you can't block my Masquerade
(Doesn't count as an attack card)

[mail-mi]

Curse in my deck, and you're to blame
Young witch you give lo-ove a bad name.

Four coppers is what you cost
You promise me two cards but make me discard.
Lots of curses clog my deck
I need a remodel or a re-remake

O-o-oh there's an extra card
O-o-oh I will buy the bane
Beggar can't save me
I'll buy one more Moat!

Curse in my deck, and you're to blame
Young Witch you give lo-ove a bad name.
I played my card and you showed your bane
Young Witch you give lo-ove a bad name.

[Voltgloss]

I'm pulling the Tourn'ment from Scrying with Pools
I Workshop a Garden, with Gold from my Fools
Graverob a Chancellor out of the trash
Pearl Diver drive 'er and topdeck my Stash

Sifting through the Copper with Cartographer-ese
To roll with them Swindles, Spice Merchant I seize
I Torture the Throned Feast whose Bishop decreeds
And Spies on his cohorts, atop Trusty Steeds

{AAH AAHS AND INSTRUMENTAL BREAK}

Begg' mah Rogue, mat again, Grand Markets too
Kings in the Courter, Goonsin' for you
Chapel Post, Horse Traded, Saboteur Rat
Laugh when they Loot you, say "Please don't draw that"

Controlled three-pilers can't be sought
The Isotropic starts to rot
Was it for this my Dukes I bought?
Maybe so... and maybe not

{REPEAT AND JAM TO FINISH}

[jotheonah]

And now, some Gilbert and Sullivan:

Oh, better far to run them out
When virtual money's not around
To play this foul and odious card
With a pirate head and a pirate heart

I'll play it now to trash your Gold.
And hope that this won't get too old
For I'll be true to this power trip
And live and die a Pirate Ship

For I'm spamming Pirate Ships!
(He is, he's spamming Pirate Ships)
And it is, it is, a dubious strat to spam those Pirate Ships!

For I'm spamming Pirate Ships!
(He hopes that treasure he will flip)
For it is, it is, a dangerous strat to spam those Pirate Ships!
(It is, hurrah for the Pirate Ships, Hurrah for the Piraaaaaaaate Ships.)

And when the King's Court is in play,
I play this card in an easier way
I trash a few more Coppers its true
Then a tactical player ought to do

But many a Champion on isotropic,
If he wants to brag in a forum topic
Must manage somehow to come to grips
With my mighty KC'd Pirate Ships!

(Repeat Chorus)

[Voltgloss]

And now, some Gilbert and Sullivan:

+1 is not enough, so I just found 10 of your posts elsewhere to +1 as well 

[Robz888]

"I Schemed a Scheme"

I Schemed a Scheme in turns gone by
When hope was high
And hands worth playing
I Schemed so my deck would never die!
I Schemed so shuffle luck would be forgiving

But the Curses come left and right
With their clogging worse than Looters
As they tear your deck apart
And they cause your engine to fail

I played a Scheme so my hand would be
So different from this junk I'm holding!
So different now from what I Schemed
Now Minion has killed the Scheme, I Schemed

[GendoIkari]

"I Schemed a Scheme"

I Schemed a Scheme in turns gone by
When hope was high
And hands worth playing
I Schemed so my deck would never die!
I Schemed so shuffle luck would be forgiving

But the Curses come left and right
With their clogging worse than Looters
As they tear your deck apart
And they cause your engine to fail

I played a Scheme so my hand would be
So different from this junk I'm holding!
So different now from what I Schemed
Now Minion has killed the Scheme, I Schemed

Why must I be limited to a single +1???

[GendoIkari]

We Didn't Start the Curse War

Witch, Sea Hag, Torturer;
Young Witch and Followers.
Familiar, Jester, Embargo;
Now my deck is way too slow.
Swind-ler, Mountebank;
My score is going to tank.
How now can I stand,
I draw Lookout with Curse in hand.
IGG, Ambassador, I can't take it any more!

We didn't start the Curse war.
They were always flying and our deck's been dying.
We didn't start the Curse war.
Yes we got Moated while our deck got bloated.

[Ozle]

chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel
stable stable

chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel
stable stable

chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel
stable stable

chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel chapel

Witch! A Witch, oooh its a witch!

[eHalcyon]

Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
STABLES STABLES
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Wiiiiiiitch, its a Wiiiiiiiitch
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel
Chapel Chapel Chapel Chapel

I believe that you would have STABLES STABLES after every 12 Chapels, not after 44.  At least until the Witches.  It's been a while though.

[DWetzel]

A duck walked up to a gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey... got any Guilds?"

The man said "No, we just sell Base
But it's fun and it's fresh and it's really well made
Can I get you a stack?
The duck said, "That's whack."

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
and he said to the man
running the store
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "no, like I said yesterday
We just sell Base Dominion, OK?
You want to give it a try?"
The duck said "Good bye."

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store,
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "Look, this is getting old
I mean, Base Dominion's all we've ever sold
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said, "How about no!"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "That's it, duck!
If you don't stay away I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day stuck
So don't get too close!"
The duck said "Adios!"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey, got any glue?"

"What?"

"Got any glue?"

"No, it's a gaming store, why would I -- oh."

"Then one more question for you...
Got any Guilds?"
(Bah-duh-buh, buh-DA-buh)

Then the man just stopped, and he started to smile
And he started to laugh, and he laughed for a while
And he said "Come on duck, let's go to RGG.com
I'll pre-order you Guilds, so you won't have to ask any more"

So they went to the site and the man ordered Guilds
Addressed to the duck and the duck said
"No thanks... but you know what sounds good
it would make my day
Do you think that site...
Do you think that site...
Do you think that site...
Has any Base?"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away

[GendoIkari]

...Duck...

I'm torn between +1'ing this, and hating you for posting it.

[DWetzel]

...Duck...

I'm torn between +1'ing this, and hating you for posting it.

Why not both?

[mail-mi]

A duck walked up to a gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey... got any Guilds?"

The man said "No, we just sell Base
But it's fun and it's fresh and it's really well made
Can I get you a stack?
The duck said, "That's whack."

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
and he said to the man
running the store
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "no, like I said yesterday
We just sell Base Dominion, OK?
You want to give it a try?"
The duck said "Good bye."

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store,
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "Look, this is getting old
I mean, Base Dominion's all we've ever sold
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said, "How about no!"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey, got any Guilds?"

The man said "That's it, duck!
If you don't stay away I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day stuck
So don't get too close!"
The duck said "Adios!"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Till the very next day
(Buh-duh-buh-BA-da-ba-bum)

When the duck walked up to the gaming store
And he said to the man
Running the store
"Hey, got any glue?"

"What?"

"Got any glue?"

"No, it's a gaming store, why would I -- oh."

"Then one more question for you...
Got any Guilds?"
(Bah-duh-buh, buh-DA-buh)

Then the man just stopped, and he started to smile
And he started to laugh, and he laughed for a while
And he said "Come on duck, let's go to RGG.com
I'll pre-order you Guilds, so you won't have to ask any more"

So they went to the site and the man ordered Guilds
Addressed to the duck and the duck said
"No thanks... but you know what sounds good
it would make my day
Do you think that site...
Do you think that site...
Do you think that site...
Has any Base?"

Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away
(waddle waddle waddle)
Then he waddled away

BEST ONE EVER! I wish i could +1 more than once.

[Ozle]

I believe that you would have STABLES STABLES after every 12 Chapels, not after 44.  At least until the Witches.  It's been a while though.

Yeah, I posted it first and then realised I should do it properly, although I put ti right before I saw this comment, heh

[Ozle]

Reminds me of the joke...

Duck walks into a gaming store
"Do you sell Guilds?"
"No, we Only have Base"
And the duck leaves

Next day, same Duck goes back into the store
"Do You sell Guilds?"
"No, as I said yesterday, we only have Base in stock"
and the duck leaves again

This is repeated for a week, until finally the shop owner has had enough
"Do you sell Guilds?"
"Right, for the last time, NO, and if you come in and ask again I am going to nail you to that tree outside!!"
And the Duck leaves

Next day, the Duck is back!
Duck: "Have you got any Nails?"
Shop Owner: "No, this is a board game shop!"
Duck:  "in that case....Do you sell Guilds?"

[Qvist]

Duck joke

Original (I think): http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/501489

[DWetzel]

[Ozle]

Duck joke

Original (I think): http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/501489

Theres no way thats original. That jokes been going round for many many years, I would imagine every culture has one like it

[Drab Emordnilap]

This thread is amazing and I forgot about it.

[Warfreak2]

Purple cards all in my deck
Lately, Witches made my hands a wreck
Got no money, but I don't know why
'Scuse me, while I click resign

[Schneau]

To quote an old post...

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

No, otherwise we'd talk about the Irony Brian meme.

Alanis Morisettes song Ironic is the most Ironic thing I can ever think of

[Schlippy]

(The original is "Roses are red, violets are blue, and all my base, are belong to you.")

I know it is not really a song and might fit the meme thread better. But it rhymes!

[NoMoreFun]

Sorry, but real bands are way ahead of you:

[WalrusMcFishSr]

Ist das nicht ein Mountebank?
Ja das ist ein Mountebank!
Oh du schöne Mountebank,
Oh du schöne Mountebank!

Ist das nicht ein Shanty Town?
Ja das ist ein Shanty Town!
Ist das nicht ein Hunting Grounds?
Ja das ist ein Hunting Grounds!

Shanty Town, Hunting Grounds,
Oh du schöne Mountebank,
Oh du schöne Mountebank!

Ist das nicht ein Scrying Pool?
Ja das ist ein Scrying Pool!
Ist das nicht ein Gold for Fools?
Ja das ist ein Gold for Fools!

Scrying Pool, Gold for Fools,
Shanty Town, Hunting Grounds,
Oh du schöne Mountebank,
Oh du schöne Mountebank!

Ist das nicht Dame Josephine?
Ja das ist Dame Josephine!
Ist das nicht ein card that's green?
Ja das ist ein card that's green!

Josephine, card that's green,
Scrying Pool, Gold for Fools,
Shanty Town, Hunting Grounds,
Oh du schöne Mountebank,
Oh du schöne Mountebank!

Ist das nicht ein Masquerade?
Ja das ist ein Masquerade!
Wishing Well names Ace of Spades!?
Ja it names das Ace of Spades!

Masquerade, Ace of Spades,
Josephine, card that's green,
Scrying Pool, Gold for Fools,
Shanty Town, Hunting Grounds,
Oh du schöne Mountebank,
Oh du schöne Mountebank!

[NoMoreFun]

Let me tell you how it will be
Discard for you but trash for me

I played a Taxman
Yeahhh Taxman

I gain a card what happens next?
Put that card onto my deck

I played a Taxman
Yeahhh Taxman

[eHalcyon]

I heard there was an action card
that Marin played to catch you off guard
but you don't really care for Throne Room, do you?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth, 
the cantrips draw and the Warehouse sifts!
No villages, but actions, Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

The engine's strong, but you needed proof
You thought the "Silver test" was truth
Too many times Big Money overthrew you! 
But then he plays his Market Squares
and Highways too, it can't be fair
when every Buy's a Province, Hallelujah! 

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Baby I've been there before
I skipped the Amb and I lost the war
It isn't shuffle luck that went and screwed you
I've seen you down on the leaderboard
with all the engines you ignored
Of course you called them "broken", Hallelujah?

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Now after this, I hope you know
Big Money's often far too slow. 
You don't think BM-Smithy's strongest, do you?
Remember Minions stalling you?
Conspirators were active too,
and every card he drew was hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Well maybe there's no engine here
but that won't stop the engine-eers
so please don't curse because "someone outdrew you".
It's not a skill learned overnight
I hope one day you will see the light
and build engines out of nothing, hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

[Sidsel]

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

OMG - I wish I could upvote more than once! Brilliant!

[eHalcyon]

You say that piling out is lame...
Do you even play this game?
I won by 1, now really, what's it to you?
So watch out for piles on every board
and next time don't just drain the Hoards
Then you might stand a chance, ha, hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

You tried your best, it wasn't much. 
There's no support, why did you rush? 
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you. 
But even though you played it wrong
Dominion doesn't take that long.
Why don't we play another?  Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

[markusin]

I'm too lazy to come up with a whole song, but when I play Dominion I often sing to myself:

Dah, da da da, Ah please take me to
Dah, da da da, Shanty Town!
Dah, da da da, Ah please take me to
Dah, da da da, Shanty Town!

[Asper]

Why don't i draw it with the Court?
Why don't i draw it with the Court?
Why don't i draw it with the Court?
Why don't i draw it with the Court?
Know i got a Bridge in there.
Why don't i draw it with the Court?

[Asper]

I'm gonna play my Tournament,
i don't care 'bout your hand.
I really need a prize so bad.
And if it's Diadem.

The next thing is Black Market now.
I'll buy some worthless junk.
The number now is twenty-six.
No close to being enough.

Fairgrounds rock!
Ohh - my deck is spoiled.
For you there were Ruins sold.
Fairgrounds rock!
Ohh - you're my best bet.
My Madman i can't play.
Fairgrounds rock!
Ohh - that Curse works out.
I'll even pay 5$ for Scout.

You gain 3 and i gain 4.
Fairgrounds rock!
Gonna gain 'em all!
Gonna gain 'em all!
Fairgrounds rock!

[Drab Emordnilap]

I can't help but hear scatting in my head whenever I play Taxman.

[Just a Rube]

The VP are always greener
In somebody else's deck
You dream about going engine
But that is a big mistake
No buys or source of trashing
To help the engine soar
But fine terminal drawing
What more is you lookin' for?

Choose Big Money
Choose Big Money
Darling it's bolder
Down where it's golder
Take it from me
Watch their engine choke and die
Before the Provinces they buy
While Vault is tossin'
All of the dross and
Choose Big Money

[ConMan]

I can't get no satisfaction,
I can't get no satisfaction,
But I try,
And I try,
And I try,
And I try,
I can't get no!
I can't get no!

When I'm playing a Pro Game,
And there's Young Witch in the Kingdom,
But the Bane pile is all Silver.
But it can't be the Bane 'cause I still can see,
A second pile of Silver there.

I can't get no,
No no no.
Hey hey hey!
That's what I say!

[Piemaster]

[Axxle]

If you're buying a critical mass of moats to counter witch, then yes, you might have 99 problems.

[Warfreak2]

Festival/Moat engine.

[Awaclus]

I can't help but hear scatting in my head whenever I play Taxman.

Damn you.

[GendoIkari]

Festival/Moat engine.

Playing a Festival follow by a Moat is the same as playing a Grand Market, so clearly this is a very strong strategy!

[Warfreak2]

In Base-only games vs Witch, it's not too shabby.

[RTT]

I got my first real Kings Court
bought it at the market square
played it with my mountebanks
in such a game that is not fair

me and some guys from school
played a game and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Judy got maaaad
I should´ve known we´d never get far.

Oh when I look back now
This game seemd to last forever
And if i have the skill
Oh i allways wanna win there

Those were the best turns of my life

[eHalcyon]

In Base-only games vs Witch, it's not too shabby.

It can be decent in other cases too.  I believe there is a thread somewhere about Stef or Marin (or maybe even WW) playing a Festival-Moat engine.

[WanderingWinder]

In Base-only games vs Witch, it's not too shabby.

It can be decent in other cases too.  I believe there is a thread somewhere about Stef or Marin (or maybe even WW) playing a Festival-Moat engine.

I was involved - I think I played against it. In a video? Against Marin, in the long string of games where he crushed me?

[eHalcyon]

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time

If you said "good game" to me today
There would still be Rabbles left to play
What else can I do
I'm stalling out 'cause of you
I've seen no actions for the longest time

[Asper]

We built this City
We built this City
on I-ron-works

[Warfreak2]

Fortress, always believe in your Fortress,
You're indestructible, always believing

[ragingduckd]

We built this City
We built this City
on I-ron-works

I think you're cheating.

[Warfreak2]

Well, he could be on the Highway to Hell... or the City gets built up as other piles are emptied by Ironworks.

[StrongRhino]

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna play dominion
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna play dominion
Just get me to Goko put me on a game
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go....
Just put me in a cafe, get me on the web
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna play dominion
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-o I wanna play dominion
Just put me in a armchair get me to the game
Hurry hurry hurry before I go loco
I can't control my fingers I can't control my toes
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go...
Just put me in a armchair...
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna play dominion
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna play dominion
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna play dominion

[Asper]

or the City gets built up as other piles are emptied by Ironworks.

That's what i meant.

[Asper]

Once upon a time there was a Chapel
That i used to trash a card or two
Remember how i laughed away your cursers
Think of all the shuffles i would do

Those were the games my friend
This one it never ends
My hand was green and purple all the day
No trasher i could chose
All junkers you set lose
Those were the games
Oh yes those were the games

From your side there came Familiar laughter
I bit my tounge i want to call you names
Curses are now gone, but i am wiser
Your Cultist says there's plenty left to gain

Those were the games, my friend...

[Piemaster]

In Base-only games vs Witch, it's not too shabby.

It can be decent in other cases too.  I believe there is a thread somewhere about Stef or Marin (or maybe even WW) playing a Festival-Moat engine.

Every time I post a meme it turns into a strategy discussion.  You would think I would learn by now.

http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=1204.msg29104#msg29104

[Drab Emordnilap]

This is not the greatest card in the world
This is just Tribute

[markusin]

If you go for junkers, I tell you I've a plan
You give junk, move junk, it's all the same to me
My treasures are in play, I know exactly what to pay.
I can play for speed, the only card I need is
The Jack Of All Trades
The Jack Of All Trades

Drawing up to 5 cards, trashing in the middle
Going for the gold, it's all a game to me
Spying on the top, silver gaining too
Need no fancy trick, cantrips I can skip.
The Jack Of All Trades
The Jack of All Trades

This strategy can lose, and choking is for fools
But that's the way I like it baby
I'll have time to play another

Sorry babe,
I don't want any peddlers

Buying up some more green, we're getting to turn fourteen
Read'em and weep, the 8$ hand again.
It almost makes you cry, your engine couldn't fly
The only white you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Jack Of All Trades
The Jack Of All Trades

[StrongRhino]

Paradise- "Feodum"

When she was just nine old
She expected the gold
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
Every time she closed her eyes
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

When she was just nine old
She expected the gold
But it flew away from her reach
And the silvers catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so sloggy
The saboteur breaks the weak engine
Every curse, a waterfall
In the night, the sloggy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the sloggy night
Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

She dreamed of feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La
La la la

So lying underneath those sloggy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the silver must buy to gain.

This could be feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
This could be feo-feo-feodum
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
Could be feo-feo-feodum
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be feo-feo-feodum
feo-feo-feodum
Could be feo-feo-feodum
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo
Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

[StrongRhino]

Just realized this in Blue Orchid by The White Stripes:

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Get it? Hint: it involves dogs

[werothegreat]

I thought combos were only true in Marin tales...
Meant for someone else, but not for me...
What's the use of playing...
That's the way it seemed...
Disappointment haunted all my Schemes...

THEN I TRASHED MY RATS
NOW I'M A BELIEVER
RAKING IN
VP, COINS AND CARDS
I'M IN LOVE
oooooooaaahhhhhhhhh
I'M A BELIEVER I COULDN'T LOSE NOW IF I TRIED

[GendoIkari]

Since "Three Pilin'" was mentioned in another thread; I think this thread needs to come back.

[werothegreat]

I CAME IN LIKE A PIRATE SHIP
I NEVER HIT SO HARD YOUR DECK
ALL I WANTED WAS TO TRASH YOUR CARDS
ALL YOU EVER DID WAS GIVE ME ESTATES

[mail-mi]

Can we go back? That was the moment
That night was the night we played til it's over
And we played our cards down like we're playing Big Money...
Like we were playing Big Money
Ooh can we go back? That was the moment
That night was the night we played til it's over
And we played our cards down like we're playing Big Money...
Like we're playing Big Money

[scott_pilgrim]

Lab draws cards, Workshop gains.
Warehouse sifts, and Witch attacks.
Bridge gives buys, Duke scores points, and Militia discards cards.
Smithy draws, Familiar junks, and the Lighthouse blocks attacks.
But there's one card that no one knows...
WHAT DOES THE SCOUT DO?
Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
WHAT THE SCOUT DO?
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
WHAT THE SCOUT DO?
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
WHAT THE SCOUT DO?
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
WHAT THE SCOUT DO?

[GendoIkari]

Lab draws cards, Workshop gains.
Warehouse sifts, and Witch attacks.
Bridge gives buys, Duke scores points, and Militia discards cards.
Smithy draws, Familiar junks, and the Lighthouse blocks attacks.
But there's one card that no one knows...
WHAT DOES THE SCOUT SAY?
Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
WHAT THE SCOUT SAY?
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
WHAT THE SCOUT SAY?
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
WHAT THE SCOUT SAY?
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
WHAT THE SCOUT SAY?

I think this is awesome, but would be 10x awesomer if it were "what does the Scout do?" instead of "say?"

[scott_pilgrim]

I think this is awesome, but would be 10x awesomer if it were "what does the Scout do?" instead of "say?"

I thought about that, but then I wasn't sure if it would be obvious what tune it was supposed to be sung to.  Then I ended up adding the whole "ring-ding-ding..." part which makes it obvious, but then I didn't think about changing it after that.  I'll edit it.

[mail-mi]

I used the Per'l Diver, see under my deck.
I play another one, put it into my hand.
You're trying to curse me, you're playin' your Witch.
Ya, you think I'll get some, yeah you think I'll get some....

BUT I GOT MO-OAT
Wha-oh Wha-o.... Wha-oh wha-oh... Wha-oh Wha-oh.... Wha-oh wha-o
BUT I GOT MO-OAT

[eHalcyon]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

[Kirian]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm apparently out of touch with pop culture.  What song is this supposed to be?

Damn kids, get off my lawn.

[eHalcyon]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm apparently out of touch with pop culture.  What song is this supposed to be?

Damn kids, get off my lawn.

[Kirian]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm apparently out of touch with pop culture.  What song is this supposed to be?

Damn kids, get off my lawn.

[video, let's not embed it a second time]

Apparently disco is back?

[GendoIkari]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm apparently out of touch with pop culture.  What song is this supposed to be?

Damn kids, get off my lawn.

[video, let's not embed it a second time]

Apparently disco is back?

So this is that "Get Lucky" that I've been hearing about.

[werothegreat]

You think you own the Victories you land on
The cards are just some dead things you can claim
But I know every Treasure, Curse and Action
Has a cost, has a function, has a name

You think the only players who are people
Are the players with strategies like yours
But if you shuffle the deck of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever used Possession to Ambassador a Province?
Or asked the Young Witch why she must discard?
Can you get all of the Prizes out of Tournament
Can you make an engine using only Throne Rooms
Can you make an engine using only Throne Rooms?

[Count Grishnakh]

This is dedicated to WANDERING WINDER I watched his video where a guy raged at him because Wandering Winder possessed his tactician hand and generally destroyed him..



ALL APOLOGIES

What else can I say.. all apologies.
What else can I buy? You bought possession, so did I.
I possessed your tactician deck. Please stop the disrespect.
and bought the trusty steed... Please don't curse at me!!

And when it's done, when the game has done, and I have won, and when it's done...

"good game!"
"hand shake?"
"no way!"
"don't comp-lain!"

yeah, yeah, yeah yeah..

I wish I were like you.. And had a team of goons
I got a plat by using vault
I'm sorry, its my fault
I know you didn't mess up..
It's definitely shuffle luck..

And when it's done, and when it's done,
And I have won, when it's donnnnne......

"good game!!"
"handshake?"
"no way!"
"don't comp - lain!"
yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

To end it all I bought
great halls
To three pile it all
I bought great halls
To three pile it all
I bought great halls
to three pile it all
I bought great halls...

[ehunt]

Lab draws cards, Workshop gains.
WHAT THE SCOUT DO?

What is the reference?

[Lekkit]

[nopawnsintended]

Tell me what you want, what you really really want. (Tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
Tell me what you want, what you really really want. (Tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I really really really wanna King's Court... yeah...

If you want to Torture, but not be tortured back.
If you want to be the only one who can buy a Jack.
Now go wastin' your precious buys... on Silvers, Workshops, Tunnels, buy a Black Market!

Tell me what you want, what you really really want. (Tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I really really really wanna Mountebank... yeah...

If you wanna win at Dominion, and lose all your friends.
The best way for that to happen is to buy Bla-a-ck Market!
If you wanna win at Dominion, and lose all your friends.
Take the only copy, and that's the way you wiiiii-iiin! 

What-cha Think about that?  I just King's Courted Witch.
Say you can't handle my Curses, are you for real?
You have no way.... to Curse me back.  If that's really bugs you, you can say good-bye (rage quit, yeah).

Tell me what you want, what you really really want. (Tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I really really really wanna Tournament... yeah...

If you wanna win at Dominion, and never make any friends.
Pull some power from Black Market, and win those lucky wiiii-ins.

If you wanna win at Dominion, and never make any friends.
Clog him up with curses, ensure the game never ennnnds!

So, here's the story from A to Z. 
If you want a rage quit, you've got to listen carefully.
You've got M* in your face lays their deck to waste.
You've got the one KC makes vic-tor-y easy,
Wait, victory doesn't come for free.
P2 just bought a black market, you see.

Slam your hand down, Black Markets all around.
Slam your hand down, Black Markets all around.

If you wanna win at Dominion, and never make any friends.
Pull some power from Black Market, and win those lucky wiiii-ins.  (Repeat)

ha-ha-ha-ha


Slam your hand down, Black Markets all around.
Slam your hand down, Black Markets all around. And Zig-a-Zag ahhh....

*M = Mountebank

[ipofanes]

what does the Scout do?

Like the legend of the Minstrel Vagrant
Mild cycling and some sifting
Cards from the deck we're lifting
We know our luck is shifting

We look at four and draw all victory cards
The rest we will sort, top of deck now restored

Scout's on the board 'til there's none
I'm paying 4 to buy one
Scout's on the board for good fun
I'm playing Scout to get VP

Scout gives me actions plus one
Clear hand next turn should be fun
Buy more Estates 'til I've won
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP
I'm playing Scout to get VP

I'm apparently out of touch with pop culture.  What song is this supposed to be?

Damn kids, get off my lawn.

[video, let's not embed it a second time]

Apparently disco is back?

yes.

[Warfreak2]

I ain't sayin' she a Gold digger,
But she messin' with No-ble Brigand

[loppo]

here's one for the veteran's.


This game is not a money game,
this game is rebuild, bloody rebuild

I can't believe the board today
Oh, I can't close my eyes
And make it go away
How long...
How long must we play this card
How long, how long...
'cause tactic...there can be just one
this game...

Opened silver silver turn one and two
engine pieces are a dead end street
But I don't hit five turn three and four
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall

rebuild, Bloody rebuild
rebuild, Bloody rebuild
rebuild, Bloody rebuild

And the battle's just begun
There's many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within the piles
And engines, slogs, big money games
Torn apart

rebuild, Bloody rebuild
rebuild, Bloody rebuild

How long...
How long must we play this card
How long, how long...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFM7Ty1EEvs

[achmed_sender]

Suitable to Christmas...


Province in the hand everywhere I look around
Province in the hand every turn and every round
and I don't know if I'm being lucky
don't know if I'm being skilled
but it's something that I must be hoping
and it's not there after taking my prize


Province in the hand, Province in the hand oh oh oh

...
Merry X-Mas to everyone!

[eHalcyon]

I can't figure out what Christmas song this is...

[achmed_sender]

I can't figure out what Christmas song this is...

Love is in the air

[Asper]

Venture time
C'mon grab your cash
We want your Copper
in the trash
Rake in points
and win, it's true, man
The chain will never end!
Venture time

[ConMan]

How many edge cases have to be given before they are no longer edge cases?

Depends on the board.

How many Provinces must there be left, to Upgrade King's Court from your hand?
How many trashers must be on the board, before you can ignore Expand?
Yes and how cheap must all of the engine parts be, before you will play Contraband?

The answer, my friend, depends on the kingdom.
The answer depends on the kingdom.

How many villages should your deck have, before buying terminal three?
How many turns must you build up your deck, before you should buy some VP?
Yes and how many times can we explain Potion costs, with advanced complex group theory?

The answer, my friend, depends on the kingdom.
The answer depends on the kingdom.

How many green cards must be in your deck, before you should purchase a Scout?

Never buy Scout. Never.

[Asper]

Not a Masterpiece (hurr hurr) but anyhow:


Boys and Girls of varying skill
wouldn't you like to play something chill?
Play with us and you will see
this our strategy Village-Smithy.
Village-Smithy! Village-Smithy!
Play then draw till your deck has gone.
Village-Smithy! Everything else is shitty
(except Torturer cause Curses multiply the fun!)
+2 A!
+3 C!
In our strategy Village-Smithy.


Song: This is Halloween

[Just a Rube]

Well the Seaside of Dominion
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a card name of Pirate Ship

Now Pirate more than trouble
You see he cost exactly four
All those downtown ladies call him "Treasure Lover"
All the men just call him "Sir"

Chorus:
And he's bad, bad Pirate Ship
The baddest card in the whole damn strip
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog

Now Pirate he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to trash them treasure cards
Under everybody's nose

He got a Philosopher's Stone
He got Ill-Gotten Gains too
He got a Platinum in his pocket full a fun
He got a Silver in his shoe

Chorus

Well Friday 'bout a week ago
Pirate makin' trash
And at the top of the deck
Sat a card named Copper
And oh that card looked flash

Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon begat
And Pirate Ship had learned a lesson
'Bout a-trashing with the junk of an engine deck

Chorus

Well the two decks took to fighting
And when they pulled them from the floor
Pirate looked like a jigsaw puzzle
With a couple of pieces gone

And it's bad, bad Pirate Ship
The baddest card in the whole damn strip
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog

[Elanchana]

Because you know I only got dat base...

[enfynet]

Because you know I only got dat base...

I hope you have a hard copy of this to show your children some day.

[Asper]

I got a card that costed 4,
but when i play it, then what for?
I really feel that you should know,
that for the Scout you shouldn't go.

Does it trash cards? It never trashs cards.
Does it gain cards? No it never gains cards.
Does it draw cards? It NEVER draws cards.

It does nothing, the Scout does nothing!

[pubby]

How about Dominion albums?

[Seprix]

Come gather 'round players
Wherever you game
Now look, Iso's gone
Things just ain't the same
Now Goko has rights
They boldly proclaim
But now Making Fun has the reigns
It had better not be shoddy
Like Goko was
Or the devs, they'll soon be changin'.

[werothegreat]

Twinkle, twinkle little Rats
Look at you, so cute and fat!
What the fuck do you guys do?
Honestly I've not a clue
Twinkle, twinkle little Rats
You'd look dapper wearing spats

[jsh357]

[silvern]

From "Modern Major General" by Gilbert and Sullivan

Let's see the board today, oh my
It's looking like a awesome game
There's young witch as the curser
And we've got some squires as the bane

An engine looks quite winning
With some upgrades and some monuments
And King's Court seals the deal
And only adds to my excitement.

But look here, we have pools galore
To scry and scry and draw a bit
My deck is gonna soar
(Although each turn will take a hundred clicks.)

We open Upgrade/Squire
And trash into a nice scrying pool
Opponent goes big money
Quite unknowing that he will get screwed

I thin some more and trash estates
So that my deck's in tip-top shape
I dish out lots of curses
There's no way now that he can escape
(He thins some more, trashing estates
So that his deck's in tip-top shape
He dishes out the curses
There's no way that that dude can escape)

Opponent's got three provinces
But I still have the upper hand
I'm playing 20 actions each turn
All part of my expert plan

My monuments are churning
Dishing out piles of victr'y chips
(Opponent's AFK, he said
"I'll be back in five minutes")

No problem for me of course
For I have some tactics choices now
Do I play this pool first, then upgrade
Or the other way around?

In any case I'm winning
(well worth all the time I've wasted now)
The only thing left to do is
To find a way to pile out

So here we go, a well-won game
I'm gonna end it, so hurray!
Let's buy out all the estates
and I'll--
*goko crashes*

[Elanchana]

Cul, tist, junk you up. Cultist junk you up. 


I have no idea what would happen to the rest of the song but that was kinda stuck in my head last night.

[silvern]

You've got to buy some cards, love
You've got to buy some cards, for me
And trashing is just fine, cuz
I have possessed your hand

(From Death Cab for Cutie's "I have possessed your heart")

[ConMan]

Cul, tist, junk you up. Cultist junk you up. 


I have no idea what would happen to the rest of the song but that was kinda stuck in my head last night.

Uptown Funk, I presume.

[Asper]

Some from the Beatles:
Jesterday
Can't buy me Grand Market
Penny Loan
Masqerade Peppers lonely card swap band
Greening for the benefit of Mister Scout
The long and winding slog
Helter Shelter

[eHalcyon]

And now for another Page out of the song book...

Where have all the Warriors gone
And where is all the Gold?
Where's that lady Traveller now
Her story still untold?
Isn't there a Madame Knight upon a Trusty Steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a Hero
I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the shuffle is right
She's gotta be strong
Well she's not very fast
But she'll gain me some Platinum might
I need a Hero
I'm holding out for a Hero in this Big Money fight
I'm totally sure
That I'm drawing her soon
And the gain will be larger than life

...

And she's travelling on and on and on and on

This is the Champion, my friends
And she'll keep on fighting 'til the end
She is the Champion!
She is the Champion!
No time for losers
'Cause she is the Champion of the world

[ConMan]

And now for another Page out of the song book...

Where have all the Warriors gone

And just for that ...

Where have all the Pages gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Pages gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Pages gone?
Treasure Hunters, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the 'Hunters gone?
Gone to Warriors, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Warriors gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Warriors gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Warriors gone?
Gone to Heros, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Heroes gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Heroes gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Heroes gone?
Gone to Champions, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

[jsh357]

Man I've been waiting forever for this one.

[NoMoreFun]

Some from the Beatles:
Jesterday
Can't buy me Grand Market
Penny Loan
Masqerade Peppers lonely card swap band
Greening for the benefit of Mister Scout
The long and winding slog
Helter Shelter

Taxman

[eHalcyon]

It's the third turn on a loaded board
The opening buys shuffled in
There are so many 3/4 components
Making plans 'cause I'm playing to win

I say, "Son I don't usually use this one
I'm not really sure how it goes
Though it tends to be weak
This time it competes
Let's see if my strategy holds..."

La la la di da da
La la di da da da dum

Gain me a card, you're the Talisman!
Gain me a card tonight!
Well I'm sure in the mood for efficiency
And for once you might do alright

Now down at the Tavern I've set it up
Duplicates ready to call
'Cause I won some key splits, P1's ready to quit
Two Highways and I'll win it all

I say, "terminal draw's not available"
As a smile appeared on my face
"But the next turn is gonna be beautiful,
We're nearing the end of this race..."

Oh la la la di da da
La la di da da da dum

Draw me some cards, all you Caravans!
Draw me more cards tonight!
Well I'm sure in the mood for a mega-turn
And with this hand I might do alright

[Asper]

So this thread is active again? Then this one's for Roadrunner:

This is the game.
Hold your breath, you know it's lame.
Feel the urge to buy it, when
you know it's a mistake.

But this is the game.
Mystic and Inheritance,
Apothecary and Harem...
Will it really be the same?

Will the Scout fail?
Will it not pay?
Will it be bale?
Or was RR
right and won't the Scout Fail?
Won't it be frail?
Won't it make you wail?
You've seen it all -- but always did Scout fail.

Will Scout fail?

"Scout fails" is where he starts.
A thousand games he says he saw
where all came down to just that card
he may have examples
but he ain't my faith.
Cause i'll never think it's not

one big Scout fail.
It will be in vain.
Though it tastes stale
i tell you all:
It's always one big Scout fail.
It will be the same.
There's not one trail
of power in this card.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.


In case it's not obvious:    Skyfall   

[Roadrunner7671]

So this thread is active again? Then this one's for Roadrunner:

This is the game.
Hold your breath, you know it's lame.
Feel the urge to buy it, when
you know it's a mistake.

But this is the game.
Mystic and Inheritance,
Apothecary and Harem...
Will it really be the same?

Will the Scout fail?
Will it not pay?
Will it be bale?
Or was RR
right and won't the Scout Fail?
Won't it be frail?
Won't it make you wail?
You've seen it all -- but always did Scout fail.

Will Scout fail?

"Scout fails" is where he starts.
A thousand games he says he saw
where all came down to just that card
he may have examples
but he ain't my faith.
Cause i'll never think it's not

one big Scout fail.
It will be in vain.
Though it tastes stale
i tell you all:
It's always one big Scout fail.
It will be the same.
There's not one trail
of power in this card.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.
Just Scout fail.


In case it's not obvious:    Skyfall   

I see. I think I know exactly what you need: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=14803.msg570501#msg570501

[benedettosoxfan]

I hate to be that guy who bumps an old thread and I know someone's already done a Piano Man parody, but this came to me in a dream last night and I couldn't not share it. It's a little ode to guilds:

It’s 9 turns into a dominion game
The rest of my deck shuffled in
There’s a journeyman looking back at me
And I know that he’ll help me to win

He says son came you name me a victory?
I’m not really sure where it’s at
But I know that you’d hate to draw that useless estate
So I’ll skip it and that’ll be that

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Name us a card you’re the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well we’re trying to set up menagerie,
And you’ll make our hand look alright

Now butcher from guilds is a friend of mine
He gains me more cards for free
And he’s great in a slog and a good engine cog
If you try it I’m sure you’ll agree

The advisor he reveals a trilogy
My opponent, he hatches a plan
Now I’m sure that I should have played cartographer
Cause I’ve picked up 2 green cards in hand

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now doctor’s an early game trasher
Who’s better when you overpay
And he’s talking with baker and candlestick maker
Who generate tokens for days

And the herald is setting up action chains
As the merchant guild gives me more buys
Yes they’re building a deck based on synergy
It’s the greatest plan ever devised.

Name us a card you’re the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well we’re trying to set up menagerie,
And you’ll make our hand look alright

It’s a pretty good hand for a megaturn
And the stonemason gives me a smile
Cause it’s gold that he sees, which can trash to duchies
And can soon end the game on 3 piles

And the masterpiece gains me a silver flood
As the soothsayer deals out a curse
And I want to play taxman but I’m all out of actions
Guess I should have played my plaza first

Name us a card you’re the journeyman
Name us a card tonight
Well we’re trying to set up menagerie,
And you’ll make our hand look alright

[Cave-o-sapien]

I hate to be that guy who bumps an old thread and I know someone's already done a Piano Man parody, but this came to me in a dream last night and I couldn't not share it. It's a little ode to guilds:

It’s 9 turns into a dominion game
The rest of my deck shuffled in
There’s a journeyman looking back at me
And I know that he’ll help me to win

This is very well done. Quite often people blow the meter on these things, but you've nailed it.

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.

[ConMan]

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.

Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?

[Cave-o-sapien]

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.

Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?

Ha! I had the same thought re: Tangled up in Blue, but the song is so damn sprawling it was too intimidating.

Visions of Dame Anna?

[benedettosoxfan]

Makes me want to do a long Bob Dylan song, but I've got to find the right one.

Hmmm. "Tangled Up in Blue", about buying too many Reaction cards with nothing to react to? "The Times They Are A'Changin'" about Second Edition cards? "Hurricane" about I'm not sure what, but I'd really love to hear it?

Ha! I had the same thought re: Tangled up in Blue, but the song is so damn sprawling it was too intimidating.

Visions of Dame Anna?

Challenge accepted. The thing about Bob Dylan is his style kind of wanders so much that you don't have to really adhere to a super strict syllable count and you can kind of tweak the delivery to make it flow however you want to fit the meter so it's not quite as hard as it seems at first.
Having said that, here's Tangled Up In Blue: A comedy of errors starring your favorite reaction cards.

Early one game I played a witch
He revealed me a moat
Left me looking like a fool
Left him happy to gloat
They said those attacking fives
Would sure make things insane
They never did tell me that little guy
Was a universal bane
I was hoping for some silver and gold
As two cards came my way
But I got colliding terminals
I could not even play
What I just drew
Tangled up in blue

He had 5 cards ready to go
I thought that needed to change
Played my militia but then lo
He started to do something strange
Picked up a pair to give him more
And then discarded down
That diplomat had something in store
Acts like a shanty town
He had actions, buys and draw
And somehow drew his deck
My attack be came a flaw
I knew I’d soon be wrecked
GG to you
Tangled up in blue

I saw a beggar gardens board
I thought it might be slick
To try a little variation of
A well known base set trick
So I stacked my deck as well I could
To get it all nice and fat
But I never did noticed what I should,
There were colonies and plats
And all the while my gardens grew
As they were easy to feed
I gained a lot of coppers
But I never gained the lead
Should’ve thought this through
Tangled up in blue

He opened up a lucky 5/2
And went with fool’s gold, mint
At first impression I hadn’t a clue
But I started to take the hint
And later on as his deck got thin
I kinda got the gist of his game
He was surely bound to win
If I didn’t start to do the same
I gathered all my hard earned cash
Fools gold covered the cost
Bought my mint but then the gold got trashed
This game was all but lost
I’m just screwed
Tangled up in blue

I was looking at junk dealer
And market squares in my hand
Looking for a game sealer,
A megaturn was planned
I got me a copper good to trash
And discarded all the squares
I couldn’t resist the flood of gold
My economy was unfair
Well later on after several draws
I found myself in a bind
I got myself to 20 yes
But I only had one buy
Now this is true
Tangled up in blue

We were playing an ugly board
A long and nasty slog
Neither of us had hardly scored
It wasn’t a pretty log
Horse traders was my best bet
To boost me up and get to five
The game was not decided yet
My hope was still alive
Next turn when the horses came out
They came with no support
There was no benefit of the doubt
Even when I’m going for some sort
Of duchy/duke
Tangled up in blue

So now I’m gonna get him good
Gonna hit him with mountebank
A copper and a curse there should
Make sure his ship has sank
Some might call it lucky
Some may call it cheap
Me I call it getting even
Trying to avoid the sweep
I handed him the pair of junk
And then he smiled at me
His watchtower meant my plan stunk
And he even gained 2 VP
From Tomb
Tangled up in bluuuuuuue

[Cave-o-sapien]

Challenge accepted. The thing about Bob Dylan is his style kind of wanders so much that you don't have to really adhere to a super strict syllable count and you can kind of tweak the delivery to make it flow however you want to fit the meter so it's not quite as hard as it seems at first.
Having said that, here's Tangled Up In Blue: A comedy of errors starring your favorite reaction cards.

This is fantastic. I'm speechless.

[benedettosoxfan]

Challenge accepted. The thing about Bob Dylan is his style kind of wanders so much that you don't have to really adhere to a super strict syllable count and you can kind of tweak the delivery to make it flow however you want to fit the meter so it's not quite as hard as it seems at first.
Having said that, here's Tangled Up In Blue: A comedy of errors starring your favorite reaction cards.

This is fantastic. I'm speechless.

Thank you! I'm happy to entertain and song parodies have always been a hobby of mine. The sky's the limit as far as implementing dominion concepts into classic songs goes.

[Robz888]

I just randomly revisited this, and it's been like four years, so I thought it could use an update. Here's the full song:


"I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserable


There was a time when players were kind
When their decks were slow
And their economies underproducing
There was a time when the game was simple
And action chains weren't long
And the coin wasn't virtual
There was a time

Then he added more expansions

I Schemed a Scheme in turns gone by
When hope was high
And hands worth playing
I Schemed so my deck would never die!
I Schemed so shuffle luck would be forgiving

Then I was young and low in rankings
And alt-VP sat unused and wasted
There was no GG to be said
No combo untried, no Wine Merchant discarded

But the Curses come left and right
With their clogging worse than Looters
As they tear your deck apart
And they cause your engine to fail

He played the end-game by my side
He filled my logs with endless chatter
He took my undo in his stride
But he tripled Goons-ed me when the three-pile came

And still I dream he'll auto-match with me
That we will play a game together
But there are livestreams that cannot be
And there are rage quits we cannot weather

I played a Scheme so my hand would be
So different from this junk I'm holding!
So different now from what I Schemed
Now Minion has killed the Scheme
I Schemed

[assemble_me]

Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Taxman, Taxman, Taxman
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Taxman!




(couldn't resist)

[Erick648]

"We are the Pirate Ships
who don't do anything.
We just sit here
and clog your deck
and if you play us
to do anything,
we'll just show you..."
"we don't do anything!

"Well I've never trashed a Silver,
and I've never trashed a Gold card,
and I can't trash kingdom treasures 'cause this board has none of that.
And I've never trashed a Platinum,
and I've never trashed a Potion,
and the thin Action-based engine stomped me flat."

"We are the Pirate Ships
who don't do anything.
We just sit here
and clog your deck
and if you play us
to do anything,
we'll just show you..."
"we don't do anything!

"And I never pay for Minion,
and I never pay for King's Court,
and I never pay for Province 'cause there's no coins on my mat.
And I've never paid for Highway,
and I've never paid for Chapel,
and the thin Action-based engine stomped me flat."

"We are the Pirate Ships
who don't do anything.
We just sit here
and clog your deck
and if you play us
to do anything,
we'll just show you..."
"we don't do anything!

"Well, I've never topdecked Tunnel,
and I can't react to Swindler,
and I've never moved my Ferry token onto Bureaucrat.
And I've never Princed a Swamp Hag,
and I've never been Embargoed,
and the thin Action-based engine stomped me flat."

"Huh? What are you talkin' about? What's a Tunnel and Ferry tokens have to do with playing a Pirate Ship?"
"Hey, that's right. We're supposed to sing about Pirate Ship things."
"Oh."
"And who's ever Princed a Swamp Hag? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
"I think you look like the Black Pearl."
"Huh? No I don't."
"Do too."
"Do not!"
"You've made your point, savvy?"
"That's it. You're walking the plank."
"Says who?"
"Says the Cap'n! That's who!"
"Oh yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Sparrow! Hee hee hee hee!"
"Aaaargh!"
"Yikes!"

"And I've never gained a Beggar,
and I've never drawn a Ranger,
and I've never placed a Duchess on an empty Island mat.
And I've never triggered Merchant,
and I don't exchange for Venture..."
"You just don't get it."
"...and the thin Action-based engine stomped us flat!"

[JacquesTheBard]

I just randomly revisited this, and it's been like four years, so I thought it could use an update. Here's the full song:


"I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserable


There was a time when players were kind
When their decks were slow
And their economies underproducing
There was a time when the game was simple
And action chains weren't long
And the coin wasn't virtual
There was a time

Then he added more expansions

I Schemed a Scheme in turns gone by
When hope was high
And hands worth playing
I Schemed so my deck would never die!
I Schemed so shuffle luck would be forgiving

Then I was young and low in rankings
And alt-VP sat unused and wasted
There was no GG to be said
No combo untried, no Wine Merchant discarded

But the Curses come left and right
With their clogging worse than Looters
As they tear your deck apart
And they cause your engine to fail

He played the end-game by my side
He filled my logs with endless chatter
He took my undo in his stride
But he tripled Goons-ed me when the three-pile came

And still I dream he'll auto-match with me
That we will play a game together
But there are livestreams that cannot be
And there are rage quits we cannot weather

I played a Scheme so my hand would be
So different from this junk I'm holding!
So different now from what I Schemed
Now Minion has killed the Scheme
I Schemed

Robz, your original "I Dreamed A Dream" post was the greatest dominion song parody of all time, and this is a worthy followup. You are a muse.

[Seprix]

As we Watch through the Night
As we played Graverobber right
And before Turn 1
I held Cartographer
She wouldn't Nec with her Mancer
Oooo, I Pawn and purchased Fair

[Marcory]

(Sung by a Cantrip)

My squire arrived just the other day
He came to my deck in the usual way
But there were golds to gain, and Chapels to play
He added a coin while I was away
And he was giving Actions 'fore I knew it, and in clean-up,
He said, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad, you know I'm gonna be like you."

And the Action and the Buy and the Clean-Up Phase
Sometimes a Night and an Outpost play
"When you gonna draw me, Dad," "I don't know when
But we'll gain some Silvers then,
You know we'll gain some Silvers then."

My squire added Buys just the other day
He said "Thanks for the gains Dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to draw?" I said "Not today,
I've got a lot to do" he said "That's okay"
And he got discarded, and got shuffled too,
But said "I'm gonna be like you, Dad,
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the Action and the Buy and the Clean-Up Phase
Sometimes a Night and an Outpost play
"When you gonna draw me, Dad," "I don't know when
But we'll gain some Silvers then,
You know we'll gain some Silvers then."

He got Remodeled just the other day
So much a Wandering Minstrel I just had to say,
"Squire, I'm proud of you, can add to my coins?"
He shook his head, and so gently rejoined,
"What I'd really like, is to discard some estates
Can I do it fast before it's too late?"

And the Action and the Buy and the Clean-Up Phase
Sometimes a Night and an Outpost play
"When you gonna draw me, Dad," "I don't know when
But we'll gain some Silvers then,
You know we'll gain some Silvers then."

I've started greening and my Squire got Remade
I checked to see what his loss had gained.
I said, "I'd like a silver, if you don't mind"
He said "I'd love to Dad, but I'm a Scrying Pool"
You I don't like Treasures and I'm non-terminal
But it's sure nice Spying for you, Dad.
It's sure nice Spying for you.

As he went into play it occurred to me
My Squire, was just like me.

And the Action and the Buy and the Clean-Up Phase
Sometimes a Night and an Outpost play
"When you gonna draw me, Dad," "I don't know when
But we'll gain some Silvers then,
You know we'll gain some Silvers then."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUwjNBjqR-c

[Sharur]

I guess I should post mine here, too.

Note that I only came up with lyrics for the last one. The video descriptions give credit to all the relevant parties.