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Author Topic: A joke thread  (Read 91519 times)

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silverspawn

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #600 on: February 26, 2016, 08:26:32 am »
0

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silverspawn

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #601 on: February 26, 2016, 08:27:31 am »
+1

granted, it's a long thread.
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Axxle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #602 on: February 26, 2016, 12:42:35 pm »
0

I definitely did a search for it, but picture formatting :(
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #603 on: March 13, 2016, 10:54:27 pm »
+2

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scott_pilgrim

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #604 on: January 31, 2018, 09:43:24 pm »
+5

I just came up with this one in the shower:

What is the pink panther's favorite type of quark?

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm
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ipofanes

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #605 on: February 01, 2018, 02:58:38 am »
+2

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #606 on: February 01, 2018, 06:30:55 am »
+6

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.

There are a bunch of different types of quarks, one of the types is bottom quark. Meanwhile, there's a movie/TV show franchise called The Pink Panther, whose musical theme song features a repeated rhythmic pattern with two fairly short notes followed by a rest, ending with a fairly long note, which could be written out as "ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm". Because "ba-dum" sounds like "bottom", this is why the bottom quark is the pink panther's favorite type of quark.
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ipofanes

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #607 on: February 01, 2018, 06:40:57 am »
+1

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.
Because "ba-dum" sounds like "bottom"

That was the bit I missed. Seems I am not exposed enough to American pronounciation of English.

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scott_pilgrim

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #608 on: July 25, 2020, 12:34:39 pm »
+11

Billy, Frank, Tim, and Joe are best friends, and have been playing bridge together every Thursday night for the past 28 years, without missing a week. Suddenly Joe dies of a heart attack. The three friends, devastated, travel back to Wisconsin to attend his funeral. Joe's mother, a sweet, elderly woman, insists that the three of them, if comfortable, stay with her, rather than spending money for a hotel.

When the three friends arrive, Joe's mother is very happy to greet them. They talk for a bit, and eventually Tim asks her if she has any hobbies. She is very excited to tell them about her love of flying drones, and the three friends, intrigued by this hobby, ask if she can show them one. "One?" she asks. "I can show you my whole collection!"

The old lady very excitedly leads them downstairs into a basement, where sure enough, the whole room, wall to wall, is filled with various types of drones. As she is rambling on and on about her obsession, Frank notices a bird very calmly perched in a corner of the room. "Would you like us to help you shoo this bird out of the house?" he asked.

"Oh no, please don't!" she responded. "That's my pet, Belle."

"Oh," replied Frank, somewhat embarrassed. "I assumed she didn't belong here, because there's no cage or anything. She seems very well trained! What kind of bird is she?"

"She's a common tern," the woman replied. "But she's common in name only. You see, this is no ordinary tern, she can talk!"

The three friends, skeptical but excited, approached the bird. "Hi Belle, I'm Tim," said Tim.

"Hi Tim, I'm Belle," she replied. "I'm very sorry for your loss," she added.

The three friends couldn't believe it! Amazed, they continued asking it questions, while Joe's mother received a phone call and slipped out of the room for privacy. As they continued chatting with the bird, the conversation turned to bridge. "You know," said the bird, "I've never played before, but I know it was very important to the three of you, and to Joe, and I'd be interested to learn. I know I could never replace Joe, but if you ever need a fourth player, I'd be happy to play. There's a card table over there in the corner," she said, flying to the other side of the room.

The three friends, marveling at the thought of playing bridge with a talking bird, pulled out the table, sat down and began teaching the bird the rules and some basic strategy tips. She seemed to grasp everything quickly, and she fit right in with the three of them. Since Frank and Tim were always partners, they decided that Belle should be Billy's partner. She was certainly no expert, but the three were impressed by how quickly she learned.

But a few minutes into it, Billy started talking about politics. The friends have always had their disagreements, but Billy, a big supporter of Donald Trump, did not want to be partners with someone who couldn't see eye-to-eye with him. So he began questioning the bird's political views, asking her if she supported Trump, etc. Belle clearly felt uncomfortable, like she was being singled out by this, and pressured to say things she didn't agree with.

Eventually, Billy offered an ultimatum, saying, "You know, I can't force you to change your beliefs, but I'd just feel a little bit better if you would wear this 'Make America Great Again' hat, if we're gonna be partners, so I can really feel like we're on the same side."

The bird put the cap on, but was clearly very uncomfortable.

"Should we do something about this?" Frank asked Tim.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Tim replied. "He's just trying to set up a drone room bridge MAGA tern."
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #609 on: July 25, 2020, 12:43:07 pm »
+1

this is more than amazing.
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #610 on: July 26, 2020, 08:23:47 pm »
+1

UuuUugghhhh...
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