Dominion Strategy Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Pages: 1 ... 23 24 [25]  All

Author Topic: A joke thread  (Read 181807 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

silverspawn

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5300
  • Shuffle iT Username: sty.silver
  • Respect: +3188
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #600 on: February 26, 2016, 08:26:32 am »
0

silverspawn

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5300
  • Shuffle iT Username: sty.silver
  • Respect: +3188
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #601 on: February 26, 2016, 08:27:31 am »
+1

granted, it's a long thread.

Axxle

  • Torturer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1664
  • Most Valuable Serial Killer
  • Respect: +1965
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #602 on: February 26, 2016, 12:42:35 pm »
0

I definitely did a search for it, but picture formatting :(
Logged
We might be from all over the world, but "we all talk this one language  : +1 card + 1 action +1 buy , gain , discard, trash... " - RTT

Darth Vader

  • Young Witch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 131
  • You don't know the power of the draw card
  • Respect: +314
    • View Profile
    • Best Site Ever
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #603 on: March 13, 2016, 10:54:27 pm »
+2

What do you call a potato that falls to the dark side?

Vader tots

What happens when you create a technological terror and are about to use it?

                Moat.                 
Logged

scott_pilgrim

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1102
  • Respect: +2144
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #604 on: January 31, 2018, 09:43:24 pm »
+5

I just came up with this one in the shower:

What is the pink panther's favorite type of quark?

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm
Logged

ipofanes

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1439
  • Shuffle iT Username: ipofanes
  • Respect: +776
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #605 on: February 01, 2018, 02:58:38 am »
+2

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.
Logged
Lord Rattington denies my undo requests

Awaclus

  • Adventurer
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11808
  • Shuffle iT Username: Awaclus
  • (´。• ω •。`)
  • Respect: +12846
    • View Profile
    • Birds of Necama
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #606 on: February 01, 2018, 06:30:55 am »
+6

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.

There are a bunch of different types of quarks, one of the types is bottom quark. Meanwhile, there's a movie/TV show franchise called The Pink Panther, whose musical theme song features a repeated rhythmic pattern with two fairly short notes followed by a rest, ending with a fairly long note, which could be written out as "ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm". Because "ba-dum" sounds like "bottom", this is why the bottom quark is the pink panther's favorite type of quark.
Logged
Bomb, Cannon, and many of the Gunpowder cards can strongly effect gameplay, particularly in a destructive way

The YouTube channel where I make musicDownload my band's Creative Commons albums for free

ipofanes

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1439
  • Shuffle iT Username: ipofanes
  • Respect: +776
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #607 on: February 01, 2018, 06:40:57 am »
+1

I am not sure if this joke get's funnier when explained, but I'd be grateful if somebody would try and find out.
Because "ba-dum" sounds like "bottom"

That was the bit I missed. Seems I am not exposed enough to American pronounciation of English.

Logged
Lord Rattington denies my undo requests

scott_pilgrim

  • Saboteur
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1102
  • Respect: +2144
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #608 on: July 25, 2020, 12:34:39 pm »
+16

Billy, Frank, Tim, and Joe are best friends, and have been playing bridge together every Thursday night for the past 28 years, without missing a week. Suddenly Joe dies of a heart attack. The three friends, devastated, travel back to Wisconsin to attend his funeral. Joe's mother, a sweet, elderly woman, insists that the three of them, if comfortable, stay with her, rather than spending money for a hotel.

When the three friends arrive, Joe's mother is very happy to greet them. They talk for a bit, and eventually Tim asks her if she has any hobbies. She is very excited to tell them about her love of flying drones, and the three friends, intrigued by this hobby, ask if she can show them one. "One?" she asks. "I can show you my whole collection!"

The old lady very excitedly leads them downstairs into a basement, where sure enough, the whole room, wall to wall, is filled with various types of drones. As she is rambling on and on about her obsession, Frank notices a bird very calmly perched in a corner of the room. "Would you like us to help you shoo this bird out of the house?" he asked.

"Oh no, please don't!" she responded. "That's my pet, Belle."

"Oh," replied Frank, somewhat embarrassed. "I assumed she didn't belong here, because there's no cage or anything. She seems very well trained! What kind of bird is she?"

"She's a common tern," the woman replied. "But she's common in name only. You see, this is no ordinary tern, she can talk!"

The three friends, skeptical but excited, approached the bird. "Hi Belle, I'm Tim," said Tim.

"Hi Tim, I'm Belle," she replied. "I'm very sorry for your loss," she added.

The three friends couldn't believe it! Amazed, they continued asking it questions, while Joe's mother received a phone call and slipped out of the room for privacy. As they continued chatting with the bird, the conversation turned to bridge. "You know," said the bird, "I've never played before, but I know it was very important to the three of you, and to Joe, and I'd be interested to learn. I know I could never replace Joe, but if you ever need a fourth player, I'd be happy to play. There's a card table over there in the corner," she said, flying to the other side of the room.

The three friends, marveling at the thought of playing bridge with a talking bird, pulled out the table, sat down and began teaching the bird the rules and some basic strategy tips. She seemed to grasp everything quickly, and she fit right in with the three of them. Since Frank and Tim were always partners, they decided that Belle should be Billy's partner. She was certainly no expert, but the three were impressed by how quickly she learned.

But a few minutes into it, Billy started talking about politics. The friends have always had their disagreements, but Billy, a big supporter of Donald Trump, did not want to be partners with someone who couldn't see eye-to-eye with him. So he began questioning the bird's political views, asking her if she supported Trump, etc. Belle clearly felt uncomfortable, like she was being singled out by this, and pressured to say things she didn't agree with.

Eventually, Billy offered an ultimatum, saying, "You know, I can't force you to change your beliefs, but I'd just feel a little bit better if you would wear this 'Make America Great Again' hat, if we're gonna be partners, so I can really feel like we're on the same side."

The bird put the cap on, but was clearly very uncomfortable.

"Should we do something about this?" Frank asked Tim.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Tim replied. "He's just trying to set up a drone room bridge MAGA tern."
Logged

LaLight

  • Jester
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 774
  • Shuffle iT Username: LaLight
  • Because I'm a potato
  • Respect: +971
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #609 on: July 25, 2020, 12:43:07 pm »
+1

this is more than amazing.
Logged
Wins: 15, 10
Losses: 11, 5, 1
Draws: 1
MVPs: 4
Mod/Co-mod: 18

I always have a limited access to forum on weekends.

pacovf

  • Cartographer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3499
  • Multiediting poster
  • Respect: +3838
    • View Profile
Re: A joke thread
« Reply #610 on: July 26, 2020, 08:23:47 pm »
+1

UuuUugghhhh...
Logged
pacovf has a neopets account.  It has 999 hours logged.  All his neopets are named "Jessica".  I guess that must be his ex.
Pages: 1 ... 23 24 [25]  All
 

Page created in 0.047 seconds with 21 queries.