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Author Topic: A joke thread  (Read 181828 times)

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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #250 on: January 26, 2014, 07:30:14 pm »
0

I don't understand this thread.

Could someone explain it to me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_stress

or possibly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_mapping

Bolded for influence. I'm a mathematician, I better get the Shear joke...

It was too subtle of a joke!
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #251 on: January 27, 2014, 08:40:06 am »
+1

I don't understand this thread.

Could someone explain it to me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_stress

or possibly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_mapping

Bolded for influence. I'm a mathematician, I better get the Shear joke...


*assumed everyone was deliberately misinterpreting Tables so he would have to explain*
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #252 on: January 27, 2014, 08:47:41 am »
+6

Hate on Hitler all you want, but at least he killed Hitler.

(not mine though I wish it was)
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Kirian

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #253 on: January 27, 2014, 09:09:11 am »
+6

Hate on Hitler all you want, but at least he killed Hitler.

(not mine though I wish it was)


Sure, but he also killed the guy who killed Hitler.  So still a bit of a jerk.

(Also not mine)
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GendoIkari

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #254 on: January 27, 2014, 09:53:16 am »
+2

I don't understand this thread.

Could someone explain it to me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_stress

or possibly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_mapping

Bolded for influence. I'm a mathematician, I better get the Shear joke...


*assumed everyone was deliberately misinterpreting Tables so he would have to explain*

You see, there is a reoccurring joke on this message board that explaining jokes makes them funnier. This meme is often presented in the format of "Can someone please explain this joke to me?" In this case, Tables has applied this meme to this entire thread, because the thread is titled "A joke thread", and it contains a large number of jokes.
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #255 on: January 27, 2014, 12:19:14 pm »
+1

I don't understand this thread.

Could someone explain it to me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_stress

or possibly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_mapping

Bolded for influence. I'm a mathematician, I better get the Shear joke...


*assumed everyone was deliberately misinterpreting Tables so he would have to explain*

You see, there is a reoccurring joke on this message board that explaining jokes makes them funnier. This meme is often presented in the format of "Can someone please explain this joke to me?" In this case, Tables has applied this meme to this entire thread, because the thread is titled "A joke thread", and it contains a large number of jokes.

Yes, thats what my joke was referring too, and the fact that some people had obviously missed that reference.
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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #256 on: January 27, 2014, 12:29:37 pm »
+1

I don't understand this thread.

Could someone explain it to me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_stress

or possibly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear_mapping

Bolded for influence. I'm a mathematician, I better get the Shear joke...


*assumed everyone was deliberately misinterpreting Tables so he would have to explain*

You see, there is a reoccurring joke on this message board that explaining jokes makes them funnier. This meme is often presented in the format of "Can someone please explain this joke to me?" In this case, Tables has applied this meme to this entire thread, because the thread is titled "A joke thread", and it contains a large number of jokes.

Yes, thats what my joke was referring too, and the fact that some people had obviously missed that reference.

Needs more explaining.
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jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #257 on: January 27, 2014, 01:17:24 pm »
0

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes may have many different forms, e.g., a single word or a gesture (considered in a particular context), a question-answer, or a whole short story. The word "joke" has a number of synonyms, including wisecrack, gag, prank, quip, jape and jest. To achieve their end, jokes may employ irony, sarcasm, word play and other devices. Jokes may have a punch line, i.e., an ending to make it humorous.
A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken joke in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).
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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #258 on: January 27, 2014, 01:34:22 pm »
+1

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes may have many different forms, e.g., a single word or a gesture (considered in a particular context), a question-answer, or a whole short story. The word "joke" has a number of synonyms, including wisecrack, gag, prank, quip, jape and jest. To achieve their end, jokes may employ irony, sarcasm, word play and other devices. Jokes may have a punch line, i.e., an ending to make it humorous.
A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken joke in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).

So don't use sugar for this thread.  Got it.
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #259 on: January 27, 2014, 07:31:18 pm »
0


So don't use sugar for this thread.  Got it.

What does sugar have to do with this thread...? And how would you use it?
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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #260 on: January 29, 2014, 09:19:10 am »
+2


So don't use sugar for this thread.  Got it.

What does sugar have to do with this thread...? And how would you use it?

It's a reference to the Def Leppard song, "Pour Some Sugar on Me".
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mail-mi

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #261 on: February 07, 2014, 02:42:31 pm »
+1

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

4/3 people have trouble with fractions.
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jonts26

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #262 on: February 07, 2014, 02:56:16 pm »
+2

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
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Axxle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #263 on: February 07, 2014, 04:02:16 pm »
+1

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
... and those who finish other people's sentences.
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theory

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #264 on: February 07, 2014, 04:10:51 pm »
+2

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
... and those who finish other people's sentences.
Sandwiches?  Why would I say sandwiches?
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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #265 on: February 07, 2014, 04:22:58 pm »
+2

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
... and those who finish other people's sentences.
Sandwiches?  Why would I say sandwiches?

we made sweet, oh how we made such sweet, sweet sandwiches



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Kirian

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #266 on: February 07, 2014, 05:54:34 pm »
+3

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can read binary, those who know nothing about numerical bases, and those who already realized that 10 up there was in ternary.
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Axxle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #267 on: February 07, 2014, 07:45:03 pm »
+7

There are 102 types of people in the world: those who properly notate their bases, and those who don't.
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Witherweaver

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #268 on: February 08, 2014, 12:31:56 am »
0

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can read binary, those who know nothing about numerical bases, and those who already realized that 10 up there was in ternary.

I was going to do that one!
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jonts26

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #269 on: February 08, 2014, 12:44:58 am »
+14

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who have seen too many versions of this joke, those that wouldn't mind seeing another one, those who think this has already gone on long enough, those who like running gags, those who think this has stopped being funny, those who thing it's become funny again, those who will complain that these categories aren't mutually exclusive, those who are going back to count how many this is, those who are expecting me to stop after nine, and those who think this should be in the anti-joke thread.
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Thisisnotasmile

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #270 on: February 08, 2014, 06:41:57 am »
+2

Why did the mathematician get confused between Hallowe'en and Christmas?

Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec
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scott_pilgrim

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #271 on: February 08, 2014, 10:41:18 pm »
+4

For anyone who likes music theory:

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest—and closes the bar.
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Awaclus

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #272 on: February 09, 2014, 06:22:48 am »
+2

The key to the success of all musicians of note is their ability to stay composed while performing at a level that can't be beat.
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #273 on: February 09, 2014, 08:45:52 am »
+1

There are two kinds of people i don't like. People who can't count, racists and blacks.
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #274 on: February 09, 2014, 04:17:59 pm »
0

There are 3 types of people I hate: racists, hypocrites, and Mexicans.
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