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Author Topic: A joke thread  (Read 181848 times)

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Kirian

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #200 on: February 01, 2013, 10:48:28 am »
0

http://liblr.com/twitter/super%20bowl%20XLVII/2012%20Dominionstrategy.com%20Championships

someday

Hah!

"Highlighting 10 Records that Could Fall During 2012 Dominionstrategy.com Championships"

"The picks are in for 2012 Dominionstrategy.com Championships... Who do the experts like?"  Presumably the answers are in this thread.
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SirPeebles

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #201 on: February 01, 2013, 10:50:34 am »
0

http://liblr.com/twitter/super%20bowl%20XLVII/2012%20Dominionstrategy.com%20Championships

someday

Hah!

"Highlighting 10 Records that Could Fall During 2012 Dominionstrategy.com Championships"

"The picks are in for 2012 Dominionstrategy.com Championships... Who do the experts like?"  Presumably the answers are in this thread.

Who will lespeutere's 10,000th game be with?
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #202 on: March 15, 2013, 11:26:27 am »
+6

I just saw commercials for McDonald's, Dr. Scholl's, and the St. Louis tourism board. Looks like Arch Adness has begun.
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Kirian

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #203 on: March 15, 2013, 11:46:16 am »
+1

I just saw commercials for McDonald's, Dr. Scholl's, and the St. Louis tourism board. Looks like Arch Adness has begun.

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jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #204 on: March 15, 2013, 12:24:34 pm »
0

I just saw commercials for McDonald's, Dr. Scholl's, and the St. Louis tourism board. Looks like Arch Adness has begun.

The real trouble is when everyone gets to sick of the ads they decide to turn off their TVs and read Being and Nothingness.

That's when you get the Sartre Sadness.

Brought to you by jokes that only work if you butcher the French language.
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #205 on: March 15, 2013, 01:42:02 pm »
0

That's far cleverer than my follow-up joke about the bird growing into adolescence: Larch Ladness.
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eHalcyon

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #206 on: March 15, 2013, 04:30:39 pm »
0

What about the university whose building design program is no longer recognized by the NAAB? B.Arch. Badness.
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #207 on: March 15, 2013, 04:32:59 pm »
0

Ok, what?
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SirPeebles

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #208 on: March 15, 2013, 07:04:09 pm »
0

That's far cleverer than my follow-up joke about the bird growing into adolescence: Larch Ladness.

This sounds like a Monty Python bit.
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #209 on: March 15, 2013, 08:01:15 pm »
0

That's far cleverer than my follow-up joke about the bird growing into adolescence: Larch Ladness.

This sounds like a Monty Python bit.

*Slaps him with a fish*
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #210 on: May 11, 2013, 07:14:27 pm »
+1

You want to hear a joke about Potassium?

K.

Do I know any about Sodium?

Na.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Barium.

What is the similarity between 16 Sodium atoms and Batman?

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na BATMAN!
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   Quote from: sudgy on June 31, 2011, 11:47:46 pm

sudgy

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #211 on: May 11, 2013, 07:14:45 pm »
+3

I would tell you another chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
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   Quote from: sudgy on June 31, 2011, 11:47:46 pm

mail-mi

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #212 on: May 11, 2013, 07:30:02 pm »
0

Hey, those belong in the bad puns thread!
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #213 on: May 11, 2013, 07:43:10 pm »
0

Hey, those belong in the bad puns thread!

Some of them didn't, so I put it here.
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   Quote from: sudgy on June 31, 2011, 11:47:46 pm

Galzria

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #214 on: August 22, 2013, 09:23:59 pm »
+7

How many Boy Bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- I don't know. Lightbulbs last longer than Boy Bands.


Marriage is a lot like a deck of cards. See, you start out with 2 Hearts and a Diamond, but by the end you're wishing you had a Club and Spade.


Yeah, we first got together in a chat-room. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cyber cafe. One thing led to another and we sneaked into a backroom, where she agreed to a download from my hard drive. And afterward we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and, since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little popup appeared.


In the Programmers dictionary, under Endless Loop, it says: n., see Loop, Endless.
Under Loop, Endless, it says: see Endless Loop.


What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?
This won't take long...did it?


A lawyer gets sideswiped by a truck, and he yells to a passerby, "Look what he did to my car!" The passerby says, "You're kind of materialistic, you didn't even notice that you just lost your arm" The lawyer says, "Oh my God, my Rolex!"


A father is driving home and suddenly he realizes that he hasn't bought a birthday present for his daughter. So he stops at the toy store and sees the doll in the window and asks, "How much is that Barbie?"  The owner says, "That's gym Barbie, that's $19.95 and that's Barbie at the prom, $19.95, and Barbie at work, $19.95, and that's divorced Barbie, that's $374"
He says "Wait, why is that one $374?"
"Well divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car and Ken's house, and Ken's furniture...."
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Total Losses: 20

Morgrim7

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #215 on: November 04, 2013, 08:00:03 am »
0

Knock Knock...
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2.71828.....

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #216 on: November 04, 2013, 08:26:41 am »
0

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Awaclus

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #217 on: November 04, 2013, 08:32:27 am »
+2

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #220 on: November 05, 2013, 08:23:53 am »
0

Knock Knock...
Who is there?
It's Morgrim7.
MORGRIM7 who?

Because Morgrim7 Morgrim8 Morgrim9!
I dont need to finish me joke now! That was a good one. Trust me though, I would not even think about eating Morgrim9.
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"Oh sweet merciful heavens.

I sit here, lost amongst the cloud, that which is the brain of the Morgrim Mod. Perhaps I will learn the inner workings of that storied mind. Perhaps I will simply go mad.

Mad, I tell you.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaad." -Voltgloss
Dominion Notation: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=7265.msg206246#msg206246

Polk5440

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #221 on: November 05, 2013, 03:47:09 pm »
0

And now for some lightbulb jokes:

How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -- Two. One to assume the existence of a ladder and one to screw in the bulb.

How many Chicago economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -- None. If the lightbulb needed changing, the market would have already done it.

How many doctoral students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    -- I'm writing my dissertation on that topic! I'll have an answer for you in 5 years.
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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #222 on: November 05, 2013, 04:06:45 pm »
+1

And now for some lightbulb jokes:

How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -- Two. One to assume the existence of a ladder and one to screw in the bulb.

How many Chicago economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -- None. If the lightbulb needed changing, the market would have already done it.

How many doctoral students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    -- I'm writing my dissertation on that topic! I'll have an answer for you in 5 years.

How many Quantum Mechanicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    -- None. Given enough time, the lightbulb will occur in this state with nonzero probability.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 04:45:00 pm by Witherweaver »
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WalrusMcFishSr

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #223 on: November 05, 2013, 04:15:01 pm »
+1

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

VE ARE ASKING ZE QVESTIONS HERE!

How many Vietnam War vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

You couldn't know maaaaan, you weren't there!
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Tables

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #224 on: November 05, 2013, 05:02:34 pm »
+3

How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
 Two. One to screw it in most of the way, and one to give it a surprising twist at the end

(Warning: Noticeably British based humour ahead)

How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
 Five. One to change the lightbulb, and four to explain why change won't occur in a two party system.

How many Conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb?
 CHANGE?                                         

How many taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb?
 CHANGE?                       

Oh, and while I'm on the topic of British humour:
Why does the river Mersey run through Liverpool?
 Because if it walked it would get mugged
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 05:04:40 pm by Tables »
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...spin-offs are still better for all of the previously cited reasons.
But not strictly better, because the spinoff can have a different cost than the expansion.
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