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Author Topic: A joke thread  (Read 181806 times)

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Drab Emordnilap

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #175 on: December 20, 2012, 11:17:15 pm »
+1

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Galzria

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #176 on: December 20, 2012, 11:23:41 pm »
+2

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Quote from: Voltgloss
Derphammering is when quickhammers go derp.

Faust has also been incredibly stubborn this game. In other news, it's hot in the summer, and water falls from the sky when it rains.


Mafia Record:
TOWN Wins: M3, M5, M6, M11, M17, M28, M32, M105, M108, M114, M118, M120, M122, DM1, DoM1, OZ2, RM45, RM47, RM48, RM49, RM55
TOWN Losses: M4, M7, M8, M9, M13, M14, M18, M31, M110, M111, M113, M117, M125, RM3, RM4, RM54
SCUM Wins: M2, M19, M23, M100, DM3, RM1, RM2, RM48, RM50
SCUM Losses: M15 (SK), M102 (Tr), OZ1, RM55

Total Wins: 30
Total Losses: 20

Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #177 on: January 17, 2013, 12:14:41 pm »
0

Blessed be Prometheus for bringing us fire. For his sacrifice, he shall be delivered day after day.
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #178 on: January 25, 2013, 08:05:33 pm »
0

Someone needs to be awake and talkative.
Had far too much beer and cider and if I go to bed now i'll have a wicked hangover in the morning!
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jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #179 on: January 25, 2013, 11:50:20 pm »
+3

that is exactly what the drinking thread is for man! This thread is for jokes!
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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #180 on: January 26, 2013, 06:45:20 am »
0

that is exactly what the drinking thread is for man! This thread is for jokes!

Yeah, to be honest, I couldn't find it last night while drunk (until Grujah posted in it). I thought this was the Random talk thread! haha
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jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #181 on: January 26, 2013, 10:58:40 am »
0

we are a sorry bunch on a Friday night.
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"I know old meta, and joth is useless day 1 but awesome town day 3 and on." --Teproc

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Ozle

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #182 on: January 26, 2013, 11:04:39 am »
0

in my defence, it was 2am in the morning!
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #183 on: January 27, 2013, 09:37:15 am »
+1

Now that I'm in music, I can make some jokes in that regard, though I'm not involved with orchestral music so much, so I have no business telling this joke.


How do you get two piccolo players in tune?

Shoot one of them.
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theory

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Tables

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #185 on: January 27, 2013, 11:16:42 am »
0

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?

The drummer.

(I feel justified making this one because I kinda play drums)
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...spin-offs are still better for all of the previously cited reasons.
But not strictly better, because the spinoff can have a different cost than the expansion.

pacovf

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #186 on: January 27, 2013, 05:18:18 pm »
0

If you are into obscure music jokes, I suggest Don't Shoot the Pianist.

e.g. http://euge.ca/2012/09/16/birthday/
http://euge.ca/2012/05/18/octave/
http://euge.ca/2012/05/04/three-hands/
http://euge.ca/2012/01/13/interruption/

Out of curiosity, for those of us that never took solfège lessons, which... err... scores (?) are played in "octave" you linked to, and in "coping" (http://euge.ca/2011/12/23/coping/) ?
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jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #187 on: January 27, 2013, 07:30:30 pm »
+4

Ok here goes:

A symphony is playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. Unfortunately, the string bass part on that piece has a really long stretch or rest. On day the bassists are shooting the shit during rehearsal, and one of them says "If we leave at the start of the rest, we can probably get a beer next door and get back in time to play."
The other says "I don't think we could quite make it, but I've got an idea. Maybe we can buy a little time if we tie some pages of the conductors music together. That way while he's fiddling with the knots we can get back."
So the basses went out, and one drink turned into two, and they only made it back right as the conductor got to the tied together pages. And the orchestra was really in trouble, because it was the bottom of the ninth, the basses were loaded, and the score was tied!
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Kirian

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #188 on: January 27, 2013, 07:36:44 pm »
+1

The interruption one went viral a while ago... and I didn't understand the others at all.

What's the difference between a trombone and an onion?  No one cries when you slice up a trombone.
What's the difference between a trombone and a tuba?  The tuba holds more beer.
What's the difference between a violin and an onion? I'd rather listen to someone new to music play the onion.
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Kirian's Law of f.DS jokes:  Any sufficiently unexplained joke is indistinguishable from serious conversation.

jotheonah

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #189 on: January 27, 2013, 07:46:34 pm »
+3

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, they have a machine that does that now.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
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"I know old meta, and joth is useless day 1 but awesome town day 3 and on." --Teproc

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theory

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #190 on: January 27, 2013, 07:51:25 pm »
0

If you are into obscure music jokes, I suggest Don't Shoot the Pianist.

e.g. http://euge.ca/2012/09/16/birthday/
http://euge.ca/2012/05/18/octave/
http://euge.ca/2012/05/04/three-hands/
http://euge.ca/2012/01/13/interruption/

Out of curiosity, for those of us that never took solfège lessons, which... err... scores (?) are played in "octave" you linked to, and in "coping" (http://euge.ca/2011/12/23/coping/) ?

Octave is Chopin's Fantasie-Impromptu:

Coping is Grieg's Piano Concerto
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SirPeebles

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #191 on: January 27, 2013, 07:53:06 pm »
+5

Music jokes?  You guys in some Band of Misfits?
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #192 on: January 28, 2013, 09:26:13 am »
+2

Music jokes?  You guys in some Band of Misfits?

I was, but I went to an Island and lost track of myself.
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theory

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #193 on: January 31, 2013, 02:01:12 pm »
+10

So Werner Heisenberg is driving down the road when he gets pulled over for speeding. The officer asks him if he knows how fast he was going. Heisenberg responds with, 'No, but I know where I am.'

The officer says, "Sir, you were going at 80 miles per hour!"

Heisenberg says, "Great, now I'm lost!"
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Kuildeous

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #194 on: January 31, 2013, 02:48:19 pm »
+1

When I played Flash Point (the real-life version and not this online version that's going to kick our ass), I was the Imaging Specialist and revealed an unknown blip to be the cat.

The fire next to it exploded, killing the cat.

I had to make a joke related to not knowing the state of the cat and dooming it.
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Drab Emordnilap

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #195 on: January 31, 2013, 02:58:07 pm »
0

http://liblr.com/twitter/the%20apocalypse/losing%20my%20virginity

Just saying, this is still a never ending font of comedy gold.

Quote
sighs so hard it causes a hurricane and mountains fall and antarctica breaks in half and it's suddenly losing my virginity

Quote
I think it might be losing my virginity because Amazon is down. Just saying.

Quote
"Setting a date for losing my virginity has historically never worked" -Dr. Pak "doesn't work for anniversaries, either" #colbysays

Quote
New stock just in! MARTIRE 'Brutal Legions Of losing my virginity' LP on NWN! Prod !! NZ$20 + shipping!


Also, NSFW? Explicit language, anyways.

#loveit when boys have the biggest smile after fisting you

RT @aceteague: Cuddling is cute and fun. Until the fisting happens... Then... well, shit gets real...
« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 03:04:08 pm by Drab Emordnilap »
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Drab Emordnilap

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #196 on: January 31, 2013, 02:59:28 pm »
+1

When I played Flash Point (the real-life version and not this online version that's going to kick our ass), I was the Imaging Specialist and revealed an unknown blip to be the cat.

The fire next to it exploded, killing the cat.

I had to make a joke related to not knowing the state of the cat and dooming it.

I had to read it three times before I understood that by "real-life version", you meant the physical board game, as opposed to actually being a firefighter. A firefighter who explodes cats, and jokes about it.
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Tables

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #197 on: January 31, 2013, 05:18:29 pm »
0

http://liblr.com/twitter/the%20apocalypse/losing%20my%20virginity

Just saying, this is still a never ending font of comedy gold

....

Quote
just passed a church sign that said "assault rifles won't save you from losing my virginity, but jesus will."
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...spin-offs are still better for all of the previously cited reasons.
But not strictly better, because the spinoff can have a different cost than the expansion.

Axxle

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« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 05:36:55 pm by Axxle »
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We might be from all over the world, but "we all talk this one language  : +1 card + 1 action +1 buy , gain , discard, trash... " - RTT

Drab Emordnilap

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Re: A joke thread
« Reply #199 on: January 31, 2013, 05:35:18 pm »
0

http://liblr.com/4yVDg

Quote
@cromanionfolks Amazing comment on that vid: Tell me little guy, are you the one who said that you fucked people's moms on Goko Dominion?(cont)
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