I just want to reiterate what jsh357 said. Nobody here wants to play against cheaters. We have had someone (RisingJaguar) look through your logs and he (I am assuming it is a he, but am not sure, sorry that I'm blanking on the gender-neutral pronoun) has looked through your logs for you, kindly enough, and has found nothing of the sort. I understand that the you may not be able to go through the logs, but understand that we are working with, not against, you here. Even if you could recall a single card or two from a game that you remember these fishy activities, it would be GREATLY appreciated.
I don't agree with rspeer's sassy response, but trust me, we get relatively few inconsiderate posters on the forum. Understand that from his (sorry for the male pronoun, again) POV, this does seem somewhat unrealistic. Those of us who have been on the site for long enough have seen other people stop by and claim that their opponent was cheating or their strategy unbeatable when in fact it was the OP's own misunderstanding of the game. I am not saying that that is what is going on here, but that rspeer is just salty from previous posts that are similar in style to this one.
As for the simulator-aid stuff, I must admit I am dubious. Just because someone is taking a long time between turns/decisions does not mean that he/she is a bot. Many here admit that they play better when taking their sweet time to analyze the board, especially during the first five turns of a game. As I am sure you know, a laggy internet connection also makes for a slow game. Is there any other evidence of them consulting a bot other than their slow play?
Know that none of us have ever seen (except for the stray game) anybody cheating on Isotropic, nor have we had anyone consulting bots on a regular basis. Occasionally, someone (I'm looking at you Geronimoo) will admit to referring to a bot before the game starts after the Kingdom has been determined, but this was a) not as bad as what you are saying, b) only done by a handful of players, c) not as slow as what you are saying, and d) admitted to once or twice before the practice was stopped due the forum frowning upon it. I would dig up the related post for you, but it's kind of late over here, and really, it is not that pertinent to this topic.
As for the heteronormative assumption, I figure it's something that we have to live with. There are some replacements like hir if I remember correctly, but let's be honest, those sound sort of stupid. Using "they" or "he or she" is generally taught as poor English in school, so I know that you, as a publicly-out lesbian, know that this happens all the time and is usually not worth being inconsiderate over. Sure, a POLITE correction is cool, but people really hate being attacked (read this thread over again, if you need more evidence of that) and know that you are doing the GLBTQ a disservice by being so rude about it.
I mean, I know it's really condescending to coach you on how to manage your life and such, but the GLBTQ community only can improve its image in society by taking the high road in every situation.
Lastly, and most importantly, keep playing Dominion! It's too fun to let a ranting thread turn you off from the game!