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Author Topic: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline  (Read 47762 times)

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Carline

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Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« on: December 04, 2020, 12:08:48 am »
+10

DOMINION: VENUS, a fan set by Carline

UPDATE: Now I'm using this thread to post the cards I create and I think are interesting, so don't see this set as an expansion in the same sense of official ones, which are smaller, more cohesive and focused in their characteristic mechanics. Maybe I split this set later in small sets. By now, this a work in progress and I'll be very happy with any feedbacks which help me to improve my cards. Thank you!

ORIGINAL TEXT:

For some time, I’ve been participating of the Weekly Design Contest of fan cards. Many thanks to the friends in this Forum who always help me there to improve my cards.

Now I’ll try to compile these cards with some new others and make my own first expansion set.

So here is Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion all with female characters, celebrating women power.

In terms of mechanics, as I don’t have the limitations of an official expansion which has to be published IRL and be able to be played without resources of other expansions, I put a bit of almost everything which Dominion has: Durations, Nights, Reserves, Horses, Exile, Events, Projects, Ways, Landmarks, Overpay, Debt, Tokens, etc.

I also tried some new things like Novice double-face cards, Events which attacks, Ways which play Attacks and Landmarks for each player.

I’ll be very happy with any suggestions you could give me to improve this set. In special, I’m not sure if I chose the best cost for each card.

Any feedbacks will be very welcome. Thank you very much!


  Updated: February, 11, 2021

  Kingdom Cards

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

 
Split Pile 5/5

     


  Guildmaster and Novices Set

  (Novices are double-face cards: Young Saboteur/Young Sorceress, Young Smith/Young Trickster)



     

     


  Spell and Spell Cards

               

  Four Seasons Set



               


  Mats

     

     

     


  Heirlooms

     

     


  Events

                                                  


  Ways

               


Way of the Beast and Beasts set

     

  Beasts (Double face cards)

  Gargoyle/Sphynx

            

  Medusa/Quimera

                      

  She-Wolf/Harpy

              


Quote
BEASTS SETUP
If Way of the Beast is in the game, set aside two of the the Beasts cards (faces which start up when the respective card is in the game: Gargoyle, Medusa and She-Wolf).


  Projects

                         
 

  Land Grant and its Landmarks Set



                                        




« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 11:47:31 pm by Carline »
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segura

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2020, 12:50:18 am »
+1

Joy and Footbridge are overpowered.

3/4, you buy Joy thrice and buy a Silver, your deck after the first shuffle consist of 7 Coppers and 1 Silver.

You hit 16, buy Footbridge 8 times and then are able to buy 9 Provinces.

Ways that refer to another card are needlessly complicated, just put the text of the other card directly on the Way.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2020, 12:58:49 am »
0

Ways that refer to another card are needlessly complicated, just put the text of the other card directly on the Way.

Thank you! I did this way to make possible to use Reactions against the Attacks. I don't know for sure, but I think otherwise it wouldn't be possible.

Anyway, Way of the Mouse already plays other card.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2020, 01:15:00 am »
0

Joy and Footbridge are overpowered.

3/4, you buy Joy thrice and buy a Silver, your deck after the first shuffle consist of 7 Coppers and 1 Silver.

You hit 16, buy Footbridge 8 times and then are able to buy 9 Provinces.


Removed the +Buy from Joy, nerferd Footbridge and made it doesn't apply to Victories. Hope these changes fix them.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2020, 02:05:26 am by Carline »
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gambit05

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2020, 02:58:36 am »
+1

Quite a lot of cards. It will take a while to go through all of them. So, here are just some general comments and a view first remarks on the first couple of cards. I hope you don't mind when I primarily make some suggestions on the wording first. No need to make any changes at this point.

One thing that the majority of people here ignore: What about giving the source/name of the artists? Also, you could easily name the creator of the cards (i.e. you). What about an icon?

Since you want this to be a set, did you looked at the balance/ratios of various standard card functions, e.g. how many cards give + Buy, how many can trash, how many are Village variants etc.?

My first impression (~ the first 10 cards): They look balanced and it seems to be an interesting mix of simple and novel concepts.

Here are some minor comments (mostly about wording/formatting) about the first couple of cards:

Maid
I would arrange the different options in text format, see e.g. Pawn or Squire.

Taverner
Lowercase (small letter): mat.

You have 3 $2-cost cards and all can produce + Buy; this might be a bit inflationary.

Horse Lady
Exile, i.e. "E" in Capital letter; also for other cards with this phrase.

Money Trick
$1 (w/o “+”), then “+1 Buy”
Directly after you finish…; see Royal Carriage
I think this has to be a Reaction?
"…revealing it." No space before full stop; Exile.
At a first glance this seems to be too weak.

Secret Place
Interesting concept.
Could be worded as "+7 Cards".
At the end of this turn, instead of drawing

Blessing
Trash (1st time only)

Blessed Gems
…you’ve trashed…

Emissary
How can it be checked that the passed cards are all copies of the same card?
What happens, for example in a 4-player game, when you have only 2 Coppers? Can the player pass them?


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gambit05

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2020, 05:09:23 am »
+1


After having a look to the second set of your cards, I have to say (so far): Well done! Overall, most of the cards look nice and interesting.

Guildmaster
Nice concept.
Maybe a bit clearer: “Flip one Novice card over”. Play both
Setup: …text…: not in italic.
Novice cards: (This…Supply.); i.e. parentheses.
Young Trickster: Different order, i.e. +1 Buy +1 Coffer; see Candlestick Maker.

Hidden Pond
I like it.
“…per differently…” or “…for each differently…” (not sure).
Hidden Pond mat.

Sacred Hall
This looks too powerful for a cantrip and with that cost.

Underworld Gate
Trash…
When you do something with the discard pile, you need the phrase “look through your discard pile”, i.e. in this context I would word it:
“Choose one: Look through your discard pile and trash a card from it or from your hand; or gain…”
3rd line: “…per differently…” or “for each differently”
Looks too powerful at first glance. Keep for examples the Zombies, trashed Ruins, or the presence of other Trashers in mind.

Buffon
Looks interesting.
Choose one: Gain…
What happens when the player to the left reveals a Buffon (or another Command card) and the player plays it twice?

Golden Spoils
In most cases, e.g. when I can build a considerably strong engine with other sources for +Buy, I would just get one Golden Spoils, i.e. a Gold for $5 without any penalty.

Gravedigger
“or trash…”
I have long thought about the cost when you asked about it in the Weekly Design Contest. Tentatively, I would say $4, but I am still not sure.
However, maybe my thought process can help you for deciding which cost is the best:

I compared Gravedigger with Graverobber, Rogue and Lurker (first option) and with Night Watchman, Warehouse, Guide and Embassy (second option) especially with respect to their abilities, but also for terminality, costs and choice availability.
I came to the conclusion that Gravedigger’s strength is its non-terminality combined with 2 complementing options. This allows a relatively easy combo of a double-Gravedigger that is always available:
The first Gravedigger trashes a valuable card in play ($5 is guaranteed because of self-trashing) for sifting, cycling and optimizing the next turn. The second copy trashes a junk card from hand (Estates, Copper etc.) to recover the valuable trashed card. The outcome can be compared with Night Watchman, which has a deck inspection range of 5 cards, whereas the double-Gravedigger combo allows a range of 10 cards and can/have to trash a junk card in the process. However, it is also possible that this combo fails, making a single Gravedigger much worse, and a double-Night Watchman would also increase the inspection range. The question is how much is this difference worth in terms of card costs?

Of course, this is only the baseline for Gravedigger. There are scenarios were even a single Gravedigger can perform better, e.g. when combined with Gold-gainers, Lurker, Fortress, but none of them seem to be exceptionally strong.

Anyway, this looks like a very interesting card to me.

Hands of Gold
“If you don’t…”
Again, interesting card.

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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2020, 05:32:10 am »
+1

gambit 05, thank you very much, I'm so happy with your attention to me! I appreciate very, very much  your comments. I will read them carefully to answer to them and make the changes in cards.

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2020, 05:38:29 am »
+4

I'd consider a different name for "G*psy Camp", on account of the first word of that being a slur.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2020, 06:07:19 am »
0

I'd consider a different name for "G*psy Camp", on account of the first word of that being a slur.

Oh, I really didn't know it. I even didn't know before you pointed that there are two different words in English, one with "y" and one with "i". it's ok to use "Gipsy"? Of course, what I meant to refer is the nomad people which culture I respect so much, without any negative connotations.

Edited: changed to "Circus Camp" by suggestion of gambit05.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2020, 06:36:17 am by Carline »
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gambit05

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2020, 06:26:20 am »
+2

I'd consider a different name for "G*psy Camp", on account of the first word of that being a slur.

Oh, really didn't know it. I even didn't know that there are two different words in English, one with "y" and one with "i". it's ok to use "Gipsy"?

No, different spelling, same meaning.

Most "gypsies" belong to the Roma (or Romani). See:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romani_people

But you if you want to avoid any specific tribe naming, you can just name the card "Circus Camp" or something like that. Seems to fit to the art somehow.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2020, 06:47:21 am »
+1

I'd consider a different name for "G*psy Camp", on account of the first word of that being a slur.

Oh, really didn't know it. I even didn't know that there are two different words in English, one with "y" and one with "i". it's ok to use "Gipsy"?

No, different spelling, same meaning.

Most "gypsies" belong to the Roma (or Romani). See:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romani_people

But you if you want to avoid any specific tribe naming, you can just name the card "Circus Camp" or something like that. Seems to fit to the art somehow.

Yes, changed to "Circus Camp", thank you!
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gambit05

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2020, 08:16:45 am »
+1

Here my comments on the last set of "Portrait" cards. Please keep in mind, that this is mostly about wording. With so many cards at once, I think it is easier to try to gradually improve them rather than go into deep thinking about each and every card.

Immolater
Wording: “Discard…”

Magic Library
Some wording suggestions: “…, after resolving it,…” or “…, after they finished playing it,…”.
Have you considered the consequences of Black Cat?

Marketplace
“Choose one: +1 Action; or +1 Buy, or +$1.
Each Marketplace after the first one can give (among other options) +1 Card, +1 Action, +$1, i.e. a Peddler. The first one can give (among others) +1 Card, +1 Action, +1 Buy, +$2, i.e. a Grand Market.
Overall, this seems to be a bit too strong with all its flexibility. If so, it seems to be difficult to change the cost. Maybe, as a start to nerf the card, skip the second +1 Buy.

Shipmaster
Wording: “…at the start…”
Can get complicated when Duration cards are targeted.

Tavern Nights
Wording: “and any Treasure cards…”
Calling regular (i.e. non-Reserve) Treasure cards may be a bit odd for some people (I don’t mind much). However, when you call a card, if not otherwise stated, it goes to the playing area. I guess, the Treasures then shouldn’t produce $. Is that the intention? If so, you could just discard them from the Tavern mat (see Wine Merchant) for $1 each. On the other hand, if your intention is that they also produce their own $ in the turn they are called, I think you need a different wording, probably avoiding “call” in this context.

Wishing Fountain
Looks okay.

Tale-Teller
This looks a bit expensive for what it does.

Distant Island
Exile (2x).
Do you need “If you did”?

Paladin
No need to reveal the cards (although the wording is shorter), i.e.: “Look at the top 3 cards of…”
Looks otherwise okay.

Amazon
Looks okay.

Overall: I haven’t counted or compared to official expansions, but I have the feeling that there are too many non-terminal cards for a set to be balanced this way; i.e. lots of cantrips, Villages, City variants, plus Night cards and Treasures.

The number of cards providing +Buy seems okay (on the upper end), but that all $2 cost cards have it is a bit unfortunate.
I didn't looked at the number of cards with other categories a set should have (Smithies, trashing, Workshop etc.), but I haven't encountered anything suspiciously wrong.


« Last Edit: December 04, 2020, 08:23:22 am by gambit05 »
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segura

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2020, 09:46:08 am »
+1

Sorry about the Ways, I was wrong and totally missed that the Attack type is relevant!

Circus Camp looks too good. It is Village+Fugitive with the discarding happening before the drawing. That downside is unlikely to compensate for the cheaper price (Fugitive is a $4.5 ) and the Village effect.

Hidden Pond is lovely, especially as you avoided the pitfall of triggering the effect on play ... and the on-trash is a neat Feodum-esque feature (kill a green card to increase the VPs of the other greens).

Sacred Hall is a cantrip VP token thingy in all deck drawing engines. That happens to frequently to justify violating such a fundamental rule.

Shipmaster is brilliant, a Lost City variant that is very likely quite balanced.
Amazon does not excite me, but $6 for a slightly better Lost City (if there are Thrones or Remodelers) is OK.

I love the combine-cards idea of Guildmaster! Easily the most innovative mechanism I have seen in some time.

Cursed Land looks like a more narrow use Desperation, but the lack of a "once per turn" restriction might make it different enough.

Touch of Life is likely too good with Copper. You open X/Touch of Life (or just Touch of Life) and all those Coppers got converted into Peddlers.
This needs a non-Copper restriction or, perhaps more interesting, a Coin cost. Converting Silvers/Golds into Double/Triple Peddlers is extremly good (I play with a $5 Project which was an official outtake that gives you the option of treating Silvers as Peddlers).

Land Grant is a great concept. I'd seriously consider a Coin price though, otherwise it is a free gift for whoever ends the turn with an extra Buy. Sure, Annex has the same problem but it is only 3VPs. Those Landmarks are usually worth more.


I like this set, the quality of the cards is quite high and the female theme is great.
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scolapasta

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2020, 10:52:22 am »
+3

For the attack Ways, it just seems a little overkill to have 3 cards that do the "same", the only difference being which card is set aside / played. What if it was just one Way, and for the set aside part, it says "set aside one of x,y, or z" or give them a type and have it set aside one of those type (then maybe you can even have some other cards that interact with that type?)
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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2020, 11:05:30 am »
+1

An initial note here is that there seems to be an imbalance of terminals, I think there are a couple too many non-terminal actions and not quite enough terminals.

Wishing Fountain seems really bad at 5 next to Laboratory, the trashing seems like it isn't enough to justify the price tag.

Calmness has a confusing wording, I'm not really sure what it does.

Burnish is too good with in the early game, particularly the opening. Maybe it should cost $2.

Season's Grace is pretty terrible next to sinister plot which is also +1 Card every other turn but a lot cheaper and more flexible.

Emissary could also use a clearer wording.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2020, 10:21:39 pm »
0

Joy and Footbridge are overpowered.

3/4, you buy Joy thrice and buy a Silver, your deck after the first shuffle consist of 7 Coppers and 1 Silver.

You hit 16, buy Footbridge 8 times and then are able to buy 9 Provinces.


Removed the +Buy from Joy, nerferd Footbridge and made it doesn't apply to Victories. Hope these changes fix them.

Changed Joy again to cost . It only costs you a buy, so you can do something useful even with very bad hands like "2 Curses , 3 Estates" or "King's Court, Moneylender, 3 Victories".


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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2020, 01:12:13 am »
0

Sorry about the Ways, I was wrong and totally missed that the Attack type is relevant!

Circus Camp looks too good. It is Village+Fugitive with the discarding happening before the drawing. That downside is unlikely to compensate for the cheaper price (Fugitive is a $4.5 ) and the Village effect.

Hidden Pond is lovely, especially as you avoided the pitfall of triggering the effect on play ... and the on-trash is a neat Feodum-esque feature (kill a green card to increase the VPs of the other greens).

Sacred Hall is a cantrip VP token thingy in all deck drawing engines. That happens to frequently to justify violating such a fundamental rule.

Shipmaster is brilliant, a Lost City variant that is very likely quite balanced.
Amazon does not excite me, but $6 for a slightly better Lost City (if there are Thrones or Remodelers) is OK.

I love the combine-cards idea of Guildmaster! Easily the most innovative mechanism I have seen in some time.

Cursed Land looks like a more narrow use Desperation, but the lack of a "once per turn" restriction might make it different enough.

Touch of Life is likely too good with Copper. You open X/Touch of Life (or just Touch of Life) and all those Coppers got converted into Peddlers.
This needs a non-Copper restriction or, perhaps more interesting, a Coin cost. Converting Silvers/Golds into Double/Triple Peddlers is extremly good (I play with a $5 Project which was an official outtake that gives you the option of treating Silvers as Peddlers).

Land Grant is a great concept. I'd seriously consider a Coin price though, otherwise it is a free gift for whoever ends the turn with an extra Buy. Sure, Annex has the same problem but it is only 3VPs. Those Landmarks are usually worth more.

I like this set, the quality of the cards is quite high and the female theme is great.

Thank you very much! I will see about Circus Camp, Sacred Hall and Touch of life.
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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2020, 01:34:16 am »
+1

Overall: I haven’t counted or compared to official expansions, but I have the feeling that there are too many non-terminal cards for a set to be balanced this way; i.e. lots of cantrips, Villages, City variants, plus Night cards and Treasures.

An initial note here is that there seems to be an imbalance of terminals, I think there are a couple too many non-terminal actions and not quite enough terminals.

Yes, there's a lack of terminals, in special strong terminal draw. So I'm adding these two cards. Maybe I will also add a terminal gainer.

Feedbacks are welcome, as always.

     

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Carline

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2020, 04:16:54 am »
+1

You have 3 $2-cost cards and all can produce + Buy; this might be a bit inflationary.

The number of cards providing +Buy seems okay (on the upper end), but that all $2 cost cards have it is a bit unfortunate.

Yes, so I'm adding a cost without + buy.



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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2020, 06:15:16 am »
+1

Comments on a few problematic ones (these are not representative, I think a lot of the ones I'm not commenting on are fine).



With 10$, you can get 6 cards costing 5$. Is this intended? Seems a bit much.



This is basically just way of the squirrel -- not sure the concept is worth the mat. Why not just draw more cards for next turn?



This is pretty busted. It's a support card, so it can't break the game, but it's almost Refuge + village. I think this would be more reasonable at 5$.

gambit05

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #20 on: December 05, 2020, 10:24:00 am »
+1

Overall: I haven’t counted or compared to official expansions, but I have the feeling that there are too many non-terminal cards for a set to be balanced this way; i.e. lots of cantrips, Villages, City variants, plus Night cards and Treasures.

An initial note here is that there seems to be an imbalance of terminals, I think there are a couple too many non-terminal actions and not quite enough terminals.

Yes, there's a lack of terminals, in special strong terminal draw. So I'm adding these two cards. Maybe I will also add a terminal gainer.

Feedbacks are welcome, as always.

     
You have 3 $2-cost cards and all can produce + Buy; this might be a bit inflationary.

The number of cards providing +Buy seems okay (on the upper end), but that all $2 cost cards have it is a bit unfortunate.

Yes, so I'm adding a cost without + buy.





They all look solid and interesting enough and they shift the ratios away from too many non-terminals, and from only having $2 cost cards giving +Buy. Your set looks really promising.
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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #21 on: December 05, 2020, 12:59:53 pm »
+1

Comments on a few problematic ones (these are not representative, I think a lot of the ones I'm not commenting on are fine).



With 10$, you can get 6 cards costing 5$. Is this intended? Seems a bit much.



This is basically just way of the squirrel -- not sure the concept is worth the mat. Why not just draw more cards for next turn?



This is pretty busted. It's a support card, so it can't break the game, but it's almost Refuge + village. I think this would be more reasonable at 5$.

Thank you, I will see about Circus Camp end Footbridge.

About Secret Place: It's not only 2 cards for your next turn. When you draw 7 cards and put 7 on the mat, you decide from all cards in your hand which ones will be the 7 for next turn and which ones you will keep in hand for this turn. You could choose if you sacrify present turn to get a better next turn, sacrify next turn to boost the present turn or divide your best resources between both.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2020, 01:42:31 pm by Carline »
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silverspawn

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #22 on: December 05, 2020, 01:27:55 pm »
+1

Ah, I hadn't read it carefully enough. That's actually a pretty cool effect.

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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #23 on: December 05, 2020, 02:18:23 pm »
0




With 10$, you can get 6 cards costing 5$. Is this intended? Seems a bit much.


With , if you pay to reduce cards cost by , you will have only of rest and could buy only 2 cost cards. The difference from regular buying is only the +Buy.

To buy 6 cost cards you have to spend $18.



Edit: Anyway, I changed it to the following version, so you can get only 3 cost reductions and 3 extra buys per turn.

« Last Edit: December 05, 2020, 02:59:32 pm by Carline »
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Re: Dominion: Venus, a fan expansion by Carline
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2020, 02:21:17 pm »
+1

...does footbridge increase the cost of Coppers?
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