The history of f.ds newbie mafia games is a long and storied one. It is a story of newbies. It is a story of... mafia. Yes, indeed. But through the years the game have always felt a little off. In his 21st century classic "Newbie Mafia: A History", Teproc speaks of "incredible lynches, unforgettable L-1 announcements, some of the most obscene and cringeworthy RVS stages in modern history," and the debuts of some of "the most legendary f.ds mafia figures, like Teproc, Teproc, and Teproc."
But the golden days of f.ds newbie mafia were not without their flaws. While Teproc assures us "there was plenty of MVP caliber play, mostly from myself," flavor, or lack thereof, "turned a lot of people off. But so did my ridiculously awesome play, so whatever. Screw 'em." Oh the mods did their best to make games interesting, but they never quite succeeded. Most games were a Dominion theme of some sort, "and I completely dominated", says Teproc. "No seriously, go look! I'm a friggin BEAST! Quickhammering at NIGHT? Who else could pull that off? Who else could get away with it? Nobody. Nobody but me, that's who. WUT!"
But the games lacked variety. Players grew weary with the Dominion theme, and they became bitter of Teproc's superior play, what with him quickhammering even if there wasn't a wagon. "I gained the nickname 'The Chuck Norris of Newbie Mafia'," recalls Teproc, "I would shoot the whole mafia team as a SURVIVOR! I would bypass wagons and just lynch people BY MYSELF when I felt like it! When I was town on a wagon, we ALWAYS lynched scum, even if they were town! And if I was scum, I would NK my partners and win the game by MYSELF!"
A true legend indeed. And with that, I present to you the glorious return of super awesome flavor names. Enjoy!
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