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oh heck yea

15 (68.2%)

yes

1 (4.5%)

no

6 (27.3%)

Total Members Voted: 22

[schadd]

welcome to the dnd that is my one!
   -there are very few rules in comparison to the real kind, everything is gonna be qualitative instead of quantitative (e.g. that goblin looks super almost dead and has a bunch of gashes on her face, rather than that goblin has 2 hp left or whatever)


   -anything goes, which is to say, you can have your character attempt to do anything and the success is determined by a dice roll, put in the context of how likely it would have been to begin with (i.e. something like 'become a god' has, like, no chance of success even with like 3 consecutive 20s).


   -dice rolls won't be "this will work with a roll of n or higher," rather, i decide some outcome that is somewhere between catastrophically clumsy (1) and immaculately executed (20).


   -there will be a somewhat loosely observed map, inventory, and increasing skillset.


   -i will use random.org 1-20 for dice rolls, and attempt to use dice rolls for as many things as possible


expect it to be low commitment, fairly long-term, and super dumb and maybe lightly offensive

current players:
1. roadrunner
2. lalight
3. adk
4. another ragtag bunch of rapscallions

in the near future, you can send me an application to fall from the sky and join the fray. if you want to interact but don't feel the need to join, you can apply to be a force of nature (e.g. make there suddenly be a bunch of wind flowing west)
to join, choose a race, gender, specialization, blessing, curse, and other thing:
races:
  *everiman: no distinguishing characteristics, really, tends to be somewhat physically strong and socially competent
  *dork'm: really scrunched-up orc face, brutish, good at hand-to-hand combat and stuff, super racist
  *dank elf: affinity for drugs
  *nerd'm: generally seem to have an aloof and pretentious expression, good at magic and arithmetic, often get punched in the face
  *joht: have a very wide assortment of random skills, fun at parties, emotionally repressed
  *sneak'm: sneaky, good at archery and stuff, tend to notice when people's flies are unzipped but don't say anything
  *mahst: a weird ghosty sorta thing that have an affinity for any weird mystical type stuff. they usually avoid eye contact
  *glihb: universally attractive and personable. i heard they have a girlfriend that goes to a different school


genders:
  *male
  *female
  *frensnark
  *unspecified


specialization/area of study: choose major and minor
  *sword combat, hand weaponry of all shapes and sizes except for the really weird ones that were elective courses
  *archery, crossbows, that that go shooty-shooty
  *sneakin around
  *magic - the friendly ones like healing and armor and stuff
  *magic - the eeeeevil ones like fire and being able to yell really loud
  *music, bardsmanship, generally strong manual dexterity and some affinity for drugs also
  *speechcraft, smooth-talking, politics, shoehorning yourself as the party leader and stuff
  *art history, which should, uh, occasionally be useful
(note: this and also sorta the race are non-binding, and if you are for some reason captivated by the desire to learn a new skill you can expect to pick it up eventually)


blessing (often given the opportunity to change, diegetically)
  *of smackatosh: original rolls of 20 on a combat thing result in a suuuuuper crit
  *of snatura: whenever you help a person, this deity summons for you a friendlus dop for some amount of minutes
  *of beliespor: you can do a really fast sprint thing but it makes you nauseous


curses (ibid.)
  *of plaggadon: original rolls of 10 or 12 on speech replace one of the nouns that you use with 'robot underpantsssss'
  *of dabbadoo: original rolls of 10 or 12 on magic spells that hit you will be disastrous
  *of xastron: original rolls of 10 or 12 for worldgen (!) will make the place smell really bad


other things: you can choose up to two affinities for something, but here's the catch: i roll a d20 that determines how good it is. 10 doesn't change anything, more makes you better at the thing and less makes you oh so worse

[Roadrunner7671]

/in Didn't read the setup, just honed in on the word 'dank.' I wanna be a dank elf

[schadd]

/in Didn't read the setup, just honed in on the word 'dank.' I wanna be a dank elf

to join, choose a race, gender, specialization, blessing, curse, and other thing:

[Roadrunner7671]

I'll be a male dank elf who specalized in sword combat and minored in the bard drug one. My curse should be the curse of dabbadoo and my blessing shall by that of smackitosh

[LaLight]

wow, I'm in! I have 2 am, I read half the setup, will read another one in the morning =)

[A Drowned Kernel]

Okay here we go:

Male Joht, speechcraft major, sneaking around minor, blessing of beliespor, curse of dabbadoo

Also: affinity for parlor games (darts, billiards, etc.)

[schadd]

Also: affinity for parlor games (darts, billiards, etc.)

well. you got a 1. /pledge to never lie about dice rolls, here or hereafter.

at some point during your undergrad you had a freak pipe-smoking accident that gave you permanent parlor-game ptsd. any time you are presented with a parlor game you will have a panic attack and puke and stuff.

so. once lalight gets his character in order i'll give a little starting scene and we shall begin. as far as turn order or whatever, you can give commands for your character (in bold, how about) until the last 3 commands out of 6 were yours. you can do schemingy stuff by pm once we get into things.

imaginably if someone wants in later they can fall from the sky or whatever

[schadd]

also, rr, surely you would like to declare some other affinity for something? or i guess drugs is enough

[Roadrunner7671]

also, rr, surely you would like to declare some other affinity for something? or i guess drugs is enough

The risk vs. reward isn't great. It's a 50/50 chance. I might check it in a minute, but drugs are great.

[Roadrunner7671]

Actually is affinity for Dominion an option?

[schadd]

Actually is affinity for Dominion an option?

i mean yeah but don't expect dominion to pop up all too often in this wubbulous world

[Roadrunner7671]

Actually is affinity for Dominion an option?

i mean yeah but don't expect dominion to pop up all too often in this wubbulous world

I'm going for it

[schadd]

Actually is affinity for Dominion an option?

i mean yeah but don't expect dominion to pop up all too often in this wubbulous world

I'm going for it

10. you are okay at dominion

[Roadrunner7671]

Actually is affinity for Dominion an option?

i mean yeah but don't expect dominion to pop up all too often in this wubbulous world

I'm going for it

10. you are okay at dominion

Well I could've told you that!

[LaLight]

okay!
Female (why not?) mahst, major specialization is evil king of magic, minor is music, blessing is snatura, curse of plaggadon

I'm affinite for dancing on the tables and horses.

[schadd]

I'm affinite for dancing on the tables

15. you are the life of the party and get some combat bonuses when you have recently danced on a table

I'm affinite for [...] horses.

8. horses will generally respond to you a little bit less than most people

[LaLight]

I'm affinite for dancing on the tables

15. you are the life of the party and get some combat bonuses when you have recently danced on a table

I'm affinite for [...] horses.

8. horses will generally respond to you a little bit less than most people

Wow! I'm dancing on the table right now!

[schadd]

let us begin!
the three of you are on the ground on a neat stack in a large room of a cave; you can see the walls of the cave forming a hemisphere around you with a radius of like 100 meters. there is a stream of a glowing, green fluid that is somehow moving uphill through the middle of the cave. on the opposite side of the stream is a door. in front of that door is a skeleman holding a Menacing Battleaxe. there is a bright yellow and also glowing chest behind you.


roadrunner: not wounded. has 5 feppings in his left pocket and a pleen mace in a holster-type thing on his left leg. his right pocket has a jaw harp, a lighter and a small unlabeled box.


lalight: not wounded. fully magicked and stuff. 3 feppings in left pocket and a Standard Issue Wand holstered on her left leg. her right pocket has a note from her mom. known magic spells: conjure angerwolf (2), shoot modest fireball (4), and summon boulder to fall on a nearby target (1). parentheticals denote how many times you can expect to use it before running out of magic


adk: not wounded. 9 feppings in left pocket. folded up picture of a spook in right pocket.

[LaLight]

excuse me, what is fepping and what does it do?

[schadd]

excuse me, what is fepping and what does it do?

it is a blue coin that gets spent on stuff

[LaLight]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[schadd]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

[McGarnacle]

imaginably if someone wants in later they can fall from the sky or whatever

I may be falling from the sky in the near future. If you ever see an awesome, invincible character plummeting toward you at terminal velocity, that would be me.

[LaLight]

imaginably if someone wants in later they can fall from the sky or whatever

I may be falling from the sky in the near future. If you ever see an awesome, invincible character plummeting toward you at terminal velocity, that would be me.

You're a golden chest?

[LaLight]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

Good that it's on his side. Thus the skeleman don't pay any mind, I'll investigate the chess

[McGarnacle]

imaginably if someone wants in later they can fall from the sky or whatever

I may be falling from the sky in the near future. If you ever see an awesome, invincible character plummeting toward you at terminal velocity, that would be me.

You're a golden chest?

Nope, I'm a super hero with OP armor and a gun that can shoot grenades, bullets that pass through walls, flames, electricity blasts, etc.

At least I am in another RPG I play with friends.

[schadd]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

Good that it's on his side. Thus the skeleman don't pay any mind, I'll investigate the chess

you attempt to [3] crack open the chest. it turns out the lid is a bit heavy and your fingers keep slipping

[McGarnacle]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

Good that it's on his side. Thus the skeleman don't pay any mind, I'll investigate the chess

you attempt to [3] crack open the chest. it turns out the lid is a bit heavy and your fingers keep slipping

Should have spent more points on strength  .

[LaLight]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

Good that it's on his side. Thus the skeleman don't pay any mind, I'll investigate the chess

you attempt to [3] crack open the chest. it turns out the lid is a bit heavy and your fingers keep slipping

Well, I investigate bodies of my fallen friends. Then rest

[schadd]

trying to cry some greetings to skeleman

[15] you ease yourself cleanly out of the pile of bodies, the other two of which seem to be unconscious still. you yell out, in a voice that is well-calibrated to the acoustics of the room, "yoo-hoo! skelemaaan!" and he looks at you a bit anxiously and then looks away at some other thing. a stalactite falls onto the floor somewhere on his side of the cave. yikes.

Good that it's on his side. Thus the skeleman don't pay any mind, I'll investigate the chess

you attempt to [3] crack open the chest. it turns out the lid is a bit heavy and your fingers keep slipping

Well, I investigate bodies of my fallen friends. Then rest

[20] you, uh, notice that both of them have beards that result from being unshaven for 4.3 days and both of them have a small, yet suspicious puncture wound on the left side of their necks. you check your own neck and realize that you have the same wound. it does not hurt when you touch it. then you immediately descend into rem sleep

[A Drowned Kernel]

check picture of spook to see if there is a resemblance to the skeleman

[A Drowned Kernel]

Question: do I recognize my companions?

[schadd]

check picture of spook to see if there is a resemblance to the skeleman

[9] you look at the picture and are spooked. it is not the skeleman.

also, no, you don't recognize the companions or anything about the situation. you usually take the picture of the spook with you while adventuring and tend to have a few spare feppings. a largeish amount, at the moment.

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to befriend the skelman holding a menacing battle ax

[McGarnacle]

imaginably if someone wants in later they can fall from the sky or whatever

I may be falling from the sky in the near future. If you ever see an awesome, invincible character plummeting toward you at terminal velocity, that would be me.

You're a golden chest?

Nope, I'm a super hero with OP armor and a gun that can shoot grenades, bullets that pass through walls, flames, electricity blasts, etc.

At least I am in another RPG I play with friends.

Never mind, just tonight my fellow heros and I got destroyed by some cheesy villains. I'm currently on mars, looking for a magical artifact, so I don't think I will be able to save you guys from Skeleman.

[schadd]

I try to befriend the skelman holding a menacing battle ax

[2] you wander over in the direction of skello, forgetting that there is a weird mystical steam in the way. you walk through it and then are immediately swept off your feet and land face down. mystiwater starts following up your nose.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I valiantly pull my companion out of the stream.

[schadd]

I valiantly pull my companion out of the stream.

[6] you slowly walk up and grab onto rr's arm and drag him out of the stream. an imperfect hold results in an audible crack as his shoulder pops in and out of place. you say 'eeeuh' unnaturally loudly, but fortunately rr's eats are clogged and lalight is very asleep. he hears your voice in a dream, coming from a cat.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Do I have to give a command to talk or can I just type things in character?

[schadd]

Do I have to give a command to talk or can I just type things in character?

you are allowed to say stuff to me, lalight, and roadrunner, the people sitting behind computers, but to say stuff to the people currently lying on the floor in some cave requires a command. the extent to which you allow your character to have your own knowledge is up to you, and there will always be important stuff that neither of you know.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I ask the prone guy with goo in his ears if he knows what's going on.

[Roadrunner7671]

I ask the prone guy with goo in his ears if he knows what's going on.

I don't hear you because I have goo in my ears. I'm also probably screaming in pain.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I attempt to communicate via sign language.

[schadd]

I ask the prone guy with goo in his ears if he knows what's going on.

[2] you uncomfortably meander up to roadrunner and then accidentally lay face down on the ground (outside of the stream) and then accidentally yell up into the air "the future, is comin on, it's comin on, it's comin on"

I don't hear you because I have goo in my ears. I'm also probably screaming in pain.

this is parsed as a command because you bolded it.
[2] you fail to not hear him (but rather hear his somewhat tone-deaf rendering of clint eastwood) and also instead of attempting to scream out in pain, you scream out in eels. "eeeew! eels!" you yell, and in doing so lead your companions to the reasonable assumption that there are eels in the stream. there is goo in your ears but somehow it does not impede hearing or cause pain.

[schadd]

I attempt to communicate via sign language.

[10] you make a reasonable effort to ask him what the deal is, and what was the whole thing with the eels anyway. unfortunately, buttzworth's speech college was really only interested in the spoken arts, and the only thing you are able to ask is "where are the bathrooms?" roadrunner does not notice either way, seeming preoccupied.

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to move closer to the sleeping fellow and I try to get the goo out of my ears via my fingers (unless Q Tips or something similar are available)

[schadd]

I try to move closer to the sleeping fellow and I try to get the goo out of my ears via my fingers (unless Q Tips or something similar are available)

[7] you sorta try to squish some of the gork out of your ears, non-strategically, and it all evaporates as soon as you touch it, making an audible magicky sound. you realize the tone to be A440 and say 'cool.' you are now within 5 meters of the sleepwoman.

[Roadrunner7671]

I poke the sleeping woman a few times to make sure that they're just taking a nap and not in fact, dead.

[schadd]

I poke the sleeping woman a few times to make sure that they're just taking a nap and not in fact, dead.

[7] you limply lean over and poke her a few times. each time your finger permeates the mahstcloud that forms her flesh and whatever you learn a fact about her.
-as a young ghoostling she wanted to be a car
-she has always secretly been attracted to frensnarks but has only ever been in relationships with men
-most of the food she eats is green, entirely by coincidence

she says "i'm asleep." though you haven't met very many mahsts, you remember that they say that they're asleep pretty often when they're asleep.

[Roadrunner7671]

I gesture for the skelemen to come over to me

[schadd]

I gesture for the skelemen to come over to me

[1] you put the business end of your pleen mace in your mouth and flip the skeleton off, holding this position for like 10 seconds, and then yell "come n get me, you big stupid booger!"
the skeleman looks kinda anxious and tries to look away but realizes that there is nothing reasonable that he could pretend to look at. he waves, uncomfortably

[A Drowned Kernel]

I ask the skeleman if he knows what's going on.

[Roadrunner7671]

I offer him drugs, whether I have them or not

[schadd]

I ask the skeleman if he knows what's going on.

[7] you slowly approach the skeleman again, nearly forgetting about the stream of magigack that claimed the ear hygiene of your predecessors. you stop just before the stream and call out, in a pleasant and disarming voice that at this point comes naturally to you, "hey, guy, pardon me but do you know what the situation is, here, with us?"

he replies back, "i w- hi, uh, yes, i sorta do but i'm not really s- uh, not supposed t.. to..."
he looks despondent with his situation.

[schadd]

I offer him drugs, whether I have them or not

[3] you meander over ad skelemanem and narrowly fail to make the same correction that your companion does and fall over into the stream, again. from the ground you yell, "aayyy babeee do you want some dank kush or som'n? i gotta little umm box, here, uh.."

[schadd]

you hear, lazily from behind you, "i'm asleep. super asleep and all that noise"

[Roadrunner7671]

I'm going to search LaLight's pockets for anything useful. She's not gonna be using it

[schadd]

I'm going to search LaLight's pockets for anything useful. She's not gonna be using it

[2] you accidentally slap her in the face, kinda hard. she says "i'm still asleep. but jeez, though, dude." you reach for her pocket but instead put your hand in your own pocket and throw all of your feppings on the ground

[Roadrunner7671]

These dice rolls are really something
I pick my shekels up. This probably shouldn't require a roll because I'd have to some type of idiot stoner to not be able to perform simple tasks.

[mail-mi]

/in?

Male nerd'm, specialty major: magic (the eeeevil ones), minor: magic (the friendly ones), blessing of snatura, curse of plaggadon.

Affinity for spectacle design and interpretative dance.

[schadd]

These dice rolls are really something
I pick my shekels up. This probably shouldn't require a roll because I'd have to some type of idiot stoner to not be able to perform simple tasks.

everything requires a roll you idiot stoner


[12] you lean over and pick up all of your feppings and repocket them. fortunately they were on a somewhat curved surface and easy to pick up

this will be the last one tonight. lal needs time to clean up your collective messes

[schadd]

/in?

Male nerd'm, specialty major: magic (the eeeevil ones), minor: magic (the friendly ones), blessing of snatura, curse of plaggadon.

Affinity for spectacle design and interpretative dance.

you will fall out of the sky later

[mail-mi]

/in?

Male nerd'm, specialty major: magic (the eeeevil ones), minor: magic (the friendly ones), blessing of snatura, curse of plaggadon.

Affinity for spectacle design and interpretative dance.

you will fall out of the sky later

kk thx

[LaLight]

well. I laughed soooo hard.

I try to wake up
If I do: I try to ask what happened
If I do: I try to open chest again

[A Drowned Kernel]

I remonstrate the would-be thief on his moral failings.

[schadd]

I try to wake up

[13] alley oop.

If I do: I try to ask what happened

[12] hey. uh, you over there, in the roooooboooot underpaaaaants, do you know what's going on? (he puts on a somewhat confuesed and disgusted expression and shakes his head no)

If I do: I try to open chest again

[9] you curl your fingers functionally under the handle and creak the chest open. it contains...

[1] for the emergent druggie swordsman, a crumpled up picture of a brown longsword. somebody used this picture to dispose of their gum. it smells funky
[17] for the cunning sorceress, a bright beam-dagger that restores magic and says "nice!" both with intensity proportional to the strength of hit. you start scheming how this would be very good with any melee-enhancing spells
[15] for the suave orator, a bottomless bottle of mouthwash that not only can be used to dispense of breath-degrading bacteria but also blind opponents temporarily when applied to the eyes.

I remonstrate the would-be thief on his moral failings.

[18] you approach roadrunner, and, at an aggressive yet respectful distance, assert to him that "i will not have any of this behavior in my cave, you little druggie elf. you should be ashamed" in a timbre that would make elebitha buttzman herself find a quivering lower lip. rr collapses into a sad puddle.

[Roadrunner7671]

I attempt to leave the cave without going through the mist

[LaLight]

I attempt to read a note in my pocket

[schadd]

I attempt to leave the cave without going through the mist

the stream forms a continuous barrier  between you and the side of the cave with the door. you could probably traverse it with trial and error.

I attempt to read a note in my pocket

[12] you pull it out and unfold it. your mother asks, "hey, could you get me some eggs? thanks"

[Roadrunner7671]

I'm going to try to go deeper into the cave. If that's not possible I will try to get through the barrier.

I'm also going to see what's in my box

[schadd]

i suppose there will occasionally be things that your character remembers that you don't. for example, you can attempt to recall things like where your mother lives and how many eggs she tends to need

[schadd]

I'm going to try to go deeper into the cave. If that's not possible I will try to get through the barrier.

I'm also going to see what's in my box

here is a map





[5] you wander unto the stream and again are swept off your feet. it isn't moving especially quickly but it is very dense and forceful. you suspect that even with higher rolls you would be unable to traverse it, but feel free to keep trying. in the meantime there is gak in your ears again.

[12] you pull out your boxeroo. it almost slips out of your hand and into the flowing stream next to you but then it doesn't. you open it up and find a note from your guidance counselor. it says "no weed in here, loser"and is accompanied of a picture of kerself surfing

[A Drowned Kernel]

1) I kindly ask the Mahst Lady to relinquish the mouthwash to me, as it would be a most effective tool in my hands.

2) I attempt to gauge the buoyancy of the empty chest.

[LaLight]

I try to recall, what did i do before getting to this cave and was we acquainted

I tell ADK that I want to have something in exchange

I loudly ask skeleman, will he help us to cross the stream. Otherwise I'll kill him.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I tell the Mahst Lady that I admire her capitalistic spirit, and offer her a single fepping and my autograph, which is sure to become a collector's item in the coming decades.

[LaLight]

I tell the Mahst Lady that I admire her capitalistic spirit, and offer her a single fepping and my autograph, which is sure to become a collector's item in the coming decades.

I appreciate of gentleman's effort, but on what and how does he want to write an autograph? I'm not giving him my mom's note.

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to see what happens if I get swept down the stream (not by amgettinh swept away, but by looking and stuff)

[A Drowned Kernel]

You'll have to accept the promise of an autograph at a later date, I suppose.

[schadd]

2) I attempt to gauge the buoyancy of the empty chest.

[15] it seems as though the material is sturdy but not very dense, and, as somebody noticed earlier, the stream is very dense. it would almost certainly float and hold at least one person in it, but flow pretty quickly downstream.

I try to recall, what did i do before getting to this cave and was we acquainted

[5] you vaguely remember frolicking in some plains (or was it a forest?) looking for an herb of some sort, and then you suddenly don't have memories after that. neither adk nor roadrunner are familiar.

I loudly ask skeleman, will he help us to cross the stream. Otherwise I'll kill him.

[11] you yell across the room, "hey. you better help us out with this ordeal, else you're a dead skeleman." he says "uh, real sorry but um, uh. i really, really can't. at all."

I try to see what happens if I get swept down the stream (not by amgettinh swept away, but by looking and stuff)

[18] some cursory glances and investigative pacing reveal to you, at the left side of the room there is a little gutter from which the stream rises and goes uphill, and at the right side you see a similar gutter, with some spikes that don't look too menacing but definitely not a fun time. you manage to lightly dip your hand in the goop and feel that it is providing enough force to probably push a chest with 1 or 2 people in it downstream. the goop that briefly gathered on your fingers quickly evaporates with a loud "wheesk!"
the stream is somewhat translucent, and appears to be quite deep.

[Roadrunner7671]

Yo! I could go in the chest if you wanted me to. That sounds rad!

[A Drowned Kernel]

But we can't leave the wolf and the goat alone on one side of the bank...

I approve of the scoundrel's plan to take the chest for a test drive.

[Roadrunner7671]

I grab the chest, set it into the stream (still holding onto it) then hop in

[schadd]

I grab the chest, set it into the stream (still holding onto it) then hop in

[9] you pick up the chest, dump all of the stuff in it onto the floor, and then hup it into the stream and jump in. the consistency of the goopo makes for very little woobles and wobbles, you you float pretty steadily all the way to the spikes. "ouch!" you say, "the spikes!"

you step out onto the ground and then pick the chest back up, bringing it to the rest of the gang

[A Drowned Kernel]

I cross the river in the chest

Hope the oxen don't drown

[schadd]

I cross the river in the chest

Hope the oxen don't drown

[4] you put the chest into the stream and hop in. you realize that you hadn't actually thought out very far how you would incur forward motion in this situation. you look back at your two companions inquisitively and they both shrug. you limply throw your arm overboard and attempt to paddle forth but realize that it's like swimming through molasses. that is moving very quickly. over the side of a chest.

"ouch. these darn spikes."

[A Drowned Kernel]

I make another attempt, using the scoundrel as a paddle.

[Roadrunner7671]

I put up a fight. I shall not be a paddle!

[schadd]

I make another attempt, using the scoundrel as a paddle.

[5] you jog over to roadrunner and attempt to pick him up by the legs. you realize that this is not only difficult to do but also not a task suited for someone of your set of skills.

I put up a fight. I shall not be a paddle!

[7] you give him a good palm in the forehead as he is attempting to grab you. he falls on his butt.

[Roadrunner7671]

Who is the strongest out of the three of us? And how strong is the strongest?

[schadd]

Who is the strongest out of the three of us? And how strong is the strongest?

probably you.
kinda strong. you have been occasionally been skipping the gym because of the drugs thing

[Roadrunner7671]

Could we jump over the stream?

[schadd]

Could we jump over the stream?

you can try. it's like 10m wide

[A Drowned Kernel]

You should try using your battleaxe as a paddle.

[Roadrunner7671]

You should try using your battleaxe as a paddle.

The skeleman has a battleax, not me

[A Drowned Kernel]

You should try using your battleaxe as a paddle.

The skeleman has a battleax, not me

You should try using the skeleman's battleax as a paddle.

But ok, what if we tried and used Lalight's summon boulder spell to block the flow of the stream?

[Roadrunner7671]

You're a genius dude

[A Drowned Kernel]

There's no way it can possibly go wrong!

[Roadrunner7671]

I cast boulder!

[schadd]

There's no way it can possibly go wrong!

(it's always sunny theme)

[schadd]

I cast boulder!

[69] you don't cast boulder.

i forgot to switch it from 1-100 to 1-20

[iguanaiguana]

Tag lol

[LaLight]

I cast boulder to block the stream

[schadd]

Tag lol

i hope this is and has been good drunk reading material

I cast boulder to block the stream

[3] you meander over to the mouth of the stream and clumsily cast a somewhat misshapen boulder that falls near the edge of the stream and slowly rolls in. it becomes about halfway submerged in glop and then quickly floats over to the spikes.

[iguanaiguana]

Apply to fall from the sky as a Frensnark Dork'm, with a major in things that go shooty shooty and minor in shoehorning myself as the party leader. Plaggadon curse, Smackatosh blessing. Affinity for adding poison to things and enraging my enemies with racist taunts.

[iguanaiguana]

In the mean time, apply to be a force of nature: Iguana(s) come down from the ceiling

[schadd]

Apply to fall from the sky as a Frensnark Dork'm, with a major in things that go shooty shooty and minor in shoehorning myself as the party leader. Plaggadon curse, Smackatosh blessing. Affinity for adding poison to things and enraging my enemies with racist taunts.

ok

In the mean time, apply to be a force of nature: Iguana(s) come down from the ceiling

[10] three iguanas fall from the ceiling. they all go "beep"

[A Drowned Kernel]

Convince the iguanas to be crewmembers in the chest-ship.

[schadd]

Convince the iguanas to be crewmembers in the chest-ship.

[1] you waltz up to one of them and say "so, i was just cunting about this riv-" and then fall on your face. all of your feppings fall out of your pocket. of course. you sneeze and it sounds like the word genocide

"beep"

[A Drowned Kernel]

I hastily pick up my precious feppings.

Do you guys think we could use some of the liquid to turn the chest into a makeshift airship and float our way across?

[Roadrunner7671]

Schadd what do we do?

[schadd]

I hastily pick up my precious feppings.

Do you guys think we could use some of the liquid to turn the chest into a makeshift airship and float our way across?

[3] you pick up 8 of them and then accidentally force feed 1 to an iguana

"beep"

Schadd what do we do?

idk, try different stuff. there are a few qualities of the goop that remain to be uncovered. it's not a riddle it's just a thing

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to feed some goop to an iguana

[schadd]

I try to feed some goop to an iguana

[3] you take a scoop of some goop in your hand (and get a scoop-goop stack) and you almost lose your balance, again forgetting the viscosity etc. of the goop. you drop like half of it on the way to the iguana and as you reach the iguana, the goop fizzles in your hand.
"wheesk!"
"beep"

[LaLight]

I try to feed some goop to an iguana

[3] you take a scoop of some goop in your hand (and get a scoop-goop stack) and you almost lose your balance, again forgetting the viscosity etc. of the goop. you drop like half of it on the way to the iguana and as you reach the iguana, the goop fizzles in your hand.
"wheesk!"
"beep"

What does the "beep" mean, guys?
What if we try to shout altogether so some rocks will fall into the river and make our way? To prevent us from rocks hit our heads we can stay under the chest

I try to recall what is angerwolf and what does it do

[schadd]

I try to recall what is angerwolf and what does it do

it is a wolf that gets super angry as soon as you summon it. it'll just try to attack anything except it is generally able to discern who the goodguys are. it fizzles away after a minute or so

[A Drowned Kernel]

Is there a reason we can't just swim across? If the goop is dense enough that a boulder floats we should be able to stay afloat pretty easily.

[schadd]

Is there a reason we can't just swim across? If the goop is dense enough that a boulder floats we should be able to stay afloat pretty easily.

cuz you're dumb, that's a reason. the other ones have yet to be uncovered (or debunked!?)

[A Drowned Kernel]

I convince the scoundrel to try swimming across the stream

[Roadrunner7671]

I convince the scoundrel to try swimming across the stream

Nah

Do it yourself

[LaLight]

I convince the scoundrel to try swimming across the stream

I'd try! But I'm a little afraid of skeleman there, he might be dangerous.

[mail-mi]

Actually, /out

[schadd]

Actually, /out

k

[A Drowned Kernel]

Where's your team spirit?

I swim across the stream.

[LaLight]

Got me.

I try to swim across.

[schadd]

Where's your team spirit?

I swim across the stream.

[1] you run and jump and do a belly flop into the stream. you float, face-down, downstream and forget to attempt to swim. after a couple seconds, a layer of goop beneath you evaporates away. "wheesk!" you wobble a little bit before reaching the spikes. one of them goes in your mouth.

Got me.

I try to swim across.

[12] you do a much more convincing run-and-jump and, once you land in the stream, attempt to push your way through. you realize, as people have before you, that it's kind of like swimming in molasses. you are able to sorta swim (or, rather, sorta trudge) through a little bit of the way, but you are abruptly stopped by the spikes and compelled to exit the stream by the same magical force that has compelled everyone that hit the spikes.

[ashersky]

Haven't read, plan to fall out of the sky.

Male glihb, archery, snatura, dabbadoo.

[schadd]

Haven't read, plan to fall out of the sky.

Male glihb, archery, snatura, dabbadoo.

k. you need your minor too, also perhaps an affinity

[A Drowned Kernel]

Scoundrel, use your lighter to check if this goo is flammable.

Also, have we established what the contents of your unlabeled box are?

[Roadrunner7671]

It's a note from my **** counselor

[A Drowned Kernel]

Oh right.

Well how about the fire thing?

[Roadrunner7671]

What fire thing?

[A Drowned Kernel]

Set the river on fire, see what happens.

[Roadrunner7671]

eh...

[Roadrunner7671]

I guess nothing could go wrong
I set the river on fire!

[schadd]

I guess nothing could go wrong
I set the river on fire!

[8] you flip the switch on your lighter to 'en fuego' and then lean over and toss it in.
the whole goopstream is suddenly up in flames, and then, shortly after, evaporates with a loud and cacophonous "wheesk!" the revealed chasm is curved pleasantly enough to be climbable.
roadrunner observes, "well, that makes one thing my dad helped me with."
the boulder rolls downhill, giving rr's lighter a good beating, but the lighter is still alight.
you hear an odd chiming sound, and then a couple "beep"s.
lalight's magick is restored to full.

[Roadrunner7671]

Lit. Thanks for being smart ADK

I see what the skelman is up to

[schadd]

Lit. Thanks for being smart ADK

I see what the skelman is up to

[19] you slide up the chasm, not unlike mary poppins, and then, as you approach the skeleman, you take off your sunglasses (where did those come from?) and say, "hey sugar. what's cookin?"
"uh. um. you can leave, i think, if you say the password"

[A Drowned Kernel]

I seduce the skeleman.

[schadd]

I seduce the skeleman.

[9] you walk up to the skeleman and say "hey there kitty cat. what's someone like you doing in a cave like this?"
he says "that isn't the gay. um i mean password." he is clearly very eager to let all of you leave

[Roadrunner7671]

I sneak up behind him and gently breathe on the back of his neck

[schadd]

I sneak up behind him and gently breathe on the back of his neck

[19] you sneak up behind him, take off another pair of sunglasses, and then let a calm puff of breath out onto the top of the skeleman's spinal cord. the fact that you snuck up so well and also that he doesn't have nerve endings at all means that he completely doesn't notice. or at least he's pretending not to notice.

[Roadrunner7671]

I sneak up behind him and gently breathe on the back of his neck

[19] you sneak up behind him, take off another pair of sunglasses, and then let a calm puff of breath out onto the top of the skeleman's spinal cord. the fact that you snuck up so well and also that he doesn't have nerve endings at all means that he completely doesn't notice. or at least he's pretending not to notice.

Oh yeah. Well, he didn't notice me.

I leave the cave

[schadd]

I sneak up behind him and gently breathe on the back of his neck

[19] you sneak up behind him, take off another pair of sunglasses, and then let a calm puff of breath out onto the top of the skeleman's spinal cord. the fact that you snuck up so well and also that he doesn't have nerve endings at all means that he completely doesn't notice. or at least he's pretending not to notice.

Oh yeah. Well, he didn't notice me.

I leave the cave

[10] there is a doorknob. you turn the doorknob. the door doesn't open
"it's locked," the skeleman say.

[Roadrunner7671]

"Open it please"

[schadd]

"Open it please"

he looks at you, blankly

[Roadrunner7671]

"Open it please"

he looks at you, blankly

I realize he might not speak English and I repeat myself loudly and more slowly. Cause you know, that helps

[ashersky]

Haven't read, plan to fall out of the sky.

Male glihb, archery, snatura, dabbadoo.

k. you need your minor too, also perhaps an affinity

Minor in the sweet talking one, affinity for sparkling water.

[LaLight]

I sneak up behind him and gently breathe on the back of his neck

[19] you sneak up behind him, take off another pair of sunglasses, and then let a calm puff of breath out onto the top of the skeleman's spinal cord. the fact that you snuck up so well and also that he doesn't have nerve endings at all means that he completely doesn't notice. or at least he's pretending not to notice.

Oh yeah. Well, he didn't notice me.

I leave the cave

[10] there is a doorknob. you turn the doorknob. the door doesn't open
"it's locked," the skeleman say.

He speaks english.

Let's try that the sneaky one tries to steal the key while the big and loud one distracts him, guys?

[A Drowned Kernel]

I'm distracting as hard as I can!

Is the password "password"?

[LaLight]

I'm trying to steal the keys while ADK distracts skeleman

[Roadrunner7671]

Isn't the password 'gay?'

[schadd]

I realize he might not speak English and I repeat myself loudly and more slowly. Cause you know, that helps

[3] you accidentally say it the same speed.
he says "no. you, uh. need a.. password," trailing off

I'm distracting as hard as I can!

Is the password "password"?

[2] ...you ask the skeleman, accidentally truncating the first and last word. the skeleman looks back blankly, and then at something else.

I'm trying to steal the keys while ADK distracts skeleman

[15] the skeleman again doesn't notice as you sneakasneak over to him and try to pick off something that looks like a key. it is actually just an obscure bone. he says "ow. quit doin that. i don't have any keys or anything, in fact i'm not even the one who opens the door. i don't want to have to Menacing War Axe you guys, i don't even really know how it works."

Isn't the password 'gay?'

[6] ...you say, barely stifling a chuckle. skeleman nil respondit.

[LaLight]

I ask skeleman politely to break the door with an axe. Offer him some feppings.

[A Drowned Kernel]

How might we find out the password, dearest skeleman?

[schadd]

I ask skeleman politely to break the door with an axe. Offer him some feppings.

he replies "i don't really have any use for feppings and also this thing wouldn't break that thing anyway," pointing at his axe and then the door

How might we find out the password, dearest skeleman?

he looks over your shoulder at the chasm and then replies "you should know it already"

[Roadrunner7671]

Screw this. Is there like a way to initiate combat?

[schadd]

Screw this. Is there like a way to initiate combat?

probably some sort of insult or a hefty punch in the skull would work

[A Drowned Kernel]

Violence isn't the answer!

...or is it?

Is the password "violence"?

[schadd]

Violence isn't the answer!

...or is it?

Is the password "violence"?

skeleman says no

[Roadrunner7671]

Screw this. Is there like a way to initiate combat?

probably some sort of insult or a hefty punch in the skull would work

No like do we do damage based on dice of if I stab him in the throat will he just kick the bucket?

[schadd]

Screw this. Is there like a way to initiate combat?

probably some sort of insult or a hefty punch in the skull would work

No like do we do damage based on dice of if I stab him in the throat will he just kick the bucket?

you can throw out a stab and see what happens. things will rely on dice rolls in the same way they have been. there are no stats

[A Drowned Kernel]

I search the empty streambed for clues to the password.

[Roadrunner7671]

I sit down and cry really loudly and obnoxiously

[schadd]

I search the empty streambed for clues to the password.

[13] you meander over and note the empty chasm. not a single drop of goop left in sight; only memories remain

I sit down and cry really loudly and obnoxiously

[3] you cry somewhat loudly and obnoxiously in such a direction that you are not at all assisted by the room's acoustics. the other folk notice but are more bemused than touched, or whatever

[A Drowned Kernel]

Is the password "wheesk"?

[schadd]

Is the password "wheesk"?

the door flings open, and the skeleton hurriedly ushers the three of you out. the door slams shut behind you, and you hear, faintly, an exhale and the skeleman saying "finally!" shortly after, he opens the door and tosses out the crumpled paper, the mouthwash, the beam swordo, the lighter, and the three iguana, and then he slams the door shut again.


you find yourselves in a small room, lit by two green torches. a small ladder leads up to a trapdoor.

[Roadrunner7671]

Can you draw another pretty picture of it?

[iguanaiguana]

"Beep"

[schadd]

Can you draw another pretty picture of it?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ladder

[Roadrunner7671]

That felt passive aggressive

[schadd]

That felt passive aggressive

as advertised.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I climb the ladder and knock on the trap door. "Anyone up there?"

[LaLight]

I climb the ladder and knock on the trap door. "Anyone up there?"

I take the torch and go with you

[schadd]

I climb the ladder and knock on the trap door. "Anyone up there?"

[20] you do a handstand and then slide up the ladder with your feet. you give the trapdoor a good kick and call out, "anyone up there?"
a voice that sounds nerd'm responds, "oh, ah, yes there is!" and you can hear in ker voice how much ke's been seduced. ke pulls the door open and you fling yourself out, doing a backflip. the stranger introduces kerself as "antax veladre. i'm the mayor of trentown over there. [ke points at a humble village down a short pathway] i was just out picking some bufts. [points at yonder buftbush] say, what was going on in that, uh, trapdoor area? it's been there longer than we have and i've never bothered to look into it."

[schadd]

I climb the ladder and knock on the trap door. "Anyone up there?"

I take the torch and go with you

[3] you slink out and slither along the ground as would a snake. antax notices you and says "oh"

[Roadrunner7671]

<b>I follow them, grinning like an i doot</b>

[schadd]

I follow them, grinning like an i doot

[20] you convince antax quite cleanly that you are an i doot. ke is enthused, and says "oh" again, more contentedly. three pairs of sunglasses shoot off of your face.

[A Drowned Kernel]

"We were being held hostage by some sort of skeleman with very poor taste in suitors. My minions and I were able to escape through a clever series of puzzle solving. Might you escort us to your no doubt lovely village for some refreshments?"

[schadd]

"We were being held hostage by some sort of skeleman with very poor taste in suitors. My minions and I were able to escape through a clever series of puzzle solving. Might you escort us to your no doubt lovely village for some refreshments?"

[6] you say that thing that you said, sorta slowly. antax says "oh" a third time, gravely, and then, sort of nonplussed, leads the several of you over to the town, carrying the buftbasket.
you notice 4 houses, one of them with a large banner than says "general store," and a somewhat larger building that looks like a sort of town hall. antax brings you into the quaint lobby of this town hall and throws a bunch of water bottles on the ground.
   "we have an asston of water bottles, here. it was some big magic mishap, i swear that those, uh, dats are gonna be the ruin of us someday.
   oh, uh, hm. we just found these two envelopes on the ground this morning, and they are both addressed 'to the arriving adventurers.' it seems as though someone was expecting you?"

[A Drowned Kernel]

Open the envelopes!

[LaLight]

Open the envelopes!

Read what's written inside!

[schadd]

Open the envelopes!

you peel open the envelopes, and suddenly, a flash of light! two extra people are standing in the town hall as though they had walked in with you.

iguanaiguana: [16] ke has a somewhat strong knowledge of poisons & their applications, [8] feels slightly less confident yelling racial slurs than most dork'm
inv: 2 feppings in left pocket, equipped with paffgun on a holster, which is loaded by punching it and shoots beams of punch. has a custom slot for poison

ashersky: 17, drinking sparkling water restores hella health and makes the next archery shot do doublewhatever
inv: zode-fearing bow and 20 pleen arrows, both in a neat little quiver-holster on his back. 4 feppings in left pocket.

igu: "what the hell day is it, you, uh, bookfucker?"
antax: "fifth wart on zondria's left tit. how long have you been in there?"
ash: "since the second. i was looking for an herb and then i wasn't, suddenly."
igu: "yeah same"

[schadd]

Open the envelopes!

Read what's written inside!

igu has a note on ker lapel that says "iguanaiguana, the wagonista."

[iguanaiguana]

I introduce myself, ask anyone have if they happened to leave any important items sitting on the floor recently...

[ashersky]

I nod to the others, causing them to be impressed.

[schadd]

I introduce myself, ask anyone have if they happened to leave any important items sitting on the floor recently...

right!? i wasn't gonna say anything


[12] "i'm iguanaiguana. have any of you perhaps left some... rooobooott underpants on the floor?"

I nod to the others, causing them to be impressed.

[14] you give a confident yet restrained nod that makes it seem a bit more like you're in on it, whatever it is

[iguanaiguana]

Is the password "wheesk"?

the door flings open, and the skeleton hurriedly ushers the three of you out. the door slams shut behind you, and you hear, faintly, an exhale and the skeleman saying "finally!" shortly after, he opens the door and tosses out the crumpled paper, the mouthwash, the beam swordo, the lighter, and the three iguana, and then he slams the door shut again.


you find yourselves in a small room, lit by two green torches. a small ladder leads up to a trapdoor.

No one picked any of this up ever so my concern is that it all got left behind.

[Roadrunner7671]

Is the password "wheesk"?

the door flings open, and the skeleton hurriedly ushers the three of you out. the door slams shut behind you, and you hear, faintly, an exhale and the skeleman saying "finally!" shortly after, he opens the door and tosses out the crumpled paper, the mouthwash, the beam swordo, the lighter, and the three iguana, and then he slams the door shut again.


you find yourselves in a small room, lit by two green torches. a small ladder leads up to a trapdoor.

No one picked any of this up ever so my concern is that it all got left behind.

Most of that isn't mine

[schadd]

No one picked any of this up ever so my concern is that it all got left behind.

Most of that isn't mine

it's all still there.

[LaLight]

I return for all this stuff

[iguanaiguana]

I gallantly join the Mast on her mission to retrieve the items, intending to pick up the lighter and keep it for myself.

[schadd]

I return for all this stuff

[14] you say "hold that thought" and then quickly dart back over to the trapdoor and then give the handle a good tug.
oh butts.
it didn't move.

you tug it again, and then it opens. it was just stuck. perhaps antax only opened it without issue because of the strength of seduction.
you hurry down the ladder, grab the three things from the chest, and then run back to the gang. you don't drop them.

I gallantly join the Mast on her mission to retrieve the items, intending to pick up the lighter and keep it for myself.

[5] you follow and wait quietly at the top of trapdoor because you doubt your ability to climb down and up the ladder quick enough to not be a problem. as she swiftly climbs back up, you head down and realize your concerns were justified. you haven't used a ladder in a hot minute.

you grab the lighter and arrive back with the gang and keep them waiting for another, like, minute. you were planning to hide the lighter from rr but you forgot already.

[iguanaiguana]

Oh Antax, where might one put a punch gun to good use around these parts?

[schadd]

Oh Antax, where might one put a punch gun to good use around these parts?

"well, the cave nearby trentown has been rather infested with scrants lately. but, i mean, you guys haven't been introduced to the other uh 9 people that live here. do you want to do that?"

[iguanaiguana]

um OK what are their uh... races exactly?

[LaLight]

Oh Antax, where might one put a punch gun to good use around these parts?

"well, the cave nearby trentown has been rather infested with scrants lately. but, i mean, you guys haven't been introduced to the other uh 9 people that live here. do you want to do that?"

Yeah, course. I wanna meet them.

[schadd]

um OK what are their uh... races exactly?

antax gives you a look

Yeah, course. I wanna meet them.

each of the four houses, by now, has people standing on the porch or front lawn. antax indicates the rightmost as ker own.
  "it's nice. i spend a lot of time decorating it, and i've adventured pretty far to find some of the stuff.
   my neighbor (i guess? there's only four houses here, none of us ever think to refer to each other as neighbors) is trent. he was here before we were—at some point I and a gang of several other people were up to some sort of quest and found these few houses, seemingly abandoned, except for the 2nd one, which housed trent. 5 of us moved here, and the others parted ways. trent has only spoken to us a couple times, but i don't think he minds the company.
  the next house over houses the pinkwaters, blefton and balethia. they have a meager general store for the several times adventurers pass through here, but it's got some neat stuff. the rest of the house forms balethia's massive-ass library.
  and then lastly, the roots. vanesta and root, and their four soulbonded children, the dats. they spend pretty much all their time (and much of our time, unfortunately) learning about the various magical stuff aegence holds. over time, they have accumulated an asston of asstons of random magical stuff, and i'm not sure what most of it is. they give some of it to blefton's shop. i think they're hoping to send the kids to the cartis college, but i would argue that they're overqualified at this point.
  there's also this town hall, here. it was an early project of the dats', about 10 years ago. we don't really have that much use for it as a town hall—we usually just do any town meeting-sorts of things standing out here— but it's our snad church.
  oh yeah, we're all huge snaddites, uh, somehow i forgot to mention that. the roots have always really cared about the dats' safety, of course, and the healing power has been important, and snad himself has helped us with a lot."

trent is sitting quietly, the pinkwaters seem eager to meet you, and the roots seem to have a scholarly interest in your arrival more than anything. it sucks that english does not have a 2nd person plural.

[LaLight]

I'd explore Library and if it's possible drank some alcohol.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I run for mayor.

[schadd]

I'd explore Library and if it's possible drank some alcohol.

[14] you walk up to balethia and say "i'm super interested in that library of yours. could i look at it?"
balethia looks a bit surprised, and says "uh, ok, well.."
she looks over to antax and says "'tax, what do you think of these folks?"
ke replies, "they seem fine."
balethia looks satisfied and says, "alright then, come in. uh, let's go in the side door."
she leads you (singular) in, through the side door. you enter a room that is densely packed with bookcases. there is a small, contiguous path from the entrance to a door that leads to the store, and the rest of the room consists of thin aisles made by the bookshelves. all the aisles on the left side are labeled history, and the other ones are labeled with the several specializations. "magic junk" piques your interest.

there is no alcohol.

[schadd]

I run for mayor.

[4] you look at antax an ask "can i be mayor?"
ke says "no"

[iguanaiguana]

Go to general store.

[Roadrunner7671]

I meet the pinwaters

[LaLight]

I'd explore Library and if it's possible drank some alcohol.

[14] you walk up to balethia and say "i'm super interested in that library of yours. could i look at it?"
balethia looks a bit surprised, and says "uh, ok, well.."
she looks over to antax and says "'tax, what do you think of these folks?"
ke replies, "they seem fine."
balethia looks satisfied and says, "alright then, come in. uh, let's go in the side door."
she leads you (singular) in, through the side door. you enter a room that is densely packed with bookcases. there is a small, contiguous path from the entrance to a door that leads to the store, and the rest of the room consists of thin aisles made by the bookshelves. all the aisles on the left side are labeled history, and the other ones are labeled with the several specializations. "magic junk" piques your interest.

there is no alcohol.

You can write "Thou" for singular =)

[LaLight]

I pick a random book and read it

[schadd]

Go to general store.

I meet the pinwaters

both of you venture toward blefton as balethia leads lalight in.
rr says "can we look at the store and stuff"
blefton replies "sure thing!"

  vous go in and see everything neatly sorted and arranged. the first thing both of you notice is the weapons section. there is a neat little glowing blue dagger, priced "2 fep", a small, pointed metal rod labeled "4 fep, returns when thrown!", a large pleen broadsword with a hook at the top priced "4 fep", and an asphalt-black circlewand priced "18 fep."
  underneath these is a small rack with a bunch of pleen spears and a note that says "1 fep each. enchanted by dats, dunno what they do. it is maybe unique to the user?"
  a cursory glance reveals several other similar sections, with other stuff, and the door that leads to the library.

[schadd]

I pick a random book and read it

[17] you meander over to the magey section, look at balethia and ask "may i?" and she nods. you pull out a random book from one of the shelves and find "the art of kinesis". the introduction states "a few matters of moving stuff, magically. the baseline is a simple gravity manipulation that can be retained with only two fesks, but the more advanced material is much more expensive (in the order of 10), especially once you get to throwing stuff around."
  you recall, from college, that you used most of the fesks that they gave you on the summon boulder spell, and note that 10 seems somewhat cheap for an advanced spell.
  balethia says "i suppose you can take one of them out, at a time."

[LaLight]

I pick a random book and read it

[17] you meander over to the magey section, look at balethia and ask "may i?" and she nods. you pull out a random book from one of the shelves and find "the art of kinesis". the introduction states "a few matters of moving stuff, magically. the baseline is a simple gravity manipulation that can be retained with only two fesks, but the more advanced material is much more expensive (in the order of 10), especially once you get to throwing stuff around."
  you recall, from college, that you used most of the fesks that they gave you on the summon boulder spell, and note that 10 seems somewhat cheap for an advanced spell.
  balethia says "i suppose you can take one of them out, at a time."

What colleague? Who was he? I try to recall my previous life

[schadd]

What colleague? Who was he? I try to recall my previous life

college, not colleague. you attended the southern division of the cartis college, studying offensive magic and music, having moved there from your small hometown of bem, where you studied offensive magic and music.

[ashersky]

I wink at the nearest attractive person.

[schadd]

I wink at the nearest attractive person.

[3] you wink at a nearby squirrel

[ashersky]

I befriend the squirrel, making it my faithful companion and battler.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I go chat with Trent.

[schadd]

I befriend the squirrel, making it my faithful companion and battler.

[7] you softly bumble up to it and say "hey, guy, uh, wanna be my faithful companion and battler?" you can't help but be a little surprised that it hasn't run away yet. you wonder if snatura is paying attention.
  it gives you a look like it's waiting for you to make the next move

[iguanaiguana]

In the store I force myself to inspect all of the wares that are not just weapons.

[schadd]

I go chat with Trent.

[1] you walk up to him, trip up the stairs and then fall on your face. you stand up, lean in close to his rocking chair, and then say, in a mellow speaking voice, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."
  you stop speaking for a few seconds and then say "i heard you don't talk ever. that's bad."
  he looks back at you, expressionless.

In the store I force myself to inspect all of the wares that are not just weapons.

  [17] you grab yourself by the seat of your pants and push yourself through all the other junk.
  there is a section labelled armor that reminds you that, in spite of your warriorly veneer, you are only wearing a t-shirt with a band logo on it and cargo shorts.
  "strange," you think to yourself, "i don't remember fathering any children."
  in the armor section you see:
  -another pair of t-shirt and shorts, labeled "bundle, 6 fep! imbues the wearer with better reflexes and the ability to operate a grill"
  -a comfy looking pleen chainmail, priced "3 fep"
  -an especially lengthy green mage's robe, noted "6 fep, gives you bonuses when you do conjuration stuff"
  -a hat. "0 fep. it is not a good hat"

  there is another section called "a bunch of enchanted necklaces i found. they are all 5 feppings"
  there are 7 necklaces hanging, all with a simple set of beads and a pendant at the bottom. the 7 pendants depict: a sword, a crossbow, a smiley face, a pair of broken eyeglasses, a diseased foot, a question mark, and a backwards question mark.

  across the room, next to the door to the library (which bears the succinct label of "the library; ask balethia!") is a section labelled "stuff from the dats. they just gave me a bunch of little cubes and said that they will benefit a good adventurer. not sure what their deal is, 1fep each"
  there are three stacks of small, glowing cubes; one red, one blue, and one pink.

  there is a small stack of 8 fesks in the corner, labelled "fesks, 10fep each"

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to get the Pinkwaters to really like me

[iguanaiguana]

Ask about the free hat, asking for a friend.

[schadd]

I try to get the Pinkwaters to really like me

[12] you look over at blefton and say "your shop is really cool! i am excited about these things"
  he looks back with his eyebrows raised and a content expression. "hm."
  "and, uh, i haven't been to it yet but the library also seems fantastic and whatever"
  he looks over to the door. you hear balethia, from the other room. "hm."

[schadd]

Ask about the free hat, asking for a friend.

[1] you accidentally ask about how your own butt looks. you indicate it by pointing and say "i've always thought that it's smaller than most people's but lately i've been a little bit more self-conscious. although supposedly it's, like, an ideal quality over in unhingia..."
  blefton looks at you with the same look as he did with rr, but slightly more wide-eyed. "it's fine"

[iguanaiguana]

Ask about the free hat, asking for a friend.

[1] you accidentally ask about how your own butt looks. you indicate it by pointing and say "i've always thought that it's smaller than most people's but lately i've been a little bit more self-conscious. although supposedly it's, like, an ideal quality over in unhingia..."
  blefton looks at you with the same look as he did with rr, but slightly more wide-eyed. "it's fine"

I'm just asking for a friend, I clarify regarding the butt stuff. Then I give my hat question another go.

[schadd]

I'm just asking for a friend, I clarify regarding the butt stuff. Then I give my hat question another go.

[3] "excuse me, this whole time i meant my friend's butt. and, well, at the end of the day, i do really, really like my friend's butt.
  i think i was gonna ask about that hat over there. uh, do you think it would look good on my friend's butt?"
  blefton scrunches his nose and shakes his head. "nah."

[iguanaiguana]

"Is the hat cursed or just useless?" I blurt out, trying not to let my embarrassment get the better of me.

[Roadrunner7671]

I invite the Pinkwaters to their house for dinner/lunch/whatever meal would be appropriate at this time

[ashersky]

I befriend the squirrel, making it my faithful companion and battler.

[7] you softly bumble up to it and say "hey, guy, uh, wanna be my faithful companion and battler?" you can't help but be a little surprised that it hasn't run away yet. you wonder if snatura is paying attention.
  it gives you a look like it's waiting for you to make the next move

I offer the squirrel an acorn, then invite him to hop on my squirrel and travel with me.

[schadd]

I offer the squirrel an acorn, then invite him to hop on my squirrel and travel with me.

try again

[ashersky]

I offer the squirrel an acorn, then invite him to hop on my squirrel and travel with me.

try again

I offer the squirrel a high five, then invite him to hop on my shoulder and travel with me.

[LaLight]

I try to ask people from the village if there is some exit on the surface and if they have any quests for us

[schadd]

"Is the hat cursed or just useless?" I blurt out, trying not to let my embarrassment get the better of me.

[5] "but seriously, what is the deal with this hat? whether i plan to wear it on my butt or my head or uh my friend's butt, i am interested to know whether it's cursed or something."
  blefton says, blankly, "pretty cursed. also ugly"

I invite the Pinkwaters to their house for dinner/lunch/whatever meal would be appropriate at this time

it is the afternoon.
[3] "would you like to prepare a foodlunch for me and us to eat?"
  blefton says "no. we ate"

I offer the squirrel a high five, then invite him to hop on my shoulder and travel with me.

[14] you offer your hand in such a way that it is pretty much unambiguous to the creature that you request a high-five. the squirrel is still somewhat bemused and is not interested in hopping on your shoulder at this time. it does, however, walk somewhat confidently towards you, intentionally brushing its tail against your extended hand.

I try to ask people from the village if there is some exit on the surface and if they have any quests for us

you are currently above ground. that may not have been clear.
[5] you ask balethia, "what sorts of adventurey questy stuff can we do for you?"
  she says "well, uh, we haven't had a book theft in a while, and i'm only halfway through the history ones at the moment. ask antax"
  you bring your book (and also the loot that you still have) outside and ask antax the same question.
  "well, there is a cave nearby that's infested with scrants, as i told the dork'm earlier. there isn't really anything else we urgently need, but i'm sure balethia would appreciate any books you happen to find in your travels and the dats would appreciate, well, anything that seems interesting."

[ashersky]

Loudly ask "does anyone have any food I can offer this squirrel?"

[LaLight]

I try to fing some pub here. Or just the place where I can drink

[iguanaiguana]

I will be back, I tell the shopkeeper, when my ass is not a broke ass.

And against my better racist judgment, I go talk to the roots family since no one else has.

[schadd]

Loudly ask "does anyone have any food I can offer this squirrel?"

[17] you say in a voice, loud enough to be heard by several people but quiet enough to not spook the squirrel, you ask your question. antax replies, "oh, that's biris. you can give him this." and gets a watermelon from inside the town hall and hands it to you. you stare at it for a second and then place it next to the squirrel, by your feet. he produces a barcode scanner and then kicks over the watermelon, revealing a barcode. he scans it.
  "beep."
  biris looks at you, proudly.

I try to fing some pub here. Or just the place where I can drink

[19] you look around the town and somehow, in doing so, you indicate clearly to the townsfolk that you are, in fact, looking for a beerplace. root notices and, intrigued, says to his children, "oh, that gal over there is looking for a bar of some sort."
  you hear a "fzzt!" emerge from the town hall, and when you go in you see that, in the lobby, a large bottle of vodka and some shot glasses appeared on the table. there is also a chunk of wall missing.

I will be back, I tell the shopkeeper, when my ass is not a broke ass.

And against my better racist judgment, I go talk to the roots family since no one else has.

i meant for them to be the steens and for the dad's name to be root but whoops, both of those things are root. so the guy's name is root root. np
[14] you head over to the roots' housery and ask, "hi there. what's been keeping you nerds busy lately?" [snort]
  vanesta gazes off for a couple seconds and then replies "ahoy. well, the last few months we've been doing light manipulation stuff." she turns to the children and says "show."
  all the kids suddenly become invisible, and root turns blue. vanesta looks at you and asks "good?"

[ashersky]

Smile and give a thumbs up at Biris.  Invite him to walk with me.

Go to the bar with LaLight.

[Roadrunner7671]

I'm going to the bar

[iguanaiguana]

very good, I lie. Is your family in need of any magical materials?

After I get my answer I join the others at the bar.

[schadd]

Smile and give a thumbs up at Biris.  Invite him to walk with me.

Go to the bar with LaLight.

[3] you forget to smile, and you lean over and say, oozing saliva, "come with me"
he meanders over to the bar with you. you sit on the ground.

I'm going to the bar

[15] you enter the townhall, quickly fill a shot glass and sit down. in a chair. the vodka tastes like gusk

very good, I lie. Is your family in need of any magical materials?

After I get my answer I join the others at the bar.

[2] "d'ya need some of that maaaaaagic junk, knowmsayin?"
she says "uh, always"
you meander over to the bar and sit on ash's leg.

[ashersky]

Pour shots of vodka for myself and iguana.

[LaLight]

Take the bottle and drink from it

[Roadrunner7671]

I check to make sure this is all free

[iguanaiguana]

Screw this town, let's go kill stuff for feppings.

[LaLight]

Screw this town, let's go kill stuff for feppings.

I'd drink and dance on the tables first and then I agree to go

[iguanaiguana]

Screw this town, let's go kill stuff for feppings.

I'd drink and dance on the tables first and then I agree to go

Well go ahead then 

[schadd]

Pour shots of vodka for myself and iguana.

[12] you get up, fill two shot glasses, and then go sit back down on igu's leg

Take the bottle and drink from it

[13] as soon as ash sets the bottle down, you pick it up and start chugging

I check to make sure this is all free

[16] by the force of willpower, you mentally communicate with the vodka regarding its costliness. it says that it's free, and likes cats

Screw this town, let's go kill stuff for feppings.

[7] you go outside and find a bug and shoot it with your paffgun. it dies. it does not drop any feppings, but it does leave a pile of its guts

[Roadrunner7671]

Dude I want more free vodka

[schadd]

Dude I want more free vodka

[15] you stand there, looking contemplatively at the vodka and wanting it

[McGarnacle]

Looks like the fly killed with the paffgun is not the only one that's blasted.

[Roadrunner7671]

I aggressively lick LaLight's arm

[LaLight]

I dance on the table
Let's go help these people, guys

[iguanaiguana]

Drink

Pick up ADKs body and take him to snark cave.

[schadd]

I aggressively lick LaLight's arm

[20] you snap out of your desire for vodka and then snap into a desire to lick lalight's arm. you suddenly hear the faint hum of smackatosh's zangels.
  you dart over to lalight and lean over.
  suuuuuuuuuuupercriiiiiiit
  she is now coated in saliva.

I dance on the table
Let's go help these people, guys

[2] you definitely fall on your face. you start trying to dance while face down on the ground, and fail. the saliva that is launched in all directions causes the table to magically disassemble, out of disgust.

Drink

Pick up ADKs body and take him to snark cave.

[15] you feel pleasantly buzzed.

  like in the movies, you pick up adk's conscious yet intentionally inactive body and lug it in the direction of the scrant cave. it is pretty close. you see a magical button on the wall next to a sealed door.

[iguanaiguana]

Push the button and wait for the plot to thicken!!!

[schadd]

Push the button and wait for the plot to thicken!!!

[9] foosh.
you hear a voice that sounds as though it's coming from an intercom.
"hello? what do you want?"

[A Drowned Kernel]

I come out of my stupor and demand entrance to whatever thing iguana just dragged me to.

[schadd]

I come out of my stupor and demand entrance to whatever thing iguana just dragged me to.

[3] you almost throw up but don't.
"lemme in"
"uh, no. why? what?"

[A Drowned Kernel]

I seduce the person on the intercom.

[Roadrunner7671]

I follow ADK

[schadd]

I seduce the person on the intercom.

[16] "surely you'll let me... enter your dungeon"
  "uh, i mean, i don't really care, i was just concerned about you guys getting scranted is all. you can go in"
  he sounded a bit seduced.
  the door opens.

  immediately, a scrant pops out.


  "sporting hood-mounted bayonets and tasteful, yet effective combat boots, scrants are the fiend that the experienced adventurer will know the best—and that adventurer will know to look out for its voidtail, said to derive its power from dabbadoo themself"
   -encyclopedia monstratura

it springs into attack! iguanaiguana immediately drops adk onto the ground, and narrowly dodges its initial slice ([13] v [15])

I follow ADK

[10] you walk the, like, 20 steps to arrive at the cave.
  "hey guys, what's going on," you say half of, before realizing that, at this moment, you have combat initiative, or whatever.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I hide behind a rock and cheer my teammates onto victory.

[schadd]

I hide behind a rock and cheer my teammates onto victory.

[1] you accidentally attempt to hide behind the scrant, and cheer it on to success in olympic shot put. it is intrigued, and attempts to throw a thing, really far. it kinda does. you hear a distant whumf.
  the scrant has gained ability to throw things really far from your coaching.

[iguanaiguana]

Paffgun it to death. Yell a few mildly racist taunts

[ashersky]

Cast Hypnotize on the Scrant.

[schadd]

Paffgun it to death. Yell a few mildly racist taunts

[12] vs [11] you somewhat quickly take a shot, well on target. the scrant starts sidestepping the second it notices but is still glanced by the shot.
  one of its hind legs implodes.
  you call it a blundfust. it charges at your leg and gives you a good scratch in the shin.

Cast Hypnotize on the Scrant.

[16] you realize that magic isn't as easy as it seemed on tv. nevertheless, in a spike of ingenuity, you start singing
  "biggie biggie biggie, can't you see? sometimes your words just hypnotize me."
  it looks fatigued.
  igu bashes its skull in with the butt of the paffgun.

  antax notices this and meanders over.
  "oh jeez. that's a moderately-sized shin wound. more where that came from."
  ke stretches out her hands, and you hear a loud whoof. your leg stops hurting and the wound is mostly gone. ke meanders back over to the village.

[iguanaiguana]

Shoot shooty!!!

[Roadrunner7671]

Bash with pleen mace

[schadd]

Shoot shooty!!!

[20] you land a perfectly well aimed and immaculately punched paffshot at the prefrontal cortex of the scrant. it goes from probably-very-dead to okay-it's-super-dead.
  its voidtail ejects a chocolate cake onto the ground, then disappears.

Bash with pleen mace

[8] ppfpblht. some guts come out.

[A Drowned Kernel]

divy out shares of the cake in a fair and equitable manner.

[iguanaiguana]

Push button again

[schadd]

divy out shares of the cake in a fair and equitable manner.

[7] you pick up a nearby pointed stone and roughly cut the cake into fifths.

Push button again

[16] you walk up and push the bhutan.
  "what"
  "i wanted to see what it would do," you say, convincingly
  "..."

[Roadrunner7671]

Awesome

[LaLight]

Where am I and what's going on? I'm a little lost (:

[iguanaiguana]

I thought it was a scrant cave............. is it more of like a scrant appearer with an annoying guy who pushes them out one at a time if you beg him?

[A Drowned Kernel]

I enter the cave.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Also if everyone's here I give them their cake.

[iguanaiguana]

Eat cake.

Have it too.

Go Get everyone else.

[schadd]

Where am I and what's going on? I'm a little lost (:

you are still lying in a puddle of rr's saliva, in the town hall.

I enter the cave.

there is a small room illuminated by two torches. a ladder leads downways.

Also if everyone's here I give them their cake.

you step back out of the cave and hand over a slice of cake to the other three people standing there.

Eat cake.

[17] you eat it in one large bite and then another small bite

Have it too.

fails due to screwton's ninth axiom which states C_eat + C_have = 1

Go Get everyone else.

[2] you attempt to yell out "lalight! yoohoo!" but your voice cracks ten times.

[iguanaiguana]

Enter the cave and bravely down the ladder I go 

[gkrieg13]

I'll Join

I'm a fresnark sneak'm.  Evil magic is what I studied in college, but I was also into archery stuff

blessing of beliespor, curse of plaggadon.  Affinity for other races' histories, but don't know much of my own races' history.

[LaLight]

I'll try to go with igu from the place I'm currently in

[iguanaiguana]

Realize that all the people I'm playing with are wimps [or stoners!], and I'd better start studying hand to hand combat so I can tank'em.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Go down the ladder

[A Drowned Kernel]

Realize that all the people I'm playing with are wimps [or stoners!], and I'd better start studying hand to hand combat so I can tank'em.

Yes, be our meat shield!

[schadd]

Enter the cave and bravely down the ladder I go 

[1] you lean over and bite a rung off of the ladder. it tastes like splinters.

I'll Join

an envelope appears on the ground beside the cave.

I'll try to go with igu from the place I'm currently in

[10] you determine that, in your current state, the ideal method of locomotion is a sort of slither. so, you slither over to the entrance of the cave. at this point, igu has swallowed the rung of the ladder. the three items of loot that you still had this whole time fall out of your pocket.

Realize that all the people I'm playing with are wimps [or stoners!], and I'd better start studying hand to hand combat so I can tank'em.

[16] drat! you think, if only i hadn't eaten that rung of a ladder, i could start using it and build my hand to hand abilities.
  the next best thing that you can think of is breaking off one of the scrant bayonets and affixing it to the end of your paffgun. it will have to do for now.

Go down the ladder

[10] you mind the missing rung and climb down. at the landing, you find another small room lit by two wall torches. no exits are visible other than the ladder you came down.

[ashersky]

Follow folks, but ensure everyone is in front of me (and someone behind me) to keep me safe.

Ask everyone "what exactly are we doing, anyway?"

[schadd]

Follow folks, but ensure everyone is in front of me (and someone behind me) to keep me safe.

Ask everyone "what exactly are we doing, anyway?"

you do both of those things

[A Drowned Kernel]

@ashersky: exploring dungeons, solving puzzles, finding sweet loot, and then apparently leaving all of said loot on the ground behind us.

I examine the walls of the cave for secret doors. I also shout to anyone still at the entrance of the cave that if they happen to notice any envelopes lying on the ground, it would be cool if they opened them.

[Roadrunner7671]

I can go in last place. I also want cake

[iguanaiguana]

Open the envelope

[iguanaiguana]

Pick up the stuff

[schadd]

I examine the walls of the cave for secret doors.

[4] you sort of glare idly at some of the walls. you don't see anything out of the ordinary

I also shout to anyone still at the entrance of the cave that if they happen to notice any envelopes lying on the ground, it would be cool if they opened them.

igu yells back "what was that about an epolevne?"

Open the envelope

enclosed you find a single fepping, which you quickly pocket.

gkrieg walks toward the cave, from the north.
  "where is this? i was walking around and then i sorta lost track of causality, etc."

  gkrieg has a [20] extensive and precise knowledge of the histories and tendencies of every race on aegence. except for the sneak'm, whose name ke often forgets how to say.

   inv: 5 feppings in ker left pocket. an bottomless bag of wet naps in his right pocket. mounted to ker right arm is the drein crossbow, which shoots yesbeams that don't inflict any physical damage, but instead slightly impair the target's attention and restore gkrieg's own magicks. this also is a wand, and, at a somewhat precise angle, a knife.

  learned spells: heat beam (3), pebble launch (∞), appear behind target (1), summon banana peel at target (2); parentheticals indicate how many times you can use the thing before exhausting your magicks.

Pick up the stuff

you now have all of it.

[iguanaiguana]

Try the down ladder again, be careful not to trip.

[gkrieg13]

I'll head down the ladder, but after I'm sure iguana hasn't done something awful to the ladder.

[A Drowned Kernel]

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

[LaLight]

I examine the ladder

[Roadrunner7671]

Follow Iguanaiguana

[gkrieg13]

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

I can't tell if you're actually asking me, or if your character is asking my character and schadd is going to answer.

[ashersky]

Roll need on a legendary dagger.

Look around and see if there are any scary monsters lurking around that we need to attack.

[A Drowned Kernel]

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

I can't tell if you're actually asking me, or if your character is asking my character and schadd is going to answer.

Take control! Don't let that supposed "game master" boss you around!

[schadd]

Try the down ladder again, be careful not to trip.

[11] you step down methodically and join adk.

I'll head down the ladder, but after I'm sure iguana hasn't done something awful to the ladder.

[17] i mean. one might consider eating a rung to be awful but other than that, zip. you head down the ladder, two rungs at a time.

I examine the ladder

[11] it is made out of wood. you are unsure what type of wood. it is aligned pretty well.

Follow Iguanaiguana

[7] you join the two other folks.

Roll need on a legendary dagger.

uh, no

Look around and see if there are any scary monsters lurking around that we need to attack.

[14] there ain't.

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

I can't tell if you're actually asking me, or if your character is asking my character and schadd is going to answer.

Take control! Don't let that supposed "game master" boss you around!

yes. you guys can do your own backstory if you want (except i did lalight's already and maybe someone else also)

[A Drowned Kernel]

Good to know that the ladder is Lawful Good.

I extinguish one of the torches.

[schadd]

Good to know that the ladder is Lawful Good.

I extinguish one of the torches.

with what shall you extinguish it, dear liza, dear liza?

[A Drowned Kernel]

Let's try blowing one out like a candle first.

[A Drowned Kernel]

(I should get a bonus to this because good lung power is required for oratory)

[schadd]

Let's try blowing one out like a candle first.

[4] you give a hefty but somewhat poorly aimed whoosh.
  the torch sconce gets pushed down the wall a little bit.

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to blow it out

[iguanaiguana]

Dudes why are we blowing out the lights?

[Roadrunner7671]

Dudes why are we blowing out the lights?

Because ADK is feeble

[J Reggie]

Mind if I /in?

[J Reggie]

If so I'll be a female everiman, major in music, minor in art history.  Blessing of beliespor, curse of plaggadon.  Affinity for green things and small spaces.  (Did I do this right?)

[A Drowned Kernel]

Dudes why are we blowing out the lights?

I'm puzzle solving through trial and error. Haven't you ever played any Zelda games?

[gkrieg13]

Dudes why are we blowing out the lights?

I'm puzzle solving through trial and error. Haven't you ever played any Zelda games?

Just look for the pattern on the ground and match it

[iguanaiguana]

Is this Zelda or more like Gilligan's Island? I suddenly ask.

Then I try to pry the bottom rung of the ladder off to use as a blunt weapon.

[schadd]

I try to blow it out

[11] the torch disappears and then appears behind you

If so I'll be a female everiman, major in music, minor in art history.  Blessing of beliespor, curse of plaggadon.  Affinity for green things and small spaces.

j reggie also appears behind you.

she has a [16] strong ability to distinguish shades of green and gets bonuses when using green equipment. she also has [1] massive, crippling claustrophobia.

in her left pocket is 7 feppings. attached to her right leg is a rubine dagger. carried on her back is a mandolin, on which she can play the one led zeppelin song and also a lot of other stuff.

at the moment, she is on the floor and very scared. none of her feppings have fallen out of her pocket yet.

Is this Zelda or more like Gilligan's Island? I suddenly ask.

i would say gilligan's island. but keep going

Then I try to pry the bottom rung of the ladder off to use as a blunt weapon.

[19] you break off the bottom rung and also part of the frame, such that you acquire a near-perfectly shaped weapon.

[LaLight]

I try to rejoin with everybody

[A Drowned Kernel]

could we not attempt to disassemble the only apparent means of escaping this pit?

I comfort j Reggie

[gkrieg13]

i try to move the sconce up or down with my hand

[iguanaiguana]

Use the ladder rung to methodically tap the edges of the room and listen for hollow sounds.

[iguanaiguana]

See orator boy I can have a smart idea too??

[J Reggie]

I take out my mandolin and play that one led Zeppelin song to distract myself from being in a cave.

[gkrieg13]

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

I'll get to this when I have some non-mafia forum free time.

[A Drowned Kernel]

See orator boy I can have a smart idea too??

I assume this is said around the splinters in your teeth from when you ate a piece of wood.

[iguanaiguana]

hi, gkrieg! What's your backstory?

I'll get to this when I have some non-mafia forum free time.

Don't worry about it. Backstories are for elves and other such nerd'ms anyway.

[Roadrunner7671]

Can we get drugs?

[iguanaiguana]

Can we get drugs?

Probably you'd be the best at finding them?

[Roadrunner7671]

Look for drugs

[schadd]

I try to rejoin with everybody

[7] you climb down the ladder and bump into one of the three people that are there

I comfort j Reggie

[9] your naturally soothing voice slowly kicks into gear. she gains 3 comfort points, and is visibly less anxious.

i try to move the sconce up or down with my hand

[2] you reach to grab onto it for support when you fell down, just now. it quickly moves to escape your hand. you fall on your shoulder. zowch, if only anyone had chosen healing magics

Use the ladder rung to methodically tap the edges of the room and listen for hollow sounds.

[16] you tap with a fairly standardized amount of force at a decent variety of spots on the wall. nothing sounds especially hollow.

I take out my mandolin and play that one led Zeppelin song to distract myself from being in a cave.

[3] you play it, missing the occasional note. jimmy page would have been interested but not proud, though he does understand how easy it is to miss notes with the mando.
 
  everyone tries to sing the high part that the girl did, so it just sounds like "the ground is rich from tender care, repay, do not forg- ooooooooohh noooooo"

  you succeed in distracting yourself, though.

See orator boy I can have a smart idea too??

I assume this is said around the splinters in your teeth from when you ate a piece of wood.

it actually sounded like avril lavigne's hit song or8r boi

Look for drugs

[3] you find a bunch of bugs, but not drugs. you can't help but be reminded of an especially gloomy day with your guidance counselor.

[ashersky]

Grind up the bugs into a powder which we can dilute with water to make a paste.

Rub the paste on our arms.

[iguanaiguana]

Uh gross why

[A Drowned Kernel]

I decline the bug paste

[schadd]

Grind up the bugs into a powder which we can dilute with water to make a paste.

Rub the paste on our arms.

[18] you collect about 5 bugs and grind them into a paste on the ground. you then rub it on your arms neatly

I decline the bug paste

[10] you are suddenly overcome by a worry that you might accidentally accept the bug paste. it does not happen.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Attempt to communicate with the torches

[Roadrunner7671]

I rub bug face onto my face for war paint

[iguanaiguana]

Inspect torch.

[schadd]

Attempt to communicate with the torches

[9] you recall torchese from your years in college. no ciggie.

I rub bug face onto my face for war paint

[9] pfppphpthppfh. fphpphphpfpfthptfp.

Inspect torch.

[19] careful inspection of the sconces reveals that they do not seem to be physically anchored to the wall, and that the fire produced seems very magicky (perhaps they exude magicks somehow?)

[iguanaiguana]

Try to light the sconces on even more fire withthe druggies lighter

[A Drowned Kernel]

yo magic type folks, get on this shit!

[schadd]

Try to light the sconces on even more fire withthe druggies lighter

[2] you miss and attempt to light the wall on fire. it doth not work.

[LaLight]

Can we have a picture of a place we're in?

[gkrieg13]

I try to just touch the flame

[schadd]

Can we have a picture of a place we're in?

top-down:

I try to just touch the flame

[20] you reach your arm over and perfectly align the flame with the palm of your hand.
  it feels like memories.

[iguanaiguana]

Try to put my head in the flame

lol this may have bad consequences!

[gkrieg13]

follow the torch and see what shape it draws if I keep trying to grab it.

[Roadrunner7671]

Look for secret doors

[iguanaiguana]

Can we have a picture of a place we're in?

top-down:

I try to just touch the flame

[20] you reach your arm over and perfectly align the flame with the palm of your hand.
  it feels like memories.

Looks like the bottom rung of that ladder might be missing!

[schadd]

Try to put my head in the flame

lol this may have bad consequences!

[1] oh, you mean the one from the lighter? comin right up
  iguanaiguana's hair is currently on fire

follow the torch and see what shape it draws if I keep trying to grab it.

[1] oh, you mean the one that iguanaiguana just used to set ker hair on fire?
  gkrieg's hair is currently on fire

Look for secret doors

[13] there doesn't seem to be any. you do note that the bricks on the walls seem a bit too even, as though the room was constructed magically or whatever

[Roadrunner7671]

What exactly is my weapon? Is it a mace? Is it made of steel or iron? Or bronze?

[schadd]

What exactly is my weapon? Is it a mace? Is it made of steel or iron? Or bronze?

it is a mace. it is made out of pleen.

[iguanaiguana]

 Put my hair in the magical fire as an attempt to put out the normal fire.

[Roadrunner7671]

What exactly is my weapon? Is it a mace? Is it made of steel or iron? Or bronze?

it is a mace. it is made out of pleen.

Dude what is pleen?

[A Drowned Kernel]

Convince myself that the walls are just an illusion and attempt to walk straight through them.

[schadd]

Put my hair in the magical fire as an attempt to put out the normal fire.

[6] you lean over and touch the end of your hair to the torch. it feels especially tingly and then it stops feeling tingly because all of your hair is gone.

Convince myself that the walls are just an illusion and attempt to walk straight through them.

[1] you accidentally convince yourself that the walls are buddhists, and you just can't try to walk through them.

[LaLight]

Guys, let's jump together, maybe the floor will fall

[iguanaiguana]

Put my hair in the magical fire as an attempt to put out the normal fire.

[6] you lean over and touch the end of your hair to the torch. it feels especially tingly and then it stops feeling tingly because all of your hair is gone.

Anymore fire on my head still?

[schadd]

Put my hair in the magical fire as an attempt to put out the normal fire.

[6] you lean over and touch the end of your hair to the torch. it feels especially tingly and then it stops feeling tingly because all of your hair is gone.

Anymore fire on my head still?

no

[iguanaiguana]

jump wwhenever LAlight says 3

[Roadrunner7671]

I'm also going to follow LaLight's plan

[A Drowned Kernel]

Whoever has the lighter should try to light the fire on fire.

[iguanaiguana]

Whoever has the lighter should try to light the fire on fire.

I did that. I rolled a 3 and failed, then I rolled a 1 and lit my hair on fire.

I'm kind of wary about trying it again.

[schadd]

Whoever has the lighter should try to light the fire on fire.

I did that. I rolled a 3 and failed, then I rolled a 1 and lit my hair on fire.

I'm kind of wary about trying it again.

i will take this moment to reiterate that i randomize every dice roll impartially. i would suggest that the torch just really hates you

[iguanaiguana]

Whoever has the lighter should try to light the fire on fire.

I did that. I rolled a 3 and failed, then I rolled a 1 and lit my hair on fire.

I'm kind of wary about trying it again.

i will take this moment to reiterate that i randomize every dice roll impartially. i would suggest that the torch just really hates you

Oh I wasn't doubting that or anything.

[iguanaiguana]

Alright here goes:

Bravely and cautiously lift the lighter toward the magical sconce and flip it on, being especially careful not to set myself on fire in any way.

[schadd]

Alright here goes:

Bravely and cautiously lift the lighter toward the magical sconce and flip it on, being especially careful not to set myself on fire in any way.

[15] you quite slowly flip on the lighter and hold it against the torch. it looks like fire on top of a different fire

[J Reggie]

I'll jump with lalight too

[LaLight]

so, on count 3 we all jump, right?

1..
2..

[schadd]

[8] everybody jumps up, reasonably synchronized, and then lands. the room shakes a little bit, and a brick falls off of the ceiling and onto the ground.

[LaLight]

I didn't say 3 btw

Study the brick

[Roadrunner7671]

We should try again! On an 8 we did a thing!

[schadd]

I didn't say 3 btw

Study the brick

[7] it is light and very, very smooth

[iguanaiguana]

Ready to jump at the druggists' command

[gkrieg13]

study the ceiling where the brick came from

[A Drowned Kernel]

Seduce the torches

[schadd]

study the ceiling where the brick came from

[4] there is a spot from which a brick is clearly missing. it is the size of a brick

Seduce the torches

[14] "you're not the only ones packing heat"
  one of the torches flips upside-down

[LaLight]

put the brick on fire

[A Drowned Kernel]

Proceed.

[tripwire]

This is definitely the most amazing of things.

I'd like /in if possible.

I'd like to be an unspecified mahst, major in art history, minor in friendly magic, blessing of snatura, curse of dabbadoo. Affinities for miming and shoes.

[schadd]

put the brick on fire

[2] you meander over to iguana and attempt to take the match out of ker hand. you accidentally grab ker hand and pull it over to the brick. you press the hand against the brick firmly. it doesn't work

Proceed.

[14] you approach the torch with a warm, furtive smile and hands clasped on your belt...
wait i may have misunderstood

[A Drowned Kernel]

Proceed.

[14] you approach the torch with a warm, furtive smile and hands clasped on your belt...
wait i may have misunderstood

No that's what I was going for.

[schadd]

miming and shoes.

tripwire appears, sitting contentedly in the corner of the room. they have a [4] generally poor ability in the pantomiming arts and a [18] vast knowledge and awareness of shoes.

they only know a couple magic spells; art history was really interesting. summon protectogolem (2), heal target consenting adult (∞)

in their left pocket is 6 feppings. attached to their right leg is an ostrapaddle (strikes with the force of all the shame of the razzeneans!)

[schadd]

Proceed.

[14] you approach the torch with a warm, furtive smile and hands clasped on your belt...
wait i may have misunderstood

No that's what I was going for.

...and ask it "where is this night gonna take us, huh?" with the knowledge that it probably doesn't know what time it is.

  the torch respond "ayy babe i don't swing that way. hella flattered tho, real respects real"
  you can't help but feel a bit dejected; that's probably the third item that has turned you down today.

[schadd]

this is a puzzle with a solution. not necessarily this thing, with the torch, but the whole room situation in general

[iguanaiguana]

Major in art history feels like maybe a bad call....

[iguanaiguana]

Ask the sconce for a hint

[gkrieg13]

Maybe we just need to corner the torches so they touch each other

[Roadrunner7671]

Okay jump

[schadd]

Ask the sconce for a hint

"i mean, we're interesting but we can't be that interesting"

Okay jump

[14] alley oop, alley doop. the two of you land with a thud.

  the brick goes back up into the ceiling.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Maybe we just need to corner the torches so they touch each other

Coordinate the group to do that thing.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Oh better idea.

Move the ladder and see if the entrance hole also shifts.

[tripwire]

I draw upon my vast knowledge of art history

[tripwire]

anybody think anything from the store might help here?

[A Drowned Kernel]

anybody think anything from the store might help here?

You're right, why aren't the villagers down here helping us?

[schadd]

Oh better idea.

Move the ladder and see if the entrance hole also shifts.

[6] you encounter a problem during the move the ladder step. the ladder is v difficult to move

I draw upon my vast knowledge of art history

[18] you remember the tale of graeon, wherein the famous soldiers of ghe were trapped in a room with two green torches and a ladder. egads, if only you had been paying attention during those lectures!
  oh wait, you were. eventually they said "open sesame" to the torches and then a big opening appeared. how quaint.

[Roadrunner7671]

I'm not going to steal your moment tripwire

[tripwire]

Ha, I knew my education was worth more than just smugly serving coffee at Starbucks!

I say "open sesame" and then push Roadrunner through the opening out of fear of what's on the other side

[schadd]

Ha, I knew my education was worth more than just smugly serving coffee at Starbucks!

I say "open sesame" and then push Roadrunner through the opening out of fear of what's on the other side

the torch says "ay yo you guys are a great crowd. really. but this is sort of making me uncomfortable."
there is no opening. seems as though the soldiers were in a different room than this one.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Someone help me move this ladder.

[tripwire]

I push Roadrunner anyway

[A Drowned Kernel]

Woah cool it on the PvP!

[gkrieg13]

i help ADK

[tripwire]

I'll actually be productive and help ADK as well

[Roadrunner7671]

You wamna go m8?

[iguanaiguana]

Look around for something interesting that isn't torches

[LaLight]

I think it has something to do with this brick

Examine the brick closely Is something written on it? What does it consist of? Try to put it on fire again.

[ashersky]

ashersky: 17, drinking sparkling water restores hella health and makes the next archery shot do doublewhatever
inv: zode-fearing bow and 20 pleen arrows, both in a neat little quiver-holster on his back. 4 feppings in left pocket.

Drink some sparkling water and shoot an arrow at the hole in the ceiling where the brick fell from.

[iguanaiguana]

I think it has something to do with this brick

Examine the brick closely Is something written on it? What does it consist of? Try to put it on fire again.

When Roadrunner and I jumped a second time, the brick went back up into the ceiling : /

[LaLight]

I think it has something to do with this brick

Examine the brick closely Is something written on it? What does it consist of? Try to put it on fire again.

When Roadrunner and I jumped a second time, the brick went back up into the ceiling : /

Oh, I didn't see it

Jump the third time

[iguanaiguana]

I think it has something to do with this brick

Examine the brick closely Is something written on it? What does it consist of? Try to put it on fire again.

When Roadrunner and I jumped a second time, the brick went back up into the ceiling : /

Oh, I didn't see it

Jump the third time

Join the chaotic jumping!!

[LaLight]

jump until something happens

[A Drowned Kernel]

Someone help me move this ladder.

[Roadrunner7671]

Jump jump jump

[schadd]

i help ADK

I'll actually be productive and help ADK as well

[4] you all give it a somewhat wimpy shove. it starts glowing pink a little bit; gkrieg recognizes this to be the result of a location-binding spell

Look around for something interesting that isn't torches

[6] the ladder looks pretty neat. it's glowing pink at the moment. oh, but now it's not

Drink some sparkling water

you don't have any

shoot an arrow at the hole in the ceiling where the brick fell from.

[11] well, the brick is back there now. but you shoot one of the arrows, it hits the brick pretty close to dead-on, and then it bounces off and then lands on the floor.

Join the chaotic jumping!!

jump until something happens

Jump jump jump

you three start jumping. nothing interesting has happened yet, but i'll be sure to tell you if that changes

[A Drowned Kernel]

Dispel magic

[schadd]

Dispel magic

the word magic decays back into its letters. that might be an issue for other people

[J Reggie]

I have an idea.

Climb up the ladder and out of the cave.

[schadd]

I have an idea.

Climb up the ladder and out of the cave.

[6] you emerge into this room. it is different than the one from which your compatriots came in. you are currently in the dark, and narrowly avoid the notice of yonder scrant.

[Roadrunner7671]

Definitely follow J Reggie. I need a change of scenery

[tripwire]

I also climb up the ladder and try to determine what kind of shoes the scrant is wearing

[iguanaiguana]

Up ladder, paffgun the scrant.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Move in and out of the entrance several times in rapid succession

[iguanaiguana]

Your gonna get sliced in half!

[A Drowned Kernel]

Your gonna get sliced in half!

That's a risk I'm willing to take for the day of science!

[gkrieg13]

ill stay down for the moment

[LaLight]

can I take the torch?

If yes I take the torch and follow the others

[schadd]

Definitely follow J Reggie. I need a change of scenery

[16] up the ladder you go, and, perfectly unnoticed, you squat next to j r.

I also climb up the ladder and try to determine what kind of shoes the scrant is wearing

[19] you head on up and stealthily determine: docmartens, frensnark size 3. purchased within a week ago. the scrant is clearly trying to flaunt them.

Up ladder, paffgun the scrant.

[12] you hustle up the ladder, place yourself at a reasonable firing position, give the paffgun a good punch, and give the scrant a good paff in the side of the head. it is briefly disoriented, and slightly injured.

Move in and out of the entrance several times in rapid succession

[11] you climb up the ladder, and then down. you find yourself in an identical room, with two green torches, except with neither any of your compatriots, nor signs that they had been there. you go back up, find yourself in the entrance, and then sit aside so you can settle all of this nausea you suddenly have.
  "bleeeaaragh"

ill stay down for the moment

[12] it resolves.

can I take the torch?If yes I take the torch and follow the others

[3] you limply grasp for one of the torches. it darts back, and decides not to say anything; its position has already been stated.

[tripwire]

I compliment the scrant on his sense of style

[A Drowned Kernel]

once my nausea settles, in and out once again.

[schadd]

I compliment the scrant on his sense of style

[2] you say, kinda loudly, "those boots are uh good kinda. i bet that if your mom bought them, you have a good mom"
the scrant's disorientedness is unaffected. it also does not gain any goodwill towards you.

once my nausea settles, in and out once again.

[4] you slightly misjudge the amount of time that it would take you to regain your senses, and shortly after you enter the new caveplace, you dry heave a little bit.

[iguanaiguana]

Shooty Shooty Shooty Shooty

[ashersky]

go up the ladder, shoot the Scranton with an arrow

[schadd]

Shooty Shooty Shooty Shooty

[19] before the scrant undisorients itself, you get another two shots off, each right in the cranium. it looks pretty dead now, probably

go up the ladder, shoot the Scranton with an arrow

[8] you climb up and then quickly nock and shoot an arrow at the already quickly deceasing scrant. it goes through the edge of the scrant's torso. the scrant does not react to being shot, again probably because of deadness

[iguanaiguana]

Try to approach the scrant and bayonet it with the blade I attached to my paffgun.

If I do,  try to search the body for feppings.

If I do, try to level up.

If I do, shout a racist slur to celebrate my victory. 

[LaLight]

catch up with everyone and search the body with igu

[Roadrunner7671]

Am I the scrant? 

[A Drowned Kernel]

Claim credit for my bold leadership leading us to victory.

[schadd]

Try to approach the scrant and bayonet it with the blade I attached to my paffgun.

If I do,  try to search the body for feppings.

If I do, try to level up.

If I do, shout a racist slur to celebrate my victory. 

[20] you successfully approach the scrant and supercrit it. its guts splatter into a distant blackness, and do not make any sound of impact.

[3] even if there were a body to search, you probably wouldn't find anything.

[16] you do some sort of muscular strain, and realize that you've never levelled up before. evidence does not support a claim that that is a thing that people do.

catch up with everyone and search the body with igu

[11] "hey guys, sounded like some combat victo- oh"

Claim credit for my bold leadership leading us to victory.

[5] "alright, guys, nice job and stuff. my bold leadership lead us to victory, or whatever"

Am I the scrant? 

no

[Roadrunner7671]

Woah what did I miss

[schadd]

Woah what did I miss

it's all there bub

[Roadrunner7671]

Woah what did I miss

it's all there bub

Do I know how to read?

[A Drowned Kernel]

Bravely lead the group further into the cavern.

[schadd]

Woah what did I miss

it's all there bub

Do I know how to read?

canonically, no. irl, no.

Bravely lead the group further into the cavern.

[13] "follow me," you say somewhat authoritatively. no one has any desire to follow you.
  you walk in a straight line, stepping over the smoldering crater of the scrant. you walk for another moment, then you realize that at some point you make the transition from walking forward to climbing a ladder—though you couldn't be asked when or how. when you reach the top of the ladder, you greet your compatriots, standing at the mouth of the cavern.

[schadd]

suddenly, a grame appears in the shade, close to the ladder. or was he there the whole time?
  "light system's up," he says, in a gruff new york accent. "you can use this light switch here"
  he points to a dimly glowing blue light switch attached to the wall, with top and bottom labelled "off" and "yes." it is currently set to off. he then trundles off.

[ashersky]

Tell RR to flip the switch.

[gkrieg13]

I'll join the others, wherever they are

[tripwire]

I follow the grame

[Roadrunner7671]

I flip the switch like a son of a moat

[iguanaiguana]

Yes!

[schadd]

I'll join the others, wherever they are

[13] you climb up the ladder and join the ranks of your comrades.

I follow the grame

[15] you head with him down to the (currently) dark area. he immediately pivots around, gets in your face and asks "why you followin me?"

I flip the switch like a son of a moat

[19] you flip the switch without looking at it. there is a loud, surround-sound voice that says "yeah!" and a single confetti falls from the ceiling. a bunch of lights spring on, and there is a big wall where adk would have ostensibly walked, with the word "puzzle" painted on it in large, lime green letters. on the left side of that wall is a small door that says "there are 5 scrants behind this door and they are probably pretty pissed—both the british kind and the american kind."

Yes!

[A Drowned Kernel]

I open the door the tiniest, bittiest crack and peek through.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Wait, did the door just talk to us?

Scratch that, I seduce the door.

[schadd]

Wait, did the door just talk to us?

Scratch that, I seduce the door.

i meant to specify that it says that in, like, painted letters somewhere
[7] you go up to the door and say "wood. winky face." the door is not seduced

[tripwire]

I follow the grame

[15] you head with him down to the (currently) dark area. he immediately pivots around, gets in your face and asks "why you followin me?"

I respond "Thinking about you alone here in the dark in a scrant cave seemed pretty lonely. I thought you might like a friend."

[A Drowned Kernel]

I open the door the tiniest, bittiest crack and peek through.

[iguanaiguana]

Inspect the puzzle.

I don't trust my so far decent luck with scrants to hold for the next five times.

[Roadrunner7671]

Solve the puzzle

[J Reggie]

use my powers of green things to help with the puzzle

[iguanaiguana]

use my powers of green things to help with the puzzle

Nice!

[schadd]

I follow the grame

[15] you head with him down to the (currently) dark area. he immediately pivots around, gets in your face and asks "why you followin me?"

I respond "Thinking about you alone here in the dark in a scrant cave seemed pretty lonely. I thought you might like a friend."

he replies "uns', i'm just the guy installin the light system." and keeps walking.

I open the door the tiniest, bittiest crack and peek through.

[13] you quietly walk up and crack open the door, an appropriately small amount.
  oh. it's dark in there.

Inspect the puzzle.

I don't trust my so far decent luck with scrants to hold for the next five times.

[12] you walk up and look at it. it doesn't especially look like a puzzle, it looks like a wall with the word puzzle painted on it. you reach out and try to poke it; your finger goes through. it feels like memories.

Solve the puzzle

[10] a little spot on the ceiling opens up. a bunch of water falls on your head. the surround sound says "your search history is being monitored to optimize the ads given to you. to opt out, please go to our russian.." and then there is a second of static, and then silence.

use my powers of green things to help with the puzzle

[19] the paint in the word 'puzzle' contains a very small amount of green paint mixed in. you are impressed with yourself for determining this but you are not sure what to make of it.

use my powers of green things to help with the puzzle

Nice!

[iguanaiguana]

Dope, walk through the memories wall, trying hard not to remember anything because you are a macho Dork'm tank.

[A Drowned Kernel]

Try to smell if there are any scrants in the darkness beyond.

[schadd]

Dope, walk through the memories wall, trying hard not to remember anything because you are a macho Dork'm tank.

[5] you walk through. as you walk, you remember very little, and you attempt to record little memory. well, that means that you arrive at the top of the ladder without really remembering anything. it probably involved the color grey?

Try to smell if there are any scrants in the darkness beyond.

[11] it smells like whiskey. so, probably yes.

[Roadrunner7671]

I walk through the memory wall and try very hard to not think of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

[A Drowned Kernel]

Lure a scrant through the door way, then flip the switch while it's halfway through, so that it gets cut in half.

[schadd]

I walk through the memory wall and try very hard to not think of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

[17] you walk through the wall and successfully don't think about the stay puft marshmallow man. you emerge at the top of the ladder and congratulate yourself.

Lure a scrant through the door way, then flip the switch while it's halfway through, so that it gets cut in half.

i'm not sure the light switch has that functionality

[A Drowned Kernel]

I was under the impression that the switch caused the wall to disappear and reappear.

Walk backwards through the wall.

[schadd]

I was under the impression that the switch caused the wall to disappear and reappear.

Walk backwards through the wall.

you emerge from the ladder, spinning really fast. fortunately there is not any more barfing left to be had for you

[A Drowned Kernel]

Rally the troops to face off against these no-good scrants. "Come on, boys (and girls and kers), they're drunk, this should be easy!"

[gkrieg13]

attack the memories

[A Drowned Kernel]

Can we all run faster than scrants? Maybe we can entice them to chase us through the door, then we use wall portal to loop behind them, then rush in the door and bar it against them.

[iguanaiguana]

Join ADK for uh whatever.

[tripwire]

rally with ADK and iguana for the whatever

[LaLight]

whatever is cool, run with everybody
Also I can summon an angrywolf to distract Scrants, guys

[schadd]

Rally the troops to face off against these no-good scrants. "Come on, boys (and girls and kers), they're drunk, this should be easy!"

[19] you yell that thing quite loudly and leaderly, and you catch yourself at the end of the parenthetical for not including the most common gender identity in aegence, unspecified.
  a scrant wearing glasses peeks out of the door and says "hey, could you, uh, keep it down? we're having a book club meeting in there. i thought i told them to put a sign on the door—doesn't it say that there are scrants in there?"

attack the memories

[17] you charge angrily into the puzzlezone with a convincing battle cry and attempt to swipe memories out of the air with the knifey part of the crossbow. it is unclear whether it works, but you remain in the place for a solid minute before you remember that you are in fact standing at the top of the ladder. you stop swinging the crossbow around before it's a problem. the scrant is visibly annoyed.

Can we all run faster than scrants?

why do you think they all wear designer boots

Join ADK for uh whatever.

rally with ADK and iguana for the whatever

whatever is cool, run with everybody
Also I can summon an angrywolf to distract Scrants, guys

  you all run up and start yelling but then stop doing those two things when the scrant started talking

[A Drowned Kernel]

Ask the scrants how they can read in the dark.

[J Reggie]

Aw now I'm sad we killed that scrant.

[schadd]

Ask the scrants how they can read in the dark.

[3]  you ask the one scrant "how do you, uh, read in spite of the dark that is there"
  "how do you guys read in this blinding light?" they say, lifting one of their arms and covering their eyes

[J Reggie]

ask what the scrants are reading.

[LaLight]

ask scrants if they have any tasks for us

[schadd]

ask what the scrants are reading.

[14] "may i ask what you guys are reading?"
  the scrant replies "uff. we have a lot of history to get through. it's compelling but grueling, like a maze full of horpies"

ask scrants if they have any tasks for us

[19] "have you any quests that adventurers like us might serve you in completing?"
  "well, your first one is to heck off. we're reading. your second one is to maybe clear out the town nearby the hoitcave. there have been a bunch of bipeds that colonized there a while ago and they've been stirring up a ruckus. it seems like they're sneddites but we're not sure."

[LaLight]

ask what the scrants are reading.

[14] "may i ask what you guys are reading?"
  the scrant replies "uff. we have a lot of history to get through. it's compelling but grueling, like a maze full of horpies"

ask scrants if they have any tasks for us

[19] "have you any quests that adventurers like us might serve you in completing?"
  "well, your first one is to heck off. we're reading. your second one is to maybe clear out the town nearby the hoitcave. there have been a bunch of bipeds that colonized there a while ago and they've been stirring up a ruckus. it seems like they're sneddites but we're not sure."

tell us more about this creatures, so we can help you, wise beings

[ashersky]

I wake up from daydreaming and look around, noticing stuff.

[Roadrunner7671]

I ask the scrants if they can teach me how to read

[schadd]

tell us more about this creatures, so we can help you, wise beings

[9] you say that thing
  "we sort of haven't really paid much attention to them. i think one of them had a supersick library that we would like to have"

I wake up from daydreaming and look around, noticing stuff.

[6] you notice that the walls have probably been recently painted. but not too recently

I ask the scrants if they can teach me how to read

[13] you say that thing in an especially convincing tone
  "no. unless you want to read in dvorak, which is a pain and we all figured out the hard way that it isn't actually any better than standard aegese"

  the scrant then returns to the room, saying "you guys are kinda gooj"

[A Drowned Kernel]

Knock on the door, and ask the scrants on specifics regarding the alleged ruckus that the villagers are raising.

[Roadrunner7671]

I try to get them to join our merry band

[J Reggie]

We're all just too nice.

[LaLight]

ask if there's anything to drink and celebrate smth with my fellow friends/scrants

[schadd]

Knock on the door, and ask the scrants on specifics regarding the alleged ruckus that the villagers are raising.

[20] you knock on the door and it sounds like money. you hear the sound of scrants weeping because of the majesty. you peer in, and, in spite of the disarming absence of light, you radiate suaveness across the room. you realize that you can't see any of the scrants, but then decide that such does not matter to the true artist. you inquire lightly about what the villagers have been doing.
  the familiar scrant replies "buh, uhh, they, uh, have been kinda encroaching on our cave a lot and i think they're stealing some of our books. and they kill some of the feral scrants that like to hang around the entrance but that's no biggie. i have a little bit of a reason to believe they're sneddites, but what can you do. it's an epidemic. they're not our biggest concern, i guess"

I try to get them to join our merry band

[18] you peer in next to adk and ask if any of the scrants would like to join your merry band. you jive on the radiation of adk's previous statement, and the way you say "merry" is quite convincing as to the merry nature of your band.
  "well, i mean, suddenly i'm turning back on my assessment of your collective goojness. but still, we are committed to the scholarly arts at the moment. if you bring us some sort of enchantment of speedreading or, uh, just come back in like 5 years, we'll probably be able to spare someone. but not now."

ask if there's anything to drink and celebrate smth with my fellow friends/scrants

[1] you slink in the room, through adk's legs. unsuccessfully attempting to stifle a loud cackle, you yell out the word "booze!?" in a way that sounds a tad more like a boisterous statement than a question.
  "uh, we need all of our whiskey"

[A Drowned Kernel]

There must be a way to mediate a peace between the scrants in the villagers. Unless the rest of the party wants to go for the Genocide Ending?

[schadd]

oooh

[Roadrunner7671]

We could take the scrants honestly

[A Drowned Kernel]

Also what's with all the anti-sneddite rhetoric? Surely such well educated scrants as yourselves understand that the roots of religious fundamentalism lie in economic oppression and must be addressed in that context.

[schadd]

Also what's with all the anti-sneddite rhetoric? Surely such well educated scrants as yourselves understand that the roots of religious fundamentalism lie in economic oppression and must be addressed in that context.

you hear a gruff voice, from the back of the room chuckle and say "never seen anyone brained, then?"

[A Drowned Kernel]

Also what's with all the anti-sneddite rhetoric? Surely such well educated scrants as yourselves understand that the roots of religious fundamentalism lie in economic oppression and must be addressed in that context.

you hear a gruff voice, from the back of the room chuckle and say "never seen anyone brained, then?"

I've seen things like you scrants wouldn't believe.

[schadd]

I've seen things like you scrants wouldn't believe.

"oh, no, we believe stuff. we're reading history after all. but i think most folk would agree that you trust sneddites too much, and that's a super easy way to get killed."

[A Drowned Kernel]

Would anything in my own personal history lead me to believe that this distrust of Sneddites is justified? Am I familiar with the ideology?

[Roadrunner7671]

Why are we wasting time for them. We're either going to bash their heads in or leave.

Please roll a D20. If it's 10 or below we're beating them up



ok

Rolled 1d20 : 6, total 6

[A Drowned Kernel]

Sir, we don't have to resort to violence! There's a better way!

[schadd]

Would anything in my own personal history lead me to believe that this distrust of Sneddites is justified? Am I familiar with the ideology?

uh, let's say no. you can learn it diegetically

[Roadrunner7671]

I want to make sure there are more people in the game besides me and ADK before we try and take down a bunch of scrants.

[A Drowned Kernel]

I'll support my allies if it comes to a battle but I won't be the one to make the first aggressive move.

[LaLight]

I'll support my allies if it comes to a battle but I won't be the one to make the first aggressive move.

[J Reggie]

I'll support my allies if it comes to a battle but I won't be the one to make the first aggressive move.

[ashersky]

I'll not join in the fight.

[gkrieg13]

I'll not join in the fight.

[Roadrunner7671]

OMG. Then why don't you guys do something else?

[J Reggie]

climb back down the ladder

[gkrieg13]

Have J Reggie watch down the ladder as I go through the memories

[ashersky]

Give RR a high five.

[schadd]

climb back down the ladder

[18] you hastily slip down into the secondary room

Have J Reggie watch down the ladder as I go through the memories

[2] about 10 seconds after j reggie heads down the ladder, you turn and say "hey, j reggie, could you- oh" and then walk into the wall and pop out of the ladder

Give RR a high five.

[14] you go over and high-five roadrunner. he is not startled, and some of his bloodlust fades

[A Drowned Kernel]

I go back to engage the villagers in casual conversation, subtly sneaking in references to snedditeism to gauge their reactions.

[tripwire]

I ask the scrants, "Is there anything we could do to demonstrate that the neighboring villagers are trustworthy?"

[gkrieg13]

Have J Reggie watch down the ladder as I  walk through the wall again

[schadd]

I go back to engage the villagers in casual conversation, subtly sneaking in references to snedditeism to gauge their reactions.

[5] you go down the ladder, back up, then briefly stop to regain your bearings. you then meander back to trentown. antax is standing by a different buftbush, looking at it but not picking any bufts. ke looks at you and asks "did you guys clear the cave?"
  you respond "no, uh, we're working on it."
  ke looks at you for a second and says "ok"

  blast, you say to yourself, i forgot to sneak in any references to their sneddism just then.

I ask the scrants, "Is there anything we could do to demonstrate that the neighboring villagers are trustworthy?"

[10] you ask that thing.
  the gravelly scrant says "it's kind of an unfortunate situation. although it's a bit redundant with their mained blessing, sneddites are really good at deception like that. we have observed a couple things that give the impression but that's the most of it."

Have J Reggie watch down the ladder as I  walk through the wall again

[6] you yell over to j reggie to watch down the ladder. the response you hear sounds like "go down the ladder? oot eem ngniksah ooee raa" and the part that you recognize sounds weird and distorted

[A Drowned Kernel]

Spy on the villagers and look for evidence of snedditeism.

[LaLight]

I try to win the game with Schadd in Dominion Tournament

[schadd]

Spy on the villagers and look for evidence of snedditeism.

[11] you sneakily stealth into the buftbush while antax is picking bufts. you think you hear ker saying "sned" but you then realize that it was bread, as ke starts elaborating, to kerself, all of the different things one can do with bread.
  "yeah, i should, like, toast some bread. or eat the bread, without toasting it. or put it on the ground and look at the bread"
  this is really boring to do

I try to win the game with Schadd in Dominion Tournament

[17] you go for university to gain tournaments and it works

[A Drowned Kernel]

Burst out of the bushes dramatically and ask ker point blank if ke's a sneddite, and if so, to explain what exactly that means.

[schadd]

Burst out of the bushes dramatically and ask ker point blank if ke's a sneddite, and if so, to explain what exactly that means.

[5] you slither undramatically out of the bottom of the bush and ask "are you a sneddite and what are those?"
  antax laughs surprisedly and says "jeez, what? i said we were snaddites. don't just say that to people. no, snad is the Good god, and they do a bunch of healing-y stuff; that's what our mained blessings are. sned is their weird and really awful sibling-sorta thing. sneddites, uh, can rip brains out, really fast, and are good at manipulating people and whatever."

[A Drowned Kernel]

Try to determine if ke's manipulating me.

[iguanaiguana]

Wake up from short coma, look for something appropriate to kill.

[schadd]

Try to determine if ke's manipulating me.

[18] you tap into the manipulation center of your brain, and you don't feel very manipulated at all.
  maybe you're just bad

Wake up from short coma, look for something appropriate to kill.

[4] you meander over to a nearby tree and start punching it. to heckles with the environment! you say

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

1.what is this 2.BASEBALLLLL FFFOOORRR LLLLIFFFEEEE GOOOO CUUUBBBSS GOOOO

[A Drowned Kernel]

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

Organize peace talks between the scrants and the villagers.

[iguanaiguana]

Try to recall the driving motivations of my life right now.

[Roadrunner7671]

Try to recall the driving motivations of my life right now.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Will someone please tell me what this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Roadrunner7671]

Will someone please tell me what this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

See here: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=16245.0

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Will someone please tell me what this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

See here: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=16245.0

That doesnt make sense

[Roadrunner7671]

Will someone please tell me what this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

See here: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=16245.0

That doesnt make sense

Oh well

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Will someone please tell me what this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

See here: http://forum.dominionstrategy.com/index.php?topic=16245.0

That doesnt make sense

yo explain it dude

Oh well

[Roadrunner7671]

Read the opening post or something

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Read the opening post or something

Thanks for no help RR

[Roadrunner7671]

Read the opening post or something

Thanks for no help RR

Fine, here:


welcome to the dnd that is my one!
   -there are very few rules in comparison to the real kind, everything is gonna be qualitative instead of quantitative (e.g. that goblin looks super almost dead and has a bunch of gashes on her face, rather than that goblin has 2 hp left or whatever)


   -anything goes, which is to say, you can have your character attempt to do anything and the success is determined by a dice roll, put in the context of how likely it would have been to begin with (i.e. something like 'become a god' has, like, no chance of success even with like 3 consecutive 20s).


   -dice rolls won't be "this will work with a roll of n or higher," rather, i decide some outcome that is somewhere between catastrophically clumsy (1) and immaculately executed (20).


   -there will be a somewhat loosely observed map, inventory, and increasing skillset.


   -i will use random.org 1-20 for dice rolls, and attempt to use dice rolls for as many things as possible


expect it to be low commitment, fairly long-term, and super dumb and maybe lightly offensive

current players:
1. roadrunner
2. lalight
3. adk

in the near future, you can send me an application to fall from the sky and join the fray. if you want to interact but don't feel the need to join, you can apply to be a force of nature (e.g. make there suddenly be a bunch of wind flowing west)
to join, choose a race, gender, specialization, blessing, curse, and other thing:
races:
  *everiman: no distinguishing characteristics, really, tends to be somewhat physically strong and socially competent
  *dork'm: really scrunched-up orc face, brutish, good at hand-to-hand combat and stuff, super racist
  *dank elf: affinity for drugs
  *nerd'm: generally seem to have an aloof and pretentious expression, good at magic and arithmetic, often get punched in the face
  *joht: have a very wide assortment of random skills, fun at parties, emotionally repressed
  *sneak'm: sneaky, good at archery and stuff, tend to notice when people's flies are unzipped but don't say anything
  *mahst: a weird ghosty sorta thing that have an affinity for any weird mystical type stuff. they usually avoid eye contact
  *glihb: universally attractive and personable. i heard they have a girlfriend that goes to a different school


genders:
  *male
  *female
  *frensnark
  *unspecified


specialization/area of study: choose major and minor
  *sword combat, hand weaponry of all shapes and sizes except for the really weird ones that were elective courses
  *archery, crossbows, that that go shooty-shooty
  *sneakin around
  *magic - the friendly ones like healing and armor and stuff
  *magic - the eeeeevil ones like fire and being able to yell really loud
  *music, bardsmanship, generally strong manual dexterity and some affinity for drugs also
  *speechcraft, smooth-talking, politics, shoehorning yourself as the party leader and stuff
  *art history, which should, uh, occasionally be useful
(note: this and also sorta the race are non-binding, and if you are for some reason captivated by the desire to learn a new skill you can expect to pick it up eventually)


blessing (often given the opportunity to change, diegetically)
  *of smackatosh: original rolls of 20 on a combat thing result in a suuuuuper crit
  *of snatura: whenever you help a person, this deity summons for you a friendlus dop for some amount of minutes
  *of beliespor: you can do a really fast sprint thing but it makes you nauseous


curses (ibid.)
  *of plaggadon: original rolls of 10 or 12 on speech replace one of the nouns that you use with 'robot underpantsssss'
  *of dabbadoo: original rolls of 10 or 12 on magic spells that hit you will be disastrous
  *of xastron: original rolls of 10 or 12 for worldgen (!) will make the place smell really bad


other things: you can choose up to two affinities for something, but here's the catch: i roll a d20 that determines how good it is. 10 doesn't change anything, more makes you better at the thing and less makes you oh so worse

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Read the opening post or something

Thanks for no help RR

Fine, here:


welcome to the dnd that is my one!
   -there are very few rules in comparison to the real kind, everything is gonna be qualitative instead of quantitative (e.g. that goblin looks super almost dead and has a bunch of gashes on her face, rather than that goblin has 2 hp left or whatever)


   -anything goes, which is to say, you can have your character attempt to do anything and the success is determined by a dice roll, put in the context of how likely it would have been to begin with (i.e. something like 'become a god' has, like, no chance of success even with like 3 consecutive 20s).


   -dice rolls won't be "this will work with a roll of n or higher," rather, i decide some outcome that is somewhere between catastrophically clumsy (1) and immaculately executed (20).


   -there will be a somewhat loosely observed map, inventory, and increasing skillset.


   -i will use random.org 1-20 for dice rolls, and attempt to use dice rolls for as many things as possible


expect it to be low commitment, fairly long-term, and super dumb and maybe lightly offensive

current players:
1. roadrunner
2. lalight
3. adk

in the near future, you can send me an application to fall from the sky and join the fray. if you want to interact but don't feel the need to join, you can apply to be a force of nature (e.g. make there suddenly be a bunch of wind flowing west)
to join, choose a race, gender, specialization, blessing, curse, and other thing:
races:
  *everiman: no distinguishing characteristics, really, tends to be somewhat physically strong and socially competent
  *dork'm: really scrunched-up orc face, brutish, good at hand-to-hand combat and stuff, super racist
  *dank elf: affinity for drugs
  *nerd'm: generally seem to have an aloof and pretentious expression, good at magic and arithmetic, often get punched in the face
  *joht: have a very wide assortment of random skills, fun at parties, emotionally repressed
  *sneak'm: sneaky, good at archery and stuff, tend to notice when people's flies are unzipped but don't say anything
  *mahst: a weird ghosty sorta thing that have an affinity for any weird mystical type stuff. they usually avoid eye contact
  *glihb: universally attractive and personable. i heard they have a girlfriend that goes to a different school


genders:
  *male
  *female
  *frensnark
  *unspecified


specialization/area of study: choose major and minor
  *sword combat, hand weaponry of all shapes and sizes except for the really weird ones that were elective courses
  *archery, crossbows, that that go shooty-shooty
  *sneakin around
  *magic - the friendly ones like healing and armor and stuff
  *magic - the eeeeevil ones like fire and being able to yell really loud
  *music, bardsmanship, generally strong manual dexterity and some affinity for drugs also
  *speechcraft, smooth-talking, politics, shoehorning yourself as the party leader and stuff
  *art history, which should, uh, occasionally be useful
(note: this and also sorta the race are non-binding, and if you are for some reason captivated by the desire to learn a new skill you can expect to pick it up eventually)


blessing (often given the opportunity to change, diegetically)
  *of smackatosh: original rolls of 20 on a combat thing result in a suuuuuper crit
  *of snatura: whenever you help a person, this deity summons for you a friendlus dop for some amount of minutes
  *of beliespor: you can do a really fast sprint thing but it makes you nauseous


curses (ibid.)
  *of plaggadon: original rolls of 10 or 12 on speech replace one of the nouns that you use with 'robot underpantsssss'
  *of dabbadoo: original rolls of 10 or 12 on magic spells that hit you will be disastrous
  *of xastron: original rolls of 10 or 12 for worldgen (!) will make the place smell really bad


other things: you can choose up to two affinities for something, but here's the catch: i roll a d20 that determines how good it is. 10 doesn't change anything, more makes you better at the thing and less makes you oh so worse

I read that so do i just say slash in

[Roadrunner7671]

I read that so do i just say slash in

If you want to waste your time n stuuff

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

I read that so do i just say slash in

If you want to waste your time n stuuff

WOW way to dis the game you playing BOIIII

[Roadrunner7671]

I read that so do i just say slash in

If you want to waste your time n stuuff

WOW way to dis the game you playing BOIIII

Yeah you'll fit right in

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

I read that so do i just say slash in

If you want to waste your time n stuuff

WOW way to dis the game you playing BOIIII

Yeah you'll fit right in

I know I fit in anywhere

[schadd]

say all of the things that is says to choose

[iguanaiguana]

Kill the grammarless floating baseball amoeba creature.

This is pre-emptive for if Jake ever completes an application.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Yo Biggy Iz watch this

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Yo Schadd can I get a new poll on what race I should be and then another for what specialty hehe

[gkrieg13]

Kill the grammarless floating baseball amoeba creature.

This is pre-emptive for if Jake ever completes an application.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Kill the grammarless floating baseball amoeba creature.

This is pre-emptive for if Jake ever completes an application.

Thanks Big G

[Roadrunner7671]

Kill the grammarless floating baseball amoeba creature.

This is pre-emptive for if Jake ever completes an application.

[schadd]

Yo Schadd can I get a new poll on what race I should be and then another for what specialty hehe

no, but the post that has since been quoted twice should serve a similar purpose

[A Drowned Kernel]

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

Organize peace talks between the scrants and the villagers.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Fine I'll choose myself I gave you guys a chance to have some input but you guys didn't want it so my choice yeah 

[Roadrunner7671]

Fine I'll choose myself I gave you guys a chance to have some input but you guys didn't want it so my choice yeah 

You're just going to get bombarded anyway, or at least that's how it appears

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

I am a glhib and a male with a major specialization in speechcraft and a minor in Sword/hand combat. My blessing is Of snatura and curse is Of Dabbadoo with an affinity for baseball and a affinity

[Roadrunner7671]

I am a glhib and a male with a major specialization in speechcraft and a minor in Sword/hand combat. My blessing is Of snatura and curse is Of Dabbadoo with an affinity for baseball and a affinity

Considering you'v been described as 'grammarless' and and 'an amoeba' I don't know how well speechcraft is going to work out for you, but we'll see

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Well I talk a lot which is speechcraft and me being pro at English just helps

[Dylan32]

/in male joht music major, minor in friendly-ish magics with the blessing of snatura and the curse of plaggadon.  Affinities for Peanut butter and for mismatched socks

[schadd]

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

Organize peace talks between the scrants and the villagers.

[13] you say "excuse me" and briefly step aside to start plotting how to go about such a thing

Try to recall the driving motivations of my life right now.

[4] in a feeble and atrophied attempt at introspection, you consider what stuff you want. the only thing that you can remember is your current desire to kill some sort of thing

Try to recall the driving motivations of my life right now.

[18] you realize that, hiding behind your overarching desire for fine weed, you have desires to more fully understand the personalities and aspirations of the village people as well as the scrants; you also have some faint desire to figure out your situation as far as getting kidnapped (?) and dumped in the weird cave after looking for an item, as well as some faint taste for adventure.

I am a glhib and a male with a major specialization in speechcraft and a minor in Sword/hand combat. My blessing is Of snatura and curse is Of Dabbadoo with an affinity for baseball and a affinity

sorry we're full

/in male joht music major, minor in friendly-ish magics with the blessing of snatura and the curse of plaggadon.  Affinities for Peanut butter and for mismatched socks

an envelope appears in adk's mouth

[Roadrunner7671]

Try to recall more about my kidnapping

[LaLight]

with a slight erotic move, take the envelope from adk

[schadd]

Try to recall more about my kidnapping

[5] you were frolicking in a field, looking for a thing. it was probably drugs, but you determine that from reasoning and not from recall.

with a slight erotic move, take the envelope from adk

[15] you lean over, chuckling playfully, and slide the envelope out of adk's half-open mouth. it stays half-open

[iguanaiguana]

Inquire with the scrants about the difference between themselves and the feral scrants I've been killing.

[schadd]

Inquire with the scrants about the difference between themselves and the feral scrants I've been killing.

"presumably it's something like the difference between you and the feral dork'm, except, uh, more"

[LaLight]

open the envelope. Examine what's inside

[A Drowned Kernel]

Try to recall more about my kidnapping

[5] you were frolicking in a field, looking for a thing. it was probably drugs, but you determine that from reasoning and not from recall.

with a slight erotic move, take the envelope from adk

[15] you lean over, chuckling playfully, and slide the envelope out of adk's half-open mouth. it stays half-open

Sloppy makeouts.

[schadd]

open the envelope. Examine what's inside

[17] you open it. it is a bit goopy. there is a letter that says
"cool beans
                          -the queen"

a baseball flies out of the sky and smacks the ground next to the cave entrance.
jake appears. [1] whenever he sees a baseball, he will be compelled to eat it and then throw up for a long time. he also [19] has a good affinity.

in his left pocket is 7 feppings. in his right pocket is a small skull. attached to his right leg is a calastral daggron.

next to jake appears dylan. [2] he has the same thing with peanut butter that jake does with baseballs, except he doesn't throw up as much. as well, he [6] receives minor combat debuffs while wearing mismatched socks.

in his left pocket is 1 fepping. in his right pocket a piece of sheet music that just has a signature of "famous musician" in the top staff, followed by a single treble clef. he is armed with a keytar.

with a slight erotic move, take the envelope from adk

[15] you lean over, chuckling playfully, and slide the envelope out of adk's half-open mouth. it stays half-open

Sloppy makeouts.

[12] you teleport behind lalight and tap on her shoulder. when she turns around, you inform her "you've been seduced."
the two of you immediately start drooling on each other's mouth.

[iguanaiguana]

Are you sure there's any such thing as a feral Dork'm?

[schadd]

Are you sure there's any such thing as a feral Dork'm?

yes

[iguanaiguana]

How many of the smart-type scrants are there? Do you guys get lonely?

Deep in your heart are the feelings good noble feelings or more like kinda knowledge-y evil ones?

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

What is feepings and what is calastral daggron

[iguanaiguana]

oh yeah derp

Initiate deadly combat with Jake

[schadd]

How many of the smart-type scrants are there? Do you guys get lonely?

Deep in your heart are the feelings good noble feelings or more like kinda knowledge-y evil ones?

"oh, i think we're hardly the ones to make that distinction. maybe ask the old scholar up in the moneymountains, adrianhealey
  we don't get lonely. we have too much stuff to read to bother with that stuff
  uh, we don't consider the knowledgey feelings evil, of course"

oh yeah derp

Initiate deadly combat with Jake

[8] you put yourself in combat position and draw the paffgun

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

oh yeah derp

Initiate deadly combat with Jake

Talk him out of combat

[schadd]

oh yeah derp

Initiate deadly combat with Jake

Talk him out of combat

[9] "stop with that nonsense!" you say, holding up a single hand in protest and starting to walk to the side

[Roadrunner7671]

Threaten Jake

[A Drowned Kernel]

Seduce Jake

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Hire A Bodygaurd

[schadd]

Threaten Jake

[13] "hey, bucko," you say, "things can get pretty nasty around here if you make a misstep. and, well, we've learned that many of the possible steps that one can make in these parts are missteps"

Seduce Jake

[17] "hey, handsome," you say, standing much closer to jake than rr is, "don't let that big lug bother you. there are plenty of... great times to be had with this gang. oops, i dropped my... folded up picture of a spook." you drop it on the ground and then sexfully pick it back up

Hire A Bodygaurd

[14] "jeez," you muse. you step to the side and peruse the nearby town for anyone that looks husky enough to be a bodyguard. "drat," you muse, shortly after, having found a very noticeable absence of such a person in the town. you wonder if, when perchance the gang finds a less intellectual part of the wilderness, a bodyguard may indeed be a strong long-term investment; this rapidly growing rag-tag gang of adventurers seems quite the unpredictable bunch.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Try to Hire a Bodygaurd... Until I find one

[A Drowned Kernel]

Oh right, the spook. Discern if there's any new information to be learned regarding the picture of the spook. Also, inform the scrants that the villagers are not in fact sneddites and that peaceful coexistance is within reach.

[schadd]

Try to Hire a Bodygaurd... Until I find one

i don't know what this means

Oh right, the spook. Discern if there's any new information to be learned regarding the picture of the spook. Also, inform the scrants that the villagers are not in fact sneddites and that peaceful coexistance is within reach.

[1] you give the picture of the spook a good taste-test. mm, tastes spooky.
  you run into the cave, having dropped the picture on the ground, and then yell "IT'S FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT" while throwing up, a lot, because of the ladder nausea. the scrants are not convinced that it's fine, but continue reading.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

It means I'll keep trying to get a Bodygaurd until I can find one

[Roadrunner7671]

It means I'll keep trying to get a Bodygaurd until I can find one

You're going to have a boring life

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

It means I'll keep trying to get a Bodygaurd until I can find one

You're going to have a boring life

I'm gonna get a Bodygaurd and have him kill you jk

[A Drowned Kernel]

Retrieve my treasured spook pic!

[Accatitippi]

I'd like to join the mayhem, if possible.
I'd like to be an unspecified everiman, with a major in art history and a minor in smooth talk. Blessing of snatura and that curse that makes the place smell really bad. Affinity for happiness, and for unfinished sentences.
I'm exactly what you guys need to

[iguanaiguana]

oh yeah derp

Initiate deadly combat with Jake

Talk him out of combat

[9] "stop with that nonsense!" you say, holding up a single hand in protest and starting to walk to the side

I shout at Jake, then I shoot my paffgun at him, trying to miss on purpose and hit the wall of the cave nearby instead.

[iguanaiguana]

maybe ask the old scholar up in the moneymountains, adrianhealey[/color]

[8] you put yourself in combat position and draw the paffgun

After terrifying Jake to death, I turn back to the scrants, interested in their reference to a scholar.

How does one get to the Moneymountains? I ask.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Slowlymove closer to Iguana while his back is turned

[Dylan32]

Look around to see what is going on around me and if there is anyone I could inspire with my music.

[schadd]

from now on i'm rolling 2d10. when you get 1s and 20s as often as we have it gets less charming

Retrieve my treasured spook pic!

[11] you stop vomiting and head back through the ladder systems and medium-slow speed, preventing most of the nausea. you pick up and repocket the spook picture

I'd like to join the mayhem, if possible.
I'd like to be an unspecified everiman, with a major in art history and a minor in smooth talk. Blessing of snatura and that curse that makes the place smell really bad. Affinity for happiness, and for unfinished sentences.
I'm exactly what you guys need to

a keyboard with three keys appears on the ground next to the cave.

I shout at Jake, then I shoot my paffgun at him, trying to miss on purpose and hit the wall of the cave nearby instead.

[15] you give a good, racially charged yell, and then paff just beyond his ear. jake hears a loud whaff

After terrifying Jake to death, I turn back to the scrants, interested in their reference to a scholar.

How does one get to the Moneymountains? I ask.

"that is where our area of expertise ends. presumably you need a bunch of money, but somehow i don't think that's even true"

Slowlymove closer to Iguana while his back is turned

[5] you move a little bit faster than slowly and almost bump into him

Look around to see what is going on around me and if there is anyone I could inspire with my music.

[14] a small group of adventurous people stand in a forest immediately next to a small town, wherein a small group of non-adventurous people are also scattered. everyone already looks pretty inspired, but, well, your keytar hasn't been turned on in a minute.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Attack Iguana

[Dylan32]

Pick up the 3 keyed keyboard and play the world's shortest song.  Then turn on keytar and run up to the adventurous crowd in slow-motion while playing chariots of fire on my keytar.

[gkrieg13]

ok. Now that J Reggie is all the way down and knows to watch me go through the magic wall I walk through it again while he watches

[iguanaiguana]

Use the ladder rung to defend myself against Jake's attack. Search for a counterblow to knock him out.

[schadd]

Attack Iguana

Use the ladder rung to defend myself against Jake's attack. Search for a counterblow to knock him out.

[8] you attempt to bop him on the head with the calastral daggron. [9] he jerks his head a bit to the side and raises the ladder rung, and is thus only grazed, but fails a counter-attack. he learns a somewhat irrelevant fact about space: 97% of matter in aegence is intoxicated, and is referred to by scientists as dank matter

Pick up the 3 keyed keyboard and play the world's shortest song.  Then turn on keytar and run up to the adventurous crowd in slow-motion while playing chariots of fire on my keytar.

it's not that kind of keyboard

[13] fortunately unaffected by witnessing a daggron bop, you do the chariots of fire thing. it is a somewhat detailed rendition with harmony &c

ok. Now that J Reggie is all the way down and knows to watch me go through the magic wall I walk through it again while he watches

[14] j reggie watches with largely undivided attention as you walk through the wall and appear at the top of the ladder.

[Dylan32]

Look at the not-that-kind-of-keyboard keyboard and look for words I can type.

Then greet the people I just approached

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Try to knock out Iguana

[iguanaiguana]

kill jake

[Roadrunner7671]

Damn!

[Dylan32]

Well that escalated quickly!

If the group I walked up to happens to include the fighting people, I will start playing "You're the Best" from the Karate Kid fight scene to set the mood.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

kill jake

Umm ok wow  😳😳😳😳

[A Drowned Kernel]

Can't we all just get along?

[schadd]

Look at the not-that-kind-of-keyboard keyboard and look for words I can type.

Then greet the people I just approached

[9] you successfully look at the keyboard. it has the letters h, p, and t. it is black plastic but is also leather-bound

"hello, fellow travellerinos."

Try to knock out Iguana

[12] you go for another hard bop with the daggron. iguana [8] somewhat lurches out of the way again, but you get a cleaner hit. iguana suddenly learns a lot of facts about cooking bread, and is having trouble reconciling the artistic beauty of the activity. he is also thus not giving as much attention to the current situation.

kill jake

[17]...but he snaps out of it, in large part. he pulls out the spiky point of the paffgun and aims for jake's juggular. jake [9] sees him coming, and lurches a bit to the side.
  iguana's paffgun is now lodged in jake's shoulder. yowch!

Damn!

Well that escalated quickly!

If the group I walked up to happens to include the fighting people, I will start playing "You're the Best" from the Karate Kid fight scene to set the mood.

[8] you do that thing, and don't miss very many notes

[schadd]

you guys are supposed to be waiting on me

[Roadrunner7671]

Oh yeah!

Try to deesculate the tension between Jake and Iguana using my calming voice

[A Drowned Kernel]

Rally the troops to organize the peace talks!

[schadd]

Oh yeah!

Try to deesculate the tension between Jake and Iguana using my calming voice

[11] you attempt to scrape some of the stray pot smoke from your voice box and spew out some calms.
  "hey, sugar parenthese s end parenthese. listen, i understand that somebody was able to probably lodge something in someone else's shoulder, and it was satisfying or whatever, but that stuff has [deep breath in] got to stop"
  smoke murks out of your mouth as you say that last part.

Rally the troops to organize the peace talks!

[9] "hey, everyone. hey. hi. yes, the scrants and the trent'ns are having some issues, as we can clearly see. surely, perhaps, in this case generally it would be a good idea to maybe do peace talks. does that sound cowabunga or what?"

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Get some of RR's Pot

[Roadrunner7671]

Slap Jake around a little

[A Drowned Kernel]

Accomplish something useful

[Axxle]

Force of Nature: Minor Tremor shakes the room

[Dylan32]

If I remember correctly, I think I learned some friendly type of healing magics in school, so:

Heal the people who are fighting each other

[schadd]

Get some of RR's Pot

[15] you quickly dislodge the paffgun from your shoulder and go over to rr and attempt to search his pockets for pot. ah, damn! your arm isn't really cooperating. ouch, also.
  a search with your eyes indicates limited to no presence of pot.

Slap Jake around a little

[13] you turn around, thirsting for a quick slap. oh! as if on cue, jake walks up to you and stares at your butt, and his left arm twitches.
  hm.
  you give him a few good alternating-direction slaps in his face.

Accomplish something useful

[11] you realize, naturally, that something useful must need to be done in order to do something useful.
  you wander up to antax, and ke looks at you, with a faint frotherly look of intrique.
  ke has been so nice to us, you briefly recall. hm.
  you ask "what is there to be done, in this world?"
  "ah, well, there's that whole sned ousting thing that's happening in the Scouncil, but i suppose there's nothing to be done about that. uh, well, i know this place looks like it's in the middle of nowhere, but Moderate To Large Urban Area 4 is actually just a few meelks down that way. i'm sure there's is some impoverished working class to be aided there."
  ke points east.

Force of Nature: Minor Tremor shakes the room

[13] a meaty wobble can be felt pretty thoroughly around trentown. "gah," antax says "another giant fart, surely. i gotta get them some fiber supplements or something..."
roadrunner almost loses balance, but then doesn't.

If I remember correctly, I think I learned some friendly type of healing magics in school, so:

Heal the people who are fighting each other

[12] you go over to jake and cast a Mild Healing Spell on his shoulder. jake can now move it, but it still feels tingly.
"fair's fair," you say to yourself. you cast the same on iguana's shoulder, which has suddenly received a Mild Burst Of Strength. oo!
you are now at a little bit more than half mana.

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Hug Dylan and then slap RR

[Dylan32]

Hug Jake back and ask "Do you really want to retaliate? Retaliation is what got a paffgun lodged in you shoulder, and I can't keep healing you forever bro." I then proceed to sing the chorus of Let It Go from the Disney movie frozen.

[A Drowned Kernel]

What is the Scouncil, and what is everyone's problem with Sneds?

[schadd]

Hug Dylan and then slap RR

[5] you kinda put both of your hands on dylan somewhere and then go over and strongly put a hand on RR's face. both of them are pretty sure of what you were trying to do but it was not executed well

Hug Jake back and ask "Do you really want to retaliate? Retaliation is what got a paffgun lodged in you shoulder, and I can't keep healing you forever bro." I then proceed to sing the chorus of Let It Go from the Disney movie frozen.

[10] you suddenly feel a faint sense of victory. perhaps a past or future self has just prevailed over something or other.
  you hug jake, competently. you say the two things and he follows but is kinda bored

What is the Scouncil, and what is everyone's problem with Sneds?

  "the Scouncil is the big central governothing that makes sure everything in aegence doesn't fall apart really fast. i would give more details about the issue but they haven't started reporting on it yet, since people haven't showed up yet.
  sneddites suck. they're very bad. sned themself is very much keen on making stuff bad for people, in the long run, and sneddites thus have that goal as well. it's a pretty basic good vs. evil-type thing"

[schadd]

congealed fartpaste

[iguanaiguana]

"We're going to the Scouncil to take our issues straight to the Sgovernment!" I shout, rallying everyone. Then we go.

[Roadrunner7671]

What about Jake?

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

"We're going to the Scouncil to take our issues straight to the Sgovernment!" I shout, rallying everyone. Then we go.

Follow

[iguanaiguana]

Jake's fine, why does anyone complain about Jake?

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Jake's fine, why does anyone complain about Jake?

Idk

[schadd]

"We're going to the Scouncil to take our issues straight to the Sgovernment!" I shout, rallying everyone. Then we go.

  antax hears and says, "uh, yeah, you could probably zelloport to the Scouncil if you got to MTLUA4."
  you respond "cool! ok" and then march over eastways. people generally follow.
  antax sits back on ker buftstool and puts ker hand absentmindedly on a buft, but still gazes at the group of adventurers. ke is smiling, but sighs heavily out of ker nose.


  the trees clear up pretty clearly as you head east, and a path gradually becomes apparent, and you see a sign that says "Moderate to Large Urban Area 4." a little ways down the path, you are approached by a nome.
  "hello," says the nome, "would you fine folks like to be swindled?"
  she raises a little ceramic jar as she says this.

[iguanaiguana]

Explain the meaning of swindle please

[schadd]

Explain the meaning of swindle please

  "why, i'm simply looking to swop this jar of myst for a greater value of other stuff. any takers? this offer won't be around forever!"

[iguanaiguana]

I reveal my hovel, hoping she might trash it and therefore increase the average value of my belongings

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Say No Thanks to the nome

[schadd]

I reveal my hovel, hoping she might trash it and therefore increase the average value of my belongings

is that a eupemism?

Say No Thanks to the nome

  "are ya sure? i think that some sort of deal like this would work out very well for me"

[iguanaiguana]

Offer one fep.

[schadd]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

[iguanaiguana]

would two others in the party like to offer a fep and share with me the rewards of being swindled?

[Roadrunner7671]

Ask for the jar in a way that implies I'm not really asking for the jar, I'm demanding it

[schadd]

Ask for the jar in a way that implies I'm not really asking for the jar, I'm demanding it

[5] "can i have that jar, please?"
  "uuh, no"
  you realize that it may have just sounded like you were asking. you put yourself on the spot, and it didn't work out. you recoil a little bit, and stand behind another person

[Dylan32]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

[Dylan32]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

Perhaps in addition to iguana²'s 1 fep.

[iguanaiguana]

I am in on it.

[schadd]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

Perhaps in addition to iguana²'s 1 fep.

  the two of you stretch out your hands, iguana holding onef and dylan holding twof. while the nome is eyeing the feppings, iguana [10] can't help but feel a little bit alpha'd by the larger amount of coins held by [15] dylan. hrm.
  "hm... okay."
  she takes the coins somewhat quickly, sets the bag on the ground and hurries away.

[Dylan32]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

Perhaps in addition to iguana²'s 1 fep.

  the two of you stretch out your hands, iguana holding onef and dylan holding twof. while the nome is eyeing the feppings, iguana [10] can't help but feel a little bit alpha'd by the larger amount of coins held by [15] dylan. hrm.
  "hm... okay."
  she takes the coins somewhat quickly, sets the bag on the ground and hurries away.

Pick up the bag (jar?) and look inside.

[iguanaiguana]

Nice smash it with the ladder rung I have.

[schadd]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

Perhaps in addition to iguana²'s 1 fep.

  the two of you stretch out your hands, iguana holding onef and dylan holding twof. while the nome is eyeing the feppings, iguana [10] can't help but feel a little bit alpha'd by the larger amount of coins held by [15] dylan. hrm.
  "hm... okay."
  she takes the coins somewhat quickly, sets the bag on the ground and hurries away.

Pick up the bag (jar?) and look inside.

[20] you look in the jarb'g and, wowoweewa. that nome had no idea what she was on about. this bagj'r is full of life and adventure. it is filled to the brim with Neat Glax Daggers Deluxe.

Nice smash it with the ladder rung I have.

[9] "golly," you think to yourself, "i haven't attempted a Nice Smash since college." nevertheless, you prance over, equipped with the rung, and give the jar a classy and pleasant tap on the rim. it cracks cleanly down the middle, and the NGDDs spill onto the ground and get imbued with Light Nature Power. "golllyy," you muse. "still got it."

[Roadrunner7671]

Yay

[Dylan32]

Offer one fep.

[11] she thinks for a second, looks agnostically into the jar and says "eh. i think i need higher margins for things to work out in the swindling business. how about... threef?"

I will offer twof

Perhaps in addition to iguana²'s 1 fep.

  the two of you stretch out your hands, iguana holding onef and dylan holding twof. while the nome is eyeing the feppings, iguana [10] can't help but feel a little bit alpha'd by the larger amount of coins held by [15] dylan. hrm.
  "hm... okay."
  she takes the coins somewhat quickly, sets the bag on the ground and hurries away.

Pick up the bag (jar?) and look inside.

[20] you look in the jarb'g and, wowoweewa. that nome had no idea what she was on about. this bagj'r is full of life and adventure. it is filled to the brim with Neat Glax Daggers Deluxe.

Nice smash it with the ladder rung I have.

[9] "golly," you think to yourself, "i haven't attempted a Nice Smash since college." nevertheless, you prance over, equipped with the rung, and give the jar a classy and pleasant tap on the rim. it cracks cleanly down the middle, and the NGDDs spill onto the ground and get imbued with Light Nature Power. "golllyy," you muse. "still got it."

Pick up the NGDDs

[Dylan32]

and count them

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Inquire about what is going on?

[Dylan32]

Inquire about what is going on?

"Iguana and I were just swindled. In return we received these NGDDs."

I will try to discern what abilities or magics these daggers have.

[schadd]

Yay

Pick up the NGDDs

and count them

[14] you scoop them all up, managing to not get injured and getting a reasonably strong grip on all 11 of them. you are also moderately confident in the notion that you counted them correctly.

I will try to discern what abilities or magics these daggers have.

[18] you notice a nearby blustfly attempting to covertly gather your trust. "hi children, haaaate to interuuupt, but i was hoping to covertly gather your tr-GHK!" it is interrupted by you stabbing it in the eye, knowing that if a blustfly ever covertly gathered somebody's trust, everybody would be sad. as you stab it in the eye, it gets slowly oozled and bamboozled by tendrils of nature. the light nature power begins humming with some ecosounds

[iguanaiguana]

Alright guys let's go somewhere else and find something to smash

[Dylan32]

Follow iguana and give him 4 of the NGDDs.

[Roadrunner7671]

Follow Dylan and try to pose as Iguana

[Dylan32]

Follow Dylan and try to pose as Iguana

Offer RR one NGDD in exchange for not pretending to be something he isn't

[Roadrunner7671]

Follow Dylan and try to pose as Iguana

Offer RR one NGDD in exchange for not pretending to be something he isn't

Deal!

[schadd]

Alright guys let's go somewhere else and find something to smash

  everybody continues to head down the road to the cityplace. a few exchanges of goods happen along the way.
  a person comes out of the ground. "turn back! turrrnnn baccckkk! i implore thee, if thou goest to yon city, ooonnnlllyyy deeeeemons and baaaad oooomens await!"

[Roadrunner7671]

Comfort the wary traveller and continue onwards

[JaketheBaseballGod22]

Tell him to piss off

[pacovf]

An ominous wind shakes the trees around you. You hear thunder in the distance.

signed, FoN

[iguanaiguana]

Inquire as to what the groundperson feareth.

[schadd]

Comfort the wary traveller and continue onwards

[9] just like in the movies, you burp a little bit of weedbreath into their eye and say "it's all gonna be generally fine, lil tomato"

they reply "no! there doth roam demons of dieath, and riemanns of wrath, and many a reason to avert thine step!"

Tell him to piss off

[7] "piss off," you say, authoritatively but not especially loudly.

"ay, and i will, but 'tis what i tellthou to do"

An ominous wind shakes the trees around you. You hear thunder in the distance.

signed, FoN

[14] a wind sizzles around bituminously and razzles yonder trees to a right fright. "eeugh... that just gave me the tingles" says one of the trees. a thunder strikes, as well, at a moderate but still frightening distance. "holy shit. i have an overriding sense that there is some sort of bad thing about to happen." says the same tree

Inquire as to what the groundperson feareth.

[8] "what is it that y- thou feareth?" you ask, boldishly.

"the ground equippeth one with a hearty intuition for this sort of thing; my doom heuristic giveth me readings off yon charts. perchance i could not explain it to you in exact terms."

[Dylan32]

Carry on toward the impending doom

[iguanaiguana]

follow along doomward.

[schadd]

the person goes back into the ground, resigned.

you push forth, forthwith, and suddenly the sky gets a little darker. oh, but wait, there's the thing.

an eggman falls out of the sky, and lands in front of your path. he has two long arms, one of which wields a long sword. the other arm scoops up a bunch of dirt from the ground, and postures to throw it at someone.

"myergh!"

[Dylan32]

Step back so that someone with a sword is closer to the eggman than me and throw a magical dagger at him (the eggman).

[schadd]

Step back so that someone with a sword is closer to the eggman than me and throw a magical dagger at him (the eggman).

[11] you take a few steps back and plant your weight solidly on your back foot. you whip an NGDD at the eggman, and it injects some plant into his veins. he bleeds, and his blood is eggs.

"MEERGH"

[iguanaiguana]

Utilise Ladder rung as weapon

[Roadrunner7671]

Sneak up behind him and crush his skull like an egg

[schadd]

Utilise Ladder rung as weapon

[12] you do a Standard Attack with the ladder rung, and give a good bash in the fronty part of the eggguy. more eggs start oozing out.

eggguy retaliates with a [9] Moderate Counterattack and throws sand at your sternum. ouch! but not that much, it was just dirt.

suddenly, judy the fart comes out from behind a bush. she says "hi, i'm judy the fart." in a smooth and fluid, yet horribly cigarette-marred voice.

Sneak up behind him and crush his skull like an egg

[13] undetected and whatnot, you pick up a small iron egg from the ground and give his skull a good bash. it doesn't cause especially significant damage, but he is momentarily stunned.

[iguanaiguana]

Break out of my months long coma, look around and try to remember wtf I am doing and also wtf is going on now. Maybe Lalight is gonna help too, I think she was hot in this game.

[iguanaiguana]

Try to bully the others out of their comas. "Hey Roadrunner, Ash, uh, Space if you're in this,  um Dylan maybe, Gee whiz did ADK sign up? Anyway maybe let's play this thing?

[iguanaiguana]

"O hey hi Judy."

[Roadrunner7671]

Keep egg smashy

[schadd]

Break out of my months long coma, look around and try to remember wtf I am doing and also wtf is going on now. Maybe Lalight is gonna help too, I think she was hot in this game.

[10] you remember that you were questing toward a certain city zone of reasonable size. you remember, foggily, a declaration you made to that effect:

"We're heading to the Scouncil to shove our problems into the Sgovernment!" I weep, startling everyone. Then we head out.

  at present, you are being ravaged by an egg monster. before your coma, it seemed as though he was stunned momentarily, but he's been out for a while. yipes! you hope he's okay.

"O hey hi Judy."

she smiles at you with tired but platonically loving eyes, and says "hey, child." a constant stream of cigarette smoke oozes out of her lungs as she says this.

Keep egg smashy

[14] still before he awakes from his coma, you again grip your iron egg and then plow it into the base of his cranium. skunch! it seems as though that reanimated him from his coma, but also knocked him onto the ground.
  "VEERHCGGHH!"
  wew. his vocal motor abilities might be a little not-okay.

[iguanaiguana]

Screw these unimportant NPCs,  me and Roadrunner are going to keep heading toward that metro.

[Dylan32]

Charge the eggman and plunge two NGDDs (one in each hand) into the top of his shell, then pull hands apart to peel him in two.
Then pick up the dagger I threw earlier and follow iguana if I succeed at killing the egg dude

[Roadrunner7671]

Screw these unimportant NPCs,  me and Roadrunner are going to keep heading toward that metro.

Seconded

[A Drowned Kernel]

Romance any likely and/or willing looking NPCs in the immediate vicinity.

[Dylan32]

Romance any likely and/or willing looking NPCs in the immediate vicinity.

NOW it's a DnD game

[ashersky]

Open a bottle of wine.

[iguanaiguana]

Yo Schadd can you like role some dice everyone is here

[Dylan32]

Yo Schadd can you like role some dice everyone is here

Judy looks at you, confused, and asks, "Well golly-gee. Who or what is a Schadd?

[schadd]

Screw these unimportant NPCs,  me and Roadrunner are going to keep heading toward that metro.

  the path leads you into a dark forest. you continue to walk for a moment, considering that the doom predicted by the groundguy probably hasn't transpired yet. spooky!

  you continue following the path, which leads you out of the dark forest and into Moderate to Large Urban Area 4. wowee! [18] you see a sprawling-ish metropolis of generally solid buildings. this is so cool! immediately, a nearby citizen smiles and says "hi! welcome to muttle 4!" and hands you a plate of freshly cooked moom.

to your left you see a rather tall residential building with a bunch of really cool balconies that are made of glass so you can see the stuff beneath you. to your right you see another tall residential building, with an establishment labelled "intrestingmporium" at the ground floor.

Charge the eggman and plunge two NGDDs (one in each hand) into the top of his shell, then pull hands apart to peel him in two.
Then pick up the dagger I threw earlier and follow iguana if I succeed at killing the egg dude

[17] compelled with fresh nature energy, you implant two daggers into structurally critical areas of the eggman's egg, and grush them apart. this kills the egg.

  see above.

Romance any likely and/or willing looking NPCs in the immediate vicinity.

[11] you meander over into the personal space of the citizen that handed the party a plate of moom.

  "hey there, bub. if i had some stuff, and i put it in an oven at 4.6447 degrees Garthron for 2 dork'm months, i would get you, hotstuff."

  they blush, and lean over to plant a thick kiss onto your bicep. it seems as though you are hitting it off well, but it seems that they expect you to take the next step.

Open a bottle of wine.

[7] you meander into the innards of the urbarea until you see a building titled "pretentious grapes". you meander in, and pick up a big bottle of wine from a shelf. you look over at the cashier, who is pretentiously averting ker eyes from you while analyzing a fresh grape.

  "hrm," ke says, communicating through body language that ke is only noting interesting qualities of the grape and not of you.

  you muse to yourself, "if ke is gonna ignore me, i'm gonna ignore ker," and just try to uncork the wine bottle. as you pick up a corkscrew from the shelf (which has a label "do not use this to steal wine while in the store") and limply attempt to plunge it into the cork, the wine bottle somehow jerks away from the corkscrew, as if repelled magnetically, and projects a popup into the air saying "our subsistence in the wine industry is ad revenue. before sampling this bottle of wine, we ask you to turn off your adblocker."

  you are kind of pissed because it says "we ask you" but it seems impossible to use it unless you actually turn your adblocker off. so it's like, they're trying to sound like they're not forcing you but they are. seems kinda manipulative, y'know?

[Dylan32]

I head towards the intrestingmporium

[A Drowned Kernel]

Romance any likely and/or willing looking NPCs in the immediate vicinity.

[11] you meander over into the personal space of the citizen that handed the party a plate of moom.

  "hey there, bub. if i had some stuff, and i put it in an oven at 4.6447 degrees Garthron for 2 dork'm months, i would get you, hotstuff."

  they blush, and lean over to plant a thick kiss onto your bicep. it seems as though you are hitting it off well, but it seems that they expect you to take the next step.

Sloppy makeouts.

[schadd]

I head towards the intrestingmporium

[13] you head in, correctly noting that it was a pull door and not a push door, and proceed through a short corridor again correctly noting which door leads to the interestingmporium rather than the residential part. the cashier is wearing a cape.

  "hellooooo. could i interest you with any wares?

  there appears to be no merchandise, rather a large, empty room.

Sloppy makeouts.

[14] kicking dr. buttzman's training into gear once again, you charismatically initiate sloppy makeouts with the citizen. during the makeout, they telepathically communicate (so as to not interrupt the makeouts—how polite!) that they usually don't do this with strangers; however, there isn't any sense of restraint or aversion in their teletone. you two then communicate through body language that you're cool to do this for another couple hours.

[Dylan32]

Say, "Where were the wares? Or are our hours going to be wasted here?

The English language is fun.

[iguanaiguana]

Look around for where I could do either an honest day's work or a dishonest day's work

[iguanaiguana]

I want those feps. Baby needs some mythril.

[schadd]

Say, "Where were the wares? Or are our hours going to be wasted here?

The English language is fun.

  you ask him this, making eye contact, and he waves his arm pointing around the room.


  "they're all around y- hold on."

  the room continues to be empty

  "you looked too early. look back at me."

  you oblige.

  "okay - look back. o- they're aaaallll around youuuu"

  he was right this time. there's a bunch of shelves, all with different trinkets and oddities or vouchers for some sort of trinket and oddity to be delivered by a different means or medium. there are also 3 large cages in the back, holding a liosaur, a chent, and an especially pink ezzird.

Look around for where I could do either an honest day's work or a dishonest day's work

[8] you look around for a few seconds from where you're standing and then annoyèdly call out "could i be presented with an opportunity to make money please?"

  a wartfreg oozes from a wall of one of the residential buildings and mutters, "typical tenther. begh." and then putters away.

  a pleasant everiman woman hurries up to you and says "hi, i'm elda wister. nice to meet you."

  she taps your cheek with her foot.

  "over at the Peasantry Assistance Corps, we have a massive endowment but very little manpower. we are always really pleased to get new people to help us out -- if you could just do a few exciting and adventurous quests to help out our urban poor, we would pay you excessively. please consider it!"

  a sneak'm fren with a serpentine tail also slithers up to you, immediately drooling onto your eyeball in greeting. "helloooo. i am titled wormandthief and would like to offer you a different labor; i have the intel on some boring jewels to be stolen from a well-guarded jewel fortress uptown. this task would involve a lot of waiting and i would probably want to take a huge cut, but at least you don't need to help out any of those stupid poor people."

  the two of them then say in unison "we are generally mutually exclusive and if you did one of our things, the other probably wouldn't want you to do their thing." they then look at each other and then nod contentedly, clearly pleased to be in accord.

[Dylan32]

Examine the liosaur, chent, and ezzird.  Ask "Do they bite? Or more imporatantly, would they bite my enemies, but not me?

[iguanaiguana]

What do you guys think?  I say let's help the poor people because that pays better for some reason in this universe.

[Dylan32]

What do you guys think?  I say let's help the poor people because that pays better for some reason in this universe.

The only question, is what exactly did they mean by "endowment"? It could be not money in this universe.

Second question, because of course there isn't only one: Good or Evil?

[iguanaiguana]

Maybe there is a way to be evil while still helping the poor people   

The offer from the snake guy just seems awfully bad.

[Dylan32]

Maybe there is a way to be evil while still helping the poor people   

The offer from the snake guy just seems awfully bad.

If you really want to be evil, steal jewels, kill him after job is done

[iguanaiguana]

Let's have a vote.

Vote: Be good

[Roadrunner7671]

Voting is lamesauce
Steel frm pour

[iguanaiguana]

Alright I choosento go do the work of the pleasant everiwoman for the cash 

[schadd]

Examine the liosaur, chent, and ezzird.  Ask "Do they bite? Or more imporatantly, would they bite my enemies, but not me?

  "liosaur: yeah, everything. she would take a little bit of discipline. the chent doesn't even have teeth or have the faintest sense of combat. the ezzird seems like it would be the best for you."

Voting is lamesauce
Steel frm pour

  "hmhmhmmm, great. take these 10 keys and wait behind that bush until further instructions."

  ke slithers away.

  a bush springs up from the ground somewhere out of the way.

  10 keys have been added to your inventory. bwing!

Alright I choosento go do the work of the pleasant everiwoman for the cash 

  "oh, wonderful! also, sorry, i'm a hologram but you can find me at our headquarters in midcity. good luck! and feel free to look around the city a bit, we have some interesting folks."

  she disappears. vwoop!

[iguanaiguana]

Look around the city. Primarily look for feppings.
 Also look for interesting people. 

[iguanaiguana]

Tearfully part ways with your BFF (Best forum friend) Roadrunner the Dank Elf since he chose evil and now you're never gonna see him again.

[Dylan32]

I would like to sense how truthful the peddler is. Ask "How much for the ezzird? Also, what can it do?"

[Roadrunner7671]

Tearfully part ways with your BFF (Best forum friend) Roadrunner the Dank Elf since he chose evil and now you're never gonna see him again.

Follow Iguanaiguana and convince him that good and evil are relative terms

[iguanaiguana]

Tearfully part ways with your BFF (Best forum friend) Roadrunner the Dank Elf since he chose evil and now you're never gonna see him again.

Follow Iguanaiguana and convince him that good and evil are relative terms

I think you better go get those jewels or whatever dude.

[schadd]

this was like really fun, thanks to everyone that played this

[Dylan32]

this was like really fun, thanks to everyone that played this

So, it's like, over now?

[schadd]

yeah