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Author Topic: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...  (Read 14104 times)

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The Fool in Fools gold

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Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« on: May 19, 2016, 12:21:48 pm »
+41

Hey everyone, we have a new Empires Preview for you all!



Jack in the Box of all Trades, Businesses, Professions, Skills, Talents, and Crafts is a very unique card in the Dominion world. It is so far the only card to have two alternate costs, either $1 or PP. As such, almost all of the remaining Empires cards involve Potions. Donald X. failed to mention the card in his teasers that costs PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. That one is really cool. As such, Empires is intended as a sequel to the very well-received Alchemy set. This card can serve almost any purpose - junker, card-drawer, gainer, opponent-annoyer, time-waster, etc. And you can buy two of them if you open PP/1, which is possible with a new landmark.

Tune in tomorrow for when we preview a three-dimensional pop-up card.

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marksim

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2016, 12:41:44 pm »
+1

Literally lol'd
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Orange

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2016, 12:41:55 pm »
0

Was the goal to amuse or annoy?
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enfynet

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2016, 12:43:32 pm »
0

It's a Traveller that can't be upgraded?
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"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious."

ObtusePunubiris

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2016, 12:43:52 pm »
+17

I must say, Donald, you have really disappointed me personally with this card, for the following reasons.

1.  It adds too much simplicity to the game I fell in love with.
2.  Unlike all of the other cards in the game, this one clearly can't be shuffled by itself
3.  I can't overpay for it with Embargo tokens and therefore gain a sweet roll
4.  The wings on that bird are clearly too small to support its weight

Oh yeah, *ducks*
« Last Edit: May 19, 2016, 12:54:46 pm by ObtusePunubiris »
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SuperHans

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2016, 12:49:22 pm »
+4

I feel like Donald could have found a simpler and more intuitive way to implement this card. Where is the game I originally fell in love with? I for one am no longer buying this expansion.
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Limetime

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2016, 01:04:32 pm »
+3

Was the goal to amuse or annoy?
Respect
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crj

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2016, 02:30:31 pm »
+2

How does moderation work on DominionStrategy? Does this thread's presence here indicate that Donald X., at least, has seen the funny side?
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Limetime

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2016, 02:33:25 pm »
0

Can someone post the card text?
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Kirian

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2016, 02:56:05 pm »
+1

How does moderation work on DominionStrategy? Does this thread's presence here indicate that Donald X., at least, has seen the funny side?

Posts are unmoderated initially, but can be deleted later.  I expect Donald to make a few snarky comments (because, OK, it's slightly humorous) and then move the thread to a different forum (or ask theory to do it if he can't do it directly).
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Kirian's Law of f.DS jokes:  Any sufficiently unexplained joke is indistinguishable from serious conversation.

Gubump

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2016, 03:05:48 pm »
+13

Can someone post the card text?

Sure!

Costs +$1 for each player in the game times 3 plus the number of cards in your hand. Gain a Silver, a Jack in the Box of All Trades, Businesses, Professions, Skills, Talents, and Crafts, and an Estate. Each player looks at the top card of their deck and discards it or puts it back, your choice. +2 Cards, +2 Actions, +2 Buys, and +$2. Gain a Copper. You may buy this if it is the top card of the trash. Each other player gains a Curse, a Copper, and two Ruins. Then they draw two cards and discard down to four cards in hand. Each other player must exchange a card in their hand with a card costing exactly $1 less in the Supply. (The cards they started with go on top of the Supply pile.) At the start of your next turn, +1 Card, +1 Action, +1 Buy, and +$1. If you overpay for this by $3 or more, gain a Duchy. Shuffle another player's deck. You may gain this when you gain a Province. Take a VP token, a Coin token, a [can't read] token, and a [another token I can't read] token. Gain a Fool's Gold, if it is in the Supply. Set a card aside from your hand. Next turn, put it into your hand. Gain a card with Fool in its name. After another player plays an Attack, you may reveal this from your hand to put it on your Tavern mat. Gain a card already in your hand that costs an odd number that is not a Victory card. You may call this at any time to put it into your hand. Gain a +1 Action token. Turn over your Journey token. Gain a card costing up to $4. Trash a card in your discard pile that does not have the letters J or Q in its name. This is worth +1 VP for each Jack... in your deck. When you trash this, gain a Gold. Gain a Copper and a Wandering Minstrel, even if it's not in the Supply. Uh-oh! Identity crisis! Swap your deck with someone else's. Gain a randomizer card. If today is another player's birthday, they lose. You may discard any cards you want to from your hand, then draw until you have 5 cards in hand. Discard the bottom card of your deck. Shuffle the trash, then return the top card of the trash to the Supply. Gain the top card of the player to your right's deck. You may trash a non-Treasure card from your hand. Gain a Copper. After another player gains a Curse, you may reveal this from your hand to get +2 Buys. You may trash a Province to gain a Prize. Pass a card from your hand to the player to your left. If you have a Curse in hand, shuffle it into the Copper pile. You may shuffle your deck, or shuffle your discard pile into your deck. Swap two players' hands. -1VP for each Victory card in your deck. After you discard this, you may exchange it for a Disciple. Draw the fourth from the top card in your deck, then discard it. Say "SE GOONS!" and everyone else discards a card from their hands. Possession costs an extra potion this turn. Gain a Copper. This is worth +$4 if you have played another Jack... this turn. If you discard this other than during a Cleanup phase, gain another Jack... Shuffle another player's hand. You may shuffle a copy of this into the Ruins or Knights pile if it's in use. Trash a Potion from the Supply. Gain a Copper.
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All of my fan card mockups are credited to Violet CLM and his/her Dominion Card Image Generator.

Burning Skull

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2016, 03:08:22 pm »
+1

so embarrassing, so embarrassing...
« Last Edit: May 19, 2016, 03:09:23 pm by Burning Skull »
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Donald X.

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2016, 03:13:16 pm »
+14

How does moderation work on DominionStrategy? Does this thread's presence here indicate that Donald X., at least, has seen the funny side?
Man, who is this guy.
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blaisepascal

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2016, 03:18:42 pm »
0

Now that I can read the text, I think the card is actually playable, but I feel it should be rearranged somewhat. The cost should be (*+), not (1) or PP, since the first line of the instruction contradict the card markings. Also, several of the clauses should be "below the line", including the first clause. None of this is particularly impossible, just ridiculous.
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SCSN

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2016, 03:20:44 pm »
+23

We're going to need more testers.
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Roadrunner7671

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2016, 05:02:18 pm »
0

/tag
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Oh God someone delete this before Roadrunner sees it.

The Fool in Fools gold

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2016, 05:50:45 pm »
+2

One of the tokens that you see is the Naustiness token. That will be revealed in a future preview.
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Thanar

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2016, 06:08:23 pm »
+3

This card finally explains the delays in releasing Dominion: Empires online. A full implementation requires solving the Halting Problem.

Pro tip: Don't enter a Dominion tournament scheduled on your birthday!
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Beyond Awesome

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2016, 11:56:00 pm »
0

For some reason, I thought SCSN started this thread.
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polot38

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2016, 01:17:17 am »
0

I seriously had to check whether it was April 1 when I saw and read that card. But seriously though... this isn't a real card, is it? Surely this must be some sort of joke?
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teamrocketgrunt

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2016, 02:18:04 am »
+8

I seriously had to check whether it was April 1 when I saw and read that card. But seriously though... this isn't a real card, is it? Surely this must be some sort of joke?

I assure you it is totally real. I happened to be at Sarcasticon 2016 when Donald X. personally unveiled this card to a select few playtesters.
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Join Team Rocket!

Accatitippi

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2016, 02:25:00 am »
+3

I have heard from a trusted source that Jack... will come in letter format for readability.
The material will be completely waterproof, so it will double as placemat, following the honored tradition of having cards with multiple uses. Intrigue looks pretty bleak in comparison.
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Burning Skull

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2016, 06:58:01 am »
+1

I seriously had to check whether it was April 1 when I saw and read that card. But seriously though... this isn't a real card, is it? Surely this must be some sort of joke?

Now when you asked I actually think this might be a joke.

Limetime

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #23 on: May 20, 2016, 09:13:19 am »
+1

Tune in tomorrow for when we preview a three-dimensional pop-up card.
Can't wait!
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Marcory

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Re: Empires Previews #6 - Jack...
« Reply #24 on: May 20, 2016, 10:27:15 am »
+27

I'm just waiting for the Moebius Strip and Klein Bottle versions of this card. The Moebius strip offers endless fun, and the Klein bottle has no edge cases.
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