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Darth Vader

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Ask Darth Vader
« on: April 18, 2016, 11:48:50 pm »
+2

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2016, 11:59:30 pm »
+4

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2016, 12:01:27 am »
+5

What do you have against sand?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2016, 12:42:04 am »
+4

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2016, 12:45:04 am »
0

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2016, 01:56:21 am »
0

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2016, 09:16:26 am »
0

Why did you kill my father?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2016, 09:22:29 am »
0

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2016, 09:33:16 am »
+3

Who is YOUR father?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2016, 09:57:15 am »
+4

Who is YOUR father?

It's         Moat

Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2016, 10:56:24 am »
+1

What do you have against sand?

It's coarse, it's dry, it gets everywhere. I went back to Tatooine once in this suit. Let me tell you, it was awful. Try wearing black with two suns blaring down on you. The worst part about it though, is that sand just got in my suit somehow, and irritated my already charred skin! It really messes up my meditation. Oh well, At least I had built in sunglasses.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2016, 10:58:10 am »
+3

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.

Jar Jar told me she was pretty hot. And I was a teenager in a lame cult where you weren't allowed to love or anything like that.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2016, 10:58:51 am »
+2

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?

That was a creative liberty George Lucas took. He loves his special effects.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2016, 10:59:14 am »
0

Who is YOUR father?

Palpatine's force sperm, apparently.

I'll answer more questions later. I have some Rebels to kill.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2016, 12:08:29 pm »
0

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?

Because he wants to be me.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2016, 12:09:08 pm »
0

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?

Whether I killed him or not, I would have left an impression. Both on all of the commanding officers, and on his neck. And yes, I would have killed him. Especially after he apologized.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2016, 12:09:49 pm »
0

Why did you kill my father?

Probably because he was a Rebel. Now I'm coming for you.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2016, 12:11:20 pm »
+2

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?

This one.

Even Sith Lords have to be hip and suave.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2016, 12:13:36 pm »
0

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2016, 12:48:40 pm »
+4

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2016, 02:06:58 pm »
+1

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.

Dang it, how did you know?

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?

...shit.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2016, 02:10:23 pm »
+1

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2016, 02:11:56 pm »
0

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2016, 02:29:46 pm »
+1

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2016, 03:30:07 pm »
0

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

I didn't realize you were an expert on ancient, extragalactic technology.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #25 on: April 19, 2016, 03:32:48 pm »
0

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

I didn't realize you were an expert on ancient, extragalactic technology.

You're surprised?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #26 on: April 19, 2016, 05:33:54 pm »
+2

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

Maybe he means his screams were the carrier signal and George Lucas's voice was the modulator.

Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2016, 07:00:26 pm »
0

The questions don't all have to be about me. It could be about anything Star Warsy, really.

I'm pretty lonely. That's why I joined here, after all. I play Dominion to empty the void that losing Padme left in my heart.
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Awaclus

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2016, 07:05:12 pm »
0

The questions don't all have to be about me. It could be about anything Star Warsy, really.

I'm pretty lonely. That's why I joined here, after all. I play Dominion to empty the void that losing Padme left in my heart.

How do you empty a void?

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

Maybe he means his screams were the carrier signal and George Lucas's voice was the modulator.

Oh, I see.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2016, 07:06:18 pm by Awaclus »
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2016, 07:42:13 pm »
+1

Have you checked out forum games?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #30 on: April 19, 2016, 08:07:49 pm »
+2

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2016, 08:09:19 pm »
0

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Damn, asking the real questions.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2016, 08:11:09 pm »
0

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Midichlorians aren't real. That's just leftist George Lucas mumbo-jumbo. Lucas obviously can't have some mystical power that just exists on its own. Nope. Has to be some 'scientific bullshit' reason.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2016, 08:44:20 pm »
0

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Point of interest: as someone who has never seen the prequels nor plans to, Darths & Droids canon decides that a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force user gives Force abilities, but it also corrupts them towards the dark side. Darth Vader received such a transfusion. That sounds better than the bullshit I've heard about the original plot of the prequels.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #34 on: April 19, 2016, 09:19:36 pm »
0

Have you checked out forum games?
I second this question.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2016, 09:27:03 pm »
+1

Have you checked out forum games?
I second this question.

I will not play for reasons of integrity.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #36 on: April 20, 2016, 06:26:05 am »
0

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Midichlorians aren't real. That's just leftist George Lucas mumbo-jumbo. Lucas obviously can't have some mystical power that just exists on its own. Nope. Has to be some 'scientific bullshit' reason.
Midichlorians are pretty much the same as Dragonball power levels.

"His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form." is equivalent to "It's over 9000!!!"
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #37 on: April 20, 2016, 09:23:53 am »
0

Have you checked out forum games?
I second this question.

I will not play for reasons of integrity.

Even 'Star Wars Mafia'?!
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #38 on: April 20, 2016, 09:51:24 am »
0

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #39 on: April 20, 2016, 10:19:37 am »
0

Why did you never learn the blue lightning trick?  I mean, force choke is cool and everything, but blue lightning is better for shock and awe
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #40 on: April 20, 2016, 10:29:26 am »
0

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?

Why did you never learn the blue lightning trick?  I mean, force choke is cool and everything, but blue lightning is better for shock and awe

I'm half machine. Doing that would kill me.

Even 'Star Wars Mafia'?!

Even Star Wars Mafia.

"His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form." is equivalent to "It's over 9000!!!"

You mean that Midichlorians, like power levels, are completely useless? The creator of DBZ has even said: "power levels were only introduced to show how pointless they are." The show is about Goko Goku overcoming the odds continually, and always getting stronger.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #41 on: April 21, 2016, 02:35:00 am »
0

Likewise, the original Star Wars trilogy was about Luke overcoming the odds continually, and always getting stronger.

He wasn't even a fully trained Jedi in Empire Strikes Back.
Him going back to Dagobah to finish his training with Joda is like Goku training with King Kai.
(haven't watched much of Dragonball so going out on a limb here).
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #42 on: April 22, 2016, 07:27:32 pm »
0

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #43 on: April 22, 2016, 07:34:42 pm »
0

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #44 on: April 22, 2016, 07:40:16 pm »
0

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?

But I'm not Hayden Christensen...
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #45 on: April 22, 2016, 08:01:53 pm »
+1

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?

But I'm not Hayden Christensen...

I wasn't talking about that weird, awkward ghost.  I am talking about the one you hid from all the young people who are too young to have seen that original ugly guy they threw in.  That is your real ghost.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #46 on: May 18, 2016, 04:55:02 pm »
+1

I am half robot. So do I dream of electrified Sheev?

Sheev is of course, the first name of Emperor Palpatine.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #47 on: May 18, 2016, 05:19:31 pm »
0

I am half robot. So do I dream of electrified Sheev?

Sheev is of course, the first name of Emperor Palpatine.

I hear you are making an appearance on rogue 1. Care to share anything about what went down during that whole operation?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #48 on: May 18, 2016, 05:36:16 pm »
0

What is your favorite Dominion card, and why?

Do you ever kill imperial admirals you play Dominion with?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #49 on: May 18, 2016, 05:54:20 pm »
+1

I hear you are making an appearance on rogue 1. Care to share anything about what went down during that whole operation?

I cut down a bunch of Rebels, but I get damaged during the fighting, so I have to go into a bacta tank, which is why I fought horribly in Episode 4.

What is your favorite Dominion card, and why?

Do you ever kill imperial admirals you play Dominion with?

My favorite Dominion card is Emperor. At least, when that card comes out. Until then, Sir Vander, because it sounds like Vader.

Everyone else is too busy hunting for Rebels to play Dominion. They board ships, I play Merchant Ship.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #50 on: July 22, 2016, 02:39:04 pm »
+2

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #51 on: July 22, 2016, 07:34:41 pm »
0

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?


I actually think he was re-installed in the canon.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #52 on: July 22, 2016, 07:37:03 pm »
+1

@Darth Vader-  I'm a hard-working radar technician whose always tries to serve the empire faithfully, but a vacancy just opened up for senior communications officer, and I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me up at high command. It would really mean a lot to me!
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2016, 06:25:40 pm »
+1

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #54 on: July 28, 2016, 06:10:20 am »
0

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?


I actually think he was re-installed in the canon.
Not quite yet, but there's been a bloodstriped interceptor featured in the Rebels season 3 trailer...
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #55 on: July 28, 2016, 05:47:56 pm »
+1

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #56 on: July 28, 2016, 06:11:19 pm »
0

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

I see you've been watching Film Theory.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #57 on: July 29, 2016, 09:36:43 am »
0

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance. 
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #58 on: July 29, 2016, 10:33:22 am »
0

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance.

Ah, but does the insurance cover terrorist attacks?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #59 on: July 29, 2016, 10:36:14 am »
+3

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance.

Ah, but does the insurance cover terrorist attacks?

Section XI.4.iii.a: Coverage Relating to Exhaust Port Issues
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #60 on: August 04, 2016, 12:56:50 pm »
+3

@Darth Vader-  I'm a hard-working radar technician whose always tries to serve the empire faithfully, but a vacancy just opened up for senior communications officer, and I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me up at high command. It would really mean a lot to me!

No need. I'll eventually run out of incompetent officers to choke.

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

What the heck is a German?

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

I didn't know you were Matt Pat.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #61 on: August 04, 2016, 01:25:08 pm »
0

I didn't know you were Matt Pat.
I'm not. I just really enjoy his work.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #62 on: August 04, 2016, 08:06:39 pm »
+5

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

What the heck is a German?

You're good at answering these, i give you that. It's a member of a nation from a planet in a galaxy far, far away, in a distant future.

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #63 on: August 04, 2016, 11:33:41 pm »
+5

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #64 on: August 05, 2016, 12:39:19 am »
+3

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

I find your lack of faith in this thread disturbing
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #65 on: August 05, 2016, 09:54:10 am »
+1

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

It's not the size of the thread, it's the disturbance in the Force.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #66 on: August 05, 2016, 11:43:36 am »
0

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

This thread will soon be the ultimate meme station in all of f.ds. I suggest you continue to use it.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #67 on: August 05, 2016, 02:31:43 pm »
0

Test
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #68 on: August 07, 2016, 02:43:37 pm »
0

What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #69 on: August 07, 2016, 02:45:06 pm »
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What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?

It's rickroll.

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #70 on: August 07, 2016, 02:47:03 pm »
0

What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?

It's rickroll.

Thank you.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #71 on: October 11, 2016, 12:02:04 pm »
0

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #72 on: October 11, 2016, 06:28:20 pm »
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No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #73 on: October 11, 2016, 07:46:25 pm »
0

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?

Whoa, you certainly like to live dangerously. I'm fairly certain Lord Vader could force-choke you across the internet if it suited him.

Lord Vader, how should I cope with the two-day corporate orientation this week? Any tips?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #74 on: October 12, 2016, 12:37:40 am »
0

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #75 on: October 12, 2016, 07:50:12 am »
0

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I'll field that one: Kylo Ren is a wimp. He isn't worthy to be Lord Vader's successor.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #76 on: October 12, 2016, 09:03:06 am »
0

Was it embarassing to see your awkward teenage years on screen? And, more importantly, do you still use that sand line to hit on girls? Also, as you are an evil Sith Lord - do you hit girls?

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #77 on: October 12, 2016, 10:07:48 am »
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I have a much more important question. What is your favorite pokémon.

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #78 on: October 12, 2016, 07:25:26 pm »
+5

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?

Do you know that nobody cares about you?

Lord Vader, how should I cope with the two-day corporate orientation this week? Any tips?

When you're up there on stage, imagine force choking everyone in the audience. It helps with nervousness.

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I haven't seen Ben Solo for the sole reason that I was dead at the time.

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I'll field that one: Kylo Ren is a wimp. He isn't worthy to be Lord Vader's successor.

Kylo Ren is just young. Think about how whiny Anakin was at Kylo's age, or how whiny Luke was. People forget this stuff. It makes perfect sense. Kylo Ren is a great character is doing fine for his age. He'll learn. He'll be a badass eventually.

Was it embarrassing to see your awkward teenage years on screen? And, more importantly, do you still use that sand line to hit on girls? Also, as you are an evil Sith Lord - do you hit girls?

It's the George Lucas rendition of my life. Why do I have to keep telling people this.

Also, I don't need girls. I have the Dark Side.

I have a much more important question. What is your favorite pokémon.

Charizard.

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #79 on: October 12, 2016, 11:29:04 pm »
0

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I haven't seen Ben Solo for the sole reason that I was dead at the time.

Why should that stop you?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #80 on: May 29, 2017, 07:33:49 pm »
+2

How do you get your helmet so dang shiny?
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #81 on: September 09, 2017, 06:30:23 pm »
+1

How do you get your helmet so dang shiny?

Plastisteel. It's naturally shiny.
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