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[Darth Vader]

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

[2.71828.....]

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.

[A Drowned Kernel]

What do you have against sand?

[LastFootnote]

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?

[werothegreat]

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?

[pacovf]

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?

[Watno]

Why did you kill my father?

[Witherweaver]

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?

[Davio]

Who is YOUR father?

[silverspawn]

Who is YOUR father?

It's         Moat

[Darth Vader]

What do you have against sand?

It's coarse, it's dry, it gets everywhere. I went back to Tatooine once in this suit. Let me tell you, it was awful. Try wearing black with two suns blaring down on you. The worst part about it though, is that sand just got in my suit somehow, and irritated my already charred skin! It really messes up my meditation. Oh well, At least I had built in sunglasses.

[Darth Vader]

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.

Jar Jar told me she was pretty hot. And I was a teenager in a lame cult where you weren't allowed to love or anything like that.

[Darth Vader]

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?

That was a creative liberty George Lucas took. He loves his special effects.

[Darth Vader]

Who is YOUR father?

Palpatine's force sperm, apparently.

I'll answer more questions later. I have some Rebels to kill.

[Darth Vader]

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?

Because he wants to be me.

[Darth Vader]

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?

Whether I killed him or not, I would have left an impression. Both on all of the commanding officers, and on his neck. And yes, I would have killed him. Especially after he apologized.

[Darth Vader]

Why did you kill my father?

Probably because he was a Rebel. Now I'm coming for you.

[Darth Vader]

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?

This one.

Even Sith Lords have to be hip and suave.

[Seprix]

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?

[faust]

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.

[Darth Vader]

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.

Dang it, how did you know?

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?

...shit.

[Witherweaver]

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Darth Vader]

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

[Awaclus]

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

[LastFootnote]

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

I didn't realize you were an expert on ancient, extragalactic technology.

[Witherweaver]

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

I didn't realize you were an expert on ancient, extragalactic technology.

You're surprised?

[J Reggie]

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

Maybe he means his screams were the carrier signal and George Lucas's voice was the modulator.

[Darth Vader]

The questions don't all have to be about me. It could be about anything Star Warsy, really.

I'm pretty lonely. That's why I joined here, after all. I play Dominion to empty the void that losing Padme left in my heart.

[Awaclus]

The questions don't all have to be about me. It could be about anything Star Warsy, really.

I'm pretty lonely. That's why I joined here, after all. I play Dominion to empty the void that losing Padme left in my heart.

How do you empty a void?

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

Maybe he means his screams were the carrier signal and George Lucas's voice was the modulator.

Oh, I see.

[Witherweaver]

Have you checked out forum games?

[werothegreat]

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

[Witherweaver]

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Damn, asking the real questions.

[Darth Vader]

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Midichlorians aren't real. That's just leftist George Lucas mumbo-jumbo. Lucas obviously can't have some mystical power that just exists on its own. Nope. Has to be some 'scientific bullshit' reason.

[Titandrake]

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Point of interest: as someone who has never seen the prequels nor plans to, Darths & Droids canon decides that a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force user gives Force abilities, but it also corrupts them towards the dark side. Darth Vader received such a transfusion. That sounds better than the bullshit I've heard about the original plot of the prequels.

[Roadrunner7671]

Have you checked out forum games?

I second this question.

[Darth Vader]

Have you checked out forum games?

I second this question.

I will not play for reasons of integrity.

[Davio]

Why can't a non-Force-user just get a midi-chlorian transfusion from a Force-user to get Force abilities?

Midichlorians aren't real. That's just leftist George Lucas mumbo-jumbo. Lucas obviously can't have some mystical power that just exists on its own. Nope. Has to be some 'scientific bullshit' reason.

Midichlorians are pretty much the same as Dragonball power levels.

"His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form." is equivalent to "It's over 9000!!!"

[Witherweaver]

Have you checked out forum games?

I second this question.

I will not play for reasons of integrity.

Even 'Star Wars Mafia'?!

[thespaceinvader]

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

[2.71828.....]

Why did you never learn the blue lightning trick?  I mean, force choke is cool and everything, but blue lightning is better for shock and awe

[Darth Vader]

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?

Why did you never learn the blue lightning trick?  I mean, force choke is cool and everything, but blue lightning is better for shock and awe

I'm half machine. Doing that would kill me.

Even 'Star Wars Mafia'?!

Even Star Wars Mafia.

"His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form." is equivalent to "It's over 9000!!!"

You mean that Midichlorians, like power levels, are completely useless? The creator of DBZ has even said: "power levels were only introduced to show how pointless they are." The show is about Goko Goku overcoming the odds continually, and always getting stronger.

[Davio]

Likewise, the original Star Wars trilogy was about Luke overcoming the odds continually, and always getting stronger.

He wasn't even a fully trained Jedi in Empire Strikes Back.
Him going back to Dagobah to finish his training with Joda is like Goku training with King Kai.
(haven't watched much of Dragonball so going out on a limb here).

[Darth Vader]

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

[2.71828.....]

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?

[Darth Vader]

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?

But I'm not Hayden Christensen...

[2.71828.....]

I am left with this very deep question. I died in Episode 6, so how am I posting here...?

We all saw your ghost. Like, really, you are the one concerned about this?

But I'm not Hayden Christensen...

I wasn't talking about that weird, awkward ghost.  I am talking about the one you hid from all the young people who are too young to have seen that original ugly guy they threw in.  That is your real ghost.

[Darth Vader]

I am half robot. So do I dream of electrified Sheev?

Sheev is of course, the first name of Emperor Palpatine.

[2.71828.....]

I am half robot. So do I dream of electrified Sheev?

Sheev is of course, the first name of Emperor Palpatine.

I hear you are making an appearance on rogue 1. Care to share anything about what went down during that whole operation?

[McGarnacle]

What is your favorite Dominion card, and why?

Do you ever kill imperial admirals you play Dominion with?

[Darth Vader]

I hear you are making an appearance on rogue 1. Care to share anything about what went down during that whole operation?

I cut down a bunch of Rebels, but I get damaged during the fighting, so I have to go into a bacta tank, which is why I fought horribly in Episode 4.

What is your favorite Dominion card, and why?

Do you ever kill imperial admirals you play Dominion with?

My favorite Dominion card is Emperor. At least, when that card comes out. Until then, Sir Vander, because it sounds like Vader.

Everyone else is too busy hunting for Rebels to play Dominion. They board ships, I play Merchant Ship.

[Darth Vader]

[McGarnacle]

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?

I actually think he was re-installed in the canon.

[McGarnacle]

@Darth Vader-  I'm a hard-working radar technician whose always tries to serve the empire faithfully, but a vacancy just opened up for senior communications officer, and I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me up at high command. It would really mean a lot to me!

[Asper]

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

[thespaceinvader]

Do you play the X Wing miniatures game?

Which is your favourite faction and is Soontir Fel your bro?

No.

I used to know that guy, then Disney decided they all don't exist. Now I don't even remember him. Who is he again?

I actually think he was re-installed in the canon.

Not quite yet, but there's been a bloodstriped interceptor featured in the Rebels season 3 trailer...

[Doom_Shark]

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

[Seprix]

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

I see you've been watching Film Theory.

[Witherweaver]

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance. 

[McGarnacle]

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance.

Ah, but does the insurance cover terrorist attacks?

[Witherweaver]

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

They probably had insurance.

Ah, but does the insurance cover terrorist attacks?

Section XI.4.iii.a: Coverage Relating to Exhaust Port Issues

[Darth Vader]

@Darth Vader-  I'm a hard-working radar technician whose always tries to serve the empire faithfully, but a vacancy just opened up for senior communications officer, and I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me up at high command. It would really mean a lot to me!

No need. I'll eventually run out of incompetent officers to choke.

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

What the heck is a German?

Shouldn't the economy of the entire empire have collapsed after those rebel terrorists destroyed not one, but two massive and expensive battle stations?

I didn't know you were Matt Pat.

[Doom_Shark]

I didn't know you were Matt Pat.

I'm not. I just really enjoy his work.

[Asper]

Did it ever occur to you that your helmet has the rough shape of a WWII german helmet and serves mostly the purpuse to make you appear more villainous?

What the heck is a German?

You're good at answering these, i give you that. It's a member of a nation from a planet in a galaxy far, far away, in a distant future.

[Jimmmmm]

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

[2.71828.....]

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

I find your lack of faith in this thread disturbing

[Witherweaver]

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

It's not the size of the thread, it's the disturbance in the Force.

[Darth Vader]

Is this thread aspiring to be as long as the Interview with Donald X thread?

This thread will soon be the ultimate meme station in all of f.ds. I suggest you continue to use it.

[LastFootnote]

Test

[mail-mi]

What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?

[Awaclus]

What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?

It's rickroll.

[mail-mi]

What the heck is the website in that floating linked period in you signature?

It's rickroll.

Thank you.

[Darth Vader]

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

[Seprix]

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?

[LastFootnote]

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?

Whoa, you certainly like to live dangerously. I'm fairly certain Lord Vader could force-choke you across the internet if it suited him.

Lord Vader, how should I cope with the two-day corporate orientation this week? Any tips?

[Doom_Shark]

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

[McGarnacle]

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I'll field that one: Kylo Ren is a wimp. He isn't worthy to be Lord Vader's successor.

[Asper]

Was it embarassing to see your awkward teenage years on screen? And, more importantly, do you still use that sand line to hit on girls? Also, as you are an evil Sith Lord - do you hit girls?

[silverspawn]

I have a much more important question. What is your favorite pokémon.

[Darth Vader]

No more questions for the esteemed Lord of All the Evil People in the World?

Do you know that nobody cares?

Do you know that nobody cares about you?

Lord Vader, how should I cope with the two-day corporate orientation this week? Any tips?

When you're up there on stage, imagine force choking everyone in the audience. It helps with nervousness.

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I haven't seen Ben Solo for the sole reason that I was dead at the time.

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I'll field that one: Kylo Ren is a wimp. He isn't worthy to be Lord Vader's successor.

Kylo Ren is just young. Think about how whiny Anakin was at Kylo's age, or how whiny Luke was. People forget this stuff. It makes perfect sense. Kylo Ren is a great character is doing fine for his age. He'll learn. He'll be a badass eventually.

Was it embarrassing to see your awkward teenage years on screen? And, more importantly, do you still use that sand line to hit on girls? Also, as you are an evil Sith Lord - do you hit girls?

It's the George Lucas rendition of my life. Why do I have to keep telling people this.

Also, I don't need girls. I have the Dark Side.

I have a much more important question. What is your favorite pokémon.

Charizard.

[Witherweaver]

How do you feel about Ben Solo a.k.a Kylo Ren as your quote-unquote "successor"? Have you talked to him about his anger issues?

I haven't seen Ben Solo for the sole reason that I was dead at the time.

Why should that stop you?

[CheesyJelly]

How do you get your helmet so dang shiny?

[Darth Vader]

How do you get your helmet so dang shiny?

Plastisteel. It's naturally shiny.