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Author Topic: Ask Darth Vader  (Read 6190 times)

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Darth Vader

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Ask Darth Vader
« on: April 18, 2016, 11:48:50 pm »
+2

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.
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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2016, 11:59:30 pm »
+4

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.
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A Drowned Kernel

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2016, 12:01:27 am »
+5

What do you have against sand?
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LastFootnote

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2016, 12:42:04 am »
+4

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?
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werothegreat

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2016, 12:45:04 am »
0

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?
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pacovf

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2016, 01:56:21 am »
0

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?
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Watno

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2016, 09:16:26 am »
0

Why did you kill my father?
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Witherweaver

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2016, 09:22:29 am »
0

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?
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Davio

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2016, 09:33:16 am »
+3

Who is YOUR father?
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silverspawn

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2016, 09:57:15 am »
+4

Who is YOUR father?

It's         Moat

Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2016, 10:56:24 am »
+1

What do you have against sand?

It's coarse, it's dry, it gets everywhere. I went back to Tatooine once in this suit. Let me tell you, it was awful. Try wearing black with two suns blaring down on you. The worst part about it though, is that sand just got in my suit somehow, and irritated my already charred skin! It really messes up my meditation. Oh well, At least I had built in sunglasses.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2016, 10:58:10 am »
+3

Like, what did you see in Padme when you were just a little boy that made you go for her?  Then like, whatever made her fall for you?  You had nothing going for you.  A couple cheesy lines as a little kid, then a couple more cheesy lines as a taller kid.  But like, nothing going for you at all.  Did you use some sort of mind trick on her?

Just curious.

Jar Jar told me she was pretty hot. And I was a teenager in a lame cult where you weren't allowed to love or anything like that.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2016, 10:58:51 am »
+2

Why did your eyes get all creepy and red when you joined the dark side? Did you get sand in them or something?

That was a creative liberty George Lucas took. He loves his special effects.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2016, 10:59:14 am »
0

Who is YOUR father?

Palpatine's force sperm, apparently.

I'll answer more questions later. I have some Rebels to kill.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2016, 12:08:29 pm »
0

Why is your grandson so creepy and emo?

Because he wants to be me.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2016, 12:09:08 pm »
0

Would you really have killed that guy with the force choke, or were you just trying to make an impression?

Whether I killed him or not, I would have left an impression. Both on all of the commanding officers, and on his neck. And yes, I would have killed him. Especially after he apologized.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2016, 12:09:49 pm »
0

Why did you kill my father?

Probably because he was a Rebel. Now I'm coming for you.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2016, 12:11:20 pm »
+2

What's your favourite moisturizer brand?

This one.

Even Sith Lords have to be hip and suave.
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Seprix

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2016, 12:13:36 pm »
0

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?
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faust

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2016, 12:48:40 pm »
+4

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2016, 02:06:58 pm »
+1

Ask me anything. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have about me, or the Empire.

Theory: Darth Vader is actually Donald X.'s alt account and this was all an elaborate setup to deliver Empires teasers in a different fashion.

Dang it, how did you know?

The Emperor took everything from you. He took your wife, he took your loved ones away, he made you kill 'younglings', and he even took your good looks away. Why did you still hang out with him after the ending of Episode 3?

...shit.
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Witherweaver

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2016, 02:10:23 pm »
+1

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Darth Vader

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2016, 02:11:56 pm »
0

...shit.

Would have been such a better line than, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.
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Awaclus

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2016, 02:29:46 pm »
+1

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.
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LastFootnote

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Re: Ask Darth Vader
« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2016, 03:30:07 pm »
0

Actually, I was just screaming in rage, but the vocoder took what I said and translated it to what infamous terrible line. It's quite pitiable, really. I try not to scream now.

That's not how a vocoder works though.

I didn't realize you were an expert on ancient, extragalactic technology.
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