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Author Topic: My Survivor audition video  (Read 10025 times)

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enfynet

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #25 on: December 30, 2015, 11:34:31 pm »
0

I was writing a response to this post but my wife informed me that I was "just feeding the trolls." So I will simply ask you to read my posts in this thread. All the answers you want are in there.

Don't worry about hurting my feelings. If something isn't working or doesn't make sense or reflects poorly, tell me about it. I don't want to submit a video with a bad thing on it. The thing that would hurt my feelings the most is not getting called back by CBS and not getting on their show.

It's not easy to read critical comments, but you specifically asked us to be critical. I would suggest looking at it from the outside. If someone else made this video, how would YOU make a better video to beat this person?
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AdamH

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #26 on: December 30, 2015, 11:41:14 pm »
0

Yeah, I was really excited to get some negative comments, because I thought I found a way to improve the video, but I can't take anything he says seriously. I'm hoping some other people who agreed with him (there were lots of +1s on that post!) can be more specific and give me better (factual) reasons that I can translate into actual feedback.
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silverspawn

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #27 on: December 31, 2015, 07:24:30 am »
+3

Not that I have any relation to the context of this thread (or even know what survivor is) but

Yeah, I was really excited to get some negative comments, because I thought I found a way to improve the video, but I can't take anything he says seriously. I'm hoping some other people who agreed with him (there were lots of +1s on that post!) can be more specific and give me better (factual) reasons that I can translate into actual feedback.

This is good feedback, I've +1ed your post (along with several others) and I appreciate that you've taken the time to type this.

This is exactly what the ErrinF guy did in the gunpowder thread; first he said the criticism was great, then when it got uncomfortable he called us out for it.

And I don't think anything PPS posted here is unreasonable. Calling him a troll also implies that he was unintentionally unhelpful, which I can guarantee you is not the case.

If you don't agree with his points just don't respond.

pingpongsam

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #28 on: December 31, 2015, 09:01:36 am »
+3

I will say I initially watched your audition because I expected your appearance to be an automatic disqualifier. However, while you are not going to be heartthrob material, you definitely have sufficiently good genetics that I don't think your appearance will work against you at all. While they will no doubt cast some extra attractive people I don't expect you have to compete on that front.

I would ask if you have watched the audition videos for those people you know who did get selected for previous seasons?

I was writing a response to this post but my wife informed me that I was "just feeding the trolls." So I will simply ask you to read my posts in this thread. All the answers you want are in there.

I had overlooked your posts with the links. I am largely suggesting you follow the advice of point number one in the blog link you provided; show, don't tell. You are breaking this rule. The rock climbing and dum dum scene are good examples of adhering to this guideline.
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Witherweaver

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #29 on: December 31, 2015, 09:21:37 am »
+2

Yeah, I was really excited to get some negative comments, because I thought I found a way to improve the video, but I can't take anything he says seriously. I'm hoping some other people who agreed with him (there were lots of +1s on that post!) can be more specific and give me better (factual) reasons that I can translate into actual feedback.

I think it's just an artifact of the way PPS talks, honestly.  I do think he's being sincere here. (I don't know whether or not he's correct in his view of what kind of video this should be.)
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AdamH

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #30 on: February 08, 2016, 08:33:24 pm »
+13

It's been a while, and I want to submit this video soon. I have a final draft of what I'm going to submit.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to respond. I took a good amount of the advice here, and didn't take some other advice; some of that is because of my own limitations, like it's hard for me to get certain types of footage, that kind of thing.

I don't want to make huge changes before I submit, but I thought I'd at least link the final thing.
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pingpongsam

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #31 on: February 09, 2016, 08:23:07 am »
+3

That is a major improvement. Miles ahead of the previous version.

I think if they are looking for the nerdy silly person for the roster you would be in the short list.
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qmech

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #32 on: February 09, 2016, 02:48:03 pm »
+3

Brilliant job!  It was brave of you to post the first version to this den of pedants.  I hope you don't regret it; either way you deserve a lot of respect for opening yourself to criticism and then making substantial improvements.

Good luck with the casting.
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Polk5440

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #33 on: February 09, 2016, 11:28:55 pm »
+9

The second video is far and away the better audition video.  I am thinking about final edits and am going to suggest a couple of really specific things:

As with others, I agree the rock climbing bit is the best and moving it up front is great. In fact, it should be right up front. After you say "...amazing on television" skip the sax bit and then go right to the rock climbing section because it best shows why you would be amazing. The sax clip less so, so it should be moved later.

Where to move it to? Well, I would edit the video as follows: After you mention the Dum-Dums, cut to the sax clip. Edit in an annotation that says "Not a Dum-Dum" pointing ambiguously at you and the sax. Cut to the actual Dum-Dum stuffing. Edit in an annotation "Dum-Dums" pointing to the lollipops. Then cut to the rock climbing discussion of your job.

This editing serves a few purposes: 1) moves the best bit to the front, 2) cuts rock climbing up with more variety, so the video is more interesting overall, 3) gives you a chance to add additional (visual) humor to the video, and 4) juxtaposes an insinuation that you are a dumb-dumb (a possible cover) with the truth that -- "oh!" -- you are actually very smart with a potentially sneaky job ("like a hacker"). Traits that, from what I understand in my minimal viewing of Survivor's early seasons, can make for an interesting show.

The Dominion clips in the second effort make a lot more sense in the broader narrative you are telling (and showing!!) about yourself. However, it can be tied in a little better with the "story" of your audition tape. I am thinking about edits/additional script for 1:31-1:50. Possible script addition: "That forum game of Survivor? Yeah, that's a DOMINION forum." And I strongly encourage you to engage in a little more bravado when describing your abilities as a Dominion player. You should mention that Dominion is a highly strategic game of player interaction and luck and you are one of the best players in the world. I am serious. It's only slight hyperbole, and absolutely true for some definition of "top". This serves to better show that you could be a very good Survivor player.

The weakest part of the new video is the bit with your dog. It's just a little long and it with the Dominion video contributes to a long section where we are basically just seeing your head and torso while sitting down. Not exciting television. If you had time to re-film, this is where I would focus; the 2-2:40 mark. Even keeping the script the same, you could be filmed walking, discussing your board gaming group (possibly caring a board game -- Dominion? -- in hand). You could walk up to your house, set the board game down, then begin petting your dog. This would be about 2:30 and tie in your script so the dog isn't there on screen for so long before you introduce her. This would also give you a chance to walk past your wife or introduce another visual gag if you are going for more humor (maybe see an outrageous pile of board games in your entry or something with your wife trying to keep them from tipping over. I don't know. Just brainstorming).

But overall, very nicely done. Good luck!

EDIT: Sorry if you didn't want any more comments and already submitted! I didn't see how old this thread was.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 11:33:59 pm by Polk5440 »
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Accatitippi

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2016, 06:12:47 pm »
+2

That was very good!
I don't really know what survivor is (I'm aware of the fact that we have similar shows here but I don't watch tv), so the only criticism I feel entitled to give is this:
When you start talking about Dominion, it was not immediatley clear to me that from a certain moment the explaining AdamH had left the field to the streaming AdamH (who had been muted but on screen all that time), so what streaming AdamH said didn't make sense to me the first time through since I was missing a big chunk of context.
So, maybe make it somehow clearer that he (you) started speaking? (just a slightly longer pause between exp-AH and str-AH would go a long way, I think)
Good luck!  :)
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Axxle

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Re: My Survivor audition video
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2016, 11:29:02 pm »
+1

Woah, excellent audition vid! The only nitpick I have is that the first scene with you talking is a bit dark so you might want to reshoot it in better lighting if you can, otherwise I'll be rooting for you on Fans vs Favorites 3!
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