What if Dominion cards had flavor text like MTG cards? I've taken it upon myself to come up with some flavory texty-wexty for some of them - try to guess which card is being described!
1) Whisper in the right ear, and anything can happen. Advisor
2) Give, and ye shall receive. Poor House
3) My salt-drenched heart grew warm when my eyes beheld the beacon. Lighthouse
4) This is the best candelabra I've ever seen! Masterpiece
5) Judging by these very obvious footprints, he probably went... that way. Scout
6) All that glitters might be gold. Fool's Gold
7) Might I interest you in our latest model? Does not go mad and kill you, guaranteed! Golem
8) Such great power in so small a vessel... but do I wield it, or it wield me? Relic
9) Get your 100% pure snake oil right here! Mountebank
10) We are one. We are many. You will convert, or die. Cultist
11) In your future I see both fortune and misfortune... and plenty of gold for me. Soothsayer
12) You don't want no trouble, do ya? Goons
13) There is no goal in mind; only progress for progress' sake. Laboratory
14) Yeah, it's just around back... you didn't bring anyone with you, right? Shanty Town
15) The nobility must always ride in style. Royal Carriage
16) Round and round the the dance we go... when we stop, my face I'll show. Masquerade
17) Hah! I'd like to see them try to get in here! Fortress
18) What do I do? Why, a little of this, a little of that... Jack of all Trades
19) Not all prices are paid in gold. Ill-Gotten Gains
20) Pay the toll, or I'll eat you up! Bridge Troll